WITH HEAVY STEPS, Happy stepped outside, beads of sweat running down his face, but not only due to the hot California sun that hung in the sky.

His heart was racing, still or again, he wasn't sure, as he walked towards the group of men, their kuttes sticking to their backs from the heat. His expression was grim, causing everyone to clear their throats.

"You knew she was alive?!", he barked, his hands clenched into fists that rested at his sides. "Since when do you know? And why didn't anyone fuckin' tell me?"

"We didn't know, man." Jax rose from the bench, his swagger controlled and confident. "Juice and I found her by chance in a burger restaurant when we were on our way back to Charming from Nevada."

"And we thought it would be better to keep it from you until we were sure it was really Josy", Juice added with a deep sigh, also getting up, but seemed much less confident than the blonde next to him. "We should've told you about it right away, though."

"Yeah, you think so?" Happy spat, pumping his fists with a snort as he paced back and forth. "Would you ever have told me about her if she hadn't shown up herself?"

"We wouldn't have given up so easily, brother", Chibs chimed in, his voice thick with his accent as he looked up at the SAA with understanding flashing in his eyes. "If she hadn't shown up, we would've told ye' about 'er anyway. But the lass was really off track, Hap."

"Of course she was", Happy grunted back, snapping his head in Gemma's direction, who was just returning with Esmee, a bottle of juice in the one-year-old's hand.

Muttering something incomprehensible, still more upset than ever, he reached for Esmee. Thoughtfully, he ran a hand over her head full of red hair, none of the guys daring to disturb the moment.

"So, what happens now?" Gemma, as usual the only one who had no problem asking the questions that were on the tip of her tongue, put her hands on her hips. "You're not going to let her leave again, right?"

"Fuck no." He looked at the matriarch almost stunned, not sure if he should be surprised or pissed that Gemma really thought he would let Josy go again. "Why would I do that? She's my wife, her mom", he tilted his head to the side, nodding at Esmee. "She's not going anywhere."

"But what if she doesn't want to stay?" All eyes landed on Tig, shock and amusement etched into their faces after their other SAA was actually brave enough to ask that question.

"What? There's a chance she doesn't want to stay", he added with a shrug, which didn't mean he liked it but it was a possibility.

"Christ, you've made him speechless." Despite the tense situation, Bobby let out a belly laugh. "Nobody has ever done that."

Bobby was right. Happy Lowman had never been speechless. Not talkative, sure, but never speechless. A mix of anger and dread filled his chest as he thought about Tig's question.

What if Josy didn't want to stay? Could they really blame her? After all, she had lost all her memories, everyone here was a stranger to herᅳ even her own husband and daughter.

"Doesn't matterᅳ she'll stay here", he finally said, determinedly, as he put Esmee on the ground and held out his hand to her. "And if it's the last thing I do, I'm not saying goodbye to my wife again."

Leaving the words hanging heavy in the air, Happy walked inside, Esmee's little fingers wrapped around his pinky finger. The one-year-old toddled beside him, her feet wide apart as she concentrated on putting each foot in front of the other until the two finally disappeared into the clubhouse.

"Hap!" Gemma put a hand on her son's shoulder as he was about to follow the SAA, each equally concerned about the man who has been through hell for the last year and a half anyway.

"Leave him, he needs the time with Josy." A little surprised at herself, Gemma just knew it was better to hold back a little in this case. "There's no point in Josy feeling pressured by all of usᅳ it'll only drive her further away."

"Aye, Gemma's right, Jackie boy", Chibs stated matter-of-factly, passing around his pack of cigarettes so everyone could take one. "I'm sure she'll stay."

"Yeah, me too", Tig nodded confidently, his black curls bouncing slightly as he swung an arm around Gemma's shoulder. "We know Josy. If she's even a little bit like she used to be, she'll never leave Happy and Esmee."

"Then why the fuck did you even ask, asshole?" Jax asked with a huff, his arrogance showing. "Wasn't the smartest idea."

"Hey, I always speak my mind", Tig defended himself, placing a hand on his chest. "Sometimes before I think about it."

"Clearly", the blonde muttered as he let a plume of smoke slide past his lips.

"Okay, that's enough", Chibs said, flashing both men a warning look. "We have t' wait, there's not much else we can do."

While the small group outside discussed what they should and shouldn't do, Josy sat nervously on her chair, impatiently waiting for Happy to return with their daughter.

When she heard Happy's heavy footsteps and the happy, almost squeaky babbling of a child, she shot up, nervously kneading her hands while her heart almost jumped out of her chest.

Happy shot her a weak smile. "This is Esmee, our daughter."

Quickly noticing that Josy was unable to move, or simply didn't dare to interact with Esmee, Happy lifted the one-year-old into his arms and slowly closed the distance between him and Josy, who took a step back, swallowing, but then looked at Esmee, taking in everything little detail.

And to say that the Lowman woman was astonished was an understatement. Josy could hardly believe how much the little girl resembled her. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't deny being the mother.

As similar as the two's hair color was, it was the little girl's greenish shimmering eyes that took Josy's breath away. Esmee even had a few brown spots in them, just like Josy herself.

A horde of freckles were spread across her tiny face, most of them sitting on Esmee's small nose, which definitely resembled that of the man on whose hip the one-year-old was sitting. At least she had something from her father. But other than that, the girl was the spitting image of her mother.

It was the broad smile, so innocent and content, that made Josy reach out and finally dare to seek some closeness. As if she were touching porcelain, with caution and care, Josy let her fingertips dance over Esmee's cheek.

New tears covered her eyes as Esmee's eyes met hers, the first intense look shared by mother and daughter. There was pure curiosity in Esmee's eyes as she babbled quietly, the 'words' almost just a whisper. Nevertheless, the girl clung to her father, her tiny hand closed clutching the leather on his shoulders.

Josy, on the other hand, was still full of enthusiasm, admiration and melancholy. She had missed all of that, the first year of her daughter's life, and even a few months more.

Her daughter. Jesus, that sounded so strange and yet so beautiful.

"Dada?" Esmee's tiny face scrunched up in confusion, her gaze fixed on Happy while her finger pointed at Josy.

"That'sᅳ" still sure of what he wanted to answer, Happy stopped himself just in time as he looked at Josy. Even though Esmee probably wouldn't understand what was going on anyway, he wanted  Josy's permission. "Is it okay for you to let her know who you really are?"

Josy hesitated for a moment, but finally nodded. "I mean, it's the truth, right?"

The hint of a smile was now plastered on her lips as she looked at the tall, heavily tattooed biker, relief shimmering in his dark orbs when she gave him permission to tell Esmee who she was.

"It is", he grunted with a nod before slowly holding Esmee out to her, offering Josy to take the little girl. "You can hand her back to me anytime, little girl."

Her heart skipped a beat and a blush crossed her cheeks when he called her 'little girl' again and Happy could tell that it did something to her. Which he found great. And maybe, maybe it would help bring back her memories somehow and somedayᅳ or at least a few pieces of it.

"Oᅳ Okay, sure." Unable to suppress the rising nervousness, Josy held out her arms, waiting if Esmee was even ready for that. "You want to come to me?"

After a moment of hesitation and another look that the one-year-old exchanged with her father to make sure he was still there, Esmee stretched out her small arms and a few seconds later sat on the unknown woman's hip instead of her father's.

"Hi", Josy whispered lovingly, gently rocking the toddler in her arms while the biggest smile slowly formed on her lips, reaching from ear to ear. "You're Esmee, right?"

"Esmee." Shyly, the little girl pointed her finger at her chest, smiling sheepishly.

"Dada," she then added, her finger now pointing at Happy, who was standing next to them with a contented expression, always staying close as he had promised.

"That's a beautiful name." Josy was aware that the one-year-old didn't really understand what was being said to her, but she knew that children reacted to voices, and could judge who was nice and who wasn't. "You wanna play something together?"

"Pway!" A happy squeak filled the room, drawing a raspy laugh from Happy and a proud smile from Josy.

"Uh, do you have toys here?" Josy lifted her head, her eyes immediately meeting those of the Tacoma Killer.

He was standing so close that she could smell him again and feel the warmth radiating from his body. "If it's okay for you if I play with herᅳ but I think otherwise she'll just get bored if I sit here and stare at her for hours", she added with a small laugh.

"No, it's okayᅳ that way you can build a bond with her", Happy croaked, suppressing the urge to put a hand on her back and lead the way. "Come on, her stuff's in my room."

"Yeah, right", Josy mumbled, more nervous than before. What if she wasn't able to form a bond with Esmee? Sighing, she shook off the thoughts and followed Happy to the back with a frown. "You have rooms here? Does that mean you live here with Esmee?"

"No", Happy answered with a hint of sadness in his raspy tone. The fact that Josy really couldn't remember anything at all, nothing from the good times the two of them had, also left its mark on him. "The rooms are simply for those who want to save on rent and are alone anyway. Esmee and I still live in our house."

Although Happy, which he didn't mention, had been unable to enter the house at all for the first few weeks after Josy's death, let alone the shared bedroom. It was only about half a year ago that he had managed to bring himself to enter the room and look through Josy's things.

Josy stopped in her tracks, cradling Esmee closer. "Is the house far from here?"

"No, why?", the SAA wanted to know before letting out a suspicious grunt. "You want to see it? It's only fifteen minutes away."

The redhead shrugged her shoulders shyly, but her eyes gave away that she wanted to see the houseᅳ to find out more about her past. "Would it bother you?"

Happy shook his head, his features hard but a smile still dancing around his lips. "Not at all."

When Josy mirrored his smile, he felt a warmth spreading through his whole body and at the same time a stinging pain formed in his chest, the fear of losing her again ruining the positive thoughts.

That's why he had to try everything in his power to keep her here, to show her that Charming was her home.

ᅳ

THE SUN SHONE through the white, almost transparent curtains and cast a warm light on the carpet on which Esmee was sitting. The girl concentrated on piling one building block on top of the next, the tip of her tongue pressed against her upper lip, before knocking the tower over with a loud giggle and starting all over again.

After the accident, the redhead had been sure that she would never feel complete happiness again, but the feeling of emptiness that sat in her chest for over a year now had suddenly disappeared the more time she spent with Esmee and Happy.

In the last five hours that she had spent building towers with Esmee, singing songs and painting with the girl all while Happy sat there contentedly watching the scene, her chest had filled with ever-growing warmth, replacing the empty feeling.

God, she couldn't remember ever being as carefree and happy as she was right now, her heart filled with nothing but love and joy. The bond that Happy had hoped would develop quickly was already thereᅳ after all, Josy had carried the one-year-old under her heart for nine months.

Esmee's shyness had vanished as quickly as it had come while Josy was playing with her, and the girl enjoyed the full attention she was getting. And while the two were playing, Happy had disappeared into the kitchen about thirty minutes ago, assuring Josy that he didn't need any help.

By now the smell of freshly cooked tomato sauce was in the air, the individual herbs and spices a fresh, nice smelling mixture. Josy's mouth watered when Happy came into the living room, where the dining area was, with two plates and put everything on the table.

"Dinner is ready", he announced before disappearing into the kitchen again to get Esmee's bowl and water bottle. "Come here, bug."

"Getti!" The one-year-old pushed herself up with her hands, still a little unsteady on her feet, before toddling towards the table with a big smile. "Esmee hungry!"

"Then let's eat", Josy said with a soft chuckle. As she was about to get up, Happy held out his hand to her.

With a sheepish smile, Josy grabbed it, biting her lip as Happy's huge hand closed around hers, and let him help her to her feet.

"Thank you", she mumbled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "You didn't have to make an extra plate for me."

"Stop saying shit like that." With a quiet grunt, still holding her hand and ignoring her slightly shocked look at his rough tone, he gently pulled her with him. "I'm not letting my wife watch us enjoy our food and not give her anything."

He had also noticed how dangerously skinny Josy was. The redhead had always been petite, but before the accident she had a healthy weight, which was not the case now. And yet she was still the most beautiful woman in his eyes.

"Then at least let me do the dishes if you've already cooked", she told him with a gentle firmness as she sat down, smiling as Happy put the one-year-old in her high chair before sitting down, too.

"You're not here to clean up, little girl", he argued sternly, leaving no room for discussion. "I just want you to spend time with Esmee, that's all. She deserves to get to know her mother."

As everyone started eating, the sound of cutlery on porcelain bouncing off the walls, Josy chewed on the inside of her cheek, her next carefully chosen words only a whisper.

"And what if I wanna spend time with you too?" Her green eyes rested on him, the slightest grin on her face as he was now the one blushing; at least almost. "I mean, wouldn't that make sense? After all, we're..well, married. Or were."

Happy stared at her, putting down his fork. "So you're considering staying here? Giving Charming another chance?"

"I don't know." Josy let out a deep sigh, the uncertainty from before returning. "I want to see my child grow up. And yes, I also wanna get to know you again. Maybeᅳ", she swallowed quietly, fiddling with the cutlery next to her plate. "Maybe it could workᅳ but if you've found someone else in the meantime that's totally cool wᅳ"

"I haven't", Happy cut her off quickly, his tone full of sincerity. "I wouldn't have let another woman into my life, Josy. You were the first and only one who ever got that close to me."

"Really?", she asked softly, visibly moved by his words. Sure, it could all be a lie, but then the man in front of her would be a pretty good actor.

"Yeah. So yes, I would like you to stay here. I'd appreciate it if you would give me the chance to get to know me again, to get to know our daughter", he said honestly before nodding towards her plate. "Eat, we can talk about the rest later."

"Sounds like a plan", she agreed with a determined nod, her breath fluttering as she looked down at her plate.

Her stomach growled at the sight and apparently the food seemed to taste pretty good. A glance at Esmee confirming this, the girl shoveling one spoonful after the other into her mouth as if someone could take her bowl away at any moment.

But Josy couldn't, she couldn't eat. And yet, when she felt Happy's worried gaze on her, she forced herself to at least eat some of the food.

ᅳ

JOSY'S FEET CARRIED her from one room to the next while Happy put Esmee to bed and offered her to have a look around. Hoping that the house would bring back some memories, Josy was disappointed once again.

Nothing. Again.

Nevertheless, she liked the house, the individual rooms that were lovingly decorated. Pretty sure that Happy wasn't the one who placed value on decoration, it was probably she who had taken care of the furnishings back then. At least everything in the house matched her style.

Like her apartment in Roseville, the house had a lot of plants, some of them wilted and in need of care, others bursting with lifeᅳ the ones that hardly needed anything to grow.

White , almost transparent curtains hung in front of the windows, on the sides of each one a thicker curtain in a different color, mainly a dark goldenrod. The dark wooden floorboards were old but well preserved, covered by a few carpets, some plain, some colorful.

The furniture could definitely have come from the sixties and seventies and some of it was actually that old, like the dining table and chairs, for example. In between, however, there were always newer items. A good mix and exactly Josy's taste.

However, it wasn't the furniture or the style of the house that she was so impressed by. It was the feeling of coming home immediately after walking through the door hours ago. It had felt like she had never left, like she had lived here all her life and collected beautiful memories.

"She's sleeping." Happy's deep, raspy voice sounded behind her, startling her briefly. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine", she chuckled softly, her hand pressed to her chest as her heart still beat a little too fast. "The floorboards are so old and I still didn't hear you comingᅳ that's impressive."

"The house has its advantages and disadvantages", he replied with a hint of amusement, pointing to the dark brown leather sofa. "Wanna sit down?"

"Yes, please." Josy sat down on the couch, immediately letting out a content sigh as she sank into the cushion. "Wow, I don't think I've ever sat on a couch this comfortable."

"It's from your mom, you wanted to keep it. And we've never regretted it", he explained, shrugging his shoulders as he sat down next to her with his body turned towards her and his arm stretched out on the armrest, his fingertips brushing Josy's arm. "You barely touched your food earlier, why?"

"Wait, the house belonged to my mom?", the redhead asked, astonished, but that would explain these nostalgic feelings.

Goosebumps spread across her skin as his fingers brushed against her skin. Biting her lower lip, she leaned sideways into the cushion, also facing Happy, and studied the man for a long moment, his eyes never leaving her. She ignored his question in the hope that he would simply forget.

"Yeah, until she died. She left the house to you, but you didn't get it until you turned eighteen", he explained to help her memory lapse. "Until then, you lived with Gemma, Clay and Jax. The woman you met earlierᅳ she was a close friend of your mother. At least that's what you told me once."

Sighing, Josy tilted her head back, shaking it slightly before looking at Happy again. "It's really annoying when you can't remember shitᅳ it's just frustrating."

"I won't say I can imagine it, because I can't, but we're all here to help you", he said, his tone dead serious as he looked at her intensely and reflexively tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You didn't answer my question, Josy."

Her heart nearly exploded as his fingertips brushed her skin again, this time to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. It was such a small touch, and yet the effect was huge.

Which is why she quickly grabbed Happy's hand when he pulled it away after hearing her swallow, not sure if he'd crossed a line or not.

"It's okay, leave it there", she murmured with a soft smile, immediately nuzzling her cheek against his palm. "It feels goodᅳ so comforting, familiar."

"Josy, my question", he grumbled gently, without wanting to put too much pressure on herᅳ but he wouldn't let himself be fobbed off so easily.

"Okay, fine", she said with a sigh, looking at him just as intensely as he looked at her. "After the accident, I don't know, a lot has changed. I was in pain, then this constant feeling of emptiness in my chest, the frustration of not remembering anything. All of that just took its toll on me. My appetite, which was barely there anyway, eventually disappeared completely. I didn't realize how bad it was until my doctor told me that I was on the verge of anorexia."

"The fuck, Josy?!" Happy sat bolt upright, worry carved into his hard features. "You have a fuckin' eating disorder?"

"Apparently so", the redhead answered calmly with a barely noticeable shrug of her shoulders. "But I'm already working on it with my therapist. My dad forced me to seek help, so.."

"At least he did one thing right for once", the SAA snorted, shaking his head. As much as he despised Arthur O'Connell, he was grateful the man had gotten his daughter the help she needed. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No, I have to fight my way out of this all by myself." Missing the warmth of his hand that he had pulled back, Josy placed his hand back on her cheek, smiling. "Can we just enjoy the moment and not talk about this right now?"

"We're not done with this yet", Happy grunted sternly, almost scoldingly, but he didn't want to ruin the moment and finally gave in, rubbing his thumb against Josy's skin, earning a grateful hum from the young woman.

For Josy, the moment couldn't have been more beautiful. The sun was now much less aggressive. Instead of shining brightly through the windows, it now only cast a golden light into the spacious room, bathing the living room in a golden shimmer.

The evening had always been Josy's favorite time of day, which Happy could still remember well. And now, seeing her closing her eyes and bathing in the golden light, her cheek nuzzled against his brittle palm, he felt the longing urge to kiss her, to feel her lips and taste her again.

He didn't, but his hard gaze rested still on her lips, a smile tugging at his own as hers curled into one.

"I know you're looking at me", she hummed, her eyelids slowly fluttering open. "That's nice, so peacefulᅳ I haven't felt this good in ages."

"Then stay, Josy, stay here with me, with Esmee", he told her, even a little pleading and urgency in his tone. "We don't have to pretend everything is back to normal and act like nothin' ever happened, we can take things slow."

Josy's smile suddenly wavered. "Iᅳ I have to go back to Roseville. I mean, I still don't know you. We don't even know if we would still work together."

God, that sounded so awful. She sighed deeply as Happy straightened his shoulders, his features hardening after the words fell from her lips, which she immediately regretted. "I mean, I know you, but without the memories. Shit, this all feels so weird", she uttered, desperately searching for the right words. "Besides, I have to go back if we don't want my dad and sister to get suspicious. At least until we have solid evidence, Happy."

"Sure, I get it", he grunted, slowly withdrawing his hand. This time Josy didn't reach for it, instead she let him stand up. "I don't know why I expected we could pick up where we left off."

"Please Happy, don't make this harder than it already is." Josy jumped up, reaching for his wrist. "I want to do this, to get to the bottom of my past, to get to know you properly again. But I have to know who is responsible for this, who kept me away from you and our daughter."

Happy hated the thought of having to let her go again. But as much as he didn't want to admit it, she had her own life now. A job, probably her own four walls, a life of her own far away from Charming.

But she was rightᅳ they had to find out who was behind this intrigue. And he or she would have to face the consequences.

"Promise me to come back, Josy." He was the now one who seemed vulnerable, which was no surpriseᅳ after all, he had to let his wife go a second time, even though he knew this time that she was alive. "I can't say goodbye to you a second time, Josy."

"Of course I'll be back!" Without thinking too much about it, the redhead wrapped her arms around his waist, her embrace stronger than expected. "You can come over with Esmee any time, but we have to be careful, otherwise we could get caught and we'll never find out who's behind this."

She closed her eyes again as his strong arms wrapped themselves around her petite body, holding her close while she listened to his rapid heartbeat.

"And I'll come visit you", she promised, lifting her head slightly so she could look at him. "I think we can do this, Happy."

Happy nodded silently as he pulled her back against his chest and ran his fingers through her hair, swallowing softly as he stared at the picture above the fireplace showing a heavily pregnant Josy and himself, both smiling at each other.

He wanted that back. His family, his wifeᅳ his fuckin' happiness that he had never really cared about before he met Josy.

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