! BAD GIRLS ! BAD GIRLS !

( a sex and the city fic )

CAFE CAFE
new york, new york
12:30pm

i sat primly, hands resting in my lap, a pair of black satin gloves covering them.

samantha raised a perfectly arched brow. "okay, did i miss the memo? are we dressing for high tea at the palace now?"

carrie squinted at me. "what is this, the 1800s? are you hiding a case of tuberculosis?"

i grinned, savoring the anticipation. "no reason," i said innocently, stretching my fingers before slowly, very slowly, pulling off one glove.

the second the massive diamond was revealed, all hell broke loose.

charlotte gasped so hard i thought she might inhale her own tongue. "jamie!" she grabbed my hand like i might float away with the weight of the thing. "oh my god, it's... it's enormous!"

"jesus christ," miranda muttered, leaning in. "how many carats is that? did duncan sell a kidney?"

i laughed, twisting my hand so the diamond caught the light. "not a kidney, just months of planning. he proposed at school. my students were in on it, holding up signs in the window."

charlotte's eyes welled up. "that is the most romantic thing i have ever heard."

samantha smirked, sipping her drink. "well, thank god he knows how to make a statement. if he'd pulled a 'quiet, intimate moment' thing, i'd have had to confiscate your ring on principle."

carrie stirred her tea, a soft smile tugging at her lips. "you look happy."

i met her gaze, something warm settling between us. "i am happy," i admitted. "like, really, stupidly, beyond reason happy."

charlotte sighed dreamily. "do you have a date set?"

"not yet," i said, still admiring my ring. "i want the kids to be part of it. mia as a flower girl, jude handing off the ring... i want it to feel complete."

carrie traced the rim of her cup. "complete," she murmured.

miranda leaned back, smirking. "refreshing to see someone actually planning before they get married. almost like a responsible adult."

carrie shot her a look. "are you calling me irresponsible?"

miranda lifted a shoulder. "no!" she denied.

charlotte cleared her throat, ever the peacemaker. "i think what she means is, it's nice to see someone so... sure."

i smiled, no hesitation in my voice. "i really am."

carrie exhaled, resting her chin on her palm. "must be nice."

the table fell into a quiet lull.

charlotte glanced at her. "have you talked to big?"

carrie shook her head. "no."

miranda frowned. "not even a little relapse? a late night 'i miss you' text?"

carrie scoffed. "what do you take me for?"

samantha smirked. "a woman going cold turkey on her longest, most toxic addiction. i'd be shocked if you weren't having withdrawals."

carrie hesitated, staring into her tea like it held answers. "i don't miss him. i miss... something." she tapped her fingers against the table. "i think i just miss the idea of him. of us."

charlotte reached for her hand. "that makes sense."

"does it?" carried sighed. "because i feel like i should be relieved. free. and yet..." she shook her head, unable to finish the thought.

"siding something that defined you for so long? that's huge," i said gently. "it's okay to feel a little lost."

carrie glanced at me, a small smile forming. "when did you get so wise?"

i grinned. "somewhere between childbirth and grading homework."

miranda lifted her glass. "to figuring it out."

samantha clinked hers against it. "to being happy."

charlotte smiled smiled and spoke, "to love."

carrie exhaled, lifting her tea. "to us."