You know for some reason I keep rizzing people up without realizing it. I don't even know how I'm doing it it just happens randomly! But for some reason I can't do it irl because I freak out. I just wanna be able to do that irl ;-;. Sometimes I do it intentionally but it just happens and I don't know why. Anyways I hope you enjoy chapter 59.
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Soviet POV

Another week in the hospital flew by fast. I didn't even realize that a week has gone by until I was actually told. For this past week ROC and PRC took turns visiting me in the hospital. Sadly they couldn't come together because one of them has to stay with GDR and FRG. Russia hasn't left my side even though we've tried to get him to go with ROC and PRC. Whenever we tried to get him out of the room he would always just cling onto me and wouldn't let go. Sometimes he would spend the entire day just on me like a monkey and today was one of those days.

Russia's little arms were wrapped around me the best that he could with his head on my chest. I didn't really mind it though, he wasn't heavy enough to cause any type of discomfort.

He was usually quiet and barley said anything. When he did say something it was usually to ask me something, respond to a question, or yell about wanting to stay with me when we try to attempt to get him off of me. I can tell that he wasn't the happy Russia I knew before that night and it broke my heart. It broke my heart that I couldn't prevent my child from getting into a position like this.

Thinking back on that day and seeing the petrified look on Russia's face haunted me. I never wanted my child to give me that look and I couldn't do anything about it. I hated being so useless like that.

I haven't seen FRG and GDR ever since that day to. I'm worried for the both of them and I wanted to know if their okay. I knew they're more then likely okay physically because their not in the hospital but I wanted to know if their okay mentally.

I mean they must have woken up to all the commotion right. I mean I know FRG is a very heavy sleeper but he can't be that much of a heavy sleeper right? I know that more then likely GRD had to have woken up because he's quite a light sleeper. I just know that they had to have heard what happened.

I want to see them I really really do but I couldn't. I already have Russia to deal with and if they didn't want to leave either then that would probably be a bit to much. All 3 of them were a hassle when I was physically in perfect shape but I didn't necessarily know about now.

I wanted to believe that FRG is still the hyper and talkative kid I know and I wanted to believe that GRD is still the smart and attentive kid I know. I didn't want to believe that they could be as drained as Russia is at the moment. I just wanted them all to be happy like they were before that incident.

I had to get hit with the reality that Russia is in fact not the same and I didn't want to get hit with it again. Though I know I have to at some point but I just didn't want to now.

I then heard a knock on the door and I looked over. My eyes widen a bit and I tensed up a bit at the sight of him.

Reich stood there leaning against the door frame looking at me. "Well it's been awhile." he said as he pushed himself off the door frame. I felt as Russia held onto me harder but he still didn't look up from where his head was placed. I placed my hand on his shoulder and looked down at Russia, not saying a single word. Safe to say I was scared to speak.

"You know it's impolite and rude to not say anything when you're being spoken to." he sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. "Be grateful that I decided to take time out of my day to come see you."

I didn't really know exactly how I felt in this situation. I knew it had to be a mixture between scared, sad, angry, and maybe guilty. I don't really know why I would feel guilty but I just had that feeling.

I looked over at Reich and really gave him a good look. The eye that wasn't covered by a eye patch was a dark red instead of a lighter red like It normally is. It was like it was blood shot really badly. I could tell he was also really tired and swayed left and right a bit. I can also smell a bit of alcohol and some type of drug I think on his character.

"What have you been doing?" I quietly said and he looked at me. "What does it look like I've been doing?" I brought Russia closer to myself. I didn't want Reich in this sort of state to be near him.

"You know I'm not high or drunk at all, its just the aftereffects." if Reich was attempting to make me feel better by saying that then he was definitely doing a horrible job. How was that supposed to make me feel better? He just admitted to the fact that he was taking drugs and drinking way to much.

"That doesn't make anything better." I looked away and back down at Russia. How did I even love this man? "Look at me." I didn't comply, I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to see the state Reich was in. I didn't want to see the person my husband has become. It's crazy what could happen in just 2 weeks.

"Soviet I said look at me." I didn't do it. I knew I was making him mad but I couldn't really care. What's the point on caring so much if I will just get hurt later for another reason anyways. What's the point on trying to escape it when I really couldn't.

I then felt as Reich grabbed my jaw with his hand, forcefully making me look at him. I couldn't be surprised by it anymore. When Reich wanted something then you know you had to give it to him. I've learned that during my marriage with Reich that he doesn't take no for an answer. "I said look at me, do you ever learn how to follow directions?"

"I guess not." I blankly said and Reich seemed to not like that answer. "You know I'm trying to make things better for you but your really not making it easy." I felt as Reich's grip got a bit tighter. "So you're saying it's hard to kiss me? That's what you always do to "make things better"." it was true. That's what Reich always did to make it up to me.

It was always either a kiss that eventually lead to more or he would just leave me alone in my pain and sadness. Since he was here I knew it was the first thing.

"Are you really expecting me to do that." I just nodded my head the best I could with the situation I'm in. "You always do that."

"Just shut up." and I did exactly that. I know he was hating the way I was acting to him. I could tell that he didn't know what to really do though. Like he was stumped by my actions. He knew he couldn't do much to me though. We were in a public space and I do have a child practically ontop of me.

He took his hand off my jaw and onto my cheek. He then looked down at Russia and right back up at me. Reich then got closer to me and I felt as my face started to heat up but I just looked away. "Not right now Reich."

"So I can't even have a kiss from you even after you decided to be bitchy to me?" I felt as he moved away and I looked back at him. "I don't want one and besides Russia's right here, knowing you, you're going to try and do something else." Reich sighed and got up from the bed.

"Your just completely useless to me then." of course I'm useless to him. When do I ever have any use for him other then for a sexual reason? "Yeah I know that, you've said it before." he walked over to the door and looked back at me. "Good because it's a fact." he then walked out of the hospital room not even bothering to close the door behind him.

I sighed and closed my eyes. I then felt a horrible feeling in my chest. Why was Reich like this? What happened to the man I fell in love with? The one I decided to get married to and have a family with. It's like I question that a lot. Where did everything go wrong? Where did I possibly go wrong?

"Папа your not useless." I looked down at Russia but he just kept looking at the wall. "I appreciate you saying that but you don't need to get yourself in mine and мама's business." Russia didn't respond to me instead he placed his entire body ontop of me.

"Why is мама being mean to us? Did we do anything wrong?" I started to rub his back. "I don't know but I'm sure we didn't do anything wrong." I then heard Russia little sniffles. "T-then why does ма-мама not want m-me?" I then felt as Russia grabbed onto my shirt harder as it started to get wet with his tears.

"Russia I'm sure мама wants you." he just shook his head. "No мама doesn't w-want me in his l-life h-e said it himself!" he just started to cry harder and he buried his face into my chest.

I started to play with his hair along with rubbing his back. It broke my heart all over again hearing his cries. I hated it all so much but I need to focus on calming him down.

"Can you look at me?" Russia looked up at me and just seeing the tears run down his face made me want to cry but I couldn't do that. I couldn't cry in front of Russia. "You know I want you in my life, your one of the best things that could ever happen to me." I gave him a warm smile. "Y-you do?" I nodded my head. "Of course I do, I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have my baby boy in my life." Russia then started to cry even harder and he then hugged me while placing his head on my shoulder.

I then hugged him back just as tight and placed my own head on his. "I-i love you s'much папа." I smiled and felt as my own eyes started to get wet with tears.

"I love you to my son."

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So I've been reading this book and at the moment I keep getting angst chapter after angst chapter so now I'm sad. I never realized how draining reading angst actually is. Writing it is easy for me but reading it is its own thing. So I decided to be nice to y'all so a fluff chapter is in the making at the moment. I will give you all fluff at some point so you're welcome. Anyways I sadly don't have any pictures for you today but hopefully my surprise was good enough.

Anyways I hope you have a good day/morning/night or whatever time you are reading this.

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From this lovely author,🌹Rose🌹 (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤