Its harder to wink with my left eye...
I wonder is it because I'm right handed so that's why.

Also I didn't get any sleep..

Sigh...

Why? Why do I always mess up? 
I sometimes feel like there's a battle going on inside my head and I'm waiting for the winner to speak..
Why is it always bad...?
Why does every word I utter make everything a whole lot worse...
I hate myself..
I wish I could blame you..
But the finger is always pointed back at me...
Its my fault
I'm in control of my actions...
But why..why do I ever learn
Everything i do and say...its wrong
The people i trust speaking against this..
But the people i truly want to impress think, believe and know it's true
I just don't know what to do or say
Especially to you
I need advice
But why ask for advice
If I'm not gonna listen
You have every right to be harsh
But it doesn't help..
It doesn't..
What you say won't be what I want to hear
But try making it where i don't sound like a disappointment because all I ever wanted to do is to impress you
Because I look up to you
But I know you look down on me
Just because I'm older doesn't mean I'm the wiser
Will it ever get better?
Will it ever truly be better?
Don't lie to me..
Your words mean more than you think;
Maybe that's why..
Maybe that's why they have so much effect on me..?
I don't know who I am anymore?
This person who thrives to be the best person, making others laugh and give great advice?
Or the sarcastic person that's hard to warm up to and its hard for them to trust you..?