xxv.

"ARE YOU SO SURE THEY WILL LEND THEIR SUPPORT?"

The words burned in Isadora Tremaine's mind, turning her senses to ashes. She was certain if she didn't bar her mind against the words, they would make her eyeballs bleed backwards into her skull.

"I can't say I have ever seen nor heard either of them vouch for a child born from a prostitute."

The Duke of Basingstoke's casual—devious—words kept tearing through her, ablaze with heat as they scalded her ability to focus.

But Isadora Tremaine had spent the entirety of her twenty and two years of life focusing. She focused on everything she wanted to, everything that she could—all while her younger sister shrieked relentlessly in her periphery, her mother demeaned her with every sentence that the woman uttered until Isadora became hard enough to shut it all out. Isa had focused through stinging cheeks in the aftermaths of her mother's blows as a younger girl, she had focused through her mother's lamentations that both humiliated Isadora and her father—on account of the girl bearing the forbidden resemblance to a man who had left them destitute.

The fact was certain and stark. Isa had focused all through her life. She hadn't let things blind her without her permission, she hadn't given such power to anyone or anything.

Perhaps, that was why she stood in her chambers alone, waiting for the man who had put the gorgeous canary diamond ring on her finger, her engagement gown feeling heavier on her than it had since she had put it on.

Isa turned the ring in her finger, watching it through misty eyes as the gentle yellow diamond caught light and reflected it like a shard of spark. The singular chandelier on the ceiling of the grand chambers seemed to shine somberly, as though it had sensed that a sudden light had gone out inside Isadora too.

Lucy had been told to take Archie away on a small walk, while Isadora talked to Zander. The maid had sensed something was wrong, and Isa had wanted to assure her that nothing was wrong. Isa wanted to assure the girl that dreams did come to pass sometimes, even if they didn't formulate the way you wanted them to.

This was Isadora's life, wasn't it? After having Archie, all she had wanted was to marry into wealth that she could protect her son and herself with. Her heart wasn't ever supposed to be in that equation. She had expected to respect her future husband, and love was excused. Isa didn't mind it's absence.

But now she had let love intrude on her desperate dream for security. She had let love take over, and now she was in pain.

For what if this love fell through? What if it wasn't worth all this space in her chest and her being? What if this love fell through?

Isadora had decided to tell Zander what she needed to. She couldn't tell why she had withheld information about Archie from him. Had she done it intentionally, or was it because she believed it didn't matter? Had the two things been felt at the same time?

Because if she would've been clear with from the start, she wouldn't be in this predicament now. Perhaps he wouldn't even have proposed. Perhaps he wouldn't even have invited her to his palace, and at present she would've been at the chateau in Toulouse with none of this hurt enveloping her heart.

If she would've been clear with him, this point in time wouldn't have happened because Zander would've harbored nothing for her or Archie.

Why would a King harbor anything at all for her and a child like Archie-after he knew all the details?

The child of a prostitute. The words ached—slashed like knives in her mind and heart. If such words had been said to her fresh after Ruby Alderidge's death, Isa would've defended her friend with all her might. But now, resignation had set in for Isadora had seen the man Ruby had been with. What else would you call what Ruby had done? What else would you call such a mistake made with such a man? Had the girl been so blind, that she'd lost her right mind?

If Zander found out, it would sully Archie in his eyes. If Queen Ariana found out, she would shirk away in disgust, demanding that such a connection with her son be no longer made.

It was only proper, was it not? Mon Dieu, it was so understandable. Isadora Tremaine wasn't sure she had understood anything in life as much as she would understand the sudden disgust both the Queen mother, and the King of Angria would sport towards her and Archie.

Archie deserved none of the distaste, and Isa had decided she would not stay and let her son catch even an ounce of it on his sweet and unsuspecting, animal loving, free spirited, four year old form.

Suddenly, she heard a stream of a singular person's footsteps in the hallway outside. It was time for her entrance with the King of Angria, and the King had broken away from the ongoing throne room festivities to fetch his bride-to-be for the hour of the engagement had come upon them.

Isadora had memorized the proceedings of tonight by heart. The King greeted his guests first solo, before he brought out his bride-to-be, and then every event thereafter, he never greeted guests without her at his side again.

The door was opened by one of the guards positioned outside, and Zander's form appeared in the doorway as he entered. He was dressed in a sky blue brocade suit, his dark bronze skin gleaming against the color of his attire, his messy hair styled to perfection and sporting a glinting crown on his head.

Isa dropped into a slow curtsey, the loose curls framing her face gently coming in front of her eyes. Closing her eyes briefly, she straightened herself and placed her eyes into Zander's deep brown ones.

"Isa," Zander managed, and she didn't realize that his lips had come apart long before he had spoken. His brows were slightly pinched together.

In two strides he approached her, taking her elbows into both his hands as he gently ushered her close to him.

"You're so fucking beautiful," He breathed the words, his lips brushing against her forehead as Isadora dipped her head slightly and shut her eyes.

"I can't believe you're mine."

Isadora's heart clenched.

"Zander," She spoke then. "I have to talk to you."

He blinked, a slight inquiry in his eyes. "What is it? Are you alright?"

Isa swallowed tightly, her resolve shaking before she forced her composure and took a step away from him. The distance made his brows push harder together, as his eyes tried to decipher her.

"I can't go through with this, Zander," Isadora blurted out, not knowing any other way to word this. Her voice caught and her eyes stung sharply as the love of her life blinked in confusion.

"What do you mean, my love?" Zander spoke then, his voice hesitant as he tried to retain his happiness masked in hope.

"Are you tired? If you are not feeling up to this engagement ball tonight, I'll have it postponed. We can have it some other day."

Isa shook her head, trying to hold her tears at bay as he reached for her again and took hold of her arm to pull her gently and securely close.

"No, I'm sorry, it isn't the ball—it isn't anything you have done for me because my voice will give away midway if I begin thanking you for all of it."

"Isa-"

"I can't marry you," The words were out from between her lips as tears burst from her eyes, cascading down her cheeks.

She peered into his eyes, and saw something in them shatter before he shut them briefly and blinked in denial.

"No," He let out, his voice low and shaky, full of a painful denial. "Isa, I love you. I can't be without you."

He pulled her closer, dipping his face into her neck as he placed a kiss again her skin, his breaths hot on her as he inhaled her scent, trying to calm himself down.

She wanted to tell him that she loved him too, that she'll be just a shell of a person without him too.

"I'm so sorry," Isa managed instead, her voice cracking as she looked at the ceiling before Zander pulled away to meet her eyes.

The whites in his eyes were dulled, and she could see them turn glassy.

"Why? What have I done?" He uttered then, a desperation in his voice. "What did I do? Have I made a mistake? Tell me, so that I can correct it. Please, Isa, you must tell me where I went wrong."

Isadora bit the inside of her cheek. Wrong? Had Zander done anything wrong by her? She had spent every second with him loving him completely, and she would rot away doing it. If there were any faults in the King of Angria, none of them concerned his behavior towards her—his love for her.

"No," She shook her head desperately, her eyes pleading through her blurry vision. "You can do no wrong to me, you've been my every dream come true."

His eyes narrowed as he let out an exhale of disbelief.

"Then, why? Why can you not marry me? Why have you changed your mind so?"

"It's Archie," Isadora cried then, her heart convulsing in her chest. "His biological father wants to come into his life."

Zander stepped away from her then, the shock of her statement leaving him struck as he tried to make sense of it. Of all of the reasons of Isa's refusal, could he have imagined this one?

"What?" The claim left his lips as his eyes bore into hers for answers.

Isa gathered herself, raising the back of her wrist to wipe at her tears as she collected her voice.

"Archie's real mother was my friend, I told you that," She began, her voice soft and wavering. "But I never knew his father, and now he wants to come back into Archie's life."

Zander raised his hand and placed it on the back of his neck, his eyes unfocused as he tried to understand.

"Who is he?" He asked abruptly then, his eyes on her. "He's a guest at present, isn't he?"

His guess was correct and predictable, for Isadora had been fine when they had tasted cakes for their engagement ball that morning, hadn't she? She had wanted to still marry him then.

Isa nodded, shutting her eyes tight briefly.

Zander spun on his feet, both his hands on the back of his neck as he fixed his gaze on the ground in thought.

"I will talk to the man," He let out then, meeting her eyes. "If he's someone I know, or someone mother knows-regardless, he will fucking listen to his King."

Zander stepped closer to her again, and took hold of Isa's hands as he bore his eyes into hers.

"I will make him understand that Archie will be my son upon our marriage—my heir—surely no man will be ignorant enough to not see the benefit of that."

Isa's eyes hardened.

"Benefit?" She retracted her hands back. "Zander, Archie is a child. He is not a chess piece for men to play with."

Suddenly, a sharp ache marred her chest.

"Mon Dieu, did you see Archie this way the entire time? Did you want to make him your heir as a favor—a benefit—for me?"

Zander blinked in alarm, shaking his head.

"No, no, Isa, my love. I love you and I love Archie, do you understand me? I'm so fucking altered right now that words are not making sense in my damn mind. I've grown so attached to Archie, I want him as my own. There can be no other way for me. You know I want him as my own, just like I want you as my own. You know I'll do anything for you both. I'll die for you both, Isadora."

"But you can't have us both," Isadora cried then, shaking her head as her hands trembled. "I can't have you both because Archie's father wants to take him away."

The King of Angria tightened his jaw then, his eyes hardening into Isa's as he considered something.

"Tell me who this man is," He let out then, words slow and deep in his baritone. "And I'll hold him by the neck until he caves."

"No," Isa stepped forwards, fearful by the sudden anger in his eyes as she reached out a hand to gently hold and caress the side of his face.

Zander groaned softly and leaned into her touch, taking her other hand and bringing it to his lips.

"Zander, listen to me," Isadora Tremaine voice tightened as tears fell down her cheeks again. "He's Archie's real father. Please, you can't hurt him, for Archie's sake."

"Isa," He groaned as if in pain, squeezing her hand against his lips slightly as he shut his eyes tight.

"I care for you Zander," She continued, pain accumulating in her voice. "But I can't separate from Archie. I can't. I keep asking myself if this man even matters, but he does. He does matter. He's Archie's blood, and I don't know what Archie would say to me were he to grow up and realize I had deprived him of his real father."

Suddenly, realization struck through Zander's features like a knife had been twisted in his gut. His eyes widened as he let go of her hand and stepped away from her caress. Horror, shock and despair was all threaded into his facial features as his jaw tightened.

"You plan to marry him," The words were unsteady on his tongue as though pain had snatched from him the strength.

"Zander, please—"

"You plan to marry him?" He let out again, his eyes hardening. "Why, Isa? You're mine, you promised to be mine!"

His raised voice made her heart shatter, because it was not just a voice of anger, it was of betrayal and despair and so much more.

"Zander, I—"

"No!" He shouted then, "Don't put this on Archie, Isa. Archie likes me, he admires me even if he hasn't gotten to love me yet like he loves you. But I am prepared to strive for it, I'm prepared to do whatever that needs to be done for him to care for me and think of me as his father. If in the future he expresses any desire to meet his real father, I am prepared to comb through the entire Kingdom—nay, the entire world—and find the man and put him at Archie's feet."

"Do you understand me?" He dipped his head forwards, desperation making thick veins protrude in the skin of his neck as his eyes were hard in Isadora's.

"Isa, don't you dare put this on Archie," Zander repeated again, his voice softening this time. "There is something else you're not telling me."

He stepped closer to her again, a hope marring the hardness of his features.

"What are you not telling me, my love? What is forcing you away from me? Because I will fight the battle with this man and I will win, Archie will stay with us. I see no other end to this, yet you're insistent? What is it that you're not telling me?"

If you fight the battle with Archie's father, you will find out that my son was born illegitimate. You will find out that his mother was not respectable enough to have married the man first. You will find out and you will hate Archie, you will hate me for trying to sully the lineage of your royalty. You will convict me for it, you will think of us as usurpers. You will think of Archie as less than my son really is, and he loves and looks up to you so much that it will break him to sense all this dislike from you.

Isadora's lips were parted, but none of these words came out. She couldn't bring herself to utter them. She had no courage to do so, she had no strength to expose them, because she was scared. She was so fearful for Zander's hate that it shook her to her core.

And all Isa could think was, if she had set out to marry just a wealthy man without the involvement of her heart, she wouldn't have turned into such a weak hearted person. Her resolve would not have abandoned her.

The Duke of Basingstoke was one such man. Had he come into Isadora Tremaine's life before she had met Zander, she would have married him in a heartbeat because she would have gotten all that she had asked for. A wealthy man who would appreciate Archie as his own son, someone who she didn't need to tell about Archie's past, someone who just wouldn't care. Except, the man would truly have no qualms about Archie because he was indeed the father. Isadora's rational mind almost applauded her luck while her heart clenched in on itself.

But as she watched the King of Angria at present, the man she was so desperately in love with, she realized that he would care where Archie had come from. Zander's position in life, as King of his kingdom and as a royal, required him to care about such things. Mon Dieu, how could Isa have been so blind so as to not see that? How could she have convinced herself that none of it would matter in the face of their love? If it was all revealed after their marriage, would she and Archie have been cast out?

Isadora stilled then. Had she made the same mistake as Ruby Alderidge had? Had she gone so blind that rationality had escaped her mind? Life was no fairytale, and Isa had seen that very fact unfold with Ruby, yet she had criticized the girl and went on to make the same mistake.

"Isadora," Zander's strangled groan broke through her senses, and before she could ground herself, he grabbed her waist and pinned her against the nearest wall of the chambers.

Desperation dripped from his every feature, and even his strong arm holding the back of her waist tightly, was shaking.

He dropped his head into the nape of her neck and placed anguished hot kisses against her skin.

"Isa, Isa, my love," He uttered, her name a mantra on his tongue. "I'll die without you and Archie. You're mine, you're both mine and I can't let you go. Please, you're no one else's but mine."

He trailed his kisses down to her chest, sucking on the exposed top skin of her breasts where the bust of her dress had trapped her tight.

Tears streaked out of the corners of her eyes as she dipped her head back to look at the ceiling. Mon Dieu, this was too painful. Getting her heart involved was too painful. How could she have put herself and her son in this position willingly? How could she have made him stand with her on the edge where they would always be on this verge of been convicted and banished?

"I'm sorry," She murmured, her voice gaining strength, not knowing who she was apologizing to. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Zander slowly lifted his head from her neck to meet her eyes, his crown was askew on his head now, and front bits of his hair were falling into his red eyes.

"I will kill him," He spoke then, "Whoever he is, I'll butcher him and I'll set him on fire."

Isadora gathered her resolve, and firmed her voice, though it came out still soft when she spoke.

"He's Archie's father," She let out. "And he hasn't done anything to you."

"Hasn't done anything to me?" Zander scoffed, a hard and pained scoff full of vicious fury. "He's taking you away from me! You're marrying him Isa!"

"I'm going of my own accord!" Isadora cried out then, stepping away from Zander and pressing a hand on her chest.

"I'm going of my own accord, Zander," She repeated softly then. "I'm doing what's best for Archie—I'm doing what is best for my son."

The King of Angria grabbed the crown off his head threw it across the chambers, before running both his hands over his hair.

"How are you so sure that I'm not good for him?" He asked then, his jaw tight. "It's not only about blood, Isa, I swear to you I will lay my life down for him. I will be a better father than this man—I will—"

"Archie's not your child, Zander!"

Her words were accusing, sharp and angry, and they slashed through the man standing in front of her as his brows furrowed in confusion, his fight dissolving into a helpless confusion and hurt.

"He's my child! I adopted him," Isa cried, not caring if her voice carried out into the halls and all the way to the throne room where people awaited the commencement of an engagement ball that was to be left unfinished.

"I will decide what's good for him and what isn't," Her voice cracked viciously, but she didn't care. "I have spent too many nights awake nursing him and caring for him for anyone to accuse me of being wrong about my choices for him."

"Nobody has the right," She paused to intake air as her heart pounded in her chest. "To come in between us and accuse me of anything."

"Isa," Zander shook his head, swallowing hesitantly, his voice gentle and anxious. "Isadora, I'm not trying to—"

But Isadora didn't let him finish, she took off the glinting canary diamond on her ring finger and walked over to a nearby circular side table sporting a vase full of fresh fresh hyacinths along with an open jewelry box full of the glittering items she had been given by Queen Ariana, and placed the ring on the table surface.

Her eyes met Zander's, and he saw him visibly slump with misery. His eyes were on the ring on the table surface, before he looked at her again.

"Isadora, I love you," His voice shook. "Don't do this to me. Don't fucking do this to me."

She bit the inside of her cheek hard and tasted the copper of her blood. It grounded her, diverted the focus of her heart somewhat.

"I'm sorry, your majesty," She spoke slowly, reverting back to his formal title now that she had broken the engagement. A lump in her throat threatening to choke her.

"I will leave tonight. I won't impose on your kindness any longer," She intertwined her fingers at the base of her stomach tightly as they shook. "Archie's father is willing to take us away as soon as he is given leave by you. If you do not want to meet with him, I understand, you can just grant me the permission for him—"

"Of course I want to meet with him," The King of Angria let out, his voice hard at her use of his title, "Of course I want to look at the bastard who has such audacity to rip my world apart."

Isadora swallowed thickly, not meeting his eyes.

"Tell me, Isa," Alexander Casimir spoke after a pause, his voice tight. "Tell me to eviscerate him and it will be as though he had never been. I will have his innards wrapped around his windpipe and I will watch him strangle himself to death. I will do it all if you only give me a word."

She thought of the Duke being a valuable political alliance then. Would Zander still want to hurt him when he found out shortly who the man was? Isa didn't want to dwell on it. After all, this was it was it not? All her heart's dreams shattered in a single moment while the strict and rational part of mind raged over her, making her heart a slave.

"No, your majesty," She hastened, "Please, I implore you to leave him be."

He didn't say anything, though his lips parted slightly. His eyes flashed the battle waging inside his mind as he gazed at her.

"I—," She cleared her throat, pushing her misery back and strangling it. "I will prepare to leave, your majesty. I must apologize to the Queen mother."

She made to move, attempting to walk towards the exit of the chambers, her heart dreading the confrontation with Queen Ariana. Mon Dieu, her heart was dying in her chest and her knees were threatening to give in. Her stung harshly, but she tried to hold her tears back.

"Stay," The King blurted out then, clearing his own throat then, a distant look in his eyes as he held himself back, his gaze fixated on her.

"Rest tonight, you can leave in the morning. I will talk to mother on your behalf."

His words hurt, but she had asked for them hadn't she? Yet there was still hope in her heart that he would find a way somehow to keep her. A way might emerge perhaps, where she could choose both Archie and Zander, without the latter hating her son or thinking less of him just because of the circumstances of his birth.

Suddenly, Isadora had the urge to find out. What more could she lose if she told Zander now? About Archie's illegitimacy, and how his mother had been used only as a release of which Archie had been the product.

She opened her mouth to speak, but then she stopped and held herself back. At least keeping quiet would ensure that however harshly Zander would think of her, he wouldn't extend the same thought to her boy. Archie would be safe from dislike from the sole person that he had so looked up to. That counted for something, did it not? Who in this world even loved Archie as much as she did? Zander and Queen Ariana had come to care for him too, and Isa didn't want that to go away, she didn't want it to go stale on him.

"Thank you, your majesty," She managed a soft response, her eyes resting in his as she tried to keep her emotion away.

"Archie's father waits for you to receive him. He is presently in the library room."

Zander exhaled, unpinning his arms from behind his back as he ran them through his messy hair again. Then letting go of his composure, he approached her in a single stride, gipped her waist and slammed his lips on hers.

Isadora's skin erupted in ecstasy as she grabbed the back of his head, her fingers tangling in his soft hair. He set her lips apart and plunged his tongue into her mouth, tasting every inch of her as his tongue dominated Isa entirely. Her tears wetted her face again and rubbed against their facial skins as they kissed. He went deeper, kissing her breathless as his lips moved against hers with a ferocity and desperate desire. It was though he didn't even need to breathe, and it was she who had to pull away to catch a breath.

"You were made for me Isadora," The King spoke then, panting as his breath fanned her face and his brown orbs bore into hers. "You were made for me and you are being stolen from me. I would burn whoever who came in between, but since you don't want me to touch that man, I'll smolder the ground he walks on, do you understand me? I'll reduce this fucking world—where you're not with me—to ashes."

Then he tore himself away from her, and was out of the chambers before she could blink. And all Isadora could hear in her mind were the words of the fairy godmother.

"King Alexander Casimir is the one who will save the world as we know it from the forthcoming war, with his limitless strength. But he needs to be stable in order to do so, he needs to have you at his side, my dear, or his wrath and decisions will burn everything down."

She wondered then, as she wiped the rapidly falling tears from her eyes, of what the fairy godmother would think of Isadora now. She would no longer be the Queen of Angria, and was leaving the palace morning come with her son to marry the Duke of Basingstoke. He had an estate and his own lands in the Kingdom of Angria, and he had assured her of a quiet ceremony and the opportunity to rewrite Archie's beginnings. He had assured her too of him getting King Alexander Casimir's permission, for he was a valuable political alliance, was he not? Isa's heart clenched at the thought of everything the man had the power to hold against Zander, for him to be so confident in front of her in the library room.

When it came down to the intricacies of his Kingdom or Isadora, surely he would make the logical choice. Regardless of all of his anger at their broken engagement, he was still a King. She wondered then of her worth in Zander's eyes. What card would the Duke play? Surely he couldn't be so politically powerful to overcome the anger of a King. She had the sick urge to find out what she was being put up against, but she stifled it.

Because it would hurt regardless, and how much hurt could she take in a single moment? And if there was something hefty the Duke was threatening Zander with, something that thrown the politics of his Kingdom in ruins, then letting Isadora go was the right choice.

She bit her lip as tears cascaded down her cheeks again. Yes, letting her go was the right choice.

As for the war that fairy godmother was anxious about, Isa decided that she couldn't care less for it or for what the world would become in the aftermath of it. She was marrying Archie's father, she was ensuring security for herself and for her son. She was doing all that she set out to do. She had tripped and gotten her heart involved, yes, but she was on the right path again, was she not?

This was her right path. This was what had been intended for her, and the future that the fairies had seen had been nothing but a reflection of their own selfish desires. For Isa would never pick anyone over Archie, she would never pick herself or her own happiness over that of her son's.

***

A/N:
i apologize sincerely for this chapter</3 i promise my heart is hurting at this too