˖ ࣪ AGAIN, AGAIN, 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡
AGAIN. . . !

━━━━━ ( 008. real life / imessage )
✶ ・・❛ SICK OF YOUR SHIT. ❜

( ☾ )

CLEMENTINE WALKS THROUGH the side doors of the auditorium, messily brushing her hair back behind her ears with her hands. she lets out a slightly frustrated puff of air, chris being weirdly hurt from the words she shot at him weirding her out.

she steps away from a couple people whose walking she was accidentally slowing down. she glances over the seats all the students sit at, trying to find a familiar face, like her boyfriend or her best friend. she lost bianca on their way out of art class since chris stopped her in the middle of her walking so she doesn't know where she went.

clementines body stiffens just slightly when she realizes just a couple rows of seats above the seats she's currently standing in front of, are where nick, matt, and astoria are sitting at. her face falls slightly, glancing over nicks and astoria engaged in conversation, matt mindlessly scrolling through his phone, and the few empty seats next to them.

them being right in front of her takes her back to a time she'd forgotten, the same out of place feeling she felt then creeping back in her stomach.

CLEMENTINE LETS OUT A slightly shaky breath, picking up her school stuff from her desk as the bell rings.

it's the first day back at school since christmas break, meaning it's also the first day back at school since her and chris have broken up. it's actually fucking insane how out of place she feels.

the bell period just rang, initiating the beginning of her free break period, the one she has with chris and their entire friend group. they always go in the cafeteria but now she doesn't have a clue where to go. she's hardly talked to them since chris broke up with her, just awkward messages as they said they were all sorry about things ending with chris and that they support her still, no matter what. she hasn't seen them at all today since she was far too nervous to come to school on time, instead coming in late in the middle of a class she doesn't have with any of them.

now, she can either face them—face chris, or avoid them.

she really, really wants to go with the obviously easier choice of avoiding them but she knows she can't. it's not right and she'll have to face them all eventually. as much as she doesn't want to see chris and have him see how she's so clearly affected by their break up, it's best to get it over with now.

so, she exits the classroom and makes her way to her locker. she takes her time entering the combination when she gets there, her nerves wanting to postpone the inevitable for as long as possible.

she puts her stuff into her locker and hesitantly begins making her way to the cafeteria, her nails staying chewed on in her mouth.

she eventually nears the corner she knows leads to the cafeteria and takes in a breath, decidedly creeping up to peer around it instead of stepping out clearly. she peaks around the wall, eyes roaming around the cafeteria tables until they land on the familiar table where all her friends sit.

her heart drops at what she sees. they all seem perfectly fine. chris seems perfectly fine.

he seems more than fine actually, he seems happy. how the fuck could he be happy right now?

her heart is on the floor as she stares at them all engaged in conversation. nick and matt are both seemingly talking about something amusing while astoria and chris listen. she can tell the atmosphere around them is light-hearted and easy from the softness of all their faces.

nick says something as he points to matt, obviously teasing by the look on his face, and chris and astoria both burst out laughing. chris is laughing.

clementine watches him, almost a sort of betrayal in her eyes. he throws his head back laughing like he has always done, with her and with the entire friend group. she had always been so fond of the sight but now it's like a stab to her hurt.

how could he laugh right now? how could he find anything amusing enough to literally cackle over it? clementine can't remember the last time she laughed except before chris shattered her heart made of glass.

how could he be okay?

clementine is not okay. she can't be okay. maybe she will be okay eventually but she doesn't want to be okay without chris.

how could chris be okay without her?

she glances over her friends that seem to be the farthest away they've ever been from her one last time. they're so cheerful, so happy. how could she ruin that? if she walked over there right now the air would become cautious. how could she replace their amused grins with uncomfortable half-smiles of sympathy? she just can't. it'd be selfish of her.

she's not a fool either. looking at them now, she can tell there's no longer any room for her. she doesn't need to try and pry her way into something that doesn't seem to involve her anymore. so, she turns around and walks away.

unstoppable tears seem to form in her eyes as she walks through the hall, realizing she doesn't have a clue where to go. where the hell could she go? her entire schedule revolves around chris and their friends that she's accepted are just his now. she's a lost mess.

she roams through the hallways and eventually settles on the library. it's the only place quiet enough for her to register the pain brewing in her heart. she enters the room and wanders all the way to the back of the bookcases. she walks to the very last bookshelf and slides down to sit on the floor in front of it. she's never felt so defeated, so out of place, in her entire life.

she sits there in her own self pity and silently cries to herself. this is what she gets for dating in the friend group, she guesses. now she's got nowhere to go.

she's snapped out of her state of sorrow when the doors open and two rather loud voices for a library are heard. they're talking about finding books so their english teacher will stop hassling them when she realizes it's jax fucking cunningham and one of his friends. she instantly throws her head back against the bookshelf behind her and has to hold in a loud groan. this is just seriously her luck.

they begin wandering through the bookcases and clementine is as silent as ever, internally praying they won't come across her. it's obvious though when they're a couple rows of bookshelves away, they must spot her because their talking grows quieter.

she tunes into what they're saying as their voices lower to loud whispers. "yo, that's sturniolos girl, right?" jaxs voice is heard, making clementine internally grimace. "the fuck is she crying for?" she holds in an eye roll, not wanting them to know she heard them.

"wait bro.. did you not hear?" his friend questions, surprise evident in his voice. after a pause, he speaks up again, "they broke up on christmas fucking eve, man."

"oh really?" jax questions.

clementine shuts their voices out after that, decidedly done on listening to them talk about her and chris' break up. like experiencing it wasn't enough.

she quietly looks at the floor in front of her, her chin in her hand as she blinks back tears she refuses to spill. it's when a pair of shoes come to stand in front of her that she blinks in surprise, accidentally letting a tear spill out, and looks up.

she's surprised when she finds jax cunningham himself standing there and looking at her with, for once, not a scowl. his face is a soft one which throws her off. what throws her off even more is when he reaches his hand out, offering her a pack of.. tissues?

she just furrows her eyebrows at him, causing him to explain. "i've always kept packs like these with me since allergy season started," he tells her, his light voice throwing her off even fucking more somehow. "my allergy's have passed though and it looks like you need them more than me."

clementines brows stay furrowed but now she hesitantly reaches her hand out to grab them from him. her fingers accidentally graze his and it's a very weird feeling, one she instantly breaks away from. "thanks..?" she says questionably.

he just nods his head, awkwardly standing with his hands in his pockets for a moment before sighing and speaking up again, "look, i'm sorry about whatever sturniolo did. i never expected him to—"

"okay, jax, stop," she cuts him off with a sigh, his eyebrows raising in surprise. "you don't have to give me this whole fake sympathy thing or whatever. thanks for the tissues but you can cut the shit now."

his eyebrows raise even more in what seems like offense but he just shrugs. "i'm not giving you sympathy, i'm being honest," he says. "the kids always been fucking stupid but for him to break up with you, that's a complete fucking dumbass move."

clementines eyebrows raise in surprise, her lips parting just the tiniest bit from how honest his tone is. he notices and gives her a small, half-smile which is completely out of the usual for him to do. "i always thought you were too good for him anyway, clementine."

clementine stays silent, that making her look away from him and to the floor. jax sighs and takes the hint, nodding his head at her once before turning and walking away.

her hand clutches around the pack of tissues and she holds in a sigh. why is jax cunningham being so nice to her all of a sudden? he's obviously only doing it because chris broke up with her but would it be crazy if she didn't even care that much? she knows it would bother chris if he ever found out and she'd honestly like to see him bothered after being so okay without her.

she wonders if kind interactions with jax would help her learn to be okay without chris. maybe it would. there's only really one way to find out.

DURING HER TRANCE, SHE must she look at her old friends for a little too long because matt cautiously looks up from his phone, spotting her. his eyebrows scrunch together just a little bit and an unreadable expression takes over his face so she quickly looks elsewhere.

her arms cross over her chest, trying to erase the lingering feeling she got from thinking on the past. she continues looking through the people, ignoring how she sees chris enter the auditorium through the corner of her eyes.

she finally spots her boyfriend in the last couple row of seats, her face washing over with relief when she notices he left an empty seat for her. she sighs, beginning to step in that direction and ignoring the look she gets from chris as he sits down in his seat.

her movements freeze when she looks back over to where jax sits, her face falling as one of his friends walk in all cheery, dabbing jax up and taking the empty seat. jax doesn't object. is he fucking serious? finnley gives her a look of sympathy from the other side of jax, him being the only one who noticed her.

literally where the fuck is clementine supposed to sit now? she glances over everyone taking seats as the room becomes more and more full, her heart sinking slightly.

chris notices her change in expression and curiously raises his head, looking behind him to see what she was looking at earlier. he rolls his eyes after spotting all the seats by jax taken and turns back around in his seat, facing clementine where she still hopelessly stands across from him. he looks at her and waits for her to look back at him.

clementine bites the inside of her lip. in the midst of her looking through all the people, her eyes accidentally fall back to chris. he's already looking at her and when she returns the eye contact, he nudges his head in the direction next to him. her eyes follow where he directs, landing on the empty seat next to him.

her eyes narrow. no way she can sit with chris.

she glances around all the taken seats around the room again though and realizes that she doesn't have much of a choice. empty seats are continuously getting filled so it's either sitting with random people or sitting with chris.

so, she sighs internally so loudly. she walks over to where her old friends sit, ignoring the way their eyes all immediately jump to her, and takes the empty seat next to chris. she can instantly feel eyes burning a hole into her back and she knows for sure that if jax doesn't see her sitting with chris himself, one of his friends will and immediately go to tell him. this small decision of where she decided to sit is going to fuck her over so badly.

chris from where he sits though, is glancing up at her amusedly, practical hearts taking over his pupils. she refuses to turn to look at him or any of the others next to him staring at her like she's some foreign creature. "boyfriend not save you a seat?" he murmurs loud enough for her to hear.

she holds in a groan, dreadfully turning her head to look back at him. he's slouched down in his seat, his hand holding up his chin as his elbow rests on the arm rest in between their seats. how he manages to look at her with such admiration like she wasn't just telling him to move the fuck on in the hallway earlier, is seriously beyond her. she doesn't even bother with responding, she just gives him an annoyed look that says every thing she feels and turns back to where she was facing forward in her seat.

"wow," he says under his breath, fidgeting in his seat slightly with a light-hearted sarcastic tone to his voice. "you really have a way with words."

clementine blinks, bored. she decides to just continue on with ignoring him when she hears him let out too loud of a sigh that has her refusing the urge to roll her eyes. she leans back in her seat, not turning to chris when she opens her mouth to speak as she already knows he's looking at her. "there's no need to talk to me," she says, beginning to cross her arms over her chest as the last few groups of students pile in and the speaker sets up the stage. "i'm literally just sitting here because—"

"because your dickhead boyfriend let someone take your seat—yeah, i saw," he cuts her off easily, causing her to turn her head in his direction and return eye contact, a bothered look on her face. "there's other empty seats though, and yet here you are."

clementines jaw ticks with annoyance, hating how the stare he has on her won't falter for even a second. he's so nonchalant, so easy-going about the way he's so casually begun to renter her life after a painfully silent few months. "you were one of the first people i saw," she defends herself.

chris' lips twitches upwards in amusement, obviously resisting the urge to smile. clementines face scrunches up, she hates that he's happy because of her right now. "it's still surprising that you'd sit here," he speaks in a soft tone that makes her want to punch him in the face. she instantly opens her mouth to argue but chris cuts her off, "geez, no need to get defensive, clem," he says sarcastically, clementines lips twisting downwards at the nickname. "i'd choose you in a crowd too," he finally adds on, shrugging as if it's the easiest thing in the world to say.

she hates that he just fucking says shit like that. she hates that she knows there's still some deep part of her that keeps her heart skipping beats when he tries to flirt with her. she just hates it. she hates how he can act normal and nonchalant. what he says is ironic too because in the end he never really chose her, he chose himself.

her face must obviously drop because chris' easy expression falters. it's almost as if he expects her to blush and look away like she would've last year, but no, this is the present. he needs a reality check, that's for sure.

clementine turns to face forward, scooting over in her seat a bit so she's further from chris in his seat. she murmurs a quiet, "that's fucking funny," and slouches back into her chair.

"clem—"

"nah," she cuts him off blankly, pulling her phone from her pocket and decidedly going back to ignoring his presence like she was before. "i honestly should've sat somewhere else when i still had the chance. in what world would sitting next to you ever fucking be a good idea." she almost chuckles dryly at her own stupidity. she should've sat with strangers.

if chris says something, she doesn't pay attention enough to hear it. she loses focus as she sees a text notification from jax. how fucking great.

jax <3
No fucking way ur sitting with Sturniolo and his weird ass brothers

clementines jaw clenches with slight annoyance. why does he always bring nick and matt into it when they haven't even done anything? she turns around in her seat until she finds where jax is sitting, finding him already looking at her. his tongue is rolled against the inside of his bottom lip and she can practically feel the anger radiating off of him. she rolls her eyes, not missing the way his jaw ticks from it, and turns around in her seat.

she catches chris glancing at her and then turning his head back to see what she was looking at but doesn't pay much attention to it. she clicks on the notification and leans further back in her seat as she begins to text her boyfriend.

JAX <3

jax <3 ( jax )
Clem ( clementine )

jax <3
No fucking way ur sitting with Sturniolo and his weird ass brothers

Clem
well maybe if u saved me a seat i wouldn't be sitting with them, would i?
also nick and matt aren't 'weird asses' they haven't even done anything lmfao

jax <3
Matts a bitch and Nicks related to them I can call them wtv I want Clementine
I tried to save you a seat and Aiden took it how is that my fault

Clem
i literally watched u dab him up and laugh
u did not say a single word ab him taking my seat

jax <3
Well he needed a seat bruh

Clem
😐
idgaf if aiden needed a seat jax.
i'm ur fucking girlfriend i'm supposed to come first over all ur football friends

jax <3
Okay my fucking mistake for letting my friend sit down then
Ur the one literally using the opportunity to sit with your ex that's clearly not over you
And you fucking know I already told you to tell him to fuck off

Clem
i did tell him to fuck off idk what else you want from me
you act like it's my fault i got paired w him for a school project

jax <3
Obviously kinda is your fault when you couldn't even manage to get the teacher to switch partners

Clem
ok.
you've been such a bitch all day today cant u just fucking chill out

jax <3
No.
How the fuck am I supposed to chill out when ur sitting with him
He literally told me to my face he's going to steal you back
How do you think it makes me look when my fucking girlfriend is sitting with the guy I hate?

Clem
ur always so worried ab how u look i assure you it's not that big of a fucking deal
and if i wanted to be w chris, i'd be w him already?? u act like i'm fucking cheating on you. i'm w you and not him for a reason???

jax <3
Whatever

Clem
no don't 'whatever' me jax.
we've been fighting for the entire week now because you're so fucking overdramatic
first the dinner thing w ur parents
then a school project i CANT control
and now me sitting somewhere else bc u gave ur friend my seat 😐

jax <3
Nah don't bring up the dinner shit again
I told you Wednesday that my parents wanted to have you over for dinner
Way before you started talking ab ur dad having some fucking lunch or some shit

Clem
i told you on MONDAY that my dad has a day off from work for the first time in forever and that he wanted to do a special dinner w me and t and i wanted to invite u
and u literally nodded and said 'alright'
and then on wednesday u acted like u had no clue bc of ur parents wanting to have dinner
like i ALWAYS go to urs to have dinner w ur parents why can't u just do smth for me for once

jax <3
Sorry if I don't want to spend my night eating Kraft mac and cheese in ur apartment
Your family doesn't even like me so I don't even know why you'd suggest that

Clem
wtv
you're a fucking dick
god i'm so sick of ur shit

jax <3
Oh alr why don't you talk about it with Chris since he's right there with you?

Clem
i don't want to fucking talk to him
why can't you get that

jax <3
Whatever
Go eat your boxed mac and cheese and find your own ride home because I don't feel like putting up with your shit for anymore of today

Clem
what the fuck?
are you fucking serious

jax <3
Yeah.

Clem
alr then lmfao.
go fuck yourself jax

CLEMENTINE SHUTS HER phone off with a tightly clenched jaw, anger practically radiating off of her. the assembly has already started now and the speakers talking about some bullshit she really couldn't give a fuck less about. she's so angry she could cry though, so she needs to find an exit.

she glances over all the doors on the sides of the seats and accidentally catches a glimpse of the concerned look chris is giving her. she makes eye contact with him and his lips are twisted to the side. she hates that he has a worried look on his face because fuck him for that. she looks right through him and he presses his lips together, for once being the first to break eye contact. clementine doesn't have to be a genius to figure out he was probably snooping over her texts.

she grows more angry from that so she can't help herself when she stands up from her seat. no one really pays attention to her since multiple students have gotten up to use the bathroom. chris, his brothers, and astoria all pay attention though, noticing the way she practically storms off. once she exits, they all turn to chris, giving him a questionable look like he'll know the answer. he just shakes his head, unsure of what to say.

clementine lets out a large sigh of relief once she's out of the auditorium. she doesn't head for the bathroom though, she heads for the gym since no one's in it. once she gets there, she goes to the reserved area underneath the bleachers.

it's where she sits with jax, bianca, and finnley during her break period but before that, it's where she would hide in her pe class with nick and astoria sophomore year. the thought makes her frown deepen and she lets out a groan, sitting down on the floor against the wall.

her head is resting against the wall behind her and her eyes are glossed over with angry tears that don't have enough energy to fall. how did she even end up here? fighting and crying over jax cunningham?

she's only been alone for a slight two minutes when she hears footsteps, her head immediately turning in the direction of the noise. when she spots the person responsible though, her eyebrows furrow.

"nick?"

💌

lowkey realized these past chapters have just been chris like "i'm in love w u bruh" and clem like "i don't care bruh" so decided to make the plot plot a little more

basically upcoming chapters will be more fun 😏😏 got some tricks up my sleeve

also death by a thousand cuts is the epitome of them
(i'm in my death by a thousand cuts era)

<3
jaden