˖ ࣪ AGAIN, AGAIN, 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡
AGAIN. . . !

━━━━━ ( 028. real life )
✶  ・・❛ IT'S SO OVER. ❜

( ☼ )

CHRIS' JAW REMAINS TICKED on his way to his locker. due to the fact that he just got fucking suspended for the rest of the week, he has to follow the principal there.

the day isn't even over yet; they got marylou to come pick him up. god fucking forbid he is allowed to get his things from his locker by himself.

he's having one of the worst days of his life he's decided. he is officially done with clementine and her empty promises. he just wants to be at home in his bed — far, far away from jax, clementine, and all their bullshit.

it's as if the universe is attempting to get yet another laugh at him though, because as he follows the principal, he spots clementine. she is a distance away as they're walking opposite directions in the hallway, but that doesn't stop her from catching his eye. her stare is locked on him, her lips twisted into a frown that only infuriates chris.

in what world does she get to be upset? she chose this.

his tongue rolls across his inner bottom lip as he pulls his eyes away, forcing himself to block her out and focus on following the principal instead. he can't allow himself to waste anymore energy on her when all that's done has ended him up here.

when he ultimately passes through her line of vision, he's internally relieved as he can't stand to look at her right now. he and the principal eventually reach his locker, and a couple awkward minutes pass of chris gathering his stuff up before they begin taking the same path they just traveled, now to exit.

they maneuver through the hallways for a second time and once they make it back to the office, chris has to sit through a multitude of tedious moments in which the principal gets stopped for small talk by a different variety of coworkers.

finally, the principal gives him one last scolding before sending him on the way with all of the stuff he needs for the next week. he takes in a deep breath before pushing the front school doors open and tries to hide the way his expression diminishes at the sight of marylou parked in one of the very first spots. all he can think about is how he is so not looking forward to this on his way to the passenger side of the car.

as soon as he opens the car door, the silence of the car engulfs him. he's immediately feeling uncomfortable due to the tension radiating from his mother in the drivers seat, but he ignores it to his best ability as he climbs inside. his face scrunches up slightly when the sound of the door closing fills the relatively quiet vehicle.

he decides to get this over with as quickly as possible. he accepts his fate. "mom—" he tries.

"i don't even want to hear it, chris," she cuts him off before he's even really began, causing him to instantly shut his mouth. she switches the gear shift and begins pulling out after shooting chris a disapproving look. he looks out his window as she adds, "i didn't teach you violence."

chris clamps his eyes shut for a moment before coming up with a poor line of defense. "but, jax—"

"jax?" marylou repeats instantly, chris instantly knowing he's fucked up at the very tone of her voice. she looks over at him in disbelief and suddenly, his shoes look like the most interesting thing in the world. "don't tell me this is the same jax you've been complaining about for years," he can feel the narrowing of her eyes, and it makes him squirm in his seat. "clementine jax?"

chris' mood immediately sours at her last words, snapping his head to finally look back at her. "yes, clementine jax," he responds reluctantly, as if the sentence pains him. he then looks away, leaning further into his seat. "and sorry to say, but seriously, he had it co—"

he's unsurprisingly interrupted by his mother reaching forward to lightly swat his arm. he instinctively looks over to her and she purses her lips. "i told you i don't want to hear it, chris."

he sighs and turns away yet again, now sinking further into his seat.

( ☾ )

"ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY?"

clementine takes in a sharp breath as she turns from her reflection in the mirror to bianca on her left. she leans back against the sink when she looks at her. "of course," she tries, bianca only continuing to frown at her. "i told you, me and jax both made mistakes. it's all fine now."

"but i thought..." bianca eventually trails off, not wanting to bring the elephant in the room up when clementine gives her a look. she ultimately sighs, "you just don't look happy to me, clem."

clementine's heart sinks, but her poker face is too good for it to be visible. she manages a tight-lipped smile to the very best of her abilities. "of course i am, b," she tries to assure bianca, but she is not an idiot; the two of them are both aware she is currently lying. "trust me."

bianca's lingering gaze travels over the features of her face, her frown remaining intact until she eventually forces a small smile. "okay then," she gives up, taking a step back as clementine internally feels relieved she won't have to continue defending herself. "i'll see you later."

"see you later," clementine responds, managing a smile until she turns and begins to walk away. she watches her exit the bathroom until clementine is seemingly the only one left, her eyes reluctantly trailing to her reflection.

at the sight of herself, her stomach drops. she hasn't had a true moment to herself since she woke up for school this morning. she rests her hands on the surface of the sink, leaning forward slightly to take a closer look at her dark circles.

she looks like shit.

with a sigh, she leans back to her previous place, keeping her hands over the sides of the sink. looking at the mirror kind of makes her want to puke right now, so she looks down to her feet. she does not want to go back to the classroom yet.

the longer she stares at the feet, the tighter her throat becomes. she's confused as to why it seems like there's a lump in it, until she raises her head and meets her own glassy eyes in the mirror. oh, she's crying. that's great.

she takes in a sharp breath, but that only seems to make it worse, so she stands up straighter as she watches a few tears drop from her eyes. she can not be crying in the school bathrooms right now.

it appears that she is though, as she reaches to wipe some tears away to the best of her best abilities not to mess with her makeup. she's so focused on her messy self that she almost doesn't hear the big stall opening. she does though, and her eyes widen as whoever opens the stall is about to see her in such a vulnerable state. she resists the urge to spin around, and glances through the mirror to find astoria with her school supplies in hand. you're kidding, clementine thinks.

she figures this must be the universe trying to get a laugh out of her, until she remembers astoria would always skip this period because scheduling put her in an accounting class. it's clear she still does, judging by her school supplies in hand. of course.

clementine pries her eyes from her old best friend and decides to pretend this is not happening to her, because this is not happening to her. she looks down to her feet as she was before, and presses her lips together as more tears—now of frustration—build.

she's thinking about her bed at home when she hears astoria not walking towards the door, but her, and internally sighs. she blinks repeatedly to hold some tears back and is aware that she is failing, when the girl ultimately stops stood right next to her. in the corner of her eye, she sees her hand out a tissue. a tissue.

clementine resists from groaning and skeptically takes it from her hand. she raises her head and sees concern etched across her face, so she ignores it and begins to wipe her tears. "do we really have to do this?" clementine speaks with a sigh.

astoria only shrugs, watching the girl destroy the evidence of her feelings silently. her silence begins to bother clementine though, as she continues to feel her heavy gaze on her.

she's not sure why the air around them seems so stuffy, but it's almost hard to breathe for her, so she's dying to break the silence somehow. she pats underneath her eyes one final time before stepping to the side to throw the tissue away. she notices now, that astoria has momentarily sat her stuff on the sink, and when she turns to her, she suddenly has something to say. "no one knows i went to your house after chris broke up with me, do they?"

astoria's immediately clearly taken off guard, judging by the shock evident in her sudden change of expression. her eyebrows furrow as she processes her question, ultimately pressing her lips together.

clementine deems her silence as an answer itself. she dryly laughs, looking to the ceiling. "figured."

"look," astoria starts, her voice prying clementine's eyes back to her. "i tried to be there for you," she confidently says, clementine's eyebrows raising now. "but you ghosted me."

clementine shakes her head, knowing why she thinks that, but not finding her thought process within good reasoning. "that's such bullshit."

astoria scoffs, and it's clear she's taken offense to what clementine thinks. "you stopped responding to my texts, you never tried reaching out, you shut everyone-"

"please," clementine cuts her off before she can continue her ridiculous list. "if you really cared, you would've found a way," she argues, finding her point valid. "you didn't try stopping by once."

astoria's eyebrows pull together, falling silent for a moment before she speaks again. "that's why i didn't tell anyone," she says honestly, her voice different.

clementine furrows her eyebrows, momentarily taken aback. "what?"

"because i feel guilty, clementine," she tells her with emphasis, the crease between her eyebrows growing as clementine's lips turn downwards. "which after today," she starts, "i'd think you'd know a thing or two about," she adds pointedly, eventually causing the girl to scoff.

clementine looks away from her, rolling her tongue over the inside of her bottom lip. "i don't know what you're talking about."

astoria gives her a blank look. "i don't know what jax has on you," she begins, taking a step forward as her words immediately catch clementine's attention. "but i know you're not stupid enough to stay with a guy that treats you like shit, and chris cares about you. he's been fighting for you." clementine's face drops at the mention of the boy. "but he's not going to if you don't fix this," she tells her seriously, not sure what clementine is thinking due to her guard being up. "you need to fix this or you're gonna lose him."

clementine stares at her for a prolonged moment before ultimately breaking away, taking a short step back. "i've already lost him," she responds with a shrug. "it was going to happen, and it did, so that's that."

astoria furrows her eyebrows at how confident she is with her words. "you haven't, clementine," she tries to tell her, not being able to help her voice softening. "you just—"

"you just need to leave me alone," clementine finishes for her, shaking her head and starting to turn away. "it's over," she says as she begins her exit, astoria watching her with her arms crossed over her chest. "it's so over." she frowns as she watches clementine turn the corner after opening the bathroom door.

she ultimately makes it back to her class with five minutes left until the periods over. the bell rings, and on the way to her next class, she realizes it's her science period shared with astoria. it's not like they have to sit next to each other or anything, but just her presence after them talking in her bathroom is gonna make her feel worse. she can not win today.

she gets to her seat in the very back and watches whenever astoria walks in to sit near the front. see, the two used to sit together, but clementine moved seats after they came back from christmas break.

after the late bell rings, the substitute teacher explains that the work is on google classroom, so clementine pulls out her school chromebook and puts her airpods in.

she's five minutes into her work when she hears the chair next to her be scraped against the floor. she instantly snaps her head around, taking in a sharp breath when astoria sets her school stuff down on the other end of the table. "i don't know what you think-"

astoria cuts her off with a roll of her eyes. "just shut up," she interrupts, taking the seat anyways and pulling out her chromebook.

clementine presses her lips together, resisting saying anything further. she looks to her chromebook and resumes her work, now with astoria also working next to her.

( ☼ )

"I JUST DON'T KNOW what to do, mom," chris complains, blowing a huff of air from his lips as he runs a hand through his hair.

marylou purses her lips from the other side of the island counter she stands in front of. chris is sat on one of the bar stools, unveiling his anxieties so that his mother has a better understanding of his recent actions. "just let it go," she tells him simply.

chris looks at her in disbelief. "what?" he says exasperatedly. "how am i possibly supposed to let this go?" he asks dubiously as he has just explained the recent timeline of his and clementine's relationship to her. "he's taken her from me again," he emphasizes pointedly.

"well, honey, you can't make someone who doesn't want to come back, come back," she tries to tells him gently, only making him frown. "as much as you love her, i think you've put so much energy into fighting for her that you haven't taken much time for yourself," she explains. "it's okay to take a necessary step back sometimes."

he's silent for a few short seconds. "yeah," he sighs eventually, agreeing as he knows his mom is right. "especially when she clearly isn't coming back anytime soon, right?" he adds hastily.

she nods before raising her hands to call him over. "now, come give me a hug."

chris groans, but he stands from his seat anyways, being a momma's boy at heart. he walks over to her and she wraps her arms around him, allowing him to seek solace temporarily in her short embrace.

once the sweet moment has passed, she pulls away and asks, "do me a favor?" once he nods, she lets out a breath and takes a step back. "i know you're hurt," she sympathizes with him shortly before adding with a sigh, "but don't be too harsh with clementine."

he furrows his eyebrows, figuring her concern should lie with him here—not her. he doesn't voice that however, because it's his mom, so he just manages a "sure."

he doesn't get it at all though, truly—how clementine could be anyone's main concern right now. he should be the main concern. he's the hurt one. in fact, he's never felt so stupid before in his entire life. he knows that he was the villain originally, but she fooled him into believing that he meant something to her again, and that was everything to him.

he just can't seem to find himself to care about how clementine could be feeling right now.

💌

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jaden