Ariana's Point Of View ~

Michael & Ariana's Home | Los Angeles, California

Aren't butterflies such beautiful creatures?

But to start their lives they must wait for their wings, they must wait for their beauty.

The one I look at now sports the usual colours of orange, white and black. But still so lovely. I watch it from a distance. I see it flutter gracefully here and there. Landing on flowers that are big enough to welcome such a graceful species. It makes me smile . . among other things.

Michael is set to call me.

And at any given moment.

I can't wait to hear from him, as usual. I can't wait to hear his voice, to see his face even if it is only through the screen of my phone. It's still something. I wait in nothing but pure anticipation of how his first show went. I'm calling it now - Michael smashed it. It's not necessarily news to me as I already know just how talented Michael is . . but I still love to hear it. The way he speaks about the feeling he always gets inside him when he first steps out onto the stage on show night. The sound of his fans screaming out his name, the lights, and not to mention the way the music makes him feel. He tells me it all just feels like magic. The stage causes true feelings of euphoria, he says.

And it makes me so happy.

. . because I know that it makes him so happy.

And that's all I want for him. Michael is such a gift to this world. And he deserves nothing but happiness. My coffee rolls down my throat gracefully while it's caffeine smell engulfs my nostrils immediately as I hold the now cozy temperate mug right under my nose. My mind of course has to wonder - how can it not? I told them . . the media, that is. I told them that they talk way too much about Michael and I, and our relationship. But that will never stop them. They fuck with Michael's happiness and it breaks my heart. They speak about me but it's never as bad as what they say about Michael.

What they say about his skin.

How he doesn't want to be black.

How fucking dare they! They are so heartless.

I could cry, but I chose not to. Because I wish much more to remain in a state of euphoria. So I continue to keep a watchful eye on this butterfly. I see it still sit upon it's chosen flower and the beauty it brings from such a simple act. It slowly opens and closes it's wings. It looks so peaceful. Just like nothing or no one will cause stress to such a beautiful insect that we are lucky to have even exist. Minutes pass by and yet, this butterfly still sits upon the flower. Gathering as much nectar before moving on. The sun shining right onto it, causing the butterflies already bright colour of orange to change to a divine shade of amber.

You could call the sight captivating.

Just like Michael.

My eyes sparkle from his name and my lips can't help but form a smile. Making the decision to, for now, let go of what the media has had to say.

Another sip of coffee. Then, I take a whisper of a deep breath and all still keeping an eye upon this butterfly that seems to have grabbed my complete attention.

Today is a day that I am actually just at home. A day off, if you will. I don't wish to leave our home nor do I even have a plan today. So I am going to sit here and drink my coffee while I just allow my mind to take over. The extra large hoodie I wear isn't necessarily to keep me warm as it's just a habit that I continue to wear it as often as I can. No ponytail as my hair is down today. I can't help but giggle as I know that a simple choice for me to wear my hair not in a ponytail, leaving it down and not styled, would make the front page if the paparazzi was given the chance to photograph me right now.

Another deep breath. This one with a bit more energy. But it's not from stress, but the opposite of course. Given my current location and carefree situation. Finally - I take my eyes off the butterfly. To look up at the sky. It glows a mix of pink and purple as the sun rises.

So beautiful.

I'm left at peace from the sight alone but, sad, as I can't help but miss Michael so much . . wishing so badly I could be seeing such a lovely sight with him next to me. The wind blows a gentle breeze into my face, causing my brunette locks to almost dance. Instead of the media, I think about Michael and count down the days until I have him back with me.

It's been tough. Being away from someone for so long. It's not exactly something you get used to doing. But doing what we do, being who we are . . it's just all part of it, really.

I do hate it - to wake up alone more than in Michael's company. I'll never seem to not get sad as I look over at Michael's side of the bed each morning I open my eyes, knowing that when the sun goes down by the end of yet another day like today . . he still won't be laying down beside me. But we make it work. That's just what you have to do when you love someone so much - you just make it work.

The wind continues to blow a beautiful, soft gush all around me. Mmm, it almost sounds like a hum. It makes me want to join in. To hum along with the wind and . . sing. Michael's smile burns into my mind. And it just falls right out of me.

"I've never been so caught up . . "

"Still so into us . . "

"I'd never thought I'd be here . . "

"Should've turned to dust . . "

"Ooh . . "

"Let's be honest, baby . . "

"This is so unusual . . "

"Ooh . . "

"I'm not tempted, baby . . "

"Even if they're beautiful . . "

I close my eyes. These lyrics seeming to have come from nowhere yet still caused by someone that always has my heart - even though we aren't side by side.

"I used to be cautious . . "

"A little too reckless . . "

"Now all my emotions are all cause of you . . "

"I ain't even think of leaving sometimes . . "

"I don't even think of letting go . . "

"I ain't ever thought of going nowhere . . "

"I don't even see it down the road . . "

My dimple showing as I can't help but smile as I sing.

"Cause we're collecting moments . . "

"Tattoos on my mind . . "

"I ain't even think of leaving sometimes . . "

"I ain't even think of letting go . . "

"Not even sometimes . . "

My head snaps back towards the butterfly as from the corner of my eyes, I see it lift itself off the flower and back into the air so easily. For then it's wings that are full of orange to flutter, before it flies into the direction it so wishes. I smile as I watch. Once again feeling the full emotion of euphoria. But now, the butterfly that I have non-stop spoken about is finally out of sight, but not necessarily out of mind. The feeling of happiness is still inside me from the sight of the beauty that was that butterfly, however, it's the name that appears on my phone that causes that feeling to be dangerously ignited into a genuine and extremely deep rush of pure happiness. The lyrics I just sang come back into my head as I look down deliriously happy at Michael's name on the screen. 

A new song that once more has Michael as my inspiration. I appear to have lost count now at the number of songs that hold him as the source. I press accept, showing his face. 

Gotta love FaceTime. 

"Hi Ari. How's my girl? . . " Michael asks, with a smile. 

But it seems to be my smile that Michael is taking notice of. 

"Such a beautiful smile. Smiling from ear to ear too . . " He adds. 

"Hey baby. I'm amazing. Just so happy to see you . . " 

I tell him with a slight shrug of my shoulder. 

"Keep smiling, so beautiful . . " Michael tells me sweetly. 

https://youtu.be/-5CrzNLx_DM

to be continued.