Nothing has changed.

After I woke up from being unconscious, I was holding Thomas' hand again.

Elliot wasn't there and before I knew it the guilt washed over me so hard and I fast I cried for good ten minutes.

I do believe there's more to it. The fact I wasn't alone lifted a heavy weight off my chest. And I was frustrated I was still here.

In a hospital.

Thomas and I exchanged a few words but I didn't feel like talking at all. He understands that, hopefully, though he doesn't look bothered by it.

The few things he told me because I wanted to know are that I was out for like four hours, the stitches I didn't knew I got ripped open when I put pressure on the leg, I passed out due to too much blood loss and Elliot didn't show up once.

My parents did and they told me he was outside to catch some fresh air. Right now they probably have a talk with my doctor.

"What is this?" I asked, look distant. "What is what?" He asked back. I held up our hands. "This."

For a second he was thoughtful. "I have no idea." Great. That was so enlightening. "I do know that I like you, as a friend, of course." He quickly added. He muttered something to himself I wasn't able to understand.

I knew I liked him too, as a friend, of course. Even if not, I really wasn't in the mood to figure my feelings out. I wanted to reconcile with Elliot first.

"I really don't want to deal or figure out my feelings right now." I told him under a breath. "That's okay, really. I'm confused myself, if I'm being honest."

A big breath was set free by me. Why was it so comforting to know I'm not the only one who's confused?

"Then let's just let it be the way it is until you are ready."

"Alright, we'll just let it be." I repeated. It was obvious that there was more than just a normal friendship, there's no denying that.

"I really want to talk to Elliot."

Thomas scratched his neck. "I mean I could go and search him."

But if he finds him, I have to actually talk with him and apologize and what if he doesn't even want to talk to me and what if he is still angry and what if he doesn't forgive me and then I would be alone and I don't want to be alone-

"Hey, Hope." He interrupts my thoughts. "What if I don't go look for him now? Give him some space and you some time to sort your thoughts."

I nodded but that nod switched to shaking my head because my head did think.

"For how long have I been here again?" I asked. "Five days in total, why? Please don't have amnesia." "No, no don't worry." I shifted, which was a bad idea that ended with me whining at the pain in my leg.

"You-" "I'm fine" Just letting it be, I continue. "We don't have any break at the moment and Elliot told me you didn't leave the room once, so what's with school?" "Well-" But again, he couldn't finish his sentence.

"Do you now how Becca's doing? She was sick for a long period of time now." "I haven't hear from Becca, sorry 'bout that. And for school, we can catch up together."

"What about your parents? Aren't they worried you haven't been home?" I questioned further.

When Thomas shifts in his seat I knew I've gone to far. "Sorry, don't answer that." "It's fine. Don't apologize. And I send them a text."

The door opens and doctor Bennet entered. "Alright, miss Clarkson." "Hope." "Hope, alright. For the following conversation you may want to talk privately again." He says as he eyed Thomas.

With a last squeeze on my hand he left the room.

"We needed to give you some painkillers for the leg but under the circumstances with benzodiazepines in your blood, we had and will have to continue to give you a low dose."

Now that would explain the nearly unbearable pain.

"If you keep the leg rested, the healing process won't be affected and in three to seven days you could go home again. If nothing happens, of course."

I try to process what he just said, though my mind still felt drowsy. So I nodded, hoping he would go away to leave me alone.

"Alright, I just talked with they parents to give them all the information as well." He smiled but everything I had near a smile fell.

"They know about my blood test results?" I peeped.

"Not directly. They only have important information and when you can return home."

A flood of relief overwhelmed me.

"Alright, I'll let you rest."

When he left I was alone. And lonely.

When my parents came in and we had a chat, I was there but I was not.

I felt lonely.

When Elliot came back and we apologized and had a nice talk again I was there but I was not.

I felt lonely.

When Thomas joined we all talked together, I was there but I was not.

I felt lonely.

When Elliot fell asleep on the chair he was sitting on and Thomas just rambled about stuff and I was gladly listening, I was there but I was not.

I felt lonely.

When he fell asleep sitting on his chair, head rested on the hospital bed I started to not only feel lonely.

I kinda was alone but not.

I feel lonely.

The tears wet my face. The tears dried.

My eyelids got heavy. My eyelids closed.

Even in my sleep I felt lonely. And in my dreams, I was completely alone.

//°°\\

"Mom's right, I need some fresh clothes. Do I smell really bad?" I ask my brother.

"You're fine, don't worry." Nervous, he fidgets with his fingers. "Well, nobody really brought it over to go into your room."

Just then Thomas entered again, holding snacks from a vending machine in his arms.

It was still in the morning and my parents are apparently still sleeping. I don't blame them.

"You need something from your room?" Thomas put all the sweets and snacks down on the night beside my bed.

"No it's fine I was just-"

"What do you need? I know that nobody enters your room and I already saw it so why not be the one to get some fresh supplements."

"So, what do you need?"

When I didn't reply, my lovely brother decided to speak for me.

"She needs some fresh clothes. But are you sure you want to go in there?"

He sighs. "Somebody has to be the first one. No big deal. I'll get Hope the clothes."

A faint smile towards him until he left and I was scolding at Elliot. "You shouldn't have sent him there!"

"Why not? You two are pretty close either way." The way I can physically see him trying to hide that smirk makes me scoff. "Not even I know what that is. Besides, now he's going through my closet." I pull a face.

I hope he won't find my underwear. And he better get some nice clothes. What am I saying? I should be grateful he even gets me anything. It's more than I could ask of him.

Me and Elliot kept talking and he must've sorted his mind about that me and Thomas thing. In the end, it wasn't that bad.

"Did Ana visit?" I asked, picking up my questions from earlier. Becca didn't, tho maybe she's still sick, but Doctor Bennet cut me off.

"Ana?" Elliot furrowed his eyebrows. "She's my friend." I quickly explained. "No, nobody came beside us. And we never left. Though Mom and Dad are thinking of going to work again."

I nod. "They should. I'm fine, really. And I have you." And Thomas. "And Thomas." He took the words out of my mouth.

"Yep."

"Wait, I'll send Thomas a message, maybe he heard of that Ana."

After that, our talks faded into nonsense again.

It took Thomas a while until he returned again.

When he did, he was acting different.

Distant.

As if he found something in my room.

Something he wasn't supposed to find.

It drives me insane and he doesn't talk about it.

Gives me a hint.

It makes me uneasy.

//°°\\

A/n:

Finally it's done!

I'm back from vacation and I'm currently at a concert but we are still waiting for it to start so I finished writing this chapter.

(Update: Internet wasn't working so it's after the concert now, it was awesome!)

Honestly, I'm too lazy to look over it rn so apologies for typos or grammar mistakes.

Have a great day or rest of it!

WrittenBy09