Second part to audio recording

—Keith P.O.V—-
"We want you to have this"

Allura handed me an old black tape.
"We didn't finish it, but we think you should"

I'm alone in my room. I'm just turning the tape over and back in my hands. I should listen to it. But what's so important about it? Is it some grief mixtape? A recorded lecture for people dealing with death? Is it-
Oh god. It can't be.
Not his last message.

I have an old Walkman. From that crummy space mall. It's in my hands. It's yellow and faded and chipping. My hands shake as I insert the tape. My breath hitches as I Place the headphones over my head.
My heart stops as I press play.

There's only static and rustling at first.
"Hey" god. His voice. It's weak already. But it feels amazing to hear it again.

."If you've found this audio recording, then it probably means I'm gone. For good this time.
There's not much to say, except for I'm sorry"

He sounds so sad. So fucking sad. So sad that I just want to reach into the tape and engulf him in my arms. I lay down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry for being the worst seventh wheel. The screw up. The goofball. The guy who couldn't do anything right. I just took up another lion that could've gone to Allura or Shiro or anyone else."

No. Fucking no.

"Anyone could do a better job then me and you guys know it. I constantly let the team down. Heck. It's probably best that I'm out of your hair" Theres a weak laugh, which breaks into an aggressive cough.

This is bullshit. He can't have really thought that. He can't think he's a seventh wheel. I close my eyes and grip my arms.

"But this message isn't for everyone's ears. I........."

The message pauses.

"I'm sorry Keith."

My eyes snap open, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for being such a jackass at the Garrison. Im sorry for calling us rivals and pretending I hate you."

He should've hated me. It would be so much easier if he hated me.

"I'm sorry for being a dick when we saved Shiro. I'm sorry for always insulting you. I'm even sorry for insulting your mullet. Because Keith, I love your mullet. I love your feistiness, I love your determination and selflessness. All things that I never had. And I love you Keith."

My tears turn into loud sobs, and my eyes scrunch up.

"Even back in the Garrison. You turn me into a blubbering mess who can't be serious to save his life. You're always theres for me. No matter what. You always seemed to be up for bonding moments. God I love you. I know you hate me. But I would do anything for you. Even die"

He jumped in front of the ship. He fucking saved me. Why did he fucking save me?

For a minute there's only tears and static.
"You are the future, Keith Kogane" He whispers.

Oh god lance. Why did you do this?

A blood curdling scream shrieks out of the headphones. I snatch them off my head and hurl them across the room with the Walkman still attached. I fall on my back and I scream. I just scream. Tears falling. Nose running. Just screaming.

I love you Lance. I fucking love you lance.

I know the other paladins can hear me. But I just want to scream. Scream until my lungs explode. Scream until the world ends. Scream until I die.
Why can't I just fucking die?
Why did lance have to fucking die?

Why.

•••
The long overdue part 2.
I'll rewrite this later and make it sadder.

✌️💕Bree