THE INSISTENT BANGING on her apartment door drew an annoyed groan from the redhead. As if she didn't have enough problems, enough things to worry and think about, she now had to face her sister or her father, probably more the former.

When her father came by, it was only to tell her to finally look for something bigger and nicer instead of this old apartment which was on the first floor of a large family house and was accessible via its own staircase on the side.

While Arthur, her father, and her sister, Debbie, placed great value on luxurious minimalism, Josy was the complete opposite. Plants stood in every free corner, old furniture in seventies style made her feel at home, as well as dark wooden floors, colorful carpets placed over them and lots of decorations on the painted walls.

As she shuffled into the hallway, Josy noticed for the first time that she hardly had any pictures hanging on her walls because, strangely enough, she hardly owned any. Only a few photos with her father or Debbie were given to her weeks after the accident to try and bring back her memories, all stored in a small box with a few other things that were supposedly from her childhood. It was kind of sad that it was only one box, a small one at that.

But not a single photo showed her with another man or when she was pregnant. She also had no C-section scar or any stretch marks. Of course, she knew that not every woman who had carried a child was affected by this, but there had to be at least one thing that indicated that she had been pregnant.

Sighing softly, Josy shook her head, her thoughts already racing. She hadn't slept a freaking second in the last twenty-four hours, her head was too loud, the carousel of thoughts driving her nuts, which is why she had called in sick this morning in the hope of finally being able to make a decision or at least get some sleep.

Taking another deep breath, she prepared herself for Debbie's lecture. Just from the way she knocked, Josy knew that her sister had a lot to say.

"Debbie, hi", the redhead greeted her clearly upset sister with a tight-lipped smile and the brunette wasted no time in pushing past Josy to storm into the apartment, leaving her younger sister by the door.

"Sure, come on in", Josy muttered, her usually soft voice dripping with sarcasm. "What brings you here?" 

Debbie whipped around, her hair slipping off her shoulders by the fast movement, before her piercing gaze fell on Josy, her tone sharp. "What did those..bikers..want from you?"

"Hi Josy, glad to see you too. How's your day?", Josephine taunted with a bittersweet smile, earning an annoyed glance from Debbie in return. After closing the door with a squeak, Josy crossed her arms over her chest. "How do you even know about this?"

"Summer was worried and called me. Told me about it after you called in sick this morning without a reason", Debbie snarled, still visibly upset with all the huffing and puffing. "Is it because of them? Did they threaten you? Dad willᅳ"

"Dad won't do shit because you won't tell him, Debs", Josy interrupted sharply before Debbie could talk herself into rage. Her eyes narrowed skeptically as she took slow steps towards the brunette. "Why are you so upset about this? Is there something you wanna tell me?"

The older O'Connell stared at her sister, surprised by the determined glint flickering in Josy's green eyes. And for a brief moment, for the first time since the accident, Debbie was afraid of saying something wrong, something that could get her and their father in serious trouble.

But Debbie wouldn't be Debbie if she didn't have the perfect poker face. With one eyebrow lifted, her handbag resting in the crook of her arm, the brunette snorted, clearly feeling offended. "What should I want to tell you? I'm here because I'm worried. We almost lost you once already, Josy!"

"Sure, I'm sure that's the reason", Josy muttered with a sigh, just shaking her head at that. What kind of answer did she expect?

If there was any truth to the story the men had told her yesterday, Debbie would be pretty stupid if she told her the truth.

"What's wrong with you, Josy? What did those guys say?" Debbie urged, walking further into the apartment while taking a look around, constantly wrinkling her nose. "You know Dad would offer you a floor in his house. Why don't you finally move in with him?"

"Nothing, they thought I was someone else and apologized for it afterwards, that's all." The lie fell more easily from Josy's lips than she had expected, but it was better to keep the truth to herself for now.

Rolling her eyes at Debbie's next words, she followed the brunette with shuffling steps. "Because I'm twenty-seven years old and I like to live my own lifeᅳ which means I don't want Dad's money, or a job at your law firm, or to live with him."

"Are you sure that's all?" Debbie inquired skeptically before waving her hand and setting her bag on one of the chairs in the dining room. "But this?", the brunette spun her finger around. "You barely have any space, Josy. Besides, you would earn a lot more if you started working for us. It's a family business after all."

"Yeah, pretty sure, Debs, I was there after all", the redhead murmured, her sister's constant nagging slowly getting on her last nerve. Her eyes widened as she spotted the napkin on the table, which she shoved into the pocket of her jeans as quickly and inconspicuously as possible while Debbie checked her phone.

With a clearing of her throat, she leaned against the round glass table, a bittersweet plastic smile on her lips. "I know, you've told me that a hundred times since I've been back on my feet. But I'm happy with what I have."

"God, you're so boring, Josy. You could have so much better." Shaking her head, Debbie finally gave up, at least for today. "How's it going with Brian? Are the two of you finally going on a date?"

The grin and Debbie's sudden change of mood when she mentioned Brian, one of her father's colleagues, made Josy want to throw up, the bile already stuck in her throat. For weeks, the two of them had been trying to force her to go on a date with the arrogant guy who had no idea how to treat a woman.

"No, and it won't happen, Debbie", she chirped and glanced at the wall clock, feigning a surprised face. "Oh shit, I completely forgot that I have a doctor's appointment", Josy exclaimed, adding a brief explanation since Debbie would ask anyway. "You know, because of the poor vision in my left eye caused by the accident."

"I didn't know you had an appointment today. Why didn't you tell Dad or me?" The brunette was skeptical once again. Studying her sister with a scrutinizing look, Debbie stood up, slowly grabbing her bag. "Want me to drive you?"

"Because I forgot, Debs", the redhead answered with a sigh, sending Debbie a small smile anyway. "I'm really grateful for your help, for driving me around all the timeᅳ but I can do most stuff alone again."

It was obvious that Debbie wasn't entirely happy with the woman's answer, but she still forced a smile onto her lips. A smile that didn't even come close to reaching her eyes. "Okay, I understand that you want to slowly become more independent again. Are you going to call me if you need anything?"

"Yes, I will, you know that", Josy assured her with a nod. As different as the sisters were, Josy was still grateful for all the support she had gotten over the past months.

After all, the redhead didn't know what the real reason was behind the feigned worry.

ᅳ

JOSY STARED AT THE BUILDING across the street, her fingers clenched around the steering wheel, holding onto it as if her life depended on it. The napkin with the address was lying next to her on the passenger seat, her bag underneath.

The six-hour drive without getting any sleep in over twenty-four hours had left its mark. Tiredness was carved into her features, dark shadows showed through her concealer under her eyes, two cans of energy drinks and a cup of coffee stuck in the cup holders.

Debbie's behavior had raised more questions and fueled the carousel of thoughts. Josy simply had to know if there was a spark of truth in the bikers' storyᅳ or if it was even the whole truth. At least that would explain why since the accident it felt like a large part of her was missing.

It didn't matter how many stories Arthur and Debbie told her, it always felt like there was much more to tell.

On the other hand, she wished so much that there was no truth to it. The O'Connell woman had a feeling that she would feel guilty forever if she had actually left a grieving husband and a child behind, even though she was still alive.

Even with memory loss, with amnesia, it had to be possible to at least remember such important things, right? God, she would feel so bad, so awful.

Another hour passed, another hour in which she considered just driving back to Roseville and forgetting all this. But a little voice in her head kept whispering that she would regret it someday if she didn't try to find out the truth.

Her eyes slowly began to burn, the tiredness leaving more and more marks, her fingers on the verge of going numb from the vice-like grip around the steering wheel.

"Come on, Josy, get your shit together", she muttered, hoping to encourage herself as she kept staring at the open gate. "You can do this."

Could she? It didn't feel like it, but her body worked automatically as she slowly slipped out the door, careful not to run in front of a car. Since the accident, which she could only remember fragments of, she had become cautious whenever she stepped onto the street.

Leaving her bag and the rest in the car for now, the redhead clutched the keys in her hand and slowly headed towards the building, the day so hot that she could even feel the heat stored in the asphalt through her white Converse.

Her first impression when she entered the property was different than she had expected. There was a car repair shop in the yard, at least it looked like one, enough parking spaces for customers. On the other side there were Harleys lined up, parked neatly next to each other. At the moment she counted five, but she had the feeling that there were more.

Confusion set in as she kept looking around,  so distracted by her surroundings that she wasn't paying attention to anything else. It felt so familiar that an instant warmth spread in her chest that eased the nervousness.

Only when she heard an 'Oh my God' coming from the direction of the workshop did the redhead spin around. She was greeted by a slim woman with dark hair and blonde highlights who must've been in her fifties, her hands gripping her upper arms tightly.

"It's really you." Completely perplexed, the older woman stared at her, turning her from side to side to study her closely. "So they haven't lost their minds."

Josy held her breath, her heart racing as she realized that the men's story must've been true after all. Tears burned in her eyes as the realization hit her, proving that her family was playing some sick gameᅳ the people she thought she could trust. And they had taken advantage of her condition back then.

"Iᅳ" Josy tried, she tried to find the right words, to say something, anything. But her body wasn't working with her mind at the moment.

"It's okay, baby, we'll sort this all out." The older woman patted her cheek caringly, a warm smile on her lips alongside her intimidating appearance. "I'm Gemmaᅳ in case you don't remember."

"Gemma", Josy repeated in a whisper as she was gently pushed forward, further and further towards the other building. "Iᅳ I don't remember", the young woman stammered more to herself.

This was so fucked up and so fuckin' frustrating. So frustrating that Josy didn't know whether she wanted to cry or scream.

Once inside, after the heavy door had closed behind them, Gemma shooed a prospect out of the way and called out five different names. Josephine recognized some of them. Some of them were the names of the guys that had visited her.

Jax, Juice, Chibs and Tig. Only Happy was new to her, a name that caused her to twist her face thoughtfully. Who called their child Happy? Was that even his real name? Probably not, after all, someone here was called Juiceᅳ which was another name you wouldn't give your child at birth either.

"Sit down, sweetheart." Without giving Josy a choice, Gemma pushed her down on one of the many chairs in the next moment. "Rat, bring her a glass of water!"

Josy flinched slightly as the woman's loud, commanding voice boomed through the large room and the sound of it bounced off the walls. Gemma definitely had a loud organ, that much was certain.

"Jesus, I was really worried about the boys when they told me they had seen you", the matriarch said with an incredulous shake of her head and a snort. "But here you areᅳ it's really you."

"Why can't I remember anything?" Josy's voice cracked, her lips starting to tremble. Perfect, now she was embarrassing herself in front of people she couldn't remember because she had no control over her emotions. "Nothing here brings back any memories."

"They will come back, baby, we'll help you." Gemma placed her warm hand over Josy's to give it a gentle pat, her expression sincere. "Your husband will find out the truth, trust me."

"I can't believe all this", her voice thick with emotion, a big lump sitting in her throat, Josy let out a strangled sob.

Gemma squeezed the girl's hand. "It's okay, baby, let it out."

The redhead opened her mouth again to say something, but several men came from the back, and she recognized every single face. They were the same four men who had visited her.

Juice, a broad smile now on his lips, practically stormed towards her, looking like he was about to hug her. But he didn't, keeping a safe distance. "I knew you were coming!"

"I had to..", Josy answered meekly, the slightest smile on her lips as she saw the genuine joy in the eyes of the man with the strange haircut. "Your visit left me overthinking and I had to see if there's any truth to your story."

"Hey, lass", greeted the man with the scars on his face, his permanent smile widening as his lips curled into a warm, welcoming smile. "I'm glad ye' decided t' do this."

"We all are, darlin'", Jax spoke up, squeezing her shoulder appreciatively without being pushy. "Thank you, Josy."

"It's okay, I was curious myself." She didn't flinch at all when he touched her, instead it felt as if she had known all the people here foreverᅳ without knowing them. At least she still couldn't remember anything. "And if what you're saying is really true, which I have less and less doubt about, I want to know the whole truth."

"We'll help you find out the truth, doll ", Tig chimed in, sitting down on a chair next to her, relieved to see her here. Nevertheless, a grin crossed his features. "Your brunette friend here too?"

"Summer?" Josy raised both eyebrows, a snort of amusement falling from her lips, even though she was completely agitated. But the man's words made her laugh. "No, she's in Roseville and will probably stay there."

"Ahh, that's a shame", Tig sighed theatrically, throwing his head back briefly, whereupon Josy just chuckled and the others shook their heads while muttering something incomprehensible under their breath or mumbling the words into their beards.

The only one missing was this Happy guy, who came from the back last and a little later than the others. The man stopped abruptly when he spotted the redhead, his eyes almost falling out of their sockets.

All whispers that were floating around the room stopped, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife as the two stared at each other.

Josy unconsciously held her breath as the dark, almost black eyes stared into her soul, the intimidating, tall and heavily tattooed biker practically tearing her apart with his stoic gaze.

The heavy silence weighed on them and Josy didn't even notice that she almost crushed Gemma's hand in hers as her green eyes stared at the little girl. Her hair as red as Josy's, her eyes shimmering green as they rested curiously on the new woman, the one-year-old stuck half a fist into her mouth.

And Happy stared at her like she had three heads because he was sure that he had just finally lost his last bit of sanity. Grateful to have human reflexes, he cradled a babbling Esmee closer. Otherwise, because of the shock, she would've probably slipped out of his arms.

Why was everyone else so calm while his dead wife sat in the middle of the room. His mind was playing tricks on him, right? It probably was just a dream and he just needed to wake up. There was no other explanation for this.

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