Ariana's Point Of View ~

'Focus' Set | Los Angeles, California

"Mmmhmm focus on me. F-f- focus on me . . "

I can't help but sing softly to myself as we break yet again. This song is brand new. It's fun but also says to the world that what they say about me, won't ever hold me down. And it hopefully just makes you sing and dance along with me. Filming today has been insane but already having the first verse done and dusted and it's a great feeling in itself.

Closer to getting home.

Closer to getting home to Michael.

I didn't see him this morning. I hope he's okay. He has been somewhat . . distant? lately. I could be over thinking it. Ha! It's a soft chuckle that seems to have escaped my lips as it sounds like something I would do. The reality of my phone becoming within my grasp in a matter of seconds as I so desperately desire to speak with him invades my mind. But I reframe, knowing that Michael, like me, is in fact working and I do not wish to disturb him.

It's just that, Michael has never done that.

For he always kisses me goodbye before he steps out the door if I'm still home, asleep or not. And I wasn't as I was only a mere few minutes behind him. I pray that Michael is okay. Perhaps he just wasn't thinking, walking out the door and not even realising he didn't come up and say goodbye like always . . no kiss . . nothing at all. Is it to do with that bottle? Ugh, I have tried to shake it off but now that I have found them, I cant. There is no way as that dreaded bottle of sleeping tablets that I found a few weeks ago is instilled in my mind.

His name printed on them.

Indicating to him, when to take them and even how many.

This is why I am so worried about his insomnia. I was worried before finding those tables, but now - it's leaving me terrified. Terrified . . yes. There isn't any other word I can think of using to describe my feelings. I haven't said anything about it to him yet as I haven't wanted to upset him.

Michael doesn't even know I have found them.

But maybe that's why I missed him this morning. Maybe his insomnia is making him forget . . maybe those tablets even are to blame for his sudden change of tradition. What else could it be? A flock of butterflies fill up my stomach, from fear, this time. Heart pounding out of my chest almost.

It's the idea of him taking such things.

It kills me. Michael . .

. . please, let me help you.

Scott, one of my back up dancers suddenly appears in front of me and out of nowhere. Causing my eyes to blink rapidly and a laugh that is mixed with shock and fright. I giggle as I know it's all in good fun when it comes to Scott. We have been friends for a few years now but nothing ever more than that. "You all good? . . " Scott asks me after he stops chuckling from my reaction of his unforeseen entrance. I must put Michael to the back of my mind.

The click-clack sound of my heels appears to echo as Scott and I walk the short distance to once again be back onto the heart of set. The theme - purple. Filled with both close ups and full body shots.

Verse 2.

I enter a seemingly small space - a box. It's purple walls surround me entirely as I get ready, and before I know it .. we begin to film.

"I can tell you're curious . . "

"It's written on your lips . . "

"Ain't no need to hold it back . . "

"Go head and talk your shit . . "

"I know you're hoping that I'll react . . "

"I know you're hoping I'm looking back . . "

"But if my real ain't real enough . . "

"Then I don't know what is heyy yeah . . "

"Let's find a light inside our universe now . . "

"Where ain't nobody keep on holding us down . . " 

"Just come and get it let them say what they say . . "

"Cause I'm about to put them all away . . "

Along with the filming of the first verse, it's the first dancing scene that is also complete. It's nothing special . . well, nothing compared to what Michael is doing in his short films. For me, dancing is just for the fun of it as it's a chance to move the body in ways you never normally would in everyday life. To swirl and twirl around while keeping perfect sync with others and let's not forget the fun and games that choreography brings even before we step foot onto a set.

But for Michael . . man, it's what he was born to do.

With all of that now said that it's done. I look back towards the camera only needing to say a little something else before we call cut.

"One, two, three .. come on, girls . . "

"And cut! Awesome Ariana . . "

That's all it takes. One take. But the day isn't yet at an end for one more scene is to then bring us to wrapping up what a crazy day today has been. I scamper off set in the blink of an eye, not really wanting any small talk in between now and home time, as Michael is constantly flooding my mind entirely. Scott with me too as my dressing room is nearby.

Thank goodness.

Let's just get this over and done with please.

I see stars. And I'm not looking out no window. Stars - on my final outfit, that is, and not to be witnessed dotted all over the night sky. I change into it as fast as I can as I once again fight the urge to grab hold of my phone. Michael is busy, so busy and who knows . . he may not even answer his phone because of that very reason. I brush it off again, I have to. Ugh. I just want this day done as my mind can't help but focus on Michael. With the stars now on my being and my make-up touched up, I make my way back towards the set that within the moments I took away to get changed, has suddenly been transformed into a spacious mass with it's vastness much more breathable, you could say, then what I was previously shooting in earlier.

I stand right in the centre. My female back up dancers match my stars but instead wear tights and not a skirt, like me. They stand on either side of me. A straight line as we all simply wait with the sound of a trumpet that prompts us to move, one at a time before we dance in complete and utter sync.

"Hey! . . "

"You know I like it . . "

"Hey! . . "

"(Focus on me) . . "

"Come on now . . "

"Now! . . "

"(Focus on me) . . "

"Oh oh oh oh, aaay  . . "

"Let's find a light inside our universe now . . "

"Where ain't nobody keep on holding us down . . "
"(They can't keep on holding us down) . . "

"Just come and get it let them say what they say . . "

"Cause I'm about to put them all away . . "

"(Focus on me) . . "

"(F-f-focus on me) . . "

"You know I like it when you focus on me . . "

"(Focus on me) . . "

"F-f-focus on me, woo! . . "

"(Focus on me) . . "

"Focus . . "

"Whoa, oh hey . . "

"Focus on me . . "

"(Focus on me) . . "

"Focus . . "

"(F-f-focus on me) . . "

"Naaa naaa ah . . "

The sound of the trumpet come back yet again. Dancing and smiling even though my mind seems to elsewhere.

"(F-f-focus on me) . . "

"Focus on me . . "

"(Woo!) . . "

"(Focus on me) . . "

"(F-f-focus on me) . . "

"Focus on me . . "

"Onnnn meee . . "

"(Focus on me) . . "

"Focus . . "

"(F-f-focus on me) . . "

"Focus on me . . "

"(Woo!) . . "

"(Focus on me) . . "

"Focus . . "

"(F-f-focus on me) . . "

"Focus on meee, babe . . "

to be continued.

https://youtu.be/lf_wVfwpfp8