Gerard's POV :

I was on the other side of Frank's door, forehead pressed against the wooden surface as he pleaded me. He was begging me not to leave him alone. But I did.

I stayed quiet.
I listened to every word he uttered.
But I stayed quiet.

He had to learn his lesson. I inhaled deeply. Oh God, what just happened? How did things turn out that way?

Frank was isolated there. I was the only human he got to see in three years. Frank was human, he had needs. Wants. Fantasies.

And since I was the only one he saw and knew anymore, I was the only one he could fantasize about.

This is bad, this is really bad. I had the sex talk with him, of course, but I never introduced him to... Well, to porn. I don't have anything pornographic here and I forbid Frank to use the Internet, so no porn for him.

The only thing he knows is his own body. So male bodies in general, and what is in the biology books I provide him. He has a limited comprehension of the matter. Therefore he is pretty... primal, shall I say.

Yet that was unexpected for Frank to turn out to be gay. That's not what happened with the others, so I never had to deal with that kind of twisted attraction.

It's completely okay if Frank is gay, but once again, I appear to be the center of Frank's fantasies. And that is not okay.

Frank thinks he wants me, but that's untrue.
That's a delusion.

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I opened, revealing my little brother.

He saw at my face that something was wrong. I explained to him the whole situation - which somewhat helped me rationalize it and take some distance.

"So... what do you think?" I inquired, agitated.

"You know, the kid really likes you." Mikey sighed.

I sighed as well and ran a hand though my hair. "I know, and that's the problem... That has never happened before."

"Well, you've never kept a kid for this long before." Mikey shrugged. "I mean, you're basically his God. You've been controlling his entire life. You could make him do anything for you. Anything. Think about it. Perfect devotion, don't tell me that doesn't give you a few ideas."

I frowned deeply and looked up at my little brother. "Are you implying-"

"-He loves you, Gerard. Why don't you try and love him back? That's the least you can do to apologize for taking his childhood away," Mikey spoke sarcastically with a sardonic smile on. "C'mon, be the bad guy until the end."

"We're not having this conversation." I waved my hands dismissively. I pressed my hands on my ears but I still heard his voice whatever I did. Mikey was obnoxious as hell.

"Why? You like him, or you wouldn't do all of that for him. Go ahead and take advantage of him. Just remember you started this. The kid didn't ask for shit," he spat.

"I'm not listening." I stated calmly, turning away. But Mikey went back in front of me.

"So you're telling me you don't want him? The kid said it, he's a person on his own." Mikey pouted. "You know, absolute free will and all the philosophical stuff you've been teaching him. That shit got up his head. C'mon Gee, stick to your principles."

"My principles are to never lay a hand on that kid." I folded my arms and narrowed my eyes. "Why are you being such a snake? That's new. You're not usually like that."

"Maybe you see me differently. Maybe you want Frank but you don't accept it, so you need me to make you realize it. Look at yourself, wanting a 16-year-old. I didn't change, Gerard. You did."

"That's bullshit," I scoffed.

"I'm just evolving as you are."

"Stop trying to poison my mind, Mikey ! I'm just helping him having a better life. My plan is working. Frank is feeling better and his family is full of regrets. I've never wanted him like that."

"I sure hope you don't ! At least a little common sense from you," Mikey snarled. "You wanna know what I think? I think you're playing a dangerous game, Gerard."

"You can't reproach me his behavior !"

"Actually, I can! You're responsible of his education. And you're driving him crazy, isolating him like that! You're not helping the kid, you're destroying him. Look at you. You're no different than all these parents who don't take responsability for their actions."

"I do take responsibility ! And... And you're right. It's my fault and I'm going to fix this mess." I stated proudly.

"By pure charity I suppose, once again." Mikey rolled his eyes. "Because you're a saint who can fix and help everyone, because you're so smart. The wonder kid. You handle people's minds like jigsaws."

"I hate when you're being so sarcastically dramatic. I don't want to see you in this house ever again, you hear me?"

Mikey started chuckling at me.
"Go away !" I seethed.

"I don't care. Clock's ticking, Gerard. Remember your promise. When he turns 17, you'll let him go. So much to fix, and so little time..."

"Go away !"

"Tick, tock..."

I grabbed the sponge on the sink and threw it at Mikey. Thank God that made him leave.

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. Mikey knows the words to soothe me but also the words to piss me off. I was seething.

I sat on the couch and hid my face in my hands. I'd rather die than let myself look at Frank like he was anything but my kid. I'm his protector, nothing more, nothing less.

•••
I knocked on Frank's door, a tray of food in hand.

Frank was curled up on his bed sobbing softly, clinging onto Miss Jackson like she was his lifeline.

When he saw I was there, he tried to hide his face. That broke my heart. The backlash of his actions must have been crushing shame.

I set the tray on Frank's nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed. Frank carefully sat up. He looked down and eyed me as if he was scared I might snap at him.

I sighed and gently pulled him in a hug. Frank hid in my arms and cried quietly.

"I'm so sorry..." he whined and I rubbed his back.

"I know, I know..." I whispered. I wanted to cry along.

"I-I thought y-you'd love me back..." Frank hiccuped.

"Oh, Frankie... I do love you. Maybe not in the way you want, but I love you, I swear. You're like a son to me. The son I never had."

Frank nodded. "I-I'm fine with that." he stated with a sore, raspy voice. "Just... p-please don't be mad. Please don't ever leave me. I won't do it again. I don't know why I feel that way..."

Poor Frankie, he was a mess. I made a mess out of my little peanut. Poor baby...

"Shhh, I know, Frankie. You probably have Stockholm syndrome. Also, the teenage hormones are not helping. I understand and I don't blame you for it. I failed you as your tutor and I'm so sorry."

"S-Stockholm syndrome?" Frank pulled back from my arms and wiped his tears.

"When someone falls for their captor. It's a mechanism the mind uses in such situations if it feels threatened. To keep sane."

"But... I chose to stay. I-I'm not feeling threatened. You never forced me into anything."

"I know. That's why I wasn't expecting that, but it seems that you are, subconsciously." I delicately poked Frank's forehead who giggled softly and hid his face in his sleeves.

"But free will can actually be an illusion. You don't want me, Frank. Trust me, you don't - not really. You want me out of spite. Therefore I won't make you happy, even though you think I can," I explained.

"But we can try though, can't we?" Frank said. I closed my eyes and repressed a sigh. Diplomacy, Gerard. Fix your mess.

"We can't, because I knew you as a child and dating you now would be kind of gross, right? You're only 16. You are a minor, Frank. I'm too old for you."

"But age gap is not a problem? What if we were both like, 5 years older, that would be okay? I wouldn't be a minor anymore!" Frank's eyes started shining.

"Frankie, I'm a grandpa to you. You're too young, and I'm too old. You wouldn't want to date a grandpa, right?"

Frank pursed his lips.
"Do you wanna date an old wrinkly grandpa?" I insisted, keeping my voice soft not to sound aggressive.

"Nooo!" Frank giggled, once again hiding his face in his sleeves. "But... Like, in 2 years? I'll be 18 and you won't be a grandpa yet!"

I sighed. "Frank, listen. The age gap in itself is not the main problem here. I saw you grow up. I am your father figure. The bond we have, the relationship we built, it can't possibly lead to a romantic relationship."

"What if you weren't my father figure?" Frank kept trying to negotiate.

" 'What if'..." I repeated and let out a chuckle. "That's not the case though, is it?"

Frank looked down and shook his head. "No..."

"I'm sorry, but it just can't be. And whenever I say no - or anyone else actually - it means no. It's very rude to insist. I'm sorry I did that to you, Pumpkin. You couldn't know, but now you know. It's not because you want to be with someone very much that they want it too, little bean."

Frank rested his forehead on my shoulder. "Oh... okay... I'm sorry. Maybe you're right. Maybe I have that syndrome thingie. I've always liked you since I'm 11. Not always the same kind of love, but still. I looked up to you. I guess it helped," he confessed.

I nodded. Frank sniffled.
"Can we please move on? I'd rather have you have you as a friend and a mentor than not at all." he said.

I wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Of course. I'm so proud of you, Frank. You're being very mature by reacting that way."

I hugged and cradled Frank who snuggled in my arms. He soon fell asleep. Little pumpkin...

•••
Frank was asleep and I was slumped on the couch. I was changing channels until the news came on the screen.

There was Frank's portrait. They narrowed down the area of research to my neighborhood. Frank's parents were not giving up.

The researches are not going to stop anytime soon. It's only a matter of weeks before the Marshals barge in here, and they won't be as willing to listen as the inspectors.

I was seeing red. That's so annoying. Like sand in the cogs of my perfectly oiled machine.

I took out my lighter and frenetically turned it on and off to calm myself down.

Mikey is right, clock's ticking. I have so little time left with my little Frankie, so little time to do my work and I'm not going to let the fucking police ruin that.

Looks like I've got work to do tonight.

______