CHAPTER SEVEN: IN DECLARATION
𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘺, 𝘸𝘢𝘴
𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘰 𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯,
𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥.

✰
DEAREST DIARY,
I have expended numerous of raw, frigid and bitter darknesses inquiring of myself, "when will my duration be over?", and, "will I ever be set free from this dreadful locale? A residence that inhaled and exhaled a murky chasm, only now slowly swivelling into a thin lining of travesty and caricature that can only concentrate on my growing disappointment, sins, and insecurities?".

If that was the litigation, I only wish for God himself to come strike me when the next thunderstorm started. Hence to my luck, we were having one tonight, and from the onset of eternity as we initiate expending the evidence of our presence on this globe; the one location in the world eligible to get called family, and is estimated by the earthlings. I mean, yeah we have grown up to subconsciously dislike going around and attending a place that was filled with a bunch of other people.

Especially when it is me. The impression made my physique tremble, as if it was jammed in a tiny receptacle of overcrowded sardines. Even though I am encircled by numerous of lives, I still felt a vacant, alone, and unprotected at the same time.Whilst proceeding to obtain the common and lengthy way towards [1] Mephisto Cain Morte High, the school I am currently attending within my second year, had existed and deemed much more hesitant towards other people around me.

Some teenagers my age normally would not want to miss their first classes of the morning or early semester, or even the first school bell reminding them that classes will begin momentarily. Possibly, maybe even facing the wrath of their own professors if they were one minute past late.But me? Well, to me, it just makes me feel like I was senseless. The sudden urge of having no purpose in this environment, or even belonging here, much so elsewhere.

Yet, there were much more reasons as to why I had still chose the long route; and that is because there wasn't much people to socialize with, get rowdy, in a brawl, or having someone-a crackhead blatantly robbing you of your own being. But, even so, as long as not many people were not present, there are still a few that hung around the areas of interest. Most of them being The socialists of High School dropouts, Drug Dealers, or The irregular and everyday Classroom Skippers; the bad kids that have the opportunity of an unnecessary reputation in the educational department of society.

Then, as my mind wandered off mindlessly to the next step, my eyes downcast, staring blankly at the rocky and muggy ground I was walking on, shoulders slumped, and my hands began to clench and unclench deeply into the pocket of my pants. This was a habit of mine I had for a long time, yet no one seemed to care, or even acknowledge my existence. I knew that there wasn't much of an expression on my face, rather the usual one I wore; solemn and distant, the lips curved downward into a unnoticed frown, making them look as if always going to be deep in thought, alwith the mysterious and glazed eyes.

"He really did let himself go, and this time around, it was not just for the record, and safe of being able to image-wise for better or worse. what would your professo think-wait, no, scratch that! she wouldn't care about you. You are nothing but a parasitic germ in our schools ecosystem."

I muttered deliberately to myself, brining my self-esteem lower than the other. Subliminally combatting with my subconscious, my eyes landed on a knowledgeable building; the campus filled with an arrangement of groups of students from different ethnics, and hung with their own personal clique of friends. Soon, my eyes landed on one person in particular.

I watched as her hair fell loosely into curls; an ombré effect of brown and auburn, with a hint on chestnut highlights, captivating me in a trance ever since I stepped into this environment. It was not cliche when I say, that I had once fell in love with a girl that was once my mentor and best friend? Stopping in my tracks, the sound of her laughter rung through my ears; an image of her smiling was like a tape I could record, and not get tired of watching. It was here to stay, and couldn't be pushed out of my head, and my heart won't stop beating whenever I was presented around her.

Sometimes, thinking to myself, leads me to wonder if her and i had went through a rough breakup, but it turns out-that it was more than just that and I do not want to talk about it.

At least not yet.

"Hey, you, depressed faggot! Can you stop staring at my girlfriend? You're freaking her out with your ugliness." Flinching at the sudden voice, my eyes widen before landing on the same group people-the leader glaring at me as he wrapped his arms around her. As I tried to move my body, my feet felt like they were stuck in glue and the mind itself was slowly drowning in an embarrassment of quicksand.

The blood pumping throughout my veins and into my body accelerated, making my hands feel cool, and tips of my fingers go numb. Controlling the quickening pace my heart, I swallowed a breath I was holding, making the Adam's apple that was apart of my esophagus bob, then began to profusely clench and unclench my hands.

"What's the matter, freak? You can't speak now? Shit, I'm surprised, since you had a lot to say after that video you posted." Frozen, and confused in my spot, I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing can out, other than breathless mumbles. Suddenly, a blur passed me as my body came in contact with a cold and hard surface, my head going back as it hit the ground. Blinking, my vision blurred, before, I was as yanked up by the collar or my shirt and was forced to look at the wrath of the leader.

My sight fading in and out, as his face held the look of animosity and loathing, staring down at at my hazardous state. "You should really learn how to keep that mouth of yours shut. Maybe you should just stick to sucking dick, since that what you seem to be good at." he snarled, his lip twitching, making me subconsciously flinch as a few of his saliva sprayed onto my face, yet I gazed up at him with an emotionless face, my eyes a bit hazy-but that still didn't stop me from listening to him.

"Fucking slut."

Shakily, I brung my hand up and wrapped my cold fingers around his wrist, both of our eyes locking and not breaking contact. his eyes seemed to have widen from the touch, but that disappeared and turned into a glare. "Has ... hasn't anyone ever told you not to harass another person on our schools campus? Be ... because if they haven't said so, I'm telling you now." I hoarsely told him, my voice holding no emotion as I spoke, giving him a smug look. The pain I was suppose to be feeling after the impact I had, was still there-yet it didn't bother me.

'It felt, kind of good in a way.'

The delicate irritation of my durabilities tingling; corresponding to nails and pointers, made me unknowingly feel at ease. It was unique than dealing with injury. Some people would just look at somebody and the second they come in connection with pain-they presume to put on a show and react a certain way. But me - how was I suppose to respond, when I am already utilized to the pain given to me?

"Authentic statements spoken, yet coming from like an anomaly like you. Now, let's see if you really are as dangerous as you internally stake to be. Which, I highly deny."