Frank's POV :

Something had progressively changed in my mind and I slowly realized that I liked Gerard so much than we had to be more than what we currently were.

These dreams I had been having, these feelings I had been developing, and more recently that terrible attraction... It felt like both a curse and a blessing.

Something about Gerard makes my knees go weak. I've always looked up at him. He used to be a father figure to me. But now I know it's not just a regular type of admiration. Actually, admiration was both a trigger and a consequence of what I was now feeling for him.

Gerard understands me. Our relationship has never been 'normal'. I don't see why it should ever be. We're deviant, we're out of the norms, but there is nothing wrong with that.

Gerard is a good man who has always protected me. I believe I'm a good person as well. People might think my feelings are unacceptable, but I couldn't care less. We've never hurt anyone. I just want to be happy with him, that's all I'm asking for.

I do believe that free will exists. I'm the master of my own fate, and I'm mature now, I know who I want to be. I'm making my own choices. No one is making me do anything.

I'm sure Gerard can understand that, and he will see that there is no problem with us being together.

Now I know that I have to follow my heart, and I know what to do. I have to find a way to confess my feelings to Gerard without shocking him. I'm sure I can convince him that I have so much to give him.

I sat at my desk and did the homework Gerard gave me. Pff, physics... A nightmare. I don't understand anything. I'll have to ask Gerard to explain that this evening. And maybe try to...

•••
"Hey Frank," Gerard called. He had just come back from work.

I helped him with his coat and hung it. I embraced him and felt him stiffen a little.

"Uh, ahem, thank you. Have you learnt your lessons? I'll make you recite them."

"Of course. Oh and I'll need some help in physics. If you're not feeling too tired, I mean."

"Sure."

Gerard looked at me with pride on his face. He seemed pretty okay, all things considered. That made me feel a bit more confident. Maybe he thought about yesterday and... I don't know how to put it, but basically he reconsidered our situation.

We settled on the living room table and Gerard began explaining me physics stuff he called 'basic'. That was just gibberish to me. I tried to get interested but wow, it was hard. Pff, literature is so much better.

I chewed dreamily on my pencil tip and focused on diagrams I didn't understand, as though staring at them would miraculously provoke a light bulb.

My gaze trailed up from the pages to Gerard. His hands, chest, neck, rosy cheeks, upturned nose, thick eyela-

"-Frank?"
Gerard's eyes met mine and that instantly snapped out of my daydream.

"Please focus Frank, this is an important point of the chapter." Gerard pouted a little.

I nodded. Gerard resumed his explanation and I couldn't help but glance at him from time to time.

I wonder how Gerard can understand everything in every subject. He must be some sort of genius or something like that. I knew he was smart, but he seemed to be pushing the limits of intelligence everyday.

I'm so lucky I came upon him out of anyone, and I'm so lucky he took such an interest in me.

"And.. So this is the frequency, right?" I showed him the wave with my pencil. Gerard bent to see and oh boy, my mind became fuzzy as he was so close.

"Yeah, exactly."

Gerard resumed his class. And blablablah... Luckily, it ended soon enough.

Gerard made dinner. As to me, I made sure to subltly flirt with him. A hand on his shoulder, a sweet voice, a kiss on his cheek. It was hard for me to seize how far I was going, so I refered to all the movies I had seen.

Gerard let me but didn't react. Once dinner was over, I asked Gerard if I could show him something in my bedroom.

My heart was pounding as he was following me. Alright Frank, now's the time. I closed the door behind us.

"So Frank, what did y-"

I grasped Gerard's collar and smashed my lips on his. I pinned him on the wall and kissed him with all I got. Don't mess up, Frank.

Gerard pushed me away and receded. "F-Frank, w-what- I-I..."

"You know, you've always told me you weren't my dad. I want you to be more than that. We can be so happy together. I can make you so fucking happy..." I ended in a seductive whisper before putting my hands on his firm chest and pushing him on my bed.

Gerard gasped as his back collided with my mattress. I climbed his bigger body and captured his lips with my own. It felt so fucking right. I pecked his lips hungrily, over and over again, never getting enough of it. It made me feel dizzy. My first kiss...

Something inside me started bubbling. More, I need more. I need him to touch me. Hold me. Love me. It all felt surreal.

I kneaded his chest with my hands as I tried to force my tongue into his mouth. Gerard pushed me off him so roughly that I literally fell off my bed and went rolling on the carpet.

"Frank, stop it !" Gerard yelled his lungs out. "I am not your father, nor your boyfriend ! I can't be either of these. I'm 30 and you're 16, for God's sake ! You're a child !"

"Keeping me here is not the most legal nor ethical thing to do either, yet you don't mind it much." I retorted and tried to climb on him again.

"Frank, I-"

"-I fucking want you, what do you not understand?" I stated aggressively although my sentence ended in a sensual mumble. I attached my mouth to his neck and attacking it with feverish kisses.

Gerard pushed me off of him yet again. "Frank, stop that right now. It's the hormones and your Stockholm syndrome talking."

"I don't know what that it, and I don't care. All that I know is that I want you. I need you, now."

I tried to come on him again but he flipped me so he was on top of me, pinning my wrists above my head and immobilizing me.

"That's enough, young man !" he growled and his dominant attitude was giving me ideas as to all the things he could do to me. I'd let him do anything.

I moaned under my breath. "That's it, restrain me and shut me up..."

Gerard rolled his eyes.
"You are the horniest teen I've ever seen in my years of counseling. And I've seen some pretty obsessed ones."

"But I'm also the first one you kidnap." I smirked.

Gerard looked very embarrassed. "Please don't use that word."

"But it's the truth, isn't it. But you know what? I'm so glad you did, because I've never felt so fucking happy in my life. And for that, I'll do anything for you, Gee. Anything..." I looked at him in the eye. I had never been more serious in my life.

Gerard suddenly looked terribly sad. If I didn't know him better, I'd say his eyes were getting teary. "Frank, I'm so sorry..." he whispered.

I shook my head, refusing to hear what he had to say. I buckled my hips up and ground my hard-on on Gerard's thigh.

He couldn't even move because moving would mean letting me go. "Frank.. S-stop."

I kept rubbing myself on Gerard, and to my greatest satisfaction, I earned a muffled moan from him. He let go of me then, and stood up, a semi appearing in his jeans.

I stood up too. "Want me to help with that?" I asked, sinking down on my knees. "Gerard, calm down. There is nothing wrong with it. It's okay, I want it," I said softly.

Gerard stepped back when I tried to reach out for his belt. He looked horrified by my behavior, and disappointing him somewhat made me sad.

I didn't know what was taking over me. I was on autopilot, like I was watching myself act through a screen.

If Gerard asked me anything, anything at all, I would do it in a heartbeart. He saved me, and I love him for that. He's beautiful, both on the inside and the outside. He's the smartest and the kindest, too. I would regret it my whole life if I didn't at least try to ask him out.

Gerard recoiled and looked at me angrily.
"You- you're grounded for a week. No TV, and no getting out of your bedroom. I'll bring you all your meals here. Now get up, brush your teeth and go to bed. Now." he ordered with a shaky voice.

I looked at him confusedly. "B-but-"

"Now, Frank !" He snapped. He was on edge. "Be good and maybe I'll forget about how much you misbehaved this week. You really disappointed me, Frank. Goodnight. Try to think about how bad you've been." he spoke dryly before storming out and locking the door.

I blinked a couple of times, processing what had just happened. I zoned out for a couple of minutes, thinking about it.

After a little while, I stood up from my kneeling position and went to the door. I rested my forehead on the wooden surface.

"Gerard... I'm sorry... I-I've been bad, I'm sorry. I don't know why I did it. I just love you so much ! Please understand, I don't know what's happening..." I pleaded in a broken voice.

I shut my eyes and pressed my hands against the door. No answer came so I pleaded louder. I just needed him to acknowledge my apology.

"Gerard, please, please don't leave me. I won't do it again, please don't leave me ! I... I didn't mean to... It's just- I don't know why I'm feeling or acting like I do. I'd die for you. Please don't be mad. Please don't hate me because I love you too much..."

I sank down on the floor, curling up in a little ball against the door. "Please... Please don't hate me..." I whispered as tears silently made their way out of my eyes.

I still got no answer, so I did as told : I brushed my teeth and went to bed in my pyjamas. There, I brought my knees to my chest, rolling up in the smallest possible ball, and started sobbing quietly. I clung Miss Jackson for comfort.

I disappointed Gerard, I was bad. But... But I want him so bad ! It's not just physical, I do love him. And... And yet I managed to get him angry at me.

Gerard, who never gets pissed, got angry at me. I'm supposed to be a good boy, but instead I keep upsetting him by disobeying. Everything would be alright if I just did as told...

The thought had me sobbing more into my pillow. I wish I could wipe the day off our memories.

I don't... I don't understand why he rejected me.

But I decided that I would be the best boy for Gerard from now on. No advance, nothing. Feelings can be pushed aside. Maybe I can go back to considering him a father figure.

Yes, that's the solution. And from now, I'll be good. I'll behave. No trouble. If I can't have Gerard's love, at least I can have his pride and trust.

I wiped my tears and fell asleep really quickly, a sorrowful wince printed on my face.

______