Mari's bed always smelled nice. Mari herself always smelled really nice in general, and it made sense that would transfer onto her pillowcase. Mari was getting changed while Lorraine was lying face down on Mari's bed, trying to stop her stomach from flipping over.

"Why are we even going?" She asked after a while, rolling onto her back. "Allie's in the fucking hospital."

Mary sighed, shimmying into her jeans. "I know, but the entire rest of the team is going, and Allie wouldn't have gone anyway."

That was true. The freshman had been hauled off to hospital but she also wasn't invited to the party they were going to. It was mostly seniors, specifically jocks.

No one got 'invited' to parties, not after the fifth grade anyway. But when someone was throwing one, they'd spread the word to the more popular people. That was just how it worked. News would filter from the jocks and the cheerleaders down to slightly less popular seniors, and the most popular juniors. Everyone else would find out the morning after. Sophomores and freshmen - even if they were the only freshmen who were asked to prom - were a no-go.

Nobody wanted a fifteen year old ogling you while you did a keg stand.

Mari shrugged on a soft flannel that she'd been given by Lorraine for the sole purpose of stealing it every time she went over to Mari's place. "Alright, I'm all done. Have at it."

They swapped, Mari going to lie on her bed and Lorraine standing up in front of Mari's open closet. About half the clothes in there belonged to Lorraine, neither of them really cared. She was over so often that it didn't really matter.

She managed to find one of her skirts and dug into her back for a top she'd brought from home. Mari sat on the edge of her bed, swinging her legs. "Can I borrow your eyeliner?" she asked, fiddling with the fringe on the pillow on her lap. "Yours is always so much better than mine."

"I've been stealing yours for the past four years," Lorraine said, pulling her top over her head. "But sure."

Mari sighed, looking over at her. After everything that had gone down that day, all both of them wanted to do was have a good night and get reasonably drunk. Not too drunk, Lorraine did have to drive them home and they had to be up fairly early for nationals.

They were on their way out when she felt it. Lorraine had pretty much emptied her stomach earlier on the soccer field and she hadn't eaten since. "Here." She handed Mari her keys. "I'll be right there."

Mari took the keys uncertainly. "You okay?"

"Fine," Lorraine strained, waiting for Mari to head out before she turned back to the bathroom. Mari didn't want to press, but she could tell something was bothering her. She was worried that Lorraine was coming down with something, hopefully it would clear up before nationals.

Lorraine didn't really like talking about things that bothered her. She and Mari had been friends their entire lives, a lot went unsaid between them. They didn't talk when Jean left - they barely knew how to, they didn't talk when the power was shut off in her house for weeks because Frank hadn't payed the bills; they didn't even talk when Mike left. Lorraine didn't say her first word until she was four, and it was to her. Lorraine wasn't a talker, but if she was going to then it was going to be to Mari. Lorraine knew every single thing that had ever happened in Mari's life, an incredibly disproportionate ratio when she thought about it.

Mari knew the important parts, that wass all that mattered. And until Lorraine deemed whatever it was as important, they wouldn't talk about it.

So, they didn't. The party was about twenty minutes away, over on the edge of town, so Lorraine drove them, Mari humming along to the song on the radio while Lorraine threatened to crash into every tree if she didn't stop.

Mari had her seatbelt off before Lorraine had even parked. They were in the woods, not deep, close enough they could still see the lights of town, but far enough in that they wouldn't have the cops called on them unless someone started a fire.

"Come on," Mari grabbed her hand. "I see pizza."

Lorraine felt her chest tighten. She couldn't handle pizza right now. Her eyes scrambled to find something to lock onto. "You go, I need to talk to Laura Lee."

"I'll save you some." Mari said, going straight for the trunk that the pizza was being served out of.

Lorraine went towards Laura Lee, having to keep to her story. "Hey," she reached over behind the blonde girl to where the collection of red cups were, pouring in vodka that she hoped no one would be missing.

"Lorraine," Laura Lee smiled. "Hi. How are you? We haven't spoken in a bit."

Lorraine took a swig, nodding. "Yeah, it's... you know. Allie," she shook her head. "Nationals. Everything."

Laura Lee looked over at her knowingly. "Yale."

Lorraine still hadn't opened her letter. It was getting so late that regular letters were being sent out soon. She hadn't been able to force herself to open up the glove compartment of the car yet since, pretending she didn't even need The Cranberries tapes that she kept in there.

"So, what are you doing here?" Lorraine changed the subject, taking another swig of her drink. "I didn't really think that it was your thing."

"Everyone else came," Laura Lee shrugged. She took a sip of her own drink - water - and smiled. "I like spending time with people."

That was actually really sweet. The idea that Laura Lee liked them so much that she was putting herself in a situation that, while wasn't terrible, Lorraine knew wasn't particularly fun for her, just in order to spend time with her teammates.

"I started reading the book you gave me," Lorraine said. It felt somewhat cheap after hearing what Laura Lee had just said, but she wanted the blonde girl to know that her input was valued as well.

"Oh?" Laura Lee brightened. "How are you finding it?"

Lorraine sighed, draining her cup and reaching around for the bottle again. "I don't quite get a lot of it," she admitted. "Like, I understand it fine, but I can't quite... make myself believe in it."

"Don't force it," Laura Lee said solemnly. "If it's not happening it's not happening. The Lord will show you if he thinks you need one. Until then, he still loves you."

That felt... strangely comforting, actually. The idea that Lorraine didn't need to put everything into the relationship and God, or whoever, would still love her. It was a bit of a relief when she looked at most of the other relationships she had.

"Thank you," Lorraine said earnestly. "For listening to me about this, I know it's not your job."

Laura Lee smiled simply. "Always happy to help." She finished her water.

Lorraine had finished the tiny amount of booze left in the bottle, so she wandered off in search for more. She didn't want to get obscenely drunk, she still had to drive home, but she was also too sober to deal with everything right now.

Shauna Shipman, apparently, did not have the same problem.

"Just admit you did it on purpose!" Shauna, Lottie, Taissa and Van were crowded around a keg by a tree.

Taissa turned around, looking at Shauna in mild shock and more disgust. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Shauna was firm.

Laura Lee, trailed by Nat approached, coming to a stop right behind Lorraine.

"You're wasted," Taissa said scornfully.

Lorraine nudged Lottie, holding her hand out. Lottie handed her the joint without question, watching as the shorter girl inhaled the smoke and tipped her head back, letting it flood out her nose as her eyes closed.

"And you're a fucking sociopath!"

"Woah!" Van stepped in, putting a soft hand on Shauna's shoulder. "Calm down."

Shauna shook her off. "No! Listen you guys, we don't have to worry about the Allie problem anymore because Taissa fixed it for us." Her voice oozed sarcasm as she crossed her arms.

"What?" Laura Lee asked, turning to Nat. "What's she talking about."

Natalie had a smug look on her face, like the fact that Taissa was getting her comeuppance was more important than what she had actually done to deserve it. "She's talking about Taissa's little plan." She said facetiously.

Taissa scoffed. "Oh, please. Since when do you give a shit anyway? Don't you have a bong to hit or a dick to suck to suck?"

Both Lorraine and Lottie immediately jumped to Nat's defence, Lottie grabbing the sleeve of Taissa's jacket.

"Shut up!"

"Hey!"

Shauna stepped forward. "Don't talk to her that way!"

Natalie laughed. "Oh, fuck off, Shauna. I don't need you to defend me. Last time I checked you were fine with the whole 'freeze her out' strategy!"

Laura Lee was getting frazzled. "Okay seriously, what are we talking about?"

"Shut the fuck up, Laura Lee!"

Literally, every single one of them except Van, who also had no real idea of what was happening, turned towards the blonde girl in annoyance.

"No, no, no," Van stepped in the middle. "Stop it."

"Somebody needs to take her wasted ass home." Taissa sneered in Shauna's direction.

Lottie took the joint back from Lorraine and the two of them shared eye contact for a moment as she inhaled. Fuck.

"Say that again, bitch." Shauna definitely was wasted. Her and Taissa were easily the most aggressive players on the team. The rest of them had a bet on who was going to end the season with more fouls and last year it had been a tie. "Say that again."

Van tried to push Shauna away from Taissa but Taissa pushed through on her own. "I will say it again!"

She shoved Van who stepped back and collided with Lorraine. "Fuck!"

Everyone was yelling, most of them just at nothing. Van was trying to seperate the two of them, Lottie turned to push Van off Lorraine and Laura Lee still had no clue what was going on. Natalie was just shouting to be louder than the rest of them.

They were causing a scene, and where there was a scene there was Jackie Taylor.

The team captain stormed over, looking more angry than Lorraine had ever seen her. "Enough!"

They all fell silent.

There was a crowd, mostly horny football players who had been hoping to see a catfight, and Jackie looked around uncertainly. "Yellowjackets, with me! Now!"

As they followed her away from the rest of the party, Lorraine felt like this is what it would be like to be scolded by her parents, if she had any.

Lottie held the joint out to her and she didn't even bother taking her hands out of her pockets, instead wrapping her mouth around it and letting Lottie hold it while she took a puff. It was definitely starting to hit her now.

She wondered where Mari was.

Jackie grabbed it from her and put it out under her shoe. Lorraine scowled at her, and the blonde girl looked at her desperately. Please help me.

In any normal circumstances, Lorraine would've. She was VC, after all. But her head was spinning, and if she squinted the trees looked like buildings, so she stood in place.

"I don't know what the fuck that was," Jackie started, "but I do know that it's over. We're about to go to nationals. And based on what I'm looking at right now, we might as well not even bother getting on that plane."

When she just got blank angry looks, Jackie tried a new strategy. "Alright. Everybody line up."

This was less mom and now more seventh grade gym teacher. "No, I'm fucking serious. Line up! Come on!" Jackie clapped at them and it spurred them to move reluctantly.

Lottie let Lorraine rest her head on her elbow. Laura Lee held out her new cup of water and Lorraine took it gratefully. She was teetering, she just needed to sober up a little bit and she'd be fine.

"Here's what we're gonna do," Jackie said once they were in a line. "I want each of you to go down this line and say one nice, true thing about every other girl on this team."

Okay, that sounded fucking lame.

Taissa rolled her eyes at Van. "What is this, fucking Girl Scout camp?" Van snorted.

"Who wants to go first?" Jackie ignored them.

"I'll go, Jackie!" Laura Lee raised her hand. Jackie smiled gratefully at her and Laura Lee ventured over to where Taissa was standing on the end. "Taissa," she said sincerely. "You are beautiful in the eyes of our Lord."

Taissa raised her eyebrows. Laura Lee didn't seem to notice.

"Van," she moved down the line. "You are beautiful in the-"

"Oh, my God!" Lottie groaned, turning towards her.

Jackie seemed to sense that had been a bad call. "Okay, Laura Lee, fall back. Fuck. Okay. I'll go first." She went over to Taissa, who was clearly trying really hard not to roll her eyes again.

"Taissa Turner," her voice was soft and honest. Taissa looked uncomfortable. "You have more fight in you than anyone I've ever known. I'm inspired by your determination."

Then, she moved down the line. "Vanessa Palmer." Van smiled sarcastically. "Your smile makes me feel happy every time I see it."

Van looked embarrassed, smiling mildly at Jackie.

"Laura Lee," Jackie took a deep breath in. "I truly admire your faith." Laura Lee seemed very pleased by this.

"Nat," the other girls were loosening up, and Jackie looked a little more confident. "I love that you don't care what anybody thinks. And that you're so completely yourself."

"She's also deadly at beer pong," Van agreed.

Jackie seemed ecstatic at the fact that they were getting it now. "So, go on! Tell her! Come on guys."

She stepped off and attempted to retreat. Lorraine didn't let her. "Jackie," she said. Jackie seemed surprised that any of them wanted to talk to her. "You believe in us more than anyone, and that makes me want to do better."

Jackie smiled warmly at her. "Lorraine, you give every part of yourself to other people. We see it, thank you."

"This is gross," Lorraine hid her smile in Laura Lee's water cup.

"Lorraine!" The girl spun around, Natalie calling out her name far too loudly considering how close together they were.

"Nat," Lorraine looked at her, bemused.

Natalie looked at her with a faraway gaze. "You have a halo," she said wonderfully, looking over her head. "It's pretty."

Lorraine didn't know what it was, the way Nat said it with such conviction, the fact that her eyes shone like she was in fact looking at a silver halo above her head, or the half a bottle of vodka Lorraine had downed on a completely empty stomach, but something in her truly believed it.

────────── ⋆˚✿˖° author's note
still not at the plane yet i know i know </3 i got called a professional waffler because i am literally allergic to shutting the fuck up, but i promise that they will be on the plane next chapter promise <333

this is the second party chapter i've written this week rip but i do hope you enjoyed it this took a whole week to write with everything in it and also i have been so disgustingly busy recently that's my bad but i missed lorrie a lot

i love this scene it's sooooo teenage girl core like they're fighting and they like each other and they all respect each other but they hate each other like the writers knew what they were doing with the party scene anyway like i said it's almost crash time promise <333