Chapter Themes:
I Do I Do - Secret
I Love You 3000 - Stephanie Poetri

HAN SEUNGWOO

Perfection is what most people want to attain, since time immemorial, which made them to be idealistic. Of course, they want it to become real that's why they tend to be competitive and their desires fluctuate which can lead to people raging war.

Life will be easy and danger free if a perfect life exists but where's the challenge in it? There will be no problems to solve, dents to fix, time to keep up, holes to cover, wounds to stitch and marks to conceal. Fun will become a myth if it happens. We don't need a perfect life, instead we need a fun life.

At 26, I experienced various life challenges were my bravery and the way how I deal with the challenges  were measured. Honestly, I am not that strong but I chose to be strong even if I was on the point of giving up. I was attacked through my weak points which was unfair! In the middle of my struggle, I realized that it's natural for people to attack someone through their weak points— the family. What else can be used as a bait to beat the out of you? Of course it should be your family who had done nothing wrong.

As much as I want to blame the cruel events that happened in my life to the suspect, it would be of no use. Well, it can lessen the burden in my heart but at the end of the day, it's nothing.

While struggling, I also thought I wanted a perfect life to avoid this kind of distress. If my life was perfect, I will not suffer. I won't hear myself crying in the middle of the night. We think that our lives will be better if everyone is perfect. No one will be hurt and no one will be hurt. Who wouldn't love that kind of life right? You have nothing to worry about because everything is perfect.

"Yeobo ~ ireona!" Harin shouted from outside with her sweet voice, seducing me to wake up.

All of us can have our own definition of perfection. In order not to be in a chaotic perfect world, setting your standard on the average is pretty much helpful. Dreaming big is good but settling yourself to a standard can make your life to be in much lesser away from the danger zone.

For three years living together with Harin as a married couple is imperfectly perfect. Both of us have our own colors but we were blessed that we complement each other well. Fighting is part of a relationship and we made sure to settle it right away.

Three years may not be that long but we managed to spend it like we're living our last lives. The business I started grow adequately which helped us to live decently. Harin is still working in the insurance company and made good relationship towards her manager and Kim Wooseok.

I woke up, welcomed by the Christmas atmosphere. I stepped on my bare feet on the wooden tiled floor. A new morning has been bestowed to us and I'm more than grateful to spend this new day with my love ones. I stretched my arms and craned my neck to each side to wake my senses.

The warm sunlight peeking through the opened window set on my stomach making me more awake. Clad only with my underwear, I set my feet out of our bedroom. Mentioning the word our and us give me a sense of satisfaction because not everyone experiences belongingness.

"Woo-ya, can you please turn around and wear something more decent?" She winced a little bit while pointing her laddle to my boxer. Instead of following her, I pull out a smirk and threw myself at her. Every time she calls me Woo-ya, I want her to cuddle and baby me.

I touched the diamond ring on her left finger, the symbol of our commitment for each other for the rest of our lives. "Let's protect our rings and never pawn these even if we'll experience drought."

"It will never happen, Woo-ya. The ring is like an organ to my body. Without these I might malfunction."

"You and your words yeobo.. I say I married the right woman for me."

My words earned a smile of approval from her. She nuzzled her nose to my sensitive neck.

Marriage.. the sacred thing that everyone should take seriously. Marriage is not all about love nor the solution to an accident pregnancy. It is about two parties agreeing to spend their lives together because of love and commitment. Marriage comes with having a family so the couple should consider all the aspects, especially the financial aspect. Money is not the sole reason of why we're living in this world but let's get real, not being financially stable will get you into a mess. You will not suffer alone but your family too.

Marriage is a risky but we managed to help each other in order to be on where we are right now. Living comfortably with my wife came true. I can't imagine myself witnessing Harin's marriage to another man. She's the one I want to grow old with and who'll hold my hand at the very end of my life.

"Waeyo? Naega neomu sexy hae?" I whispered to hear flustered ear when I saw her scanning my body. I teased a chuckle which garnered a painful pinch from her.
(Why? Am I too sexy?)

"That's a foul!" I brushed the side of my arm using a finger to lessen the pain. "Jeongmal nappeun agi!"
(What a bad baby!)

Harin gave me her contagious laugh, and sounded like an expression of amusement. Her laughs serve as my dose of happiness as I strive to live every day. Her laughs will always be therapeutic, especially when I'm the reason why she laughs.

I strode to the living room and threw myself at the bouncy sofa. Purchasing an apartment with my earnings can't be done within two years but I made it by taking out a mortgage in order to buy our house. Building a family doesn't need a perfect and luxurious house. We've settled in Seocho-dong at a 12th floor with a 105 meter squared apartment with three spacious bed room and two baths. The living room has a good view of the neighbouring buildings, thanks to the stationary picture window.

The 12 feet Christmas tree was placed near the window. Harin and I made it on the last day of November. Our theme for this year's Christmas is white that's why our Christmas tree is white. Dongpyo was the one who placed the star on the top.

We're on the second year of paying the mortgage and in the next three years, we will soon have this house with no extra worries.

I say, marriage life is no easy. All things come with price, like literally involving money, making me to do my best to flourished my business. Having a pregnant wife who asked for something strange at night might be tiring but I endured it. I saw my sister struggled when Dongpyo was on her womb that's why I can totally understand Harin's extraordinary requests. Glad I raised Dongpyo, it will be a piece of cake for me in raising our future kids. Yes, kids. I want five children if my wife agrees.

"You never listen to your wife as expected," Harin threw a fit when she saw me still on my boxers when I dragged the chair. She twitched her lips, disappointed.

I came back with my usual white T-shirt, which she meticulously hand wash assuring it's good as new, and a faded baggy pants.

"I honestly like you naked Seungwoo but I can't fathom if someone will suddenly make a visit then see your gorgeous body. Not even your sister." Harin said seriously, not hinting a bit of humor. Was she serious though?

My wife became affront and possesive when her pregnancy started. She doesn't want me to go out without anything that will cover my face.

"Yeobo.. wear something similar to your dad's outfit every time you step outside our house. We never know what will happen if you won't be circumspect about yourself."

My jaw literally dropped when she told me to wear the same as my father. She was true to her words because one time, she went shopping with abbeoji then gave me the clothes she wanted me to wear.

When she started her pregnancy, I am deprived of freedom on choosing what to wear. I didn't feel bad though but rather I feel more valuable. Her, being possesive and extra meticulous made me to love her even more. It's adorable to see her giving me the luxury of being taken care of. She cares a lot for me but this time, it's doubled. She let me feel that I am as expensive as gold.

What I liked the most about her being pregnant is she's blunt about her emotions to me. When she wanted to make love with me, she'll drag me inside our room and will always do the first move. Harin being dominant is sexy.

"Han Seungwoo, you're not listening!" She whined and stole away my empty plate.

And this is not what I like about her pregnancy — she's always whining like a child. She want me to be attentive whenever I'm facing her but sometimes I can't. Her beauty is a distraction.

"Yeah.. as usual you're drooling over me." She rolled her eyes like it's not a big deal.

I shook my head in bliss. Marriage life is a journey where blessings are overflowing. I can't wait to cuddle and shower with love our eldest. I will be a father again this time. Dongpyo will finally have a sibling!

As I do the dishes, a christmas song played inside the house. Christmas is one of my most anticipated time of the year because everyone feels kind and thoughtful. Family members are gathered in this moment of the year. I can't wait to spend my Christmas to our growing family.

Wow, mommy's kissing Santa Claus
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn't see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep
She thought that I was tucked up
In my bedroom, fast asleep

The plate slipped from my hand causing it to fall on the sink producing a shattering effect. It's only a Christmas song but it's giving me goosebumps. Does my wife plans to kiss Santa Claus? I can't imagine Harin kissing Santa Claus instead of me!

Then I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night

"Daddy will not let mommy kiss Santa Claus!" I snatched the phone from the table and clicked the pause button.

This is the first time I feel bothered by a song. It's embarrassing!

"Is my phone out of battery?" Harin innocently asked.

"Your song choice kinda bothers me." I honestly said.

Harin stretched a smirk. "Wear this tonight," she threw a medium box, sealed, on the floor. "I want to kiss Santa Claus tonight." She winked at me, leaving me blank.

Harin's mother, and my family arrived later that morning. They all helped us in preparing our noche buena for tonight. This year is more meaningful because we are blessed with a baby.

We prepared a lot because Harin craved for the foods. She listed all the foods she wanted to have for tonight and as a good husband, I followed my master. Well, we came to an agreement that we'll be giving foods to the orphanage where Sunhwa noona is working. Christmas is about giving love, sharing blessings and exchanging gifts. But never forget that we can always do those deeds even if it's not Christmas.

When it was 9 pm, I went inside our room. Harin was resting for the meantime while waiting for the clock to strike 12. The sealed box was on the floor. I carried it and placed it on the bed. I carefully opened the box and was extremely surprised to see a Santa Claus outfit. My face lights up in merriment as I imagined how would I look later. My smile broke into a grin when Harin opened her eyes.

"I do hope this is not my Christmas gift, sweetie.." I pulled out the white beard and tried to attach it on my face. Harin's eyes brimmed with joy as I tried to be funny.

"Your gift will be given under the mistletoe tonight." She flashed a refreshing smile and found myself cuddling with her.

"I'm looking forward to your gift," I answered with great anticipation.

She buried her face on my neck so I hugged her even more. My hand crawled to her stomach and lightly brushed it. "Baby.. grow up fast so mommy and daddy will make another baby."

"Yeobo!" Harin threatened when she heard what I said. "You shouldn't say things like that to our baby."

I brushed again her stomach and apologized. "Explore mommy's tummy as much as you could and if you want to explore the world outside mommy's tummy, be a good baby and don't let mommy have a hard time."

Actually, the fear about Harin's pregnancy has been with me since the beginning. I really do wish she will have a safe delivery and our baby will be healthy.

We were all gathered in the living room, accompanied by the joyous Christmas songs and with our gifts for everybody.

"Seungwoo.. this is beautiful." My mother-in-law's eyes sparked with delight as she opened my gift. It's a handbag from a well-known brand. She deserved it anyway.

"It should be as beautiful as you eommeoni."

Abbeoji received a watch from me, noona received a pair of stilletos and Dongpyo received a bicycle.

"I will only wear this at special occassions Seungwoo. I can't risk this to be snatched away from me. Gomawo~" Abbeoji tapped my back.

"Seungwoo-ya.." noona teared up as she wore the stilletos.

Dongpyo, on the other hand, went crazy to his new bicycle.

"Dongpyo-ah! You can ride the bike tomorrow." I called him out when he hit on the wall. "Appa, teach me tomorrow!"

Thirty minutes before the clock strikes twelve, I hurriedly changed into my Santa outfit. They were all outside and I'm guessing Dongpyo will be in awe if he'll see me. He grew three years older but he's still a child.

I peeked outside and saw Dongpyo lying down on the sofa. Harin was busy brushing his hair.

"Dongpyo.. what if Santa Claus will appear tonight? What will you say?" She asked and I smiled. I did not wait for Dongpyo's response and showed myself to my family.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmaaas!!" I jumped in front of everyone. Dongpyo's eyes widened as he saw me dancing around.

"Santa! I want gift! Gift!" He left the sofa and jumped with me. Smile was enveloping his face and his eyes twinkled the brightest like the Polaris.

Candies were the only thing I can give to Dongpyo inside my pocket. This was Harin's idea so there's no preparation. He accepted the candies from me but he requested for another things too. Airplane, ship and guns were all his request but I can only afford to buy a toy gun.

The outfit was itchy and uncomfortable especially now that we're eating our noche buena. Sweats kept on streaming on my forehead so I decided to take off the Santa hat and the beard even if I was attacked by Harin's deathly glares.

"Yeo-yeobo.. can you please give me the bulgogi?"

I don't know why I'm nervous maybe because I don't want to let down Harin?

Harin ignored me so I put back what I had taken off. I cleared my throat so she would notice me. When she saw me, she bursts into laughter.

"Santa is so obedient!" She cheered and fed me with a mouthful of bulgogi.

We all raised our wine glass as the countdown for Christmas started. "..two.. one.. MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

Being on the 12th floor wasn't a hindrance to hear the loud noises from outside. We witnessed the colorful fireworks dancing on the sky.

"Merry Christmas, yeobo.. Merry Christmas baby.." I kissed Harin's stomach after I whispered my greetings to our baby.

"I'll give you my present," Harin giggled to my ear, making me excited.

The two of us exited the crowd and sprinted towards the door. There was a mistletoe laced on our door frame.

Underneath the mistletoe with my wife feels like a teenager thing. She wore a white contrast stitch shirtdress by Aje which made her more lovely than usual. Her shoulder length raven black hair flow perfectly and her air bangs made it more perfect.

Our eyes locked in anticipation, slowly showing the thin sturdy invisible line of our bond. A bond built and developed by our constant affection fertilized with faith and trust.

The sun has set upon on her eyes, glowing of desire and devotion. I was enthralled by it's luring glow, that I found myself being hypnotized by it again. For numerous times since I saw the light on her eyes from that day, I said to myself that this light will be forever be my light.

Every inch of her self screams beauty and value. The orbs on her eyes glittered in every point, lighting my path as I leaned closer to her. My hand went to reach her soft cheek, grazing the corner of her plump lips.

I saw the reflection of my passion on her lucent eyes. As I live my life, I am not living for the sake to live but I am living for my wife and children. Everyday is a challenge. Challenge on how to survive in this beautiful yet chaotic world.

"The best gift I ever received is you, Seungwoo. Without you, there will be no baby inside my womb now. Thank you for letting me become the mother of your children and the woman you want to grow old with."

Our attraction for each other became more firm because of our transparency with our feelings. We unravel each other's emotions to the point that we can read each other's mind.

Harin removed the beard on my face, throwing it inside the house. Using her index finger she traced my face, I closed my eyes to feel her warmth.

"Don't close your eyes, yeobo. Let me see how deep your eyes can be because I'm willing to dive into it." She uttered with her sweet and cocky voice.

I lost words with her touch. I can now testify that a person's capacity to love is vast. It has no ending point, it's endless. But I am not afraid to love her immensely.

"Yoon Harin, you're the only woman I love in this life time and I will not wish to be reincarnated because in this life time, our memories will be enough for me. I only want to remember our original memories."

She smiled, washing away all my worries. "This life is already enough for me too, Seungwoo."

The velocity seemed to be slower as I closed our distance. She curled her hands on my shoulder, and I took it as a signal to seal our passion. The taste of her was a mixture of wine and mint, a new taste that I never thiught I was longing for. Harin drew me to her, making me explore the new world she introduced. I opened my eyes only to see her sleepy eyes being drowned into the new world. The new world was gravity free, I could feel ourselves levitating off the ground, our feet touched the soft clouds of our dreams.

We parted to catch a breath but our faces remained a five inches distance.

"Always remember that my life is dedicated to you and to the family we're building. I love you," I whispered under my breath and stole a quick kiss.

"Merry Christmas, Seungwoo. I love you three thousand."

Yoon Harin, the woman who painted my dull life with the colors I've never seen before. She awakened my senses and helped me to dream higher. She's always there to support me in my decisions and my happy pill whenever the sun will not shine on me. My existence became more important on the day she told me that she loves me.

I, Han Seungwoo, was only an ordinary taxi driver but she never hesitated to love me. I will be forever grateful to be a taxi driver because I found the woman whom I want to spend my life with.

I don't need a perfect life. I only need a life with solutions to the problems I'll encounter. A life with no regret and full of mirth as a husband and as a father.

And a life together with the only woman I love, Yoon Harin.

THE END