˖ ࣪ AGAIN, AGAIN, 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡
AGAIN. . . !

━━━━━ ( 022. real life )
✶ ・・❛ SOMEWHERE IN ANOTHER LIFE. ❜

( ☼ )

CHRIS LETS OUT A SIGH AS HE attempts to pull clementine out of the uber. they arrived at his house and chris was quick to climb out of the car but it seems clementine is struggling with that part.

"clem c'mon," he mumbles, not wanting to waste this poor uber drivers time anymore as he tugs on her wrists with his hands. she only groans at his words and he sighs yet again, giving another tug. "i need you to do me a favor and use your legs."

"i can't!" she cries, looking at him with an expression that tells him she genuinely thinks she can not use her legs. chris resists the urge to sigh again and ignores the impatient look the uber driver is giving him as he stands in front of clementines door. "my legs feel like jelly."

"clementine," he grumbles, clearly getting frustrated. clementine notices his growing annoyance and frowns. he lets go of her wrists from where he was tugging on them and runs a hand through his hair. after a couple seconds of him not saying anything, he looks back to her and exhales a breath. "you don't have to walk, but can you move your legs a little?" he asks.

"umm," she pauses for a moment, eyebrows furrowing at his question as she thinks on it. "maybe?" she answers questionably.

"good." his shoulders relax as he's already decided the only way out of here. he surprises her by reaching down and grabbing both sides of her hips. he notices the way her eyes widen comically and he lowers his voice. "can you wrap your legs around me?" he asks quietly, her eyes flickering from both of his eyes one at a time before she wordlessly nods her head. he offers her a small smile because of her answer and lifts her out of her seat and up against his body. she does what he asked and wraps her legs around his waist so he quickly moves his hands to rest on the backside of her thighs to keep her from falling.

clementine wraps her arms around the back of his neck and he turns around to grab the heels she took off earlier and then close her door with his back, mumbling a short apologetic 'sorry' to the uber driver before stepping away from the vehicle.

"welp," clementine blows a breath from her lips as chris turns around and begins heading for the small path to his front door. "i'm getting deja vu right now."

chris' eyebrows scrunch together in confusion until he realizes she's referencing more passionate moments between the two spent with her legs around his waist and lovesick smiles on their faces. his eyes widen slightly and he chuckles breathily, "jesus, clem."

"i'm keeping it real," she says easily, chuckling to herself for a moment before her face falls into a more genuine one and she mindlessly taps her fingers along his neck. "i realized earlier that your hair is still really soft. like insanely soft."

the corner of his lips turn upwards as he reaches forward to turn the front doors doorknob. "that's because i still use the shampoo and conditioner you put me on."

clementine allows a smile to form on her lips, a sight chris wants to remember forever. she exhales a light airy sigh as he walks inside with her wrapped around him, quietly closing the door behind them. "jax would never."

"trigger warning." chris' face scrunches up. after setting her shoes on an end table, he pauses and stands in place in front of the door so he can focus on her for a second. "you should dump him."

clementine scoffs at how easy it is for him to just say that. "you should die."

chris presses his lips together. "well!" he clicks his tongue. "that's not every nice."

"you know what wasn't very nice?" she asks him, still somehow painfully able to come up with comebacks in her drunken state and making chris cringe as he already knows what she's going to say.

"if you say what i think you're—"

"christma—"

"chris!" clementine exclaims, cutting her previous statement off as chris suddenly let's her down with no warning. she stumbles slightly and holds onto his elbows but manages to land on her feet. once she's balanced, she looks up at him with a huff. "this is sooo why we're never getting back together."

chris just shakes his head, not even paying attention to whatever she's saying. he crosses his arms over his chest and clementine wants to giggle for some reason. "i had a feeling you could walk."

"and i had a feeling you could carry me!" she responds cheerily, actually grinning at him now with no shame in the way she's been lying about her incapability to walk. when his face remains unimpressed, she huffs. "geez, chris. try being a woman these days." she pulls that card, making him blink. "you just wouldn't get it."

"okay, clem," he sighs, just shaking his head. "i'm gonna go grab you some clothes," he tells her, causing her to nod. "can you just stand here?"

she rolls her eyes as if that's a stupid question. "obviously."

chris narrows his eyes at her, wanting to believe she can stand in one place for a small moment of time. he grabs her shoes that he set down earlier and turns around to begin making his way to his room, praying that he doesn't somehow come back to a drunk clementine mess.

once he's in his room, he puts her shoes down and then pauses for a moment to decide what to give her. he hasn't seen her in his clothes in a while so... come on, he's gonna take his time choosing.

he eventually decides on one of his lyrical lemonade hoodies that clementine used to absolutely always wear. she claimed it was his comfiest one. he'd love to see her wearing it again, of course. he also grabs a pair of sweatpants, wanting her to be as cozy as possible.

he lets out a breath once he's got the clothes in his hands and quickly turns around—only to stop dead in his tracks at the sight of his mother stood in his doorway. his face and stomach drop at once and of course, just of course, clementine steps in the light to reveal herself stood behind her in the hallway. "hi, chris," marylou says, her voice unreadable as chris suddenly feels like he's going to shit himself.

"mom!" he says nervously, forcing out a chuckle as he awkwardly walks over to her. "hey..."

"i thought you, matt, and nick were going to be out tonight?" she questions him, not yet addressing the fact that clementine is literally here.

"well!" he starts, rubbing at the back of his neck. "we uh... we were, but..." he trails off, unsure of what to even say. how does he word that he managed to get clementine in his grasp again just for her to immediately leave and get drunk in shame? "i um..."

"you had other priorities, i see," she hums, keeping her tone steady and not revealing anything about how she feels. it makes chris want to die because he can't tell if he's in trouble or not for bringing clementine over in the dead of the night. "so, i have a question."

"you have a question," he repeats slowly, causing her to nod. "okay..."

"why did i find clementine spinning around in circles in our kitchen?" she asks, chris' eyebrows raising to the very top of his forehead.

spinning around in circles? it's official, drunk clementine has lost her mind. chris awkwardly laughs. "that is a great question!" he enthuses to buy time, marylou squinting at him slightly. "one that i definitely have an answer to! i just uh—"

he stops talking when she grabs the clothes in his hands without a word and turns around to face clementine. clementine watches her curiously and marylou hands them out to her. "here you go, hun," she says softly, making chris sigh of relief because finally, her tone doesn't sound mad. "you know where the bathroom is."

clementine nods and then turns around silently, beginning to head there. chris frowns momentarily, noticing how weirdly quiet she is right now.

he doesn't have enough time to actually think on it though, because when his mom turns back around it's like she's a new person. instantly, her hands are on her hips. "are you guys back together?"

"wh—what?" he stutters. he actually stutters. "no..."

marylou then blinks at him, making him all the more confused. she's silent for a few seconds before sighing and just turning around without a word. chris' eyebrows furrow and he follows her out to see her just walking down the hallway. "mom??" he calls questionably. "why are you just walking away?"

she pauses and turns back around, giving her son a pointed tilt of her head. "because this conversation no longer interests me, christopher," she tells him, the use of his full name making him resist a groan.

"okay, well..." he pauses for a second, a little nervous because he's actually asking her if it's okay when he says, "she's staying the night?" he says it questionably, giving her a look that suggests he's asking for her approval.

"yeah, i'd sure hope so, sweetie," she responds sassily with a crossing of her arms. chris then presses his lips together, watching as she turns around and leaves the hallway after she's spoken.

he shakes his head for a moment before sighing and just walking out of the hallway as well. he instead makes his way to the spare bathroom to make sure clementines alright. he reaches the bathroom and sees the light on through the crack of the door. gently, he raises his fist to the door and knocks twice. "you okay, clem?"

"yeah," he hears her reply on the other side.

he waits for her to open the door for a moment, but it becomes clear she has no plan to do so. "you gonna come out now?"

"nah."

chris sighs deeply for what he feels has been the fiftieth time tonight. he reaches his hand for the doorknob and opens the door for himself. his eyebrows raise once he finds clementine changed, but sat down in the bath tub of all places. she's sat against the wall so that she's directly facing the door and chris gives her a look. "alright... why are we in the tub?" he asks her, stepping into the room hesitantly and glancing around. "did you puke and miss the toilet or what?"

clementines face scrunches up. "no, weirdo."

"okay so..." chris trails off, just not getting it. "why..." he doesn't even continue with his sentence, he feels like she should understand what his question is.

clementine, for once, doesn't have any words for him. she brings her knees to her chest and looks away, staring at the wall like it's some extraordinary art piece. chris frowns. he turns around and shuts the door, locking it too just to make sure they have no more interruptions from family members.

after he turns back around, she's still looking at the wall, so he sighs and walks over to the bath tub. slowly, he climbs in as well. she turns her head to look at him just as he plops down beside her. he looks back at her and he can't read her expression. they just stare wordlessly.

eventually, like the eye contact is too much, clementine breaks. usually, chris would smirk and take that as some sort of victory, but with the way he can sense somethings wrong, he doesn't even think about it. she begins biting one of her acrylic nails as she says, "i did puke again."

chris hums, trying to tell what the actual issue is here. "do you feel sick?" he asks carefully.

she shakes her head, not giving an actual answer which only makes chris' frown deepen. he wants to ask what's making it so difficult for her to express whatever she's feeling when suddenly, she turns to look at him. "does marylou hate me now?" it's her turn to frown, catching chris completely off guard.

"what?" he says in disbelief, unable to believe that's seriously what's got her all quiet. "clem, no... not at all... what?" he manages. "if there's anyone she hates after our break up, it's me, and that's saying something because i'm literally her son. come on now."

she manages a nod, taking his answer for what it is. he twists his lips to the side, unsure of why she'd think that and hoping it's just the alcohol making her overthink. he assumes that that's all that's bothering her, but immediately realizes he is wrong when she suddenly looks back to him. "did i do something?"

chris' eyebrows furrow yet again, not at all understanding her. "no, you didn't. that's what i just—"

"no, chris, i mean before," she explains just enough for his face to drop, his heart sinking as he realizes what she's really asking. "did i do something last winter?"

chris' lips twist downwards as guilt instantly begins building up in his chest. she's not being exactly direct about it, but chris is smart enough to put the pieces together and figure out she's asking what she did to make him break up with her. she didn't do anything and he feels an ache in his chest at the thought of her thinking so. alcohol just gives you the courage to say things you're afraid to when you're sober, so chris' heart is practically on the floor as he realizes she's probably had thoughts like this for a while.

it's as if chris is finally realizing that just because jax doesn't deserve her, doesn't automatically mean he does. right now, looking at the vulnerability on her face as she waits for him to explain what she did wrong enough to make him want to leave her, he feels no better than jax. knowing that there's some part of clementine that blames herself for their end, chris feels just as bad as his own sworn enemy.

"clementine..." he just barely gets her name out, his expression nothing but remorseful as they look at one another. "you didn't do anything. please don't think that," he sighs. "it was all me."

much to his dismay, his answer doesn't seem to soothe her away. "why?" she asks shortly. that's all. just why.

chris shakes his head. he isn't sure how to explain what exactly was going through his head when he got the idea to just break things off with clementine. he had small doubts about their future after high school and instead of communicating it, he kept it bottled up. the doubt spread like a virus outbreak in his mind and soon enough, it's all he could ever think about. he couldn't even enjoy his time with clementine, he was completely elsewhere and consumed by his own thoughts. he thought the only way to ease his anxiety about what was to come for them was by getting the hard part—the part he feared the most—over with. he was a complete and utter fool.

"i just got in my own head," he answers weakly, cringing slightly when her expression remains unchanged. he sits up a little straighter and tries to look at her seriously. "i'm past it, clementine. i didn't realize how much easier it was to just talk about it," he tells her. "i understand it now, okay? i'm not going to just.. shut you out."

clementines lips form a frown at his words and he almost feels like her eyes grow sad, as if she's thinking to the last time he shut her out. he knows he started getting distant with her after thanksgiving. he thought he could just bottle his feelings up, but it wasn't doing him any favors and he knows that now.

"how am i supposed to believe you?" she asks him. it's a really good question. chris wasn't really expecting that question. chris does not have an answer to that question.

"i don't know," he replies, clementine blinking at him as he leans further into the bathtub wall behind them. "but i hope you do," he adds on, giving a shrug because he just sees things that simply.

clementine is quiet for a moment and while she's looking away from him, chris admires her as he awaits whatever she's going to respond with. it's crazy that he was so hung up on his future before when now, every time he looks at her, that's all that he sees—his future.

eventually, she looks back to him and sighs. "i don't want to," she starts. chris sees where her wording is going and the corner of his lips twinge upwards before she even continues on. "but i do," she finishes with yet another sigh, slouching back into the wall like the words carry a weight.

chris can't help it, he just smiles. the fact that she believes him makes him have all the more faith in their future together. he knows he can get her back—he can finally have her by his side again. she's so close she's practically at arms-lengths, he can feel it. he just needs to steal her away from jax and he'll be able to sleep soundly at night again. sure, he might be taking one small sentence from her and running with it, but he doesn't care. he's going to keep fighting for her and it's going to be so worth it—in this moment, he's absolutely sure of it.

clementine tries not to show any fondness at the sight of his smile, but he can see her resisting a smile which only makes his grin widen. he scoots his head closer to her and grows quieter. "i'd kiss you again," he starts, clementines eyebrows instantly raising. "but you're drunk." what an unfortunate thing because honestly, his words are completely true. he'd love to test his luck right now and try to steal another kiss from her. now that he's experienced his favorite feeling again after going without her for months, it's like a drug he's just been reunited with after going completely sober.

clementine hums, glancing over his face and yeah, chris really wishes she didn't have any alcohol in her system. "i feel pretty sober right now," she tells him without a care—like she's unaware of how much that tempts the boy.

the corner of his lips turn up, but alas, she respects his choice and turns away slightly to change the conversation. "i don't know why i thought that was a good idea anyway," she says, referring to her alcohol consumption. "i always think about you when i drink," she reveals with a sigh.

chris feels like a kid in a candy store with all that she's saying to him, but no, he's just in a bath tub with his drunk ex. "i always think about you, drunk or sober. it's always you," he tells her smoothly with a shrug, just grinning lazily at her as she looks into his eyes. he's practically beaming from how this conversation has shifted, so he has the confidence to subtly suggest a thing or two to her. "you know it doesn't have to be this way," he adds on carefully.

chris watches the way her face changes slightly and feels some of his confidence fade away. her mood seems to change again and he makes note of it in his brain. "it's not that easy," she tells him knowingly, giving him just a slight tilt of her head.

"why not?" he challenges, not wanting to back down just yet. "it's always been easy with us."

clementine now frowns completely. "that was before, chris." chris' expression drops and she looks down, beginning to pick at her nails. "and you should stop suggesting that and forgive yourself before you say it any more," she adds on quickly while keeping her head down instead of making eye contact with him.

"forgive myself?" chris is quick to repeat questionably, feeling defensive. "what are you even talking about?"

clementine now looks at up at him, giving him a look that they both know the meaning of. "don't give me that," she shakes her head, the two of them both knowing she knows him enough to be able to read what's going on with him easily. "don't act like i don't know you."

chris presses his lips together, now being the one to look away from her. "i'll forgive myself after you and jax break up," he says quite blankly, meaning it too.

"really?" clementine pries and when he turns his head, he hates the way she's narrowing her eyes at him. "you can beg on your knees for me to forgive you but when it comes to yourself, that's crossing the line?"

chris' expression sours just slightly and clementine raises her eyebrows, waiting for him to start with what he has to say already. he takes in a breath before opening his mouth. "clementine, you and i both know you're not supposed to be with him, and as much as you want to deny it, we both know you won't end up with him," he starts off strong, not missing a beat. her eyes widen at his straightforwardness and he keeps going. "i gave up on us and let you fall for him. i lost you, so you found him. that's my fault. i'm the reason you're in this place. please, let me be mad," he sighs, clementine beginning to frown.

she shakes her head after he finishes speaking. "you act like you committed an unforgivable deed," she murmurs.

chris blinks at her. "i did," he responds, squinting his eyes at her because she can not be trying to speak sarcastically right now. "and i know that even though you're saying you forgive me, some part of you still feels like that too."

clementine sighs, hating how he's always able to figure her out. she searches his eyes for anything ingenuine and of course, just like she knew she wouldn't, she doesn't. she manages to give him a small smile after a few seconds of silence. "i'm here, aren't i?" she tries.

"yeah?..." chris responds questionably.

"so that's got to mean something," she tells him, trying to push him in the right direction of what she's getting at.

chris just blinks at her. he has a blank look on his face as he says, "clem, we both know you would've never wanted to come here sober."

she clears her throat. "well..." she trails off momentarily, thinking for a bit longer on her words before going on to speak. "somewhere in another life i'm sure there's a version of me that's here just to be here, right?" she asks him, awaiting a nod.

chris' eyebrows furrow, but still, he nods. "i guess so..."

"so let's just pretend we're in that one," she suggests easily. the fact that she thinks it's so simple really shows how much alcohol she must still have in her system.

chris raises his eyebrows at her, beginning to chuckle. "i don't think it works like that."

clementine frowns momentarily before leaning back with a huff. "wouldn't things be so easy if it did though?"

chris nods before deciding to play along with what she's saying. "i don't know," he shrugs. "maybe in another life, things are just that easier."

she hums and crosses her arms. "well, i wish it was this one." he looks over to her and notices how a frown is occupying her face now. her mood keeps changing so fast he can't keep up with it and it makes him frown as well. "everything's so hard now."

"i know," he replies quietly with a sigh.

after a beat of silence passes, clementine turns to chris again. "chris?"

"yeah?" he turns to her as well.

"i'm gonna sleep in this bath tub." that was absolutely, never in a million years, not what he expected her to say.

"mhm," chris mumbles, giving her a look. "clem?"

"yeah?"

"no the fuck you're not."

clementine sighs. "worth a shot."

💌

look who remembered how to write for this fic 😜😜😜😜😜😜😜

she cares ab him so much when she's drunk aw😕😕

this fic has rlly just been me being absolutely batshit insane and u guys eating it up like thank u

<3
jaden