Michael's Point Of View ~

'Bad' Tour Rehearsal | New York

"I love it. It all sounds so great . . "

It's a very joyful exchange as I wanted to once more witness these very talented singers and musicians that will be joining me on stage tonight. The tap of my loafer against the stage floor begins to echo out for everyone to hear. My head bobbing slightly and the snap of my fingers as I watch and most importantly, listen. "I love their rhythm, Andy . . ". I say with a smile as I'm doing all these things. Andy just laughs - watching me being me. He always says that when I can never help myself but to break out into some kind of man-made musical eruption.

I am stunned as I hear applause by a not yet known group of people. I turn around to face them, confused . . but still smiling at each and every one of them. My obvious muddled complexion is more than enough to prompt Andy to intervene and make the introductions.

"Now Mike, I know I said you would meet them all tonight at the show . . "

"But plans have changed. Because here they all are for you to meet right now and perhaps get a rehearsal of a song . . or two in . . "

I say nothing. I'm still shocked.

"They can leave and come back tonight like originally planned, Mike? . . "

No. I am over the moon. Don't let them leave. Let them stay, I say. Because I have felt so restless as I have been too excited to meet such talented people. I come back to my senses, snapping out of my state of shock. My loafers tap loudly on top of the stage and my hand immediately reaches out to introduce myself as I walk towards where they stand.

"Hi. I'm Michael Jackson . . "

All I see is smiles. I hope they are excited as much as I am. I hear them say things like 'I am a huge fan' and 'it's an absolute honour, Mr Jackson'.

"Please call me Michael . . "

I tell them all, returning the smile.

Jennifer, one of the guitarists, speaks on behalf of the group. "Thank you for having us, Mr Jack- I mean Michael . . "

I can't help but to chuckle slightly as she corrects herself. They don't know do they? They appear to have no idea that I am the one that is thankful. So, I know I must let them know the truth.

"It goes both ways. I can't take credit for all of this. Thank you all for being here with me . . "

Andy's voice is suddenly heard throughout the arena as he speaks into a microphone that was provided for him. "Which song to rehearse first, Mike? . . ". The question stays with me, sitting in my mind but not for too long as almost immediately I can hear the instrumental of the song I wish to firstly focus on. With everything set up and everyone in position - it begins.

Rehearsal for my 'Bad' tour is underway. And I can't wait. It's great to be back onstage.

My fingers wrap tightly around my microphone as if someone will at any minute, snatch it away from me. I have so many ideas about what I wish to bring to this very special tour. The lighting, the effects because as for the possibilities . . well, they are indeed endless. But right now, it's all about keeping things simple. I speak into the microphone and to my backup singers more than anyone else.

"Okay. Billie Jean . . "

"I want you guys to really feel the music, to really feel the beat and to just put your best voice forward . . ".

I'm not putting them down. Not at all. I just want them to feel the music just like I do. Because to me, they are the stars here . . not me. And I want each of them to shine as bright as possible at tonights show. My loafer taps loudly on the stage floor as I can't help but sing a snippet to them.

https://youtu.be/oTPuskWmd3o

"Billie Jean is not my lover . . "

"She's just a girl who claims that I am the one . . "

"Oh babeee . . "

"But the kid is not my son . . "

It just makes me want to dance. I won't lie. I wish I could. But I must wait until tonight. Not too long to wait but it still feels like a lifetime away. They all nod their heads, looking at me. "Sing it with passion, allow the song to speak to you . . ". I tell them all softly. They show so much enthusiasm and I love to see that. It's a great sign that they will take in this information, follow suit, and deliver these feelings during tonight's first show and the many others to come. We don't rush but take our time. With each song - it's rehearsed from start to finish and if I feel the need, stop here and there to either add something extra or if the song itself just needs that little bit more care.

_______________________

'Bad' Tour Show Night | New York

I look into the mirror.

With the make-up sponge, I dap it onto my forehead before stepping back to look at myself. Vitiligo evened out - for now. The roar of the crowd echo's throughout my ears, it's so loud that it feels as though this entire arena will collapse at any moment.

"Okay. It's almost time . . "

I whisper to myself. I take a deep breath. But not one from nerves as there isn't a shred inside me. Instead it's all excitement - I can't wait to get on stage. A knock on my dressing room door followed by a voice that I already know belongs to  Arthur speaks from the other side. "Ready when you are, Mr Jackson . . ". I can't help but to smile to myself.

"It's showtime, Jackson . . "

My voice still a whisper. I don't hesitate. My feet know that dancing is on the horizon, so they take me to the closed door at once. The door flying open as soon as my hand lands onto the door knob. "The king is walking . . ". Arthur says into his ear piece upon vision of me, walking behind me. My backup dancers and I waste no time getting into position as the first song on the agenda is in fact a song from my previous album - 'Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'. The corner of my eye spot Frank walking towards me.

"Ready, Mike? . . " He asks me.

I smile. "I was born ready . . "

It's silent.

https://youtu.be/L3bJro_LP7E

Until the clanging of the stage is heard. It's this sound alone that causes the crowd to roar even more. I hope they are excited as much as I am. The sight of smoke blanketing the stage is queue for us to move, onto the stage and now in view of my fans. As I stand here, I can see the waving of many arms as they hope to grab my attention and on the occasion hearing sweet words like 'I love you' come from many mouths. It's reactions like this where I feel utterly grateful.

It's just so great to be back on stage.

With a quick moment of my arm, it tells drummer Rick to bang-bang-bang on those drums. And just like that, the song begins and therefore the show has started. The last of the stage fog subsides to reveal myself fully. My fans would say in all my glory but I can't help but to disagree - I'm just simply Michael Jackson. I look around as I unbuckle my light but to the naked eye, bulky jacket. Immediately feeling the music run from my feet up to a single strand of a curl upon my head. I dance. I'm so ready. I grab the microphone stand with love and just pure determination to get my hands on it, as if it's Ariana . . and I sing.

"I said you wanna be startin' somethin' . . "

"You got to be startin' somethin' . . "

"I said you wanna be startin' somethin' . . "

"You got to be startin' somethin' . . "

My hand rips the microphone from the security of it's holster now, not wanting to stand still any longer. So, I leave the stand behind and make my way to as front of the stage as possible.

"It's too high to get over . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Too low to get under . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"You're stuck in the middle . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"And the pain is thunder . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"It's too high to get over . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Too low to get under . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"You're stuck in the middle . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"And the pain is thunder . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"I took my baby to the doctor . . "

"With a fever, but nothin' he found . . "

"By the time this hit the street . . "

"They said she has a breakdown . . "

I position myself in-between only two of my backup dancers. It's with a jolt of our shoulder, slight bend of our knees and an almost fist pump done to the side of us using only one hand. It's a move that is done as we all follow the music, matching the beat. I stand up straight, facing the crowd once more. Hmm standing up straight - but never still.

God, I love this. I feel so alive.

"Someone's always tryin' . . "

"To start my baby cryin' . . "

"Talkin', squealin', lyin' . . "

"Sayin' you just want to be startin' somethin' . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"You got to be- . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"I said you wanna be- . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"You got to be- . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"It's too high to get over . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Too low to get under . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"You're stuck in the middle . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"And the pain is thunder . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Too high to get over . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Too low to get under . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"You're stuck in the middle . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"And the pain is thunder . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Billie Jean is always talkin' . . "

"When nobody else is talkin' . . "

"Tellin' lies and rubbin' shoulders . . "

"So they called her mouth a motor . . "

"Someone's always- . . "

"(Tryin') . . "

"To start my baby- . . "

"(Cryin') . . "

"Talkin', squealin'- . . "

"(Lyin') . . "

"Now baby's slowly dyin' . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"Hee! You got to be- . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"I said you wanna be- . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"You got to be- . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"Too high to get over . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Too low to get under . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Your stuck in the middle . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"And the pain is thunder . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Too high to get over . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Too low to get under . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Your stuck in the middle . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"And the pain is thunder . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"You're a vegetable . . "

"(You're a vegetable) . . "

"You're a vegetable . . "

"(You're a vegetable) . . "

"Still they hate you . . "

"(Still they hate you) . . "

"(You're a vegetable) . . "

"You're a vegetable . . "

"You're a vegetable, aaow! . . "

The music echo's through me. Then, comes the guitar solo. Ad libing but still dancing with the choreography from rehearsal. How do I explain how I'm feeling in this moment? . . I can't. It's that simple. I could say things like I'm utterly and completely feeling the music and allowing it to speak to me . . but in this moment when I'm allowed to just dance - it doesn't seem like enough.

Almost like justice hasn't quite been served.

All four of my backup dancers follow suit, making our way towards the right hand side of the stage. Striking a pose - each one different from the last. Right leg, left leg before we stop.

Standing still.

As I stand, I try to catch my breath for I know I only have a matter of a mere few seconds before I once again must move. The touch of brisk that the breeze brings from this New York evening is actually to me, very pleasant. Closing my eyes to savour it before I open them up again. My hands grab hold of my jacket to pull it down and off my shoulders.

I look around.

The sound of the crowd cheering as I do so.

And in the blink of an eye, my jacket returning to sit securely back onto my shoulders.

"If you can't feed your baby . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Then don't have a baby . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"And don't think maybe . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"If you can't feed your baby . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"You'll be always- . . "

"(Tryin') . . "

"To stop that child from- . . "

"(Cryin') . . "

"Talkin', squealin'- . . "

"(Lyin') . . "

"Now baby's slowly dyin' . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"You got to be- . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"I said you wanna be- . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"You got to be- . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"Too high to get over . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Too low to get under . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Your stuck in the middle . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"And the pain is thunder . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Too high to get over . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Too low to get under . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Your stuck in the middle . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"And the pain is thunder . . "

"(Yeah, yeah) . . "

"Lift your head up high . . "

"And scream out to the world . . "

"I know I am someone . . "

"And let the truth unfurl . . "

"No one can hurt you now . . "

"Because you know it's true . . "

"Yes, I believe in me . . "

"So do you believe in you? . . "

"Help me sing it! . . "

Let me dance. Just let me dance again.

I spin.

"(Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa) . . "

"(Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa) . . "

"(Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa) . . "

"Hee-hee-hee! . . "

"(Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa) . . "

"Yeah . . oh! . . "

"Sing it to the world! . . "

"Sing it all night long! . . "

"Whoo-hoo! . . "

All lined up, we stand side by side.

"(Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa) . . "

"(Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa) . . "

"Yeah. Sing it to the world . . "

"Sing it all night long. Woo-hoo! . . "

"(Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa) . . "

"Come on baby. You wanna parrrtayy . . "

"Hee-hee. Aaow! . . "

"(Ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa) . . "

"Sing it to the world. Sing it to yourself . . "

"Yeah . . " I sing huskily.

"I said you wanna be- . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"You got to be- . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"I said you wanna be- . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

"You got to be- . . "

"(Startin' somethin') . . "

The lights go out. Everything is now black. This isn't ideal for a long period of time of course, however it's the cover I need to get myself ready for the next song. Now masked by the darkness, I stand alone as each backup dancer retreats from my side, for their incredible sense of rhythm isn't needed for this particular song. This performance is one that is solo, yet upbeat and hopefully makes the crowd wish to just dance along with me.

The crowd cheering, still.

A single spotlight.

Revealing me once again.

https://youtu.be/71XpqhtnNiA

I walk a step or two forward before smashing the heel of my left loafer against the hard stage causing a sound that I wish to echo throughout the stadium. With a handful of these, Rick is right on cue - banging on the drums to match me. Some would say it's nothing but gibberish coming from my mouth in this moment . . I would have to say they are simply wrong.

"I think I wanna rock! . . "

I exclaim in the microphone.

'Rock With You' plays as I happily walk over to the left side of the stage. I lift up my arm, looking out to the sea of people that is my fans. "Rock with you . . ". I wear the biggest of smiles and the energy I feel I hope can never, ever be denied.

Just so happy to be back.

"Aaow! . . " I always have to throw in.

"Girl, close your eyes . . "

"Let the rhythm get into you . . "

My feet always moving and my fingers can't help themselves but to snap together.

"Don't try to fight it . . "

"There ain't nothing that you can do . . "

"Just relax your mind . . "

"Lay back and groove with mine . . "

"You gotta feel that heat . . "

"And we can ride the boogie . . "

"Share that beat of love . . "

"I wanna rock with you . . "

"(All night) . . "

"Dance you into day . . "

"(Sunlight) . . "

"I wanna rock with you . . "

"(All night) . . "

"We're gonna rock the night away . .

"Out on the floor . . "

"There ain't nobody there but us . . "

It's only Ariana and I.

"Girl, when you dance . . "

"There's a magic that must be love . . "

"Just take it slow, girl . . "

"Cause we got so far to go . . "

"When you feel that heat . . "

"(Share that beat of love) . . "

I don't wish to be the only one singing. I love inviting my fans to join in too.

"Everybody! . . "

I shout into the microphone, as my hand gestures them to sing along with me.

"I wanna- . . "

"(All night) . . "

"Dance you into day . . "

"(Sunlight) . . "

"I wanna rock with you, girl . . "

"(All night) . . "

"We're gonna rock the niiight away . . "

"And when the groove is dead and gone . . "

"Everybody sing! . . " I say again.

"You know that- . . "

"(Love survives to rock forever on) . . "

No words. No choreography. I just dance. Allowing my body to move in any which way it pleases.

"(I wanna rock with you) . . "

"(I wanna groove with you) . . "

"All night long, rock with me . . "

"Hee-hee! Aaow . . "

"(I wanna rock with you) . . "

"(I wanna groove with you) . . "

"I wanna rocccckkk . . "

"(All night) . . "

"With you, girl . . "

"(Sunlight) . . "

"Rock with you! Rock with you, girl! . . "

"(All night) . . "

"We're gonna dance the niiiiighhttt away . . "

"I wanna rock with you . . "

"(All night) . . "

"Rock you into day . . "

"(Sunlight) . . "

"I wanna rock with you, girl . . "

"(All night) . . "

"We're gonna- . . "

"Feel the beat. Go with the beat! . . "

"Hee! Rock you into day . . "

"I wanna rooccccckkkkk, girl . . "

"(All night) . . "

"I wanna rock with you . . "

The music slows down and my backup singers cease. It's almost as if I'm just talking now.

"Come on, girl . . "

"Rock with me til the mornin' . . "

"Hee! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! . . "

But then Rick comes back in. As I rise my body back up, his drums match up - getting that little bit faster and faster as the song is so close to be performed fully. With my head falling back and both my arms lifted into the air . . that's a wrap.

Frank with me as I leave a once more lightless stage. My dressing room not at all far away. I dap the white towel that a hand of a backstage crew member has generously given to me, along with a bottle of water which I can't help but to take a few sips from before I must return. The clock ticking, giving me not long at all.

As I feast my eyes upon the blue of the shirt, the white sash and black pants . . it's a look that makes me think of Ariana. After all, she was on set for this short film. I bite my lip as her presence alone was enough to make me happy for all time - an unannounced arrival but an extremely ecstatic one, and not to mention the downcast caused by her departure.

I won't lie . . it does take a toll.

The travelling, most of all.

It isn't easy. How can it be? To be separated from the one person that means everything to you. That once your finally reunited, before you know it, you must leave again. It feels as though your a new mother that's being ripped apart from your new born child - it's heart wrenching.

"Come on, Mike! . . "

I hear his voice say from the other side of the door as I continue to dap the last bit of sweat from my face. The smell of smoke can't help but cause my eyes to roll. Does he ever stop? I could answer him. But I don't acknowledge, instead, I continue to get changed. Buttoning up only the last button as I whisper the songs lyrics to myself while having one girl in my mind as I do so.

"Hey, pretty baby with the high heels on . . "

"Hmm . . just kiss me Ari and tell me twice . . "

"That you're the one for me . . "

I look at myself in the mirror, taking a final look at my entire persona before heading out towards the stage. "Ari is the one for me . . ". I whisper to myself as I picture her face, wishing so badly that she was here.

My eyes wonder down to my chest. Seeing only the slightest sign of my dreaded vitiligo. But it's my hand that makes me see the full extent of my skin as it moves away the white shirt that I wear underneath the infamous blue one. A slight sign- . . pft, please allow me to correct myself for I see a much more bigger splotch than at first glance. In a state of panic, I grab a make-up sponge and dap it there repeatedly before of course, saturating it in make-up. Suppose all that sweating must of let it almost wash away the make-up previously applied.

I take a deep breath.

Because it's covered again. Thank goodness.

I grab hold of the door handle, swinging it up. Yet I don't see Frank, but Tatiana. Someone I wasn't expecting to see until at least mid song.

"Hi Michael . . "

She says with a smile. I don't stop, I can't. Walking towards the stage with Tatiana close behind me. Why is she waiting outside my dressing room? Outside my backstage door and who even gave her permission to stand there? I guess she just has such great prestige for me.

"Tatiana. Hi . . "

Her face beaming as I look at her. She walks just a little bit behind me, throwing in a little run here and there. She speaks to me but I fail to hear her over the screams of the crowd as we approach one of many entries to the stage via being behind the scenes.

"I do apologise but I'm needed on stage right now. But I'll see you very soon . . "

I walk over to the microphone stand that I know will be there. The crowd screams even louder as they appear to have spotted me despite the darkness. I stand right in front of the stand, belting out the first line that will get this song going.

"You knock me off my feet now baby! . . "

Hoooo! . . "

The stage - it's lit up and alive once more. The songs instrumental of course making me dance.

"Hey, pretty baby with the high heels on . . "

"You give me fever like I've never ever known . . "

"You're just a product of loveliness . . "

"I like the groove of your walk, your talk, your dress . . "

"I feel your fever from miles around . . "

"I'll pick you up in my car and we'll paint the town . . "

"Just kiss me baby and tell me twice . .

"That you're the one for me . . "

"The way you make me feel . . "

"(The way you make me feel) . . "

"You really turn me on . . "

"(You really turn me on) . . "

"You knock me off of my feet . . "

"(You knock me off of my feet) . . "

"My lonely days are gone . . "

"(My lonely days are gone) . . "

"Oooh . . "

From the corner of my eye, I see Tatiana. Walking on stage as she wears that black dress yet again.

https://youtu.be/byRMhU-mTlg

________________________

2 hours later.

"I love you, New York! . . "

I blow the crowd a kiss before walking off. The view of another white towel that I know will be given to me makes me feel as if I'm a child in a candy store. So happy to see it. But this time, it's Arthur that passes it my way. "Thank you, Arthur . . ". I say to him, an out of breath tone in my voice as I immediately begin to dab my face with it before letting it rest over my shoulders. The thin white shirt I wear is ripped open, allowing even more relief as the breeze hits my exposed skin.

"An amazing show, Mr Jackson . . "

"Thank you, Arthur . . "

After the seemingly endless amount of stairs - my waiting car is in view now. Upon this image, I remove the towel and pass it back to Arthur for him to dispose of. Taking it from me before his hand aims for the door handle as he, of course, wishes to open it on my behalf.

But I stop him gently, with a tired smile.

"All good, Arthur. I got the door. Could you please find Frank for me? . . "

"Right away, Mr Jackson . . "

He walks off. Talking into his ear piece, asking if anyone knows or has possibly seen Frank wondering around.

"Mike! Wow - just amazing! . . "

My hand grabs a tight hold on the car door handle. But just as I'm about to turn to open, I hear this voice. I look to my left to see that it's Andy. So happy to see him. "All because of you . . ". I tell him. It's true. I can't take all the credit. A short exchange between us with Andy coming to me to give me a hug "See you at the next one . . ". He says, pointing a finger at me and raising an eyebrow. A smirk on his face too.

Company has now passed.

And the click of the door becoming unlocked is such a blessing to hear. I go to slide into the car, but stop when I see . . legs? Who is this person? To fill my curiosity, I lean down to look inside the car as I want the mystery of this individual to be identified and therefore - solved.

. . Tatiana?

What is she doing in my waiting car?

to be continued.