08 | NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE

     "WHAT the fuck have I gotten myself into? I don't have anything that would match what he's wearing and I've never even gone to a high school dance before, I think I'm way over my head and maybe I should just cancel and tell him that I can't go-" Athena panicked as she paced back and forth in Cassandra's room with two different dresses in each hand while Cassandra looked as if she was about to laugh, though she rolled her eyes dramatically instead and shook her head with a smile on her face. Athena was anything but prepared for the dance she was planning to not attend, hence her frantic movements as she muttered about what shoes she would wear and how much makeup she would use. Athena stopped pacing and sighed hopelessly as she laid down on Cassandra's bed, "this is fucking ridiculous, I'm fucking ridiculous."

     "Athena," Cassandra smiled as she took the few dresses on the bed and put them in a neat pile on a nearby chair before sitting down next to Athena, who covered her face with her hands with a sigh escaping her lips. "You're not fucking ridiculous. If anything, you're being fucking dramatic." Cassandra chuckled as she took a seat on the other side of Athena, who removed her hands from her face to glare at her friend.

     "I'm serious, given everything that's happened so far, me stressing out about some stupid dance seems-"

     "Fucking ridiculous?" Cassandra mocked as she raised a brow jokingly at Athena, who rolled her eyes and playfully threw one of the throw pillows on the bed at her friend. "That's why," Cassandra nudged Athena in the side with a small smile on her face, "we're having this dance, to show everyone how it's okay to stress over the ridiculous shit we wouldn't even think twice about now."

     "Alright then, let's fucking get this shit show over with so I can be back in my comfy everyday clothes in no time." Athena groaned as she and Cassandra got up from the bed and began to put together their prom outfits. The night came by quicker than before, and soon enough, Athena stood in front of the body length mirror in the guest bedroom and stared at herself in the burnt orange dress with some brown high heeled wedges on her feet. She tucked a few strands of hair behind her right ear as she scanned her figure up and down, sighing as she furrowed her eyebrows in thought. Though, Athena shook her head and went to reapply some more chapstick before heading downstairs upon getting Grizz's text message that he was at the front of the house. Athena made sure to inform her friends at the Pressman's that she would be arriving later since Grizz was going to pick up a few of his friends before heading over to the dance. She shivered as soon as she was out in the chilly air and quickly hopped in the front seat of Grizz's vehicle and met his gaze with a smile.

     "You, uh, look beautiful, um, not that you don't look beautiful every day but-" Grizz stumbled over his words as she gripped onto the steering wheel with a nervous smile on his lips.

     "Thank you," Athena laughed at his nervousness, which helped to ease his senses. "You don't look too bad yourself grizzly bear. Nice sweats, wish you could've made me a pair so I wouldn't have to wear this dress," Grizz laughed as he mockingly bowed in thanks.

     "So, you ready for the night of your life, wise-girl?" Grizz smirked as Athena groaned at the nickname, knowing Allie must have said a thing or two at the party a few nights ago, before shaking her head with a smile on her face.

     "No, not really."

     "Well, that's too bad because I know you're gonna love it anyway," Grizz chuckled as he drove off to pick up a few of his friends before arriving at the building where various teenagers were already starting to enter the building with broad and excited smiles on their faces.

     Grizz immediately dragged Athena to the photo booth, before pulling her onto the dance floor where they danced wildly amongst their peers before Grizz handed Athena his jacket before joining Clark, Luke, and Jason in some weird dance formation they had come up with, causing Athena to chuckle with happy tears in her eyes. Athena then caught sight of Sam and Becca before motioning to Grizz that she would be right back as she made her way off the dance floor and went over to hug the duo.

     "I can't believe you got her to fucking come; I'm so proud of you." Athena laughed as she signed to Sam before giving him a high five in a congratulatory manner whereas Becca rolled her eyes with a smile on her face as she playfully nudged Athena's side.

     "Yeah but, look at you. I can't believe you're actually here, and in a dress." Sam signed as he shockingly motioned at Athena, causing Athena and Becca to laugh at his remark.

     "Okay, let's go." Becca motioned towards one of the tables for them to hang out at so that they may discreetly make fun of individuals entertaining dance moves and how many drunk people they could keep count of as the night went on. Though, as Athena went to get up and get drinks for herself, Becca, and Sam, Grizz engulfed her in a giant bear hug which made Athena stumble back in surprise as she held onto his shoulders to keep herself from falling over.

     "Woah, this is exactly why I don't drink alcohol, you buffoon." Athena chuckled as she sat Grizz down in a chair next to the bar and poured him some water and handed the glass to him, which he lightly pushed out of the way before grabbing Athena's face in both hands and pulled her close to him. "Oh, um, Grizz," Athena chuckled nervously as she set the glass of water down on the table and bent down to his eye level so that she wasn't leaning down uncomfortably, though Grizz hushed her as he leaned his forehead on hers.

     "I love you, so much Athena Parker and ever since you told me about your, uh, personal struggles the night of Emily's death, I wanted to tell you something too because it hurts me too much to keep it inside and I just have to tell someone and, uh, I think it should be you." Grizz ranted as he slurred his words, though Athena scrunched her nose in a confused manner as she gripped onto Grizz's knees so she wouldn't fall over.

     "Um, okay. What's on your mind grizzly bear? Are you feeling okay?" Athena questioned as she tried to look her friend in the eyes, though couldn't tell by the drunken expression he had on as he shook his head which made her head shake as well since he was still holding her face in his hands.

     "I'm feeling a lot of things right now, and I love how you call me grizzly bear. You're so cute Athena, and I wish I had a clever nickname for you because you're, uh, clever." Grizz stumbled over his words as Athena attempted to hold in her laughter at his drunken honesty.

     "Well, I'm glad that you find my nickname for you to be clever, I guess." Athena chuckled as she slowly and carefully pulled his hands off of her face and pulled away from his grasp as she stood up. "Now, why don't you drink this water so you can, uh, feel better. Okay?" Athena noticed Becca and Sam were now standing up and seemed to be arguing as they went into the hall, making a slight frown appear on Athena's face. Though, before she could head over and talk to the two of them, Grizz reached out and held her hands in his own and looked up at her as he tilted his head and scrunched his nose in confusion.

     "Where are you going? Why do you look so sad? Is it because I didn't tell you my secret yet?" Grizz mumbled as he swirled the water around in the glass with a befuddled expression on his face. Athena smiled softly as she bent down and took his face in her right hand this time, causing her to murmur happily as she witnessed one of the cutest expressions she's ever seen on Grizz and quickly took a picture of him with her phone before quickly putting it away.

     "I'll be right back, okay? I'm not sad, I just, uh, need to check on a few people real quick and then you can tell me about your little secret when I come back, okay?" Athena rushed out as she glanced around for Becca and Sam and didn't see them anywhere.

     "It's actually a big secret about who I am." Grizz whisper shouted with a lopsided grin on his lips, making Athena chuckle softly.

     "I'm sure it's one hell of a secret grizzly bear," Athena hummed in agreement, patted Grizz on the shoulder, and had him drink a glass of water before walking off in search of Sam. Though after a few minutes of searching for him and getting distracted as she danced and took photos with her friends, she noticed him sitting alone at an empty table and made her way over to where he was and sat down on his right with a sigh escaping her lips.

     "My feet fucking hurt from walking around this whole joint looking for you. Where's Becca? I thought I saw her on the dance floor a while ago?" Athena groaned as she removed her heels, causing Sam to chuckle while he shook his head and pulled her feet onto his lap, making Athena to sigh in content as she got comfy on the chair. Though, upon noticing Sam's saddened expression, she nudged him in the side with her feet, "what's wrong? Why aren't you with Becca?"

     "Becca had to go," Sam sighed as he shook his head, "she wasn't feeling well."

     "Bullshit, I know you're lying to me," Athena rolled her eyes and put a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder before pulling back with a sigh. "Are you two okay? I lost sight of you both when I left to go get us some drinks."

     "Which you never came back with," Sam joked as Athena laughed and rolled her eyes. "Seriously though, I think Becca will be okay, she just needs some space right now," Athena furrowed her eyebrows questioningly as she took a few sips of Sam's drink. Though before she could ask why Becca needed space, Grizz approached the two in a nervous manner.

     "Oh, uh, I'll go if I'm interrupting," Grizz spoke as he nervously tucked a few strands of his hair behind his ear. Athena almost spat the liquid out as she looked back and forth between Sam, who was slightly blushing as he looked at Grizz, and Grizz, who was nervously playing with his hands.

     "Oh, shit, I think Cassandra called me over to go help with some shit with, um, Bean. I, uh, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later, okay?" Athena couldn't sign as fast as she talked while putting her heels back on, though she was able to pull herself together as she signed to Sam about seeing him later and continuing their conversation. Sam nodded in agreement before watching the brunette stagger to where the stage was and went to sift through Helena's boxes of Jay Z records while subtly glancing over to where Grizz and Sam were sitting now and then with a smile on her face.

     Athena pretty much spent most of her time doing random things since Grizz was busy talking to Sam and everyone else she cared to be with were slow dancing, except for Allie and Will who were both doing their fast dance to a slow song thing, on the dance floor. Though as Athena sipped her glass of Coke, she noticed Kelly make her way towards the stage, making Athena stand to help her up since she saw how drunk she was. Kelly made her way to Bean, who handed her the microphone after Kelly asked if she could quickly say something before reverting her attention to the crowd.

     "Hi. Can everyone hear me?" The microphone gave a high pitched noise, causing everyone to wince before Kelly continued to talk. She thanked everyone for coming, to which someone shouted about how they all loved her to which everyone applauded too, and kept talking about how long and hard the week has been and how everyone should be proud of what they have accomplished. Kelly then thanked Cassandra and Athena for their hard work and what they have helped everyone pull off, causing everyone to cheer and applaud the two girls as well. Athena caught Cassandra's eye in the crowd as she smiled encouragingly in her direction, though Athena then noticed how she looked back towards Allie who didn't clap or smile in agreement as she stared at her sister which made Cassandra's smile drop. Kelly went on to thank the prom committee which consisted of Gwen, Grizz, and once again Athena for helping to organize the prom for everyone, making Athena laugh as she saw Grizz stand up and cheer. Kelly smiled as she mentioned Bobby Aronson and his ruined bar mitzvah, causing everyone to laugh loudly as they all cheered. Though, the speech spiraled downward from there as Kelly began talking about how prom was where everyone would say their goodbyes to one another but instead they were saying goodbye to their old lives.

     Athena listened as Kelly's voice became quieter and soon she cleared her throat as she motioned for Gwen to come up and take her off stage before she broke down in front of everyone. Gwen noticed what Athena was trying to get her to do and nodded as she went up and took the microphone from Kelly as Athena motioned for Bean to start playing some music as Gwen told everyone about how they were going to keep playing music and how no one needed to leave yet. Athena rubbed Kelly's back comfortingly as she and Gwen helped her off the stage and set her onto a nearby chair.

     "Hey, I can help clean up if you need an extra pair of hands?" Athena offered as she followed Gwen to the bar.

     "Yes, thank you, Athena, I would appreciate your help." Gwen smiled as she held Athena's arm before continuing to walk off towards the bar. Athena then spotted Grizz and waved him over, watching as he maneuvered his way through the tables and met her by the Bobby Aronson poster board.

     "Hey, you ready to go home now? I think a few people are starting to leave and I can drive you back to the Pressman's if you still want me to?" Grizz smiled, knowing Athena had made the connection between him and Sam earlier since she had decided to leave so abruptly instead of asking questions, which he appreciated. "I, um, also wanted to thank you for letting me talk to Sam, or sign to him at least." Athena chuckled as she crossed her arms and shook her head knowingly.

     "Yeah, cause bullshit is exactly how you should make your first impressions known. I'll make sure to take notes next time." Athena winked jokingly as she signed bullshit while Grizz tilted his head back as he laughed in embarrassment, "and I had already told Gwen that I would stay and help her clean up, so you don't have to worry about giving me a ride back to the Pressman's."

     "You sure? I can stay, maybe even help you guys clean up, and wait for you?" Grizz asked as he tucked a few loose strands of hair behind his ear.

     "No, no, it's okay. You should probably take your friends home before you all pass out here instead." Athena chuckled as she glanced over to the table where Clark and Jason were making paper airplanes with the name tags and throwing them at one another. Grizz laughed as he nodded his head and held Athena's arm before going over to where his friends were.

     After everyone except for Athena and Cassandra had already left for the night, Athena checked her phone for the time, once she had finished sweeping the majority of the gunk off of the dance floor, and noticed how it was already past midnight. "Hey, I think we're about done here. You can go ahead and head back to the house, I just need to take the last few trash bags outside."

     "I can help you with that-"

     "No, it's okay, I was actually hoping for you to go home and check on Allie for me please?" Cassandra asked as she finished up tying the trash bags before looking over to Athena who had just put the broomstick away.

     "Are you sure? I don't want to leave you here by yourself."

     "Yes, go on, I'll be okay." Cassandra reassuringly held onto Athena's arms, making the Parker girl smile as she pulled Cassandra into a hug.

     "Alright, I'll see you back home, okay?" Athena pulled away and began to walk towards the door as Cassandra nodded in agreement and ushered the brunette outside as she continued to finish cleaning up. As Athena started to walk outside, she smiled as a black and white dog approached her, "hey, what are you doing here, buddy?" Athena laughed as she watched the dog quickly move on in the direction she had come from before continuing down the road.

     Though, it had only been a few minutes until a loud gunshot sounded through the night, shortly followed by another. Athena stopped walking abruptly and turned back to where the noise had come from before her blood ran cold as she feared for the worse. She took off in a sprint, and once she reached the front of the building where the prom had been held, she quickly covered her mouth as she saw her friend laying on her stomach with a red liquid spreading out from underneath her. She looked around to see if anyone was still around, possibly even the individual who had shot her friend, before hurriedly going to Cassandra.

     "No, no, no Cassandra. Please, no, get up, please." Athena stuttered as she quickly approached her friend and, with shaky hands, flipped her over and gasped as she saw the two wounds in her abdomen and all the blood pouring out of them. "Oh, fuck, no. Hey, Cassandra, please Cass. You, uh, you have to stay with me, okay? Please, you can't fucking die, I'm, uh, I'm not ready to say goodbye yet." Athena sniffled as she cried out to her friend as she pulled her body onto her lap with her right hand and with her left she tried to apply as much pressure as she could to stop the bleeding, which was no use at this point. Cassandra was dead. Athena cried out for help, while at the same time knowing that no one was around to hear her desperate pleas, as she reached out and closed Cassandra's eyes with her left hand. "I don't know what to do here without you, and we all still need you, Allie still needs you." Athena choked as she sobbed and leaned her forehead down as she hugged her friend's body, "I still need you."

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n o t e
oof, i'm STILL not over cassandra's death and now that i've rewatched the scene so many times i've begun to develop some conspiracies . . .

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