The room was oddly silent, almost painful. A faint sound of finger nails tapping on an old wooden chair while the clock ticked in the background was all that was heard. The tapping stopped and they were suddenly picked at this time, the lilac purple color was chipping away. There were scars on the palms of her hands from the previous summer, though the nail picking didn't start till after.

"We have about twenty minutes left in our session, Lila." the older woman spoke as she stared across at the couch, "Do you want to get anything off your mind?"

Her foot tapped, her knees exposed over the school uniforms skirt. Traveling up her body, her face stared across at the councilor. She was beautiful, truly, so beautiful. Yet, for such a beautiful girl, she seemed so angry and had a lot of tension build up. Grace and Lacey thought counciling would be good for Lila, especially after she came home with a black eye.

But the other girl had it worse.

"What happened to your eye?" Dr.Speers asked her patient.

"Got into a fight." Lila said back, the nail picking was worse suddenly, looking at the clock.

"You know she killed her brother and her best friend, right?" the nails on chalk board voice of Brandy Kelly rung in Lilas ears. It was the first day back at school, she'd just gotten her school uniform fitted for senior year, all her books and classes ready for her. The school in the village was small, everyone knew everyone and that meant they knew exactly what you did, "I bet she killed her friends too. It was in the news paper that they definitely didn't make it out of that storm."

The sound of a locker was slammed shut and before Brandy had the chance to react, she was grabbed by the collar of her uniform and had a fist to her mouth.

"Why don't you tell me about the summer." Dr.Speers tried again with Lila, though the blonde hadn't said a word the whole forty-five minutes she'd sat infront of her, "Help get a few things off your mind?"

"My friends died." Lila stated in disbelief, "What else do you want me to say?"

"Tell me about them." she encouraged, getting a scoff in return, "Or would you rather talk about what happened over the summer?"

Lila bite her nails now instead of picked at them. They'd usually bleed, but she got lucky today, "This summer..."

Dr.Speers waited for her to go on. Lila paused as she looked up and stared across at the women, "Was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Dr.Speers hadn't expected that, especially not after all the things her moms had told her. Lila sensed the confusion and laughed suddenly, making the councilor jump because she hadn't expected it, "Before my friends died, we were happy. All of us, I was happy."

"Even after your accident?" the woman asked, "Even when you had to heal on your own because you didn't have your pain killers?"

"You don't get it." Lila said back to her with a harsh glare, "You don't get to talk about Rafe when you don't know a thing about him."

"Then tell me." she encouraged. Lacey saw it more then Grace did, maybe because she understood Rafe so well, but she knew a lot of Lilas pain came from him over the summer. She saw it, she felt it, she knew that only the highest paid councilor would be able to get it out of her.

"He wasn't as bad as what my moms told you he was." Lila said back, leaning in her chair. She'd get scolded for not sitting ladylike if she was in school, "He had a problem with drugs. I don't get why no one realizes that it fucks with your head and makes you a complete different person."

"How was he when he wasn't using?" Dr.Speers asked her gently, "If you're up for talking."

"Rafe is sweet, and he knows what to say to me. He isn't the best person but he wasn't the worst when he wasn't so high. He did a lot of bad things but that wasn't him, you know? He was bad off, on horrible drugs, like, really horrible. He wasn't constantly so..." Lila trailed off because she didn't know the word. She made eye contact with her councilor and sighed, "I doesn't matter. You're just gonna judge me and think i'm a idiot for staying with him."

"I don't think you're a idiot, and i'm not judging you." she reassured Lila, because it was clear so many people have before, "Has someone done that to you? Judged you?"

"Everyone." Lila corrected her, "They think i'm stupid, and that I have issues. And I don't blame them, I was stupid and a lot of things I did because of him was ridiculous. But Rafe needed me, I couldn't just walk away from him."

"You say needed." Dr.Speers nodded her way, "Not anymore?"

"We broke up when I moved back." the blonde said back and broke her eye contact again, "My moms don't want me talking to him so they have his number blocked on the phone bill. I only get to call him on the pay phone at the end of the road."

"That's hard on you, I can imagine." the older women was attempting to be gentle with her, because it was clear she had too much in her head to not say anything, "Why don't your moms want you to talk to him?"

Lila hesitated, "They don't get it."

"Do you think anyone gets it?" she asked back, clicking her pen.

"Rafe does." Lila said back to her, "When he wants to."

"When he's not high?" she hummed.

"Yeah." Lila said back, she started picking at her nails again, "I know that he's not that good of a person."

Dr.Speers listened to her closely.

"But when I think about all the things he's done, all I can see is what caused it in the first place." Lila explained, she'd never said it before, not out loud, "And it's not a excuse, really. But I see the drugs, and his dad, and his lack of a mom. I know it's wrong, and it makes me look like i'm a idiot, but I feel guilty."

"You feel guilty for the things that cause him to act out?" she asked, her lizard like eyes staring hard.

"No, for not being able to fix them." the Griffin girl said back with a dumbfounded look, "Do you get it?"

"You care about him because you see past all the bad, you see the root of the problem." Dr.Speers nodded her head at Lilas words, "You want to fix him."

"Maybe." Lila said back with a shrug, "But I know I want to protect him. That's the bad part. He did something really bad, and I couldn't even bring myself to get angry because I tried to justify it with a issue with his dad. That's what made me a idiot, but I can't think about any of that when he's with me."

Dr.Speers avoided telling her that it had been manipulation, not yet was she going to tell her that.

"Did the miscarriage make it worse on you? Your guilt?" Dr.Speers asked. Lilas look changed, she seemed to be back to how she was before she started talking, she began toying with a ring, that was too big for her, around her thumb, "If you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to."

Lila sat there a moment, she didn't say anything. She bit her nails, wincing as the red blood filled under of her nail. She hid her hand under her leg and sighed, "I wasn't gonna keep it or anything. I was just waiting, until we got back here so all my friends didn't have to know. It wasn't that I was sad because I wasn't pregnant anymore... it was just- I wanted to get the cells out on my own time, my decision, when I was ready."

"You felt like you didn't have control of your body." Dr.Speers confirmed for her.

"Yeah, exactly." Lila said back with a nod, "And the timing was horrible. My friends just died and Rafe-"

She stopped. Because she'd never tell anyone he'd shot the sheriff.

"I just want to be home again, and I'll be okay." Lila said back with a long sigh, "Being here, it's not good for me. I hate it here. I want my friends. Kie, Pope, JJ. That's my home, not here in this stupid village. I can't be me here, everyone hates me. I hate it here."

"Do your moms know this?" the woman asked, clicking her pen.

"They don't care. They never cared what I wanted or what was good for me. They hate me too." Lila went on, she received a look, "The wreck, that I was driving in, that killed my brother... they resent me for that."

"Have they told you?" she asked her.

"No, but I know they do. I can see it." Lila said back, she stood up suddenly because she felt like she hadn't been able to sit still. There was a little blood stain on the couch from her finger nail, "No one in the OBX hated me, no one knew about what I did. I had a family, I felt loved and like I didn't have to be someone I wasn't. I can't be here, I hate it here."

She said the phrase so many times a day, it seemed so natural to do so.

Dr.Speers looked at the clock, "I'm afraid we're out of time. But i'll see you tomorrow, Lila."

Lila looked at the clock as the women stood again. She shut her notebook and looked at the blonde teen, "Could I leave you with something to think on? I see that you miss you friends a lot, your life back on the island. You don't have to let that go, it's still apart of you."

While Dr.Speers didn't mean to strike a idea, Lilas mind immediately went to a extremely dangerous and risky one.

"No, I hear you, I hear you." Lila said over the phone, JJ on the other line talking extremely fast, "You read my mind JJ, I was just thinking the same thing."

Lila hit the end call, because JJ confirmed her plan when he gave her an extremely important phone call. Lila looked back at her councilors office, before she started walking home in her school uniform, the sunset behind her and a plan racing through her mind.

"You coming in soon, babe?" Lacey asked as she poked her head out of the back porch, looking at Lila. She took a dive into the pool when she got home and was now sitting on the chairs, hair soaked, with a notebook, "Moms ordering pizza."

"Maybe in a little bit." Lila said back with a small grin, "Long day."

"You'll tell me about it when you get in?" the woman asked with a knowing look.

"Of course." Lila said back with a faint smile. Lacey grinned and gave her a wink, shutting the patio door and going back in. Lilas smile fell as she looked back down at her notebook.

Dear, moms...

It was exactly 3:06 in the morning. Lila sat on her bed. She was picking at her nails, biting on the skin around her lips. Rafes ring around her thumb was twisted and fumbled with multiple times. She looked at the time again, sighing silently as she got out of her bed. If made a small squeak, but not loud enough to hear down the hallway. Lilas room looked like her, with ghost story's all over her desk and dead lila flowers that she couldn't bring herself to throw away.

She had two small bags, a wallet full of money she got after she was heading home for her meeting earlier. She passed the baseball stadium, hearing them practicing on the field and snuck into the locker room to seal a few dollars from each of their wallets. It wasn't enough to make anyone notice; but after adding it all together, she had enough for now.

Her video camera sat on her desk, grabbing hold of it and sticking if into her bag. Lila hesitated but slowly pulled her bedroom door open. It squeaked, just like her bed did. Lila waited, wondering if it was loud enough to have her moms wake up. When a minute passed, she walking into the hallway. Their house wasn't big, one store and two bedrooms with a tiny living room and an even smaller kitchen.

Lilas bare feet stood on the kitchen tile, a pair of sandles in her right hand. She placed the notebook paper on the counter first and grabbed a granola bar and a water bottle.

Dear moms...

Im sorry. But I can't be
here, I hope you understand.
You know where I am, you know
who i'm with. I love you, please
don't hate me or call the police.
Im safe. I promise.

Love, Lila.

Lacey always left the car keys in a small bowl on the table, a few pennies and magnets were in it as well. Lila reached over and gentle pulled them out of the bowl, a small rattle they made but not loud enough to alarm her. Lila looked down the hallway again, finding it as empty as it was a few minutes ago. Her plan was going exactly how her and JJ discussed it over the phone.

With one more look, Lila opened the back door. They always left it unlocked. No crime ever happened in the village, everyone was too in touch with god to ever commit a crime. It's why everyone hated Lila so much, because they knew what happened in the car. No matter if it was a accident or not, they saw it as nothing but murder of her brother and friend.

Lila shut the door and jumped over her fence. She'd done it so many times now, sneaking out to call Rafe at the pay phone, that she was immune to the small splinter she'd get every time. It was harder with her bags, but she managed. The street was dark, only one street lamp that was enough for her to get toward the dark blue car. It was a old honda that needed a lot of work, but her moms didn't have enough money to fix it yet. Lila waited to see if the porch lights would come on, indicating her moms were awake.

The porch lights didn't come on once.

Lila pulled herself into the drivers seat. She hadn't driven a car since the accident, only the golf cart when Rafe took her golfing. Her bags were in the passengers seat, her phone in the cup holder. Lila inhaled and shut her eyes, "You can do it, babe."

Her eyes opened and her hands were on the steering wheel, her mind filled with what and who she was all going to. It was worth driving, she was sober, and she was going to drive no matter what had happened in her past. The car started up with one twist, which she was thankful for. She turned the head lights off, knowing they shined into her moms bedroom when she'd back out of the drive way. Instead it was easy, a small bump at the end, but she was on the road in just a few seconds.

She dialed the number when she got to the stop sign, putting it on speaker and letting it ring. Lila drove out of the neighborhood and was on the highway in no time. No one had been driving at this hour, just her.

"Did you chicken out?" JJ asked on the other line. He definitely just woke up.

"What happened to staying awake?" Lila asked with a snort, "You can't hang."

"Hang on, do I hear.. tires? Do I hear... Blinkers? Do I hear... Lila Griffin actually driving?" JJ went on over the phone, rustling around as the faint found of keys rattled.

"Don't sound so surprised." Lila said back as she turned.

"I am. I was expecting you to chicken out completely." JJ said back, the sound of the door shutting coming from his line, "We're really doing this."

"Does anyone know?" Lila asked, passing the water of the village as she drove out. The Leaving Monroe's Village sign was in her rearview mirror by the time she asked him.

"No one." JJ said back, "How far do you think you are?"

"It's about a thirty minute drive from the docks and then another forty five in the water." Lila said back, turning on the radio, "How far are you?"

"Give me a hour. If I'm not at the docks, I got eaten by a shark." JJ said back as Lila laughed, "This is the craziest thing you've ever done."

"Don't speak too soon. I once tried to preform a seance to contract some ghost." Lila said back, "I'll see you soon? On the docks?"

"Meeting you there in a hour, Ghost Hunter." JJ said, he gave a loud cheer into the earlier morning, "You're back."

"I'm back." Lila said back with a large smile. Their last minute plan happened so quick yet turned out so perfectly. When Dr.Speers told Lila that the OBX was still apart of her and she hadn't needed to let that go, the blonde immediately knew that she was right and that it was her home, it was were she truly was. And she wasn't going to let that go yet. So when JJ called and said she needed to get back to the OBX immediately, he'd read her mind and they both knew what they needed to do.

In thirty seconds, they made a plan that he'd get a bloat and drive to her. She knew the directions from the docks in Outer Banks to where the ferry dropped her and her moms off. It was a straight shot, so simple. All Lila needed to do was drive to the docks, and wait for JJ. Because he was on his way to get her.

He was bringing her home.

•

kylie speaks

fifteen days yall.
FIFTEEN AND WE
GET MORE CHAPTERS
FOR OUR GIRL!

the plan. the run away.
the councilor session. the
look inside lilas mind. the
emotions. the fight. the phone
call. the small details.
rafe. lilas going back.
the everything! im
obsessed!

god, i hope y'all liked this
as much as i did.

also, i edited lila x rafe
and lila x jj on my instagram
if you guys wanna go watch
it! @/wheeler_blossom

if any of you wanna listen
to lilas personal playlist