Chapter 20: Secret
Chapter Theme:
On My Own - Amber

Han Seungwoo

"How's your trip?"

Lee Jinhyuk was sitting on the passenger's seat while his son, Lee Jinwoo was sitting on the backseat alongside with Dongpyo.

Jinhyuk-ssi told me that his son is kinda aloof to someone he's not familiar with. I already briefed Dongpyo about his new friend that's why he's taking small actions to interact with him.

"Haenami's been so fascinated in the airplane. His dream is to become a pilot and he said I made his wish came true." Jinhyuk was all smiley when he described his son's reaction while riding the plane.

"It must be a good experience for the kid. Being on the plane for the first time can really make you feel giddy."

I glanced at the front mirror to see how the two kids been doing. Jinwoo's still kinda stiff towards Dongpyo but he was able to offer him a smile.

"Jinwoo-yah.. do you have a bestfriend in your school?" Dongpyo asked while playing on Jinwoo's phone. Jinwoo was just intently watching my son on playing plants vs. zombies.

"Aniyo.. they're mean to me!" Jinwoo answered in full honesty.

Jinhyuk chuckled so I turned my attention to him. "Jinwoo's kinda cute so the kids on his school are so fond of his cheeks but he always complain to me that he's not happy with it 'cause it hurts him. Literally, the physical pain."

"Now, he should be careful of Dongpyo. Dongpyo got a friend with chubby cheeks and he's very fond of it."

Jinhyuk and Jinwoo will be staying here for a week to let Jinwoo experience the Seoul life. I fetched them on the airport earlier and I was asked by Jinhyuk to bring Dongpyo with me so his son won't be bored.

"I'll just call you if I need any help, Seungwoo-ssi." They got off from the taxi and bid their goodbyes.

Jinwoo and Dongpyo shared the same sad faces because they'll be separated from each other. "We will invite Dongpyo and his friend some other time, okay?"

Jinwoo nodded and ran towards Dongpyo to gave him a hug. Fathers best buddies, now our sons will be best buddies too. Great!

"Dongpyo-ah, where do you wanna go?"

It's been a week since that day happened and I wanted to compensate for Dongpyo. My child deserves an enormous attention and affection from me. I couldn't deprived him of that.

"Appa.. I want to play in the play ground! And I want to eat a lot of gummy bears!" Dongpyo exclaimed while raising his hands in the air and his mouth agape.

"Playground then."

I am currently watching Dongpyo playing on the slides with my arm crossed and my back leaning on the cement bench.

"Becareful Dongpyo-ah!"

There were kids on the playground and Dongpyo was able to interact with them. They kept on running, sliding, playing on the monkey bars and on the seesaw.

I called Dongpyo for a moment to change his clothes because he was sweating all over his body. I put a baby powder on his back, neck and chest to protect him from the bad odor.

"Hmm.." I smelled Dongpyo and he smelled so good just like me.

"Seungwoo hyung!" The familiar voice of Hangyul dominated my ears. He was with Dohyon who was crying and threw tantrums.

"Hangyul-ssi! What's wrong with your nephew?" I asked wondering why his nephew was badly crying. Knowing Hangyul, he's not good at babysitting. Maybe when Dohyon asked for something, he did not give it.

"Aish! This kid wanted to play with me at home but I declined because he's so bossy that's why I brought him here but he doesn't want to play here."

As soon as Dongpyo saw Dohyon, he ran towards him and invited him to play. Dohyon's glum face became bright like his ball of sunshine saved him.

"Yah Dohyon! Becareful!" Hangyul shouted to his running nephew.

"Where are their parents?"

"Their busy and I was busy but they insisted to take care of their bossy son!" He lamented for the burden that was passed to him.

I motioned him to sit next to me and he sat down. "Hangyul-ah, you should be patient to your nephew. Dohyon's age need so much guidance from his elders and he's not being bossy, he's just being a loving nephew. Read his actions well so you'll be able to understand what truely he wanted to do together."

Hangyul just shrugged and eyed Dohyon who was busy playing on the seesaw. "It's too hard to deal with his tantrums.. he's such a spoiled kid."

"If they spoiled him, you should not but don't let him feel that you are against on all the things he do. Let him discover things and guide him in each step. Don't forget to compliment him when he accomplishes a thing, may it be a success or a failure. Remind him that failing doesn't make him inferior and explain to him the good side of failing. Remind him too that being successful doesn't means that his superior to anyone, teach him how to be humble and how to lend his helping hand to others."

Those were the words that abbeoji told me when Dongpyo came to our life and he told me not to hesitate the things he taught me to others.

I glanced at Hangyul with full smile and a beaming eyes. The latter did not even faint a smile but rather, his face was occupied with perplexity. His face was too visible to read that what I said to him was unbelievable.

"Yah Seungwoo hyung!" He repined at my remark. "For your information, I am not raising Dohyon! Tell that to his parents. Aigoo, you're making me frantic," he held his chest like something big attacked him and he shook his head in disagreement.

"But honestly hyung, my sister really had a hard time on raising Dohyon especially that Seungyoun hyung is busy with his work. I really can't imagine myself in your shoes, hyung. Being a father is a great responsibility and I salute you for being one." He heaved a deep sigh while watching the kids playing. I was influenced to watch the kids too and I realized how much strength and courage I had discovered from myself.

I totally understand Hangyul's sentiments. When Dongpyo came to my life, I was scared if I'll become a good father. "Being a father is a life long duty, Hangyul-ah. Rushing things will not help you so take everything slowly until you'll become ready."

Looking around, I could appreciate the color schemes that are naturally given. Green dominated the whole area even though the place is urbanized.

"Hangyul-ah, I'll buy some snack and don't you dare remove your eyes on the kids, alright?" I stood up and eyed the kids before buying.

"Don't take too much time hyung! Two kids are disaster and it might be the end of my life!" Hangyul said dramatically while pointing at the sexy women from afar. He's worried if the sexy women will see him, taking care of two kids.

"Just deal with them for a moment. Being their father for minutes will not make you die!" I teased him and all he could do was to send death glares at me. He creased his forehead and twitched his lips.

"Dongpyo-ya, Dohyon-ah! Hangyul will be your temporary father for a moment. Boys, please behave okay?"

The kids gave me thumbs up then I treaded my way to the nearest convience store.

"I want the most expensive energy drink!" Hangyul shouted and I gave him a nod.

As I entered the convenience store, the attendant greeted me. I just gave her a small smile and headed towards the location of the refregirators. I picked two chocolate drinks for the kids and two caramel coffees for Hangyul and I. There was a basket so I put them there for the meantime 'cause I'm still looking for snacks.

Luckily, there was a sausage, rice cake and sandwich. I picked four pieces of each kind and placed it inside the basket.

"Thank you, sir. Please come again!"

Each of my hand was holding a plastic bag. I looked back in the store when I felt that someone was staring at me. There was a woman with shoulder length hair who was busy picking snacks on the rack and I don't think she saw me. I continued my pace with full grace.

Intuition's telling me that something was off as soon as I stepped out the store but I shrugged it away. Negativity shouldn't be fostered. It should be thrown right away the moment you feel it.

Walking down the alley, with the sun shining so brightly is not scary. But in my state right now, I felt that someone was walking behind me. Han Seungwoo calm down. Don't panick. That was the only thing I can do to kept myself calm. Before anything bad could happen to me, I ran like a prey trying to escape from my predator.

My whole body calmed when the playground was only a meter away from me. I didn't not even dare to look back if someone was really chasing after me. I am not being a coward, I am just protecting myself from harm.

When I arrived, Hangyul was snoring, his face facing the sky with a hanky covering his face. His arms and legs were crossed. To my guess, he drifted to sleep as soon as I made my exit earlier. I was about to laugh at his position when I remembered the kids.

"Aish!" I recklessly placed the plastic bags on the bench and looked for the kids right away.

"Dongpyo-ya! Dohyon-ah!" I shouted hoping that the kids will hear me. They were out of sight and I was already thinking bad.

"No.. please." I uttered to myself. What if there was really someone walking behind me earlier to make sure that I won't know about the disappearance of the kids? What if it was planned all along and they medicated Hangyul to be unconscious?

Stop overthinking! My inner mind told me.

My search continued and I asked several kids and guardians if they had seen them by showing them the kids pictures. Everytime they will say no, my fear heightened. They're still young to handle such disaster and the people behind this might hurt them physically and emotionally. I can't afford to lose the kids at this point.

There were no traces of Dongpyo and Dohyon in the playground. My knees trembled as I walked back to where Hangyul was.

"Appa!" Tears fell as I heard Dongpyo's voice ringing in my ear. He's a sweet and thoughtful kid. Now, I can only imagine his voice. I wouldn't be able to give him hugs and kisses.

"Yah hyung why are you crying?!" Hangyul's voice was full of mockery. I don't want to blame him but because of his tone, I wanted to blame it to him.

"LEE HANGYUL!" Even I, I couldn't recognized my own voice for speaking too loud and angrily. Hangyul's face was confused on why I am so angry.

"Appa, why are you so angry?!" Dongpyo came down from the bench while holding his box of chocolate drink and a sausage in a stick on the other hand.

A fresh air consumed me after seeing Dongpyo standing in front of me unscathed. He was all well from head to toe. I hugged and kissed him all over his face. Dongpyo nudged my face and went back to the bench.

It was a bit embarrassing for acting so angry earlier towards Hangyul because my voice invited some attention. "DON'T EAT ALL THE SAUSAGES!"

Hangyul's face brightened as he heard my statement. "Ah! I was a bit confused on why are you so angry! I almost lost my blood hyung. Angry Han Seungwoo is such a scary sight." Hangyul acted like he shivered.

"Appa, I thought you'll gonna kill Hangyul hyung. Dohyon was ready to call uncle Seungyoun if you killed him." Dongpyo lifelessly pointed at Hangyul who was busy munching his share of snacks. On the other hand, Dohyon's mouth was open, I guess trying to process all the thing that happened.

In order to feed my curiosity, I asked Dongpyo where were they when I arrived because I didn't see them.

"Dohyon wanted to poop so I accompanied him." Dongpyo slightly laughed while looking at Dohyon who was all red in embarrassment?

Dongpyo continued, "Dohyon doesn't know how to wash his butt so I asked some uncles on the restroom to help him."

"Your Hangyul hyung is here, you should have ask him."

This time Dohyon answered, "Hangyul hyung doesn't want to get his hands dirty when I told him I want to poop."

I stared at Hangyul for being such an idiot towards the kids.

"I didn't bring my sanitizer, okay?" Hangyul defended himself. I snatched the sausage in his hand. "That's mine!"

"Y'all made me worried. The sandwiches are all mine okay?!"

They all fussed in unison.

***

The day was exhausting and I almost go crazy but everytime Dongpyo exclaimed how happy he was to play with Dohyon, my dose of happiness increases too.

Dongpyo's my happy pill and losing him will be the end of me. Not having him around will cause an endless pain so I must protect him at all cost.

"Dongpyo-ya.. always remember that you can't talk with strangers. You should not come with them even if they'll give you gummy bears okay?"

"Mianhae appa," Dongpyo pouted and his eyes were sorry. "An ahjumma came to me and asked me if I am your son and I said yes."

"An ahjumma..?" I asked suspiciously trying to figure out if who was it. Maybe a relative? I consoled myself.

"Ne. She was pretty and when Dohyon came, he said that I looked like her.. but she's a total stranger!"

I swallowed a lump in my throat. Can I really trust Dohyon's word? How did he able to compare their faces?

"Did she tell you her name?"

Dongpyo shook his head. "Ani.. Dohyon dragged me right after he said that I looked like her."

Who could it be?

"Alright, you shouldn't answer questions from strangers because they might harm you."

"Appa, are you hurt? Did she hurt you?" Dongpyo was so worried that he even gave me a hug.

"No.. she didn't hurt me and I won't let her hurt us." I said with finality.

If it was her, I need to be careful from now on. Abbeoji should know about this so that when she will appear, she will not give him a shock.

"Ahjussi!" Jinhyuk greeted abbeoji with a pat on the shoulders. "You're still looking young!"

"Jinhyuk-ssi, you did not change. You're still a joker! Now look at what we have here.." abbeoji set his eyes directly at Jinwoo who was bashful. He hid on his father's pants but Jinhyuk told him that it's okay.

"Annyeonghaseyo," Jinwoo slightly bowed but still timid. His actions were diminutive until Dongpyo held his hand and invited him to play.

Upon my father's request, I invited them to have dinner in our home. Abbeoji cooked all the foods set on the table just like the old days.

"How's your life in Jeju?" Abbeoji started the conversation. Jinhyuk swallowed the food first before glancing at my father.

"We lived a minimalism life which made Jinwoo to be somewhat aloof everytime he meets someone new."

"But Jinwoo's already in kindergarten right?"

"Yes, but he barely interacts with his classmates that's why we're planning to move here in Seoul." Jinhyuk took a glance to his son. "Seeing how he enjoys Dongpyo's company means so much to me."

A couple of conversations were shared on the dining table when I was cut-off by the ring of my phone.

"Yeoboseyo?" I answered the phone, thinking it might be a loyal passenger. "Yeoboseyo?"

There was no answer from the other party which made me think that maybe it was just a prank call. I turned off my phone for less disturbance.

But was it really a prank call? A small voice crept on my mind. What if it was Harin? The probability that it was Harin was low. She's not that kind of a woman to be speechless, she's talkative.

What if it was her?

My thoughts were interrupted when Jinhyuk poked my back.

"You're spacing out." It was not a question.

"I'm just wondering about your future life here in Seoul. Dongpyo will be happy to see Jinwoo everyday." I lied.

I'm still not comfortable to talk about Harin 'cause we're not even a thing and that special day was not even planned and I haven't made my first step yet.

The last time I met Jinhyuk, his eyes weren't that curious compared today and it made me slightly uncomfortable.

"Are you planning to get married here in Seoul?" I was so lucky that I traced back the memories when we met so I had the chance to divert his mind from his curiousity about me.

"I don't really know but buying a wedding ring's already my plan. It's up to her where she wants to get wed." He told me so smoothly. It made me nervous how I can't think of any follow up questions.

"So.. are you still liking the woman?" His question caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting for this question to be asked and I'm relieved.

"I don't know how to put it Jinhyuk-ssi.. unfortunately yes..?" I sounded too unsure for my answer. His eyes wondered to my pathetic answer.

"Isn't it a good thing to like someone? Are you scared that Dongpyo might not like her and vice versa?" Jinhyuk's voice was full of worry for he found my situation pitiful.

Thinking about the outcome of my impulsiveness on that day made it unfortunate. I can't be too selfish for my actual responsibilities. I need to act and think rational for the benefit of everyone.

"My son isn't used about me having a relationship so I'm actually scared if he'll agree to my selfishness."

"Seungwoo-ssi, it's your heart that flutters. Don't hesitate to take a step forward and be selfish, because to tell you frankly, loving someone is not a selfish act." Jinhyuk lectured which made me think of my view about love as selfish due to my actual responsibilities.

"Your sigh already tells a tons of stories. Try to exhale it sometimes, you need to take a step for you to move on. You can't keep a secret from me Seungwoo-ssi. I've got eyes and ears while I was away.. you're too transparent with your feelings."

I'm feeling pale and cold. "Jinhyuk-ssi, don't try to shake me up."

Jinhyuk patted my back for me to calm. "You can be both happy at the same time, Seungwoo. Fear will never be erased but don't let it consume you. Try to follow your heart for the first time in your new life. Dongpyo will soon accept her and don't keep Dongpyo as a secret for it will cause an unlikely scenario."

I wanted to let out my true feelings to Jinhyuk but I can't. I can't just spill all the truths in his face 'cause I don't want to cause trouble. Keeping this secret for years had burdened me. My ears were always shut for the undying questions from my acquaintances.

"Thank you for the advice, Jinhyuk-ssi. Your words triggered my coward soul."

Jinhyuk declined my offer that I'll drive them back to the place they're staying.

As I turned on my phone, there was a message from an unregistered number telling me that I need to meet this unregistered number in Naksan Park tomorrow.

And suddenly a new message has popped up. It was from an unregistered number too but when I read the message, my heart suddenly beats wildly.

Han Seungwoo. Meet me at Naksan Park tomorrow at 6 pm. I have something to say.
- Yoon Harin

I replied okay and I asked her if she texted me before with a different number but she told me she didn't.