*Not beta read

Beeping.

It was the first thing Jongho heard when he felt his consciousness begin to return to him. He felt that his head was pillowed on something firm but a bit soft and a scratchy material lay under his fingertips. Antiseptic and chemicals assaulted his senses. His head felt heavy and was pounding, bright light shining through his still closed eyes. Through all of the negative, there was something warm and soft curled around his right hand that gave him a sense of comfort.

His eyes fluttered open.

White filled his vision and, for a moment, he had too squint as the light became infinitely brighter. All he could make out was white as he turned his head lightly to the left. Faintly, he registered that he must be in a hospital.

How had he gotten here? The last thing he remembered was facing off against the Ghoul who had killed Xion but anything after was a blur. Was Wonho ok? What happened to the others?

Shifting in the bed, he gave a sharp inhale as his body gave a brief shock in pain. Apparently it was too soon to move and his body was protesting. Jongho's shift in motion, however, caused something to wiggle beside him and whatever around his hand to contract lightly. Looking to his left, the young agent spotted a head of sandy brunette hair laying on his bedside, a hand wrapped securely around his own. Jongho smiled softly.

Yeosang. He had stayed by his bedside while he recovered from whatever happened. There wasn't a force on this Earth that could have stopped the utterly fond look that overtook Jongho's expression as he reached out with his free hand, softly brushing it through the silky locks. The agent's heart felt itself swell by at least three times.

The touch must have alerted the sleeping beauty as there was a sudden shift in his breathing as he inhaled deeply, a sure sign of waking up. Yeosang scrunched his nose briefly before his own chocolate irises blinked open sleepily. For a moment, the older looked around blearily as he tried to register his surroundings. Jongho's soft chuckle caused the other's head to snap up at the sound. In a flash, Yeosang was up so quickly that the chair he had been resting in flipped and clattered to the floor.

"Jongho!" The other cried in alarm at the sight of the once sleeping agent. The sharp movement must have been too much for Yeosang as he suddenly gave a pained cry and clutched at his side. That was when the younger noticed that the brunette, too, was dressed in hospital clothing.

"Are you alright?" Jongho asked in concern as he watched the other hiss through his teeth as he breathed deeply through the pain. He wondered why the older was even here in the first place. What happened? How did he get hurt? Was it bad?

"I'm fine," Yeosang panted as the pain finally subsided, standing up a little straighter. "How are you? Are you feeling ok? Do I need to get a doctor?" The other worried, for once his concern and emotions so clearly visible on his face.

Jongho let his heart do the funny thing one more time before he just gave him a winning smile. "I couldn't be better." Then he frowned. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" The younger agent just shook his head. Yeosang sighed. "There was an explosion. You've been out for about five days now."

Jongho's eyes widened at that information. Five days? Explosion? Suddenly, he vaguely recalled pinning down and finally cornering the Ghoul he was after followed by a white light. He was in point blank range, how in the hell had he survived?

As if sensing the question that was budding in the other's mind, Yeosang pointed to the side table beside his bed. Turning his head, Jongho wasn't exactly sure what he was looking at. On the nightstand there a mangled and scorched piece of metal that was twisted every which way as if it had been through the ringer and didn't even vaguely resemble what it once might have been.

"It's Xion's Quinque." Yeosang said softly. "It had somehow wrapped around you after the explosion. Almost as if he was up there looking out for you."

Jongho felt his throat constrict at the information, his eyes stinging lightly. He gave a water smile. "Yeah, looks like it." His eyes never left the metal, speaking softly. "We did it buddy. She's dead."

A moment of silence passed between the two of them as they took in the reality that pressed inside. What Jongho had set out to do was now complete and it was a bit of a surreal feeling.

As another moment passed, a thought hit the younger. "What about Wonho? He was there too."

"The burly guy?" The brunette raised an eyebrow. At the other's nod, he continued. "He's ok. He was apparently far enough from the blast that he made it out mostly ok. A few gnarly burns but nothing life threatening."

Jongho released a breath he didn't know he was holding in from his chest. That was one less thing he had to worry about but he made a mental note to go and visit him if he was still in the hospital. Just as the younger was about to ask another question, he felt the hand around his own squeeze lightly, bringing his attention back to the brunette. He looked over and made eye-contact.

"I'm really glad you're ok." Yeosang said softly, sincerity coloring his voice as it came out a little thick. "I...for a moment....when I had found out what had happened..." He paused as he choked just slightly. He swallowed past the lump in his throat before speaking so softly, Jongho had to strain to hear him. "I was so scared."

Something in the young agent shattered as he listened to how fragile and vulnerable the other sounded. He, in all his time working with him, had never seen Yeosang this open, this emotional and it was near heartbreaking. While he was happy that the other had opened up to him so much, he had done this. He had made him feel this way, this hurt, and he felt it was his responsibility to pick up the pieces and make the older agent feel more secure. He would do everything in his power to never make him worried like this again.

Jongho flipped the hand still in Yeosang's grasp and laced their fingers together tightly, his thumb running over the other's palm in a reassuring motion.

"I'm sorry." His voice was barely above a whisper, as if any sudden movements or loud noise would shatter the atmosphere around them. "I can't promise this won't happen again, that I won't get hurt. It's the nature of the job. But I can promise that I will always try my best to stay out of harm's way-"

At that moment, something must have come over Yeosang as Jongho was not prepared for the sudden pressure against his lips. His eyes widened at the feel but he didn't waste a second more once he realized what was happening. Closing his eyes, the younger brought his free hand up and cupped the other's jaw, brushing his thumb over the apple of his cheeks and paying special attention to the slight, pinkish birthmark by Yeosang's eye that he was so endeared with. It was not lost on Jongho the meaning of this moment. He could count the amount of times the reserved agent had been affectionate on one hand and never outside the walls of his apartment. He counted this as a win.

The kiss wasn't overly complicated but it was warm and full of feeling as their lips moved slowly, coaxing, but never any further as if they were still too shy. Finally, as if by some unspoken rule, they parted. Yeosang tapped his forehead against Jongho's and grinned, unrestrained, eyes twinkling.

"Just be careful next time, okay?" The older teased, his own hand delicately wrapping around the wrist of the hand still touching his face.

Jongho smiled boyishly. "No promises." He whispered. Yeosang just rolled his eyes and reconnected their lips for a second time.

"Oh, ho, ho." A voice and a low whistle from the door caused the two to spring apart as if lightning had struck between them. Pink cheeked, the two hospitalized agents turned their heads to spy Hwanwoong leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, with a wolfish smirk that spoke nothing of trouble. He was dressed in his normal work attire but his right arm was wrapped in bandages, most likely to protect the burns from overusing his Quinque.

"I came to check on Jongho but it looks like Yeosang is proving to be a much better nurse." The agent teased, a mischievous sparkle visible in his eyes. He raised an eyebrow. "Anything I should know about?"

Jongho didn't say anything as he turned his head towards Yeosang who was still standing, bright red ears betraying his embarrassment. Just like everything else in their pseudo-relationship thus far, he was going to leave everything to the brunette, never wanting to push him and accepting whatever the other felt most comfortable with. If Yeosang wanted to deny everything right here, he would support that decision.

Yeosang seemed to ponder for a moment as his face slowly regained it's normal color. He felt something squeeze his hand and he turned to meet Jongho's eyes who just smiled in support, his eyes saying everything he needed to know without words. The brunette felt something swell in his chest. He squeezed the other's hand back.

"Yes," He exhaled, eyes never leaving Jongho's. "There is something."

"Finally!" The sudden outburst caused the two to startle once more as they saw Hwanwoong lean up from the door and throw his hands in the air, exasperated. "It took you two long enough to admit it."

"Wait, you knew something was there?" Yeosang raised a questioning eyebrow, unable to believe it. He could have sworn they were much better at keeping it under wraps.

Hwanwoong was not of the same opinion as he gave them an incredulous stare. "Please, even if I had gouged out my own eyeballs, I still would have seen through you two. You both had such big moon eyes for each other it was sickening. I thought you were going to crumble when Jongho transferred."

For the third time, Yeosang felt his cheeks heat. He turned his head away as if shutting out the other agent and ignoring him. Jongho chuckled seeing the brunette's reactions. It was rather endearing to him how cut throat and harsh Yeosang could be one moment and then flustered the next.

Taking pity on his, now official, boyfriend, Jonghoo decided to change the topic. "So how is everyone else? I'm assuming since you and Yeosang are here, Seonghwa was at the auction too."

Hwanwoong nodded. "We were the team that helped out with clearing the Ghoul's from the auction house. He isn't here though. They put him on bed rest."

"Bed rest?" The younger raised an eyebrow. "What happened out there? Yeosang's ribs are busted and your arm is wrapped."

Hwanwoong seemed to wrestle with himself a little as he shifted uneasily from foot to foot. Even Yeosang seemed a bit skittish and Jongho seemed concerned. What in the world could have happened in that time? Finally, the agent by the door took a deep breath and spoke.

"Maddox is alive."

XxX

"Seonghwa..."

The agent inhaled deeply as warmth hit his skin. The smell of grass hit his nose in a soft earthy scent that was comforting. A gentle breeze brushed over his body and through his hair, not enough to disturb but just to cool the skin and keep it from overheating in the sun.

"Seonghwa." A voice called again, softly and colored with a gentle giggle. The agent shifted his head and realized that the breeze ruffling his hair wasn't the wind, but slim fingers that brushed back the fringe.

Suddenly, some of the light shining through Seonghwa's eyes darkened and the agent squinted at the shift. Fluttering his eyelid, the man blinked slowly and noticed someone leaning over him, the sun behind him keeping the face in the shadows. The head shifted and light caught on familiar strawberry red hair.

"There you are, sleepyhead." Hongjoong spoke softly, his smile bright. "You knocked out on me."

"Hongjoong?" Seonghwa spoke sleepily, voice cracking from lack of use. He realized that his head was pillowed on the other's lap. "Where are we?"

"Really?" The red-head raised an eyebrow. "Did you nap so hard that you forgot you were the one who suggested going on a picnic?"

"Oh, right." The sudden tenseness in Seonghwa's shoulders dissipated as a fog settled over his head. That's right, how could he forget? He was on a date with Hongjoong.

A cheerful laugh greeted his ears like a bell as the agent settled back down in his comfortable position and closed his eyes once more, deciding to prolong his little afternoon nap. An overwhelming sense of peace washed over him as the fingers continued to comb through his hair softly. If he were a cat, he was sure he would be purring in contentment.

A drop hit his cheek. His eyes squinted, wondering for a moment if it was starting to rain. The fingers from his hand vanished and the warm sun and breeze seemed to have vanished, leaving a cold chill in the air that sank right down to his bones. Confused at the sudden change, he opened his eyes.

"Seong...hwa," The previously warm voice of Hongjoong's was suddenly colored and dripping in pain. A single blood-stained tear dripped from his now Ghoulish eye, sans eyepatch. A pool of red colored his shirt. He gave a lurching cough and some additional blood dribbled out of his mouth.

"Help me..."

Seonghwa gasped as his whole body lurched up from the bed. Heavy sweat beaded across his forehead and stuck his shirt to his sticky skin. He rubbed roughly across his face to wipe away the image that burned in his brain.

It had been days of the same recurring dream. When Seonghwa had woken up, he found himself in a hospital bed. Shortly after he had passed out, agents had descended upon the theater. Yeosang, being on the verge of passing out from the exertion and pain, was the immediate focus.

Maddox had escaped.

However, when Seongwha asked the other agents present if there was anything else found in the room. The others looked confused at the question. Not wanting a target on Hongjoong's back and too alert anyone else that there was another Ghoul present, Seonghwa shut his mouth. The only hope that he had was that the red-head somehow escaped as well.

Sighing, Seonghwa reached over and unplugged his phone from the nightstand, the brightness of his home screen momentarily blinding him. He unlocked it and opened Kakao. He scanned the contacts for a moment.

No new messages.

Groaning, the agent tossed his phone onto the bed and flopped back down while tossing an arm over his face. It had been days and Seonghwa had been trying to reach Hongjoong. He had sent multiple messages but had gotten nothing back. He knew where the other worked and figured he could look for him there but, from the lack of response, he wasn't even sure whether the red-head would even want to see him. Just showing up at his workplace felt like it might be overstepping.

"Goodbye...Seonghwa."

Those two words haunted him. What did the other mean by that? That he never wanted to see him again? He just said that because he thought he was going to die? God, he had been such an ass before, calling him out for something that clearly upset him, pressing the issue. His mind had felt like such a mess he couldn't even string two coherent thoughts together properly. It was like someone had taken a mallet to glass and something in him shattered at the revelation.

Then there was the fact that he was still an agent and the other was still a Ghoul. There was definitely no way they could keep interacting with each other. Just the thought put a piercing ache in his chest. Now he was really starting to understand the scared and heartbroken look on Hongjoong's face.

Throwing off the blanket around his waist, Seonghwa set his feet down on the cold wooden floor. It was time to stop this pathetic pity party. Walking toward his bathroom, he grabbed a towel for a quick shower.

He had somewhere to go.

XxX

Xion stared at the page of the book in front of him but wasn't absorbing any of the words. Finally having enough, the ex-agent sighed and shut his book before tossing it onto the small table in front of him. He leaned his head back against the baseboard of the bed from his position sitting on the floor and shut his eyes.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Xion felt a poke on his forehead and he opened his eyes to stare into soulful brown. Leedo smiled softly from where he was perched, laying down on his bed with a book of his own.

"Just thinking about the other day." The younger muttered, voice low. It had been a few days since the botched invasion and Xion had felt an uncertainty festering inside of him. It was rather out of place considering he hadn't even been on the mission but ever since his small chat with Mingi, his thoughts have been swirling ever since.

Xion sat across from Mingi at the cafe counter with coffee that had long grown cold. Neither of them were speaking and were in favor of the silent atmosphere. The young man had his hands wrapped tightly around the cool cup and stared at his undisturbed reflection in the liquid.

Suddenly, the door opened.

Two heads popped up at the sound and, before he had realized he had even moved, Xion was out of his seat, his coffee cup knocked over and spilling it onto the carpet below.

"Leedo!"

The Ghoul didn't even have a moment to react as a body slammed into him. He was dirty, tired, and sweaty but that didn't seem to bother the other boy as arms wrapped around his middle. Suddenly, the fatigue melted from his body and he smiled, bringing a hand up and ruffling through the younger's hair.

"Hey, princess." He whispered.

"I'm glad you're ok," Xion said, his voice muffled from where his face was smashed in the other's shirt. It smelled like a mixture of Leedo's apartment, the Earth, and most concerning, blood, but the ex-agent didn't care. The heavy feeling of the other's hand was warm and comforting.

A sound of a throat clearing suddenly alerted Xion that he was not alone in the room. As fast as a thunder strike, the one-eyed Ghoul released the other and shot across the room, creating space. He felt his face heat up.

"So this is the little guy that's suddenly taken residence in your apartment?" A man Xion had never seen before smiled teasingly at him. He, too, was covered in dirt and dried blood with a few tears in his clothes but he didn't seem to have any visible injuries other than favoring his right arm lightly. "I can see why you've kept him a secret."

Xion's ears turned a bright red as Leedo elbowed the other in the ribs. "Shut it, Keonhee. You're making him uncomfortable."

The one called Keonhee just pouted but left it. Xion, hoping to work past the embarrassment, looked at the other two in the room. The ex-agent recognized Yunho but didn't know the third but he appeared friendly and stood close by Leedo and Keonhee.

Mingi, stepping out from behind the counter, approached Yunho who seemed rather stressed and tired. Without a word, the brunette cupped the blonde's cheeks between his large palms and brought their faces close in a brief, but chaste, kiss. Immediately, the blonde's shoulder's seemed to lose their tension.

"Welcome back," Mingi whispered with a soft smile as he pulled away. His thumbs lightly stroked the back of Yunho's jaw. "I knew you'd make it."

Yunho reached up with both hands and grasped lightly at the other's wrists and seemed to bask in the comfort that Mingi somehow radiated with a smile. Xion was fascinated as he watched their dynamic. Despite what they had talked about before, it was nothing compared to seeing the relationship in the flesh. He almost couldn't believe it and it seemed to battle every part of what Xion had previously believed. Unable to handle looking at them anymore, he turned his head away as the others continued to talk. Vaguely, he caught something about San going ahead to take Wooyoung home so he could rest.

"You ok?" Leedo asked, seemingly sensing Xion's distraught. The Ghoul looked at him with open and concerned eyes. The younger used all his willpower to keep his head facing away.

"'m fine." Xion grumbled, shrugging the other off. He could hear the others talking behind him, most likely filling each other in on the events that had just happened, but he was too in his head to catch what anyone was saying. Instead, he just walked towards the door, not even looking behind to see if the other was following. "Let's go home."

"Ah," Leedo hummed, bringing the other out of his thoughts. "Thinking about when we came back? You did seem awfully grumpy."

"I wasn't grumpy!" Xion protested but they both knew better. Instead, he let his anger deflate and he sighed. He didn't really feel like having a conversation about his moods. "Mingi's weird."

Leedo, not expecting that answer, barked a short abrupt laugh. "Oh, why's that?"

"He doesn't seem afraid of anything or concerned that his life is in danger. He's dating a Ghoul!"

The other Ghoul just hummed as he sat up on the bed. "What about you? Are you afraid of Yunho?"

Xion opened his mouth to answer but paused, thinking for a moment. "Well....no...."

"And me?" Leedo placed his legs on either side of Xion's shoulders, caving him in and leaned over the other's head to catch the boy's eye. "Are you afraid of me?"

"You?" The ex-agent had to stop himself from snorting. "No way!"

Leedo just raised an eyebrow and leaned back. "What if I told you that there are lots of people out there afraid of me. That would run away at the sound of my name."

This time, Xion did snort. "You're lying. You're as tough as a plush teddy bear."

The Ghoul just chuckled in his deep voice that reverberated warmly through the room. Xion felt the sound cut through his chest. "But it's true, the second people hear the name 'Ghoul,' they go running."

Oh, so he meant that name.

"I understand what the CCG has taught you. Hell, what the whole world has taught you on the news. It's hard to unlearn that in such a short amount of time and I'm sure it hasn't been easy." Leedo continued. "Not to say that some of those ideas aren't unfounded. There are bad Ghouls but there are also humans out there that are just as bad."

Xion bit his lip as he listened to the blunette speak. He had heard this lecture before, or at least something similar, but with Leedo, it was so easy to forget what he was, what they were. He had grown so comfortable with each other in a short amount of time that it felt like his life was so...normal.

"But why wouldn't Mingi be afraid of Yunho if he knew he was a Ghoul? Did he know before?" He asked timidly.

"Well, from what I heard, Mingi was already friends with Hongjoong before he changed and it was kind of the same for Yunho. They had gotten close before he had found out and figured it wasn't a deal breaker." Leedo shrugged. "If you know someone well enough, it kind supersedes any preconceived notions, right?"

Xion nodded absently, taking in the words. A small sense of shame went over him and realized how much he had changed. If he had heard someone was a Ghoul, he automatically thought the worst of them. How true was that for the ones he had met? Had he or anyone he knew wrongfully attacked someone, assuming they were evil? The thought made him want to shudder.

"Hey," Leedo called out seemingly knowing the other had gone into his head. "Don't beat yourself up for the past. We can't change what happened, but we can control what will. You knew I was a Ghoul almost from the beginning, but you still chose to trust me, right?" The ex-agent nodded. "You took a chance. For that, I'm grateful."

Leedo smiled brightly and Xion felt the heaviness lift from his chest at the sight of it. The open expression was so warm and judgment free that the ex-agent almost didn't feel worthy to receive it. He turned his head.

"Thank you." Xion whispered, voice cracking. A hand clapped on his head, ruffling his hair.

"You're welcome princess."

XxX

Eden tugged on a loose piece of hair as he examined his bruised reflection in the window. There was more grey than last time from the physical exertion. He was just happy that the strain wasn't having an adverse effect physically at the moment. If he kept this up, it will definitely get harder and harder to hide. Sighing, he tucked the piece back into the beanie he was wearing, citing that the halls were cold and the hospital clothing was thin.

Reaching into his small pocket, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and, tapping the bottom on the thigh propped up on the windowsill, he placed the filter between his lips and fishing out his little zippo lighter and flicking the tab, a tiny flame dancing. It was a lot more difficult to try and light one when your arm was bandaged and you had a sling strapping it to your chest.

"You know," A voice spoke from the other end of the hall. "You aren't supposed to smoke in a hospital."

Tuning his head, Eden let the flame die out and he smiled around the unlit cigarette. "Seonghwa. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I came for answers." The agent frowned as he took a step forward and closer to the other agent, unperturbed. Though this wasn't his planned first stop, as soon as he stepped out the door he had felt a nagging urge to stop here first and check on the others. It seemed that fate was on his side and caused him to run into the last person he expected. He raised an eyebrow. "I think I should be entitled to a few."

Sighing, Eden took the nicotine stick from his lips and turned back towards the window. He gazed out at the dirty snow and slush covered the street below. He had always loved the first snow, when everything seemed fresh and untouched with white powder. It was always such a pity when the world around got a hold of it, sullying it until it was nothing but a filthy mess.

Funny, how adept the world seems at doing that.

"You know, I was told to keep my eye on you once." The experienced agent finally spoke up after a moment.

Seonghwa, caught a bit off guard, blinked before narrowing his eyes. "That was why you recruited Jongho, right?" He wasted no time. "To keep an eye on me?"

Eden hummed noncommittally. "Don't act like you didn't do the same."

"And the director? He asked you to do this?" Seonghwa frowned. Had he done something that came off as suspicious? He knew that, after the failed ambush that eyes would be on him but never like this.

"There is a lot more to the CCG than you even realize, champ." Eden shrugged. He finally turned around on the windowsill to face his former subordinate. "Maybe even more than I'm even privy to. All a load of politics."

"How did you know?" Seonghwa cut right to the chase, ignoring what the other said. "About Maddox."

"Don't get your briefs in a twist," Eden huffed playfully before his face grew serious. "I cared very much about Maddox. He was my subordinate and friend."

The younger agent couldn't help but roll his eyes as his head showed images of Eden and Maddox fighting. "Yeah, you sure showed that when you tried to impale him."

"Well, what was I supposed to do?" The squadron leader scowled. "Is it more cruel to let him live his life as a monster and sully his memory or too do the human thing and put him out of his misery? You saw him Seonghwa! Something wasn't right. He was too pure for this world for the fate of the damned, the forsaken, and I would rather die by my own hand than to let that image of him be tarnished."

Seonghwa felt like he had been slapped across the face. He turned his head, unable to look at Eden anymore. Was this how Hongjoong felt? Did he feel cursed in his life as a Ghoul? Was he suffering because of it? He had confronted the other for answers and he just felt more confused and guilty than anything else. He really needed to talk to Hongjoong as soon as possible.

Eden, unknowing or uncaring to whatever emotion's Seonghwa was feeling as a result of his words, just smiled. He took a few steps forward and plucked a finger at the younger's chest pocket in his black trench coat and dropped the unlit cigarette inside. He smiled as he patted the pocket.

"You'll come to find out that the world is full of secrets and, sometimes, we aren't supposed to know what they are." With that, Eden sidestepped the stunned agent and meandered his way back down the hall, waving two fingers over his shoulder.

XxX

Wooyoung bit his lip as he tried to steadily cut a cucumber for a customer's sandwich, being careful to make sure that every slice was precise. While cutting, his concentration slipped for a moment and he ended up slicing sideways. He lost the grip on the knife and it clattered to the floor.

He gritted his teeth as he held his violently shaking wrist as he willed the violent tremors to stop. With each passing day the shakes were getting worse and harder to control. His emotions were also all over the place. One minute he was fine and the next he was violently angry and sweating, anxiety gripping at him like a vice grip. The blonde felt as if he were no longer in control of his body and that was the most frustrating thing for him.

Cursing, Wooyoung held his wrist tighter, nearly cutting off the circulation as he waited. After a few minutes, he finally felt the tremors begin to subside and he sighed. Releasing his arm, he tried to shake out the stiffness and suddenly sore muscles. He was hoping to be able to get back to work and keep his mind off of things but if this kept up, he wouldn't be able to much longer.

From the other side of the kitchen, the door swung open. "Hey Woo, Yunho wanted me to check up on that sandwich for table three-" Pausing, and noticing the knife on the floor, San rushed to the blonde's side. "Hey, what happened? Are you alright? Did you cut yourself?"

The other just shook his head and tried to resist the urge to sigh. That was another thing that Wooyoung hated about this new development: San's sudden desire to mother hen. He cared for the shop owner deeply but the constant worry was grating on his already frayed nerves.

"I'm fine," Wooyoung managed to grit out as he bent to pick up the fallen knife. He tossed it in the sink and pulled out a clean one from the wooden block. "I just lost my grip is all."

"Were you shaking again?" San fretted, beginning what the blonde knew to be the beginning of a slew of questions. "Are you feeling ok? Do you need to sit down? I knew you should have taken a few more days off of work-"

"Enough!" Wooyoung exploded, slamming the fresh knife down on top of the cutting board. San recoiled at the shock of the sound as if he had been physically stricken, hurt flashing through his eyes. The blonde immediately felt regretful and he sighed while roughly scrubbing his hand over his face and through his hair.

"I'm sorry," The blonde Ghoul apologized softly. "I know you're worried about me but I just...I just feel so on edge all the time. Like I'm a string and just one small thing and I'm going to snap."

"I understand." The shop owner exhaled. Of course he did. San always understood whatever Wooyoung was going through. Maybe not right in that moment but eventually, he did. It was one of the things the blonde loved most about the other. "You got slammed with a heavy dose of that drug. It is no wonder the withdrawals are so bad."

"I thought that coming back to work would help me keep my mind off of it. Off of everything that is going on." The barista said solemnly before turning towards the other occupant in the kitchen, eyes suddenly desperate. "Do you think that Yunho could give me some? Just to knock off the worst of the symptoms? C'mon I know he took some. Not a lot. Not enough to do damage but to take the edge off? Please?" He babbled.

"Wooyoung." San said sternly in a way that brokered no further argument. His mouth was set in a firm line and his eyes were narrowed. He hadn't used a nickname either, which is how the blonde knew it was serious. "You know we aren't going to do that. We don't know the true effect of this drug or how dangerous it is until we can get the lab results. Besides, you already agreed. Cold turkey, remember?"

The blonde had to stop the whine that so desperately wanted to escape from his throat. He knew that. Of course he knew that. He was the one who had suggested it but that was before. Before he knew how bad the shakes and the sweating and just the pure want was. He could feel it, all of it, coursing through his veins and calling out to him.

"C'mon," San motioned, snapping Wooyoung out of his thoughts. "Let's get Yunho that sandwich, huh?"

Sighing, Wooyoung turned back to the cutting board to finish the task at hand. That was how the rest of his shift went, putting together orders and carrying them out even though he knew that San was watching him out of the corner of his eye all the while. On one hand it made him feel cared for but on the other, it was rather annoying. Since the incident everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells around him just waiting for something to happen. Rightfully so, but it still didn't bother him any less.

It was reaching the end of the day and the sunset through the large windows was calming as it bathed everything in it's warm orange glow. Mingi and Yunho, seeing as there were no customers at the moment, were sitting at a table enjoying the last vestiges of the day with a warm cup of coffee each. Wooyoung, trying to keep busy, was cleaning the counter top until he could clearly see his reflection in the polished wood.

The bell over the door rang as someone entered the shop. The blonde turned his head to greet them but the words died in his throat as soon as he saw who had walked through the door. Immediately, the wall that he had been erecting to temper down his volatile emotions was smashed through.

A tall man. Dark hair with long bangs in the front dressed in all black. Familiar. A dove.

"You!" Wooyoung exploded, throwing down the towel he was cleaning with. He quickly exited from behind the counter with a speed that was unexpected. The second he was in front of Seonghwa, the blonde grabbed a fistful of his jacket collar and tugged him close with all the fury he was feeling etched across his face. It didn't matter that the other was taller than he was. "You son-of-a-bitch! How dare you show yourself here!"

"Wooyoung!" Came the cry of shock from the other occupants of the cafe. Yunho had turned and stood half out of his seat while Mingi had his hands placed on top of the table ready to move at a moment's notice.

Seonghwa stumbled back a step in alarm and confusion at the sudden anger thrown his way by a man he was rather unfamiliar with for the most part. He reached up and grabbed at the hands fisted in his lapel.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." The blonde blinked and his eyes changed into the Ghoulish black and red that had become so familiar to the agent. Black veins spread out to the top of Wooyoung's cheeks and thickened in his ire. "You let this happen, Dove scum."

The taller agent was now more confused, and slightly frightened, then ever. He had no idea that the man in front of him was a Ghoul and he was woefully unprepared for the situation. On top of that, the blonde in front of him seemed to have a personal vendetta against him that he had no idea what it was about. He wasn't sure how to get out of this situation.

"Wooyoung," Came a stern and sturdy voice from the left. Suddenly a man with two-toned hair was beside the blonde and was prying the hands away from Seonghwa's lapel. The Ghoul didn't seem to resist the grip and took a few steps back at the new man's urging but his eyes didn't change as they stayed locked on the agent.

Seonghwa swallowed as he felt a bead of sweat drip down the side of his neck and into his collarbone. Nervously, he shifted his eyes slowly across to take in everyone else who was present in the room. He recognized the man with the two-toned hair currently whispering thinly veiled words urging the other to calm down. The agent had visited the other's shop once before but had been cleared as a suspect for the Butcher cases they had been investigating. Apparently, they hadn't done a very thorough job seeing as he was standing there next to a Ghoul.

Taking in the two at the table, Seonghwa didn't recognize the man dressed in the cafe uniform that seemed a bit taller than him. He did, however, recognize Mingi, Hongjoong's friend. Sadly, he didn't see any sign of the red-head he had been hoping to see.

"What's going on?" Seonghwa risked asking. He was currently fighting every fiber of his being that was screaming at him to get out of this situation or immediately go on the defensive. He was hoping that Mingi's presence would play in his favor if these people really did know Hongjoong and were on friendly terms with the red-head.

Wooyoung shook off San's hands which were still gripping his arm and continued to glare at Seonghwa. "He trusted you, you know?" The blonde scathed out as a means of replying. "But I guess I'm just as much to blame, seeing as I'm the one who put him up to it."

"Wooyoung," San hissed again through his teeth. It was a clear warning to stop talking.

"No," The blonde turned his head towards the tattooed Ghoul. "I think he should know what he is now responsible for." His fists tightened as he looked back forward. His shoulders were tense but there was something in his expression that held something different: pain and the sudden setting of guilt.

"I told Hongjoong to get close to you." Wooyoung took a breath. He blinked, eyes changing back to their normal brown. Before Seonghwa could interject, he kept talking. "He didn't want to, not at first. But I pushed him when I found out that he had already run into you once before. Your first meeting wasn't a set up, it was organic."

Seonghwa knew immediately of that moment. He suddenly saw in his mind's eye a recollection of that night. Cowering, huddling figure. Terrified eyes staring up at him. Trembling fingers clutched his blazer jacket. There was no doubt in the agent's mind that a reaction that strong could be faked.

"After you came by Treasure, that is when I asked Hongjoong to watch out for you." Wooyoung cleared his throat, a bit uncomfortable with the admission. He was still kind of paying from the blowout of that admission with the others. "Not necessarily to get classified information," He hurried to clarify, "but to just keep an ear out. We knew the Butcher was running around and we just wanted to keep each other safe. To keep away from people like you who see us as nothing but mindless monsters."

Seonghwa winced at that admission. A sudden wrench of guilt grabbed at his gut. It wasn't far from the truth. In fact, there was still probably a part of the agent that still felt this way and believed that but he was only human. He couldn't change everything overnight.

"His heart was never in it though." Wooyoung admitted softly, eyes dropping downward and to the left. "I gave him crap for it all the time but... he really cared about you."

A lump formed in the agent's throat and the guilt only grew stronger. He knew that. He knew that now and god did he have so much too make up for. So much to apologize for. He didn't know if Hongjoong would ever forgive him and he wouldn't blame the other for that, but he was damned if he didn't try.

"Where is he?" Seonghwa tried to speak past the lump, voice weak. "Is he here? Can I see him?"

This caused the others in the room to freeze. Wooyoung looked up in confusion, as if the agent had grown two heads. Seonghwa felt his heart freeze in his chest, his blood ice.

No. Please, no.

"Seonghwa," It was Mingi who spoke. It was the first time the agent really noticed the other's expression. He looked haggard as if he were carrying around a heavy weight. Black circles were lined deep under his eyes. The rest of the room regarded him with sympathy. A comforting hand went out from the other blonde in the room before the brunette spoke the two words that flipped the agent's world entirely.

"Hongjoong's missing."

XxX

"Sir, you asked to see me?"

A man stood by a large window with his hands crossed behind his back as he stared out at the scenery below. It was a dreary night with the air quality being so bad and you could practically see the dust particles floating. He made no move to turn and properly acknowledge the woman who had just walked in, leaving her to stay in a deep bowing position.

"You said he was ready." The man spoke after a minute, voice rough sounding but free of any kind of emotion.

Though the man couldn't see it, the woman winced at the accusation and stood slowly. She smoothed her sweaty hands down her white lab coat. "Upon preliminary assessment, we had decided that he may be ready for the task but you can never really know until the actual situation arises-"

"You said he was ready!" The man at the window roared suddenly as he flipped around to face the woman. She flinched at the loud noise but did her best not to step back and falter in the face of her employer. She could not afford him to pull the plug on this project. Her lab was on the brink of bankruptcy before this and if this man pulled his support they would surely be destitute.

"Sir, I promise you now that we know the risks we can be better prepared. This will never happen again." The woman rushed to assure. "I have the utmost confidence that our lab will help you achieve your goals."

"I came to you because you and your team offered me promises and I have yet to see any of them fulfilled. You're on your last leg. Any more failures and I can assure that you will never work in the field of science again." The man grumbled, his face grave and dower. "Is that understood?"

The woman gulped, a fresh bead of sweat rolling down her spine. "Yes, sir."

"Good," The man nodded as he took a seat at his large mahogany desk. "Now, get out of my sight and back to work."

The woman, grateful to be dismissed, quickly scampered out of the office and back down to the safety of her lab. She knew it was risky business getting involved with the likes of this man but she had figured the payout would outweigh the risk along with amazing advancements in science. It was her life's work. Lately, she was wondering if she was wrong about that.

The man sighed as he watched the woman practically run out away from his presence with her tail between her legs as he lounged back in his leather chair. Pathetic. If it wasn't for the fact that this particular lab didn't have a problem running experiments with rather questionable ethics, he would have fired them all ages ago. He couldn't afford any more setbacks in his plans. He had already had to wait months and he could wait no longer. He was itching to make a move and soon.

Pulling at the folder that was currently laying at the edge of his desk, he thumbed through the folder and pulled out all of the materials, spreading it out over the top. Each piece was a different picture that had been taken a few weeks ago with varying degrees of zooming. One image was a picture of two men, one nearly falling on the ice and the other catching him mid-laugh. Another was of the two skating while holding hands but it seemed more for balance than anything else. The last picture of the pile was the two together in a soft hug, the fond emotions the two carried for each other practically screaming through the image. The man picked up that one.

"Thought you could escape from us, but we have you now."

Notes:

ASPHYXIA IS A YEAR OLD!

For those that don't know, this story was inspired and started by some fan art I saw on twitter by a moot, and, with their permission, this story was born. Crazy to think that I'm still here a year later after everything. This is the longest and most thought out project I've done and it is my first venture back into writing since I high school. I know there are a lot of pieces with characters and I try my best to piece everything together without drawing it out but I know sometimes it gets stagnant, especially like in this chapter when they are just wrap ups/ going into a new section pieces that are mostly character relationship driven. Sorry for mistakes.

I wanted to end it before the last section but decided to give you guys a little more.

Yayy for a new comeback!! I hope Mingi can return soon and that he is doing well with his mental health but I'm glad that he is still on the tracks so we can hear his voice!

Also, the Oneus comeback has me deceased I can't stop listening to it.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

-If you didn't see my post on my feed, I wanted to do maybe a Q&A session about me, my hobbies, fandoms, random stuff, writing process, whatever if anyone was curious to ask something and just for funsies.

-If you have a writing prompt or maybe one-shot you would like me to do to celebrate, please send them my way! I will do my best to write it and dedicate the writing to you.

-Share your art! It doesn't have to be Ateez related or related to my fic, I would love to just support an artist with a like, rt, follow, or encouraging word. 

Songs I listened to while writing that might have influenced the story idk:

See You Again- Monsta X

Who ft. BTS- Lauv

hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have- Lana Del Rey

Odd Eye- Dreamcatcher

Accident- WOODZ

To Die For- Sam Smith

Another One- Sam Smith