Michael's Point Of View ~

American Music Awards | Los Angeles, California

"Michael! Ariana! Look here! . . "

"Look to your left, your left! . . "

"Michael! Give her a big kiss . . "

My arm around Ariana's waist. The camera's flash, voices coming from the left, the right, and everywhere in-between. It's sad to say - but I'm used to it. We both are. They say things. Ugh. Silly things and for what? I lean down to plant a kiss on her cheek, not because they said to kiss her, but because I just love my girl and want to show it here and there. And they are right on cue . . on sight, the camera's begin to flash endlessly it seems as they take as many photos within that small moment in hopes of capturing that one perfect picture.

"Michael, kiss her again . . "

"Michael, Ariana look over here! . . "

They all continue to shout at us. I take Ariana's hand for us to continue walking down the red carpet to then finally get inside to find our seats. I'm wearing a blue sparkle military jacket with a gold sash from my right shoulder to my left hip. Black pants, glitter white socks and not forgetting that white glitter glove. Hmm, it has suddenly become an 'iconic' piece as my fans call it. My sunglasses conceal the bright flashes of the cameras.

I turn around to look back at Ariana.

And well, as for Ariana. She looks beautiful.

Absolutely amazing. But I feel no word even comes close to matching how I think she looks. A white gown with silver mesh along with white heels and a clutch to match. My hand lets go of hers to allow Ariana to have photos of just her while I stand back. We are a couple, but we are also our own people. And she does it - alone but owning every move she makes. Posing and looking at the many cameras around her. I can't help but smile. She looks so happy, so cute . . I love her so much. I watch as she turns to look over her shoulder with a simple but very elegant stance that I feel she always possess.

A smile on her face.

She puts a hand up to the cameras so I walk towards her slowly. My hand held up before I hold it out towards Ariana. She takes it and we continue on before we step foot inside where the award ceremony will take place. Our seats found - right at the front. As for the public, well they aren't exactly forbidden to witness this ceremony. Having the chance to have a glimpse of their most loved celebrity as they all sit high in the seating area above. Even though we are now away from the cameras of the paparazzi, the dreaded media, I can't shake that I still feel so many eyes are still on Ariana and I.

Everyone here gazed in our direction.

It doesn't take long for all the lights to go dim. The opening music playing, the large curtain that shows the stage opens. To start with, it begins with a live stage performance by one of my dear friends, Lionel Richie, singing his song 'All Night Long'.

And of course, I can't help but to clap along. Bobbing my head too. Ariana giggles, doing the same as she knows my strong friendship with him. It's a fantastic performance I must say . . lasting around 5 minutes or so with it having a mix of comedy as well as musical brilliance.
The crowd claps as the nights first pair of presenters appear from backstage.

I can't help but to be a little nervous - I am nominated. I hope I win but if I don't . . I won't be too upset as whoever wins each category, deserves it.

But I do feel somewhat positive tonight.

I look around to see many, many different celebrities that are in attendance tonight - with artists that I have worked with, and artists that Ariana has worked with. I see their eyes on me. Some give me a wave with expressions of such excitement, others display shock once their eyes fall onto me.

A loud voice beams throughout the arena.

"Ladies and gentlemen. To read the nominations for 'Best Male Pop Vocal' - it's Stevie Wonder and Cyndi Lauper. The crowd, including Ariana and I applaud as they walk on the stage to then position themselves in front of the microphone stand.

"Ya'll better stop that clapping or your gonna make us think that we are stars . . " Stevie says, jokingly.

He has always been such a joker.

Cyndi laughs too before she speaks. "The nominees for 'Best Pop Vocal Performance - Male' are . . "

Eyes off us finally to land onto the large television screen that is lowered down to float gracefully above the stage. I see fellow artists like Lionel Richie for 'All Night Long', Michael Sembello for 'Manic', Prince for '1999', Billy Joel for 'Uptown Girl' and myself for 'Thriller'.

Okay. This is the moment. It feels it has come around so quickly but oh so slowly.

"And the winner is . . " Stevie says.

Cyndi opens the envelope, but Stevie being Stevie, can't help but to crack yet another joke. "Hang on. Let me see that . . "

Oh Stevie.

Cyndi looks at it before she announces the winner with a smile. "Michael Jackson! . . "

I stand up to receive a kiss from Ariana. Wow. I'm shocked, I truly am. Next I make my way towards the stage to accept this grammy but I shake slightly as I walk . . I just feel incredibly humbled. I make it there to see Cyndi and Stevie standing there with my grammy in hand. A quick peck on the cheek for Cyndi and a hand shake for Stevie, before I let him know I'm right here so I don't startle him in any way. The crowd cheers and I can't help but to gaze down at Ariana.

She smiles, clapping at my win.

"Thank you . . "

I softly say into the microphone. I'm so shy as my nerves still play a part. I wait a few seconds until the crowd ceases their appreciated cheers and claps.

"This is amazing. Thank you so much. Umm. I would like to thank Quincy Jones. My mother and father and my gorgeous girlfriend, Ms Ariana Grande . . "

Was it the mention of Ariana? Because it makes the crowd cheer and clap once again. They are just showing love and so much of it too. As they still cheer, I can't help but to just stare at her. I blow a kiss to her and she does the same.

"And I would like to thank my fans. I love you, thank you . . "

I say softly into the microphone.

I make it backstage. My heart racing, it's a mix of nerves and disbelief for just winning a grammy for my own vocals - crazy. It's something that I didn't ask for, something I didn't even know I possessed until I was at the age of five years old. A god given gift that was given to me. My head mentally hangs down as I think about it - a god given gift given to me that isn't a gift, but much more of a curse. But I can't let it get me down. I wish I didn't have this, but I can control it, for now anyways . . my vitiligo. Despite this, I have always felt so blessed, forever and always.

A see a large table and then a women dressed in her black tie. Her hands gracefully hovers over this table as I feel she is about the explain it's purpose.

"Mr Jackson. On this table is where all the grammy's will be placed - kept safe for all our winners until the end of the night . . "

She tells me with a smile. I give my grammy to her with a smile of my own. As it's still very early in the celebration so there is only my grammy that now sits on this table. I thank her before I make my way back to my seat in the audience. Ariana's hand rests upon my thigh then a kiss on my cheek. "So proud of you . . " She whispers into my ear. I giggle as I once again feel so shy.

"Thank you baby . . " I say to her.

She takes my hand before we focus back onto the stage as the ceremony continues. Many other categories are read out, along with winners then announced. I know that large table backstage is definitely filling up now. Next is yet another live music performance. I take this time to just sit and enjoy the show because for this ceremony, I won't be performing.

I was asked.

But I politely declined. A decision that didn't come easy at all. Not wanting to disappoint my fans but I just felt like it was best that I watch this year as future grammy performances won't be too far away. I feel a few hands on my shoulders causing me to turn around in my seat - I see Lionel Richie. He gives me a nod as well as a congratulations under his breath.

Gazed. Even when I'm seated, I see more eyes on us as I look behind me.

The glee on Chris Brown's face as he waves at me and the respected nod of Prince too.

It's over. The crowd claps and a bow taken by the performing artist. The microphone stand is placed back in it's spot, so that the remaining awards and winners are announced with a new pair to present. 

"For 'Record Of The Year' the nominations are . . "

I feel my hands start to shake as I am in fact a nominee. Ariana's soft voice engulfs my ears as she does her best to calm me down. It's just I have worked so hard on this album and to win . . again would be such a blessing.

" . . 'All Night Long' by Lionel Richie, 'Beat It' by Michael Jackson, 'Every Breath You Take' by The Police. 'What A Feeling' by Irene Cara.

The crowd claps hides my worry. Ugh. The suspense.

"And the winner is . . "

" . . 'Beat It' by Michael Jackson . . "

I can't help but smile with the worry immediately leaving me. I stand in front of the crowd once again but I wish to keep this speech of acceptance short and sweet. Oh man, how I hate that my shy self keeps showing itself though.

"Umm . . " I say into the microphone with a giggle.

The fans that sit high above scream my name, clap and yell out that they love me. It's an incredible feeling I must say. "Thank you very much . . " is all I can muster together. And after all, I did want to keep it short and sweet. I walk backstage with yet another grammy in hand. The same women still there to place it safely onto the large table that like I thought, has now many more grammy's that sit upon it. A soft sigh is released from my lips as it's coming to the end of the evening so I feel that I can relax for a few minutes before returning to my seat . . but it's short lived as I already hear the nominations for 'Album Of The Year'.

"And the winner is . . "

I still remain backstage. Listening and waiting.

" . . 'Thriller' by Michael Jackson! . . "

Speechless. Butterflies in my stomach. Heart racing. I won? I won album of the year?! - I can't believe it. Somehow I walk back onto the stage to accept the honour of the night for this grammy will bring my wins tonight alone to eight. Tears in my eyes but my glasses hide this. Thank goodness. I take a minute to gather myself before I speak. I won album of the year . . me. 

"When something like this happens, you want people you love most to be here with you . . " 

"I would like to have Ariana up here with me . . " 

She stands up, hands holding up her dress slightly as she climbs the small amount of stairs that lead up to the stage. Her eyes on the floor before they focus on only me. There's that gorgeous smile again. The crowd cheers as she makes her way towards me. Arms around me in such a loving hug from her. She is amazing. Staring - from thousands on us both. 

Gazed. Now more than ever. 

Ariana right beside me. 

"Wow. This is such an honour. I am so thankful. Thank you so much . . " 

I scurry away, almost. Backstage now. "So damn proud of you, baby . . " Ariana says before she pecks my lips softly. This is it. This is the category that I could only dream of ever winning. And it happened. 

"Mr Jackson, behind you please. . " A photography says. 

He stands behind me, camera at the ready. I take off my glasses as I wish to have this photo taken with not having the feeling of me shying away from it. 

For I want to be shown. 

I want to be seen.

to be continued.