Hey pookies I'm back! I'm currently having a panic attack so I decided to update y'all!,

Okay so first things first, I decided to write my Christmas list early, and instead of making a short one I decided to list EVERYTHING I want, so that meh parents can choose from them, most of the craft stuff is for gearz cuz suprise suprise I sadly didn't get any for meh birthday.

Anyways here it is

Super sigma ik

YARPEE

Okay anyways

Yeah I hope I get gear because I guess my dad is worried about homeless people stealing our packages and that irritates me cuz they ain't gonna steal maskssksks

But it's okay

Alr anyways I'm SUUUPER frigging excited for the Christmas leopard because of my snow leopard theriotype! And my timber wolf and husky theriotypes those are my most snow connected theriotypes, and yes I did confirm husky if ya didn't know.

Anyways yeah when the cold weather drops it's gonna do friggin WONDERS for my snow leopard theriotype. Because I haven't had a snow leopard mental shift and  shift in general in a hot minute.

And ever since October I've been feeling very very connected with nature. Idk why but I just feel so much more.... Connected, and open about and to my alterhumanity, except to my parents, my mom thinks I'm just a wolf and that wasnt even the first theriotype she knew about lmao-

But like alot of these past couple months I haven't felt open or connected to my therianthropy and now I feel super open and connected, it's strange! And I didn't infact awaken on September 28th, I actually awakened on September 25th!

Okay also ⚠️TW: species dysphoria⚠️

Lately I've also been feeling really really bad about myself. I don't want to be human but If I told my parents they wouldn't understand. Sometimes I want to tear off my human skin and be an animal.

The other day I was doing quads, and I was like "I'm so excited to be an animal again!!!" And then it hit me, I started shaking so bad and crying. Sometimes I just wish it worked like that y'know.

I think alot of my recent depression has been because of therianthropy. That's why I get so angry when people are all like "oh being a therian is a choice", no the fuck it's not! We choose to not want to be human? We choose to have shifts randomly!? We choose to want to tear our skin off!? No!!! Jesus...

⚠️ NO MORE SPECIES DYSPHORIA MENTIONED NOW, ITS OVER ⚠️

Anyways UHM I've been practicing quads alot, I'm trying to fix my forms because it's terrible. I want to be able to do a very high jump or atleast a decent one.its really hard to do tho, especially on hard ground which I'm about to do in a sec.

Speaking of practicing quads, here's a story from last night. Okay so I decided to practice quads for atleast an hour everyday and started yesterday, and I was doing really good, I practiced by doing ten on the bed, ten running and jumping on the bed, and ten on my hardwood floors, WICH WOK MEH DAD UP, okay so I was on my floors and I ran up and did A SUPER GREAT GREAT GREAT jump, and my dad came in and said I needed to go to sleep

So it was disappointing, but I'm gonna do some quads like I did yesterday, so I'll update y'all tomorrow

My paws touch the pebbles of the ground,
As I feel all of my animal kin
Welling up inside of me
The rage
The fury
The fascination
The naturalization
The wind gusts on my meer human soul and I know...
Its time...
I run with the wolves..
Fly with the birds..
Hunt with the cats....
stalk with the foxes...
As I disappear into the light of dawn.