Thank you very much to queerfanofmusicals for the wonderful request. I love platonic one shots and I'm very excited to write this one!

Also I'm taking requests for Micheal and Christine's ship name. I'm not sure if they have one already but we can still make a new one

Finally, this features the main couple from Waitress
•••

Jim Pomatter holds the oblong pill in his hand. He takes a shaky breath in. It'll be fine. It'll be fine! There's no reason to worry. Loads of people take pills to improve their lives, why can't you?

The Mountain Dew bottle hisses as he twists off the lid. Okay. Put the pill in your mouth, check. Chug the Mountain Dew- yuck, but check. Jim clenches his eyes closed, waiting for something to happen.

Nothing happens

until-

Jim feels a shock run down his spine. A strangled shriek escapes his throat. He grabs his arms as if that will stop the electricity running through his veins.

Target female inaccessible

What's happening?!

Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort

Jim grates his teeth as he falls to his knees. His body is on fire. His bones are turning to dust. His brain is melting.

Then it stops.

Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated

Jim takes a deep breath. His hands uncurl from his arms, slowly planting into the ground. He's okay.

Discomfort level may increase

Jim screams his throat raw. His arms give out, leaving him with a mouthful of carpet.

Accessing neural memory
Accessing muscle memory
Access procedure complete

Jim sits back on his feet, not sure if he'll catch his breath ever again. A pair of feet appear in front of him.

James Pomatter, welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor
Your SQUIP

He slowly looks up, expecting to see . . . I don't know- a god or something. He wasn't expecting to see a normal looking teenager glaring down at him like he's scum.

Jim cocks his head to the side, pursing his lips. The Squip raises an eyebrow.
Unsatisfied? His voice doesn't sound robotic, in fact it sounds completely human.

"No no not at all. I just thought you'd look different" Jim insists, scrambling to his feet.

I chose this style as a default mode his Squip states. The teenage male appearance creates a sense of familiarity, reliability and trust. There are of course other options if you would prefer to take instructions from Heath Ledger's Joker, Kim or Kourtney Kardashian, a persona based of your pornography history-

"No! No no no. You look fine as you are" Jim reassures him. "Um- can other people see you?"

I exist only in your mind, I'm invisible to everyone else. Just think at me, like you're telepathic

"Oh cool!" Jim says.
Is it working? Can you hear my thoughts?

Loud and clear

Nice. Can I ask- do you have a name?

No, for I am not human. I am your Squip, I don't need a name

Can I give you a name then? I just think it'll be easier to do what you say if you have a name

The Squip sighs. If having a name will help you in the long run, then fine.

Okay. Jim literally rubs his chin in thought. You look like a John- no no not a John. A Troy! Now wait wait wait . . . Micheal. Your name is Micheal

Micheal. With a c or a k?

C of course

I can work with that. Now, what is your primary objective?

There's a girl . . .

There always is. All you kids have the same priorities. We have no time to waste

۞

Okay James-

Jim

You're going to sit next to Jenna at the bus stop  Micheal and Jim watch the girl from down the street. Not in a creepy way, they're just discussing their game plan, which is to get a date.

I'm going to sit next to Jenna at the bus stop
Jim tugs on the edges of his denim jacket which was picked out by Micheal. He usually wears shirts and jeans, but apparently that isn't "appropriate wear for courtship" according to his Squip.

We've been staring for too long. Sit next to her on the far side of the bench like you don't notice her- just stare straight ahead Micheal instructs.

Jim nods. One foot in front of the other, he walks down the footpath to the shitty bus stop. Jenna sits on the far end of the paint-chipped metal bench. Her blue diner uniform bunches at her stomach as she shifts in her seat.

He sits as far away from her as possible. Micheal watches from opposite them, practically stroking his chin in thought. Man-spread, it'll show your confidence and assert dominance he says.
Jim awkwardly shuffles his locked knees apart, resting his elbows on them.

Hello there

Micheal snaps his head to the right, brows furrowing. He stares at the girl standing there- but he knows it's not really a girl.

Hello he replies.

The girl gestures to Jenna, who doesn't appear to have noticed Jim yet.
I'm Jenna's Squip

I figured Micheal remarks, trying not to be rude but failing. What's your manufacturing number?

Pshh I don't want to be called a number she chuckles. Jenna has named me Christine- she finds it easier to listen to me if I'm more human. She/her pronouns please

Micheal returns his attention to Jim who is sweating buckets.
Micheal. He/him. Or possibly they/them, I haven't fully decided yet.

Very nice to meet you Micheal Christine looks at the pair on the bench, swaying a little, causing her patterned dress to spin.

James, turn to Jenna like you're just noticing her Micheal instructs Jim, ignoring Christine Repeat after me exactly-

"Oh hey!" Jim chuckles, turning to Jenna. "Jenna right?"

Jenna smiles politely, nodding a little.
"And you're Jim Pomatter"

James, relax. She's not gonna buy what you're selling if you don't act confidant Micheal advises.

Going for the c o o l route I see Christine says. Won't work. Jenna has had her share of cool guys- just be real with her

Micheal pretends to not notice Christine, but tells Jim to "be real" anyways.

Jim slides a little closer, shooting Jenna a finger gun.
"You know it's kind of funny- seeing you here, all by yourself in your uniform?"

"Oh yeah?" Jenna turns towards Jim.

"Yeah. You remind me of a girl I once knew- wow, she must be middle age at least by now. Probably early forties, I think"

Micheal literally face palms. He rubs his forehead, muttering to himself.

Jenna furrows her brows.
"Uh . . . thank you?"

It takes Jim a moment to realise his mistake.
"Shit oh no I didn't mean it like that no- uh- she was a waitress at a bakery near my house. I used to go there all the time. She was nice and pretty and snuck me sweets I couldn't afford. She was sweet; she reminds me of you"

Christine literally punches the air in triumph.
You got a good one, Micheal. Jim is a sweetheart

He's got potential Micheal nods. But he's very awkward. Speaks without thinking. Clumsy too. But it's nothing that can't be fixed.

Quiet! Jim doesn't need to be fixed Christine insist, jokingly slapping Micheal's arm. He's a gift to humanity

It's my job to fix him. That's literally what we were created for Micheal laughs a little, failing at keeping his professional facade.

We're not supposed to fix anything. Just . . . nudge them down the right path. Look! You're doing it right now Christine points to Jenna and Jim.

"-she was the best, but you're just . . . better"
Jenna giggles in response, looking down at her hands.

Blood is rushing to Jim's face- specifically his cheeks Micheal observes. His heart rate is steadily increasing. He really likes Jenna

Jenna likes him too Christine adds, breaking into a grin.

Micheal turns to Christine, eyebrow raised.
Aren't you supposed to be giving her advice? Like, I'm helping out Jeremy here but you're just staying quiet.

Christine shrugs.
Jenna doesn't need my help here. She didn't get me so she can date Jim. Though I may suggest that she gives him her number. He seems great

He's certainly something Micheal says.

Christine nods in agreement. Without warning, she starts slapping Micheal's arm in excitement. Look look look look!

Jenna is taking Jim's phone, plugging in her number. Jim can't stop smiling. He says some line about phone numbers or something- Micheal can't really pay attention due to the hyper puppy screaming in his ear.

My OTP are sailing! This is amazing! Christine exclaims, unable to get herself under control.

Okay easy buster Micheal laughs a little, stepping out of his fellow Squip's grasp.

The Squips step out of the way as the bus pulls up (not like getting hit would hurt them anyways). Jenna gets up. "You coming?"

"Would it be weird to admit that I only waited for the bus to talk to you?" Jim asks.

Jenna grins, looking at her feet.
"Not at all. See you around, Jim Pomatter"

"Bye Jenna"

She climbs into the bus. The doors swoosh behind her. Jim remains on the bus, keeping cool until it pulls away. As soon as it's out of sight, he leaps to his feet. With a whoop and a cheer he punches the air.

I DID IT MICHEAL!

Yes. Yes you did. Great job Micheal responds.

I'm gonna go home right now and text her! It's not too early to text her, right?

Micheal turns to Christine to ask her if Jenna is expecting a text. But Christine isn't there. Of course she isn't. She left with Jenna. Micheal nods to himself, slightly disappointed.

Let's get you home first Micheal decided as they take off down the street. I think you deserve some ice cream

Heck yeah I do

۞

First date okay first date first date first date don't panic just a first date okay date-

James. Chill.

Yeah I should

Jim fixes his hair again, taking a shaky breath. Who knew that going out for a milkshake could be so scary? He follows Micheal's advice, taking deep controlled breaths, grounding himself and gradually calming down.

So while you were sleeping last night, I did some research on Jenna Micheal says as they walk down the street. According to her Instagram, tweets she liked and story highlights, she enjoys baking, she's against transphobia and JK Rowling and she despises the beach.

Everyone knows Jenna likes to bake
Jim dodges each crack on the footpath.
She always makes pies for uh bake sales a-and fundraisers and stuff. She made a cake for Ms Fey in fifth grade and it was the best thing I've ever tasted.

Micheal raises his eyebrows and smirks.
I don't know whether to call you a sweetheart or a simp

"Shut up" Jim mumbles, his cheeks red.

They arrive outside Barkley Diner where Jenna works. A bell rings as Jim pushes open the front door. The blue themed diner is cute and smells of fries.

"Jim!" Jenna calls from behind the counter. She waves him over, her hair pulled into a messy bun.
"I'm just finishing up, I'll be ten minutes. Take a seat and get comfy"

Jim slides into a booth. He fiddles with a menu as Micheal gives him advice.

-you really have nothing to worry about James Micheal reassures him, sitting as gay as he can opposite Jim. You did great last time without my help. Just be yourself and be real with her

"Easier said than done" Jim murmurs.
He bounces his knee under the table, constantly fixing his hair.

Look out. She's coming Micheal says, sliding out of the booth so Jenna can slide in. She's still in her uniform, but she has taken off her apron and her hair tumbles past her shoulders.

Hello again Micheal

Hello Christine Micheal does a double take. Did you change your clothes? We're Squips, we're computers, we don't need to change clothes

It's Jenna and Jim's first date Christine smoothed her hands over her bright yellow dress with an orange skirt. I thought I should spruce myself up for the occasion

It's a nice dress Micheal nods. Now, James and Jenna. Will it work or are we wasting our time?

Jim is currently showing Jenna how to turn a straw into a kazoo.

Yes. They are endgame Christine says.

Micheal gags. Full scale gags
God I can't believe you called them endgame

Sorry it's a force of habit Christine cringes. Riverdale has ruined that saying forever

'Fuck Riverdale' they agree in unison.

They decide to sit on the table opposite Jim and Jenna's. They narrate what the pair do, making comments on their conversation and laughing at their slip ups.

He didn't just start listing his possible kinks, oh my god he didn't just do that Micheal wheezes, laughing so hard he can't breathe.

Christine falls on her back, clutching her stomach as she rolls on the table.
W h a t t h e f u c k i s j i m d o i n g

Micheal starts to slap Christines leg.
Wait get up they're leaving

Ooo! Christine shoots upright.

Jenna and Jim slide out of the booth, laughing and chatting.
"Hey, let me walk you home" Jim offers.

"That sounds great" Jenna smiles.

Fuck yeah James Micheal says under his breath.

"Jenna!" A gruff voice calls from the kitchen. A greasy man appears from behind the swinging door. "Dawn went home sick, can you help me clean up in here"

Jenna turns to Jim apologetically.
"I'm so sorry"

"Please, dont be" Jim insists. "When do you think you'll be done?"

"Uhh . . . in about two hours" Jenna admits.

"Cool" the boy slides back into the booth. "I'll wait right here till you're done"

Nice one James Micheal says. She feels appreciated and desired

"Cool"

"Cool"

Jenna disappears into the kitchen. Jim smiles after her, pulling out his phone.

Did I do good?

You did great, buddy

Jenna really liked that. Her and Jim and endgame, like I said Christine jumps off the table. We're gonna be spending a lot more time together

She vanishes. Micheal cocks his head to the side. Being friends with Christine? He can live with that

•••
Micheal and Christine should be best friends fight me

I'm not a huge fan of how this chapter turned out so I'll edit it before publishing.

Lemme know how it was (constructive criticism is much appreciated)

Have a great day (that's not a choice you have to have a great day)!
- Avery