Gerard's POV :

I was lost in my thoughts, yet again. Ideas were violently storming inside my mind, to the point that I had to muffle them and focus on one at the time.

I should have taken the police more seriously. This is playing with fire. This is a chess game.

I can't risk losing. To win, I might have to sacrifice pawns to protect my Frankie and myself.

I was sitting at a table, forehead sustained by my hands, elbows on the wooden surface. I was thinking of last week, when detectives had barged in.

They surely hadn't been sent by public services, that was bullshit. Frank's case was still cold for sure.

The detectives, the interview... It's all matching. Frank's parents hired the detectives. They want their Frankie back. Does that mean they changed?

I sighed. My plan had worked all too well, it seemed. Yet, I wasn't satisfied. Why wasn't I? I should have been. But I wasn't.

Exactly one year had passed since I took Frank. He was thirteen and a half.

"Time is up, Gerard. You have to let him go." Mikey spoke up, leaning back on the counter on my left.

Each of his words were stabbing wounds in my heart and I kept staring at the table. I didn't want to see him right now, or hear what he had to say. Because I knew he was right.

"I... I can't." I confessed silently.

"I beg your pardon? You've reached your goal oh so successfully. Frank understood that his parents loved him, and his parents understood that they must take care of their son. Everything went according to your plan. Great. Pop the champagne and release him."

"Keep your voice down, the kid's asleep," I muttered, trying to avoid having that conversation.

Mikey huffed and ran his hand in his hair, seemingly losing patience.
"Gerard, look at me. The only reason why I was tolerating this madness is because it was supposed to be over after a year ! Are you out of your mind?!"

"I told you to keep your voice down," I snapped at him the most silently I could, sending him a death glare. My eyes were teary though, so not so much for my credibility.

Mikey's features softened. "Gerard... Your work here is done. You made sure Frank could get over you. I'm sure you can get over him."

I sighed and wiped my teary eyes. "I can't, Mikey. I can't let him go. He... He's too precious. I know how he thinks and feels. Only I can take care of him the way he deserves. Please, let me keep him a little longer. Frank is the happiest he can be here," I pleaded.

Mikey seemed thoughtful so I took the occasion to keep pleading for my cause.

"Mikey, he's still so young. The world is fucked up and he's so small. I educated his parents but I can't teach a lesson to all assholes. Frankie will get eaten whole, in the state he is right now. He's still too innocent. I need to teach him how to defend himself and stay strong."

Mikey was hesitant but he eventually shook his head. "Don't you think he is still that innocent because of you? Because you preserved him too much?"

My eyes widened slightly. "W-what?"

Mikey folded his arms.
"You built a crystal home of safety for him. How can you teach him how to be strong? That's not something you learn like a poem or a math theorem. It's something you live."

I frowned deeply. So... Frank is like a kid I'm teaching how to walk...? I hold him as he walks and he has trouble walking on his own. He might never trip and get hurt, but he doesn't learn how to get up whenever he falls down.

"This is not a healthy situation for either of you," Mikey shook his head. "See how the kid has to grow up? Isolated? Hidden from the world? You're teaching him how to avoid people and mistrust the police, Gerard. Besides coddling him too much, you're also making him antisocial."

I shook my head. "That's- that's not true. Frank loves people. He always will. I'm just balancing with his excess of trust."

"It is true, you know it. Don't play dumb with me, Gerard. You and I both know this has to stop. This situation is not normal."

I sighed.
"Mikey, you do know what will happen to this house if I let him go, right? Our house. Our home."

"I know. This is how you work, isn't it?"

I nodded.

"I don't care." Mikey stated. "This is just a house. You have to release the kid."

I started fiddling the hems of my pyjamas. My head hurt as if someone was trying to bash it from within with a hammer.

"Frank will get back on his feet, trust me," Mikey spoke softly.

"No, he won't! He needs me."

"Oh yeah?" Mikey scoffed. "Is it him who needs you, or is it you who needs him?" he retorted. "Keeping him is stealing what's left of his childhood. That's selfish. You keep him only because he reminds you of yourself."

I frowned. "I-I don't understand. What do you mean?"

"Oh please! A pale, innocent kid with jet black hair, hazel eyes and parental issues? And to whom you made read the same comic books as you? One must be blind not to see what's going on."

"Oh yeah? And what is exactly going on, according to you?" I spat, anger bubbling inside me.

"You're trying to invent a happy childhood through Frank as it was yours, that's what's going on ! You're willing to do anything to delude yourself about what happened !"

I slammed my hands on the table. "Enough. You lie just like you breathe." I seethed. "Nothing changed. I want to be the father figure neither Frank nor us had. I won't let Frank go, and nothing you can say will change my mind."

"Gerard, I-"

"-Quiet." I ordered, glaring at nothing.

"...I'm sorry." Mikey looked down. "I shouldn't have yelled. Doesn't mean I don't think less of it, but I'm still sorry."

I balled my fists. I wasn't angry at Mikey but at myself. "I... I think you're right. Partly. I heard you and... I know I won't be able to keep him forever. One day the little bird will have to fly by himself." I smiled sadly.

Mikey put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm glad you understand, man. How about we set a date? Or an age, huh? This way you can prepare the both of you."

"... Sounds reasonable."

•••
I opened Frank's door the quietest I could and entered on tiptoe.

My pumpkin was asleep, a book clung to his chest. I set it on his nightstand and turned the lights off. I'm glad Mikey and I didn't wake him up.

I brushed aside Frank's bangs. He's so small and beautiful. I absolutely don't regret everything I've done for him so far.

"Looks like you still got some time to stay with me, boy," I whispered. I planted a chaste kiss on his cheek and left the bedroom.

•••
Frank seemed most interested in psychology when it came to studies. He wasn't really into math, and was more on the emotional than the rational side of things.

That was a major difference between the two of us. I calculated ; he felt.

This morning, he came out of his bedroom and sat on my lap for breakfast. He wasn't very tall for his age so he could still do that without having his feet touch the floor.

"You should stop doing that, Frank." I stated.

Frank tilted his head. "Doing what?"

"Sitting on my lap like you do. I know the two of us are close, but it's just not appropriate," I said softly, not wanting to sound scolding.

Frank did nothing wrong - or more accurately, he didn't know that what he was doing was wrong.

"Oh..." Frank looked down. "Just for today?"

I chuckled. "Just for today."

And then Frank started asking me questions about sociology and different types of behavior, to which I answered the best I could. He had trouble grasping the concept of deviancy though.

"People do what they want. If they want to get their whole body tattooed, it's their problem." He shrugged.

"I agree, but deviancy also includes people who arm themselves or others. Sexual offenders, for example."

"And also, like... murderers and stuff?"

"Exactly, although these are the most extreme cases of deviancy."

"What about people with mental diseases? Are they deviant? They're like... weird and stuff, but it's not their fault. They're just different."

"Is it ever the individual's fault if they are deviant, though? Do we ever actually choose to be deviant? Don't you think free will might not just be an illusion?"

Frank started thinking deeply. I could almost see the cogs turning inside his head.

"So... Like... People would never actually choose, but rather be led to making certain choices?"

I hummed. "Mhm. That's a theory. We all get influenced and manipulated by everyone, every instant of our lives. Humans are complex, socially constructed beings. We always act in undirect reaction to lots of external influences."

"Whoaa... So no one is free?"

"Now that's a very tough question. There are very divergent opinions on it. Some philosophers think that we aren't free because we are determined by our human nature. A human being isn't free to fly. Others think that there's no human nature. We are absolutely free in the spectrum of our capacities, because we can always choose our actions. And choosing not to act is already a choice in itself."

"Sounds complicated. Gerard, is it deviant to watch horror movies?"

I laughed. "Of course not, as long as you can tell the difference between fiction and reality - even though there is always a slight part of truth. Same goes for porn."

"Porn?" Frank tilted his head. That's when I realized I might have been a bit overprotective of him on that. I explained him what porn was the best I could.

"Cool." Frank shrugged and kicked his feet back and forth. "Do you like horror movies?"

"They were never my favorites. I prefer complexe thrillers like 'Seven'. My favorite remains 'The Sixth Sense' though." I smirked.

"Oh. Can we watch one together, one day? Like, for my birthday?"

"A horror movie on Halloween, it doesn't seem like a bad idea. Now get up, big boy. You and I have work to do."

______