! BAD GIRLS ! BAD GIRLS !

( a sex and the city fic )

JAMIE'S OG BROWNSTONE
new york, new york
5pm

in the comfort of my home that was around before i moved in with holden, i'd never given it up. i caressed winnie's fur while we both laid in my bed.

"can i get you anything?" my niece, jemma asked me as she walked into my room.

i shook my head, "i'm not chained down to this bed. i've gotten up to eat."

jemma smiled softly at me, her young face full of concern. "i know, but still." she replied as she sat at the end of my bed, "do you want company?"

i nodded, "yeah." i replied as she scooted up against the headboard and laid close to me, playing with winnie's fur.

she was quiet for a moment, a thoughtful look on her face before she spoke softly, "how are you feeling?"

i took a deep breath, "honestly? i'm feeling pretty crappy." i admitted, "i can't believe he did that to me."

"it's been a week, you should get out." jemma advised.

"why should i? i'm on maternity leave, my friends bring me food constantly and not to mention the only place i'd go is to my other home...where holden is still packing things up." i said.

"just because you're on leave doesn't mean you have to hide in here and wallow in your misery." she pointed out softly as she continued petting winnie.

i gave her a pointed look, "i'm not wallowing."

"you kinda are." she replied bluntly. jemma's phone rang, cutting off our conversation. she picked it up, "hello?"

i tried to eavesdrop on the conversation, but i couldn't make out what was being said on the other end.

after a few moments, jemma hung up the phone and turned to me. "i have to go out for a bit." she told me.

"modeling duty calls?" i asked.

she nodded, "yeah. they want me to take some more photos for the new shoot." she explained, moving the pillows around to rest her head. "there must be another wave of people looking for a swim calendar."

"you're amazing, jemma. seriously." i said.

she rolled her eyes playfully, "don't start with the buttering up." she said before getting up, "i'll be back later, okay?"

i nodded, "okay, sweetie."

she leaned down and kissed my forehead before leaving me alone with winnie who hopped off of the bed.

"just me..." i muttered as i turned on the tv.

i sat in silence, mindlessly flipping through channels on the tv when winnie caught my attention. she came bouncing in with a old vhs tape in her mouth.

i raised an eyebrow in curiosity as she dropped it on the bed before jumping up next to me, a proud look on her face. i picked up the tape, inspecting it closer.

something about it seemed familiar, but i couldn't figure out what. "what's this?" i asked the puppy.

winnie tilted her head at me, clearly not understanding the question.

i studied the tape again, noticing an old hamptons logo written on the front. it was something duncan had given me years ago.

a sudden pang of nostalgia hit me as i realized what the tape was. i had a feeling of wanting to watch it but a feeling of dread hit me.

i didn't know if i could handle it, but the curiosity was killing me. i put the tape in the vcr and pressed play, the fuzzy image of me and duncan at the bottom of a hiking trail came onto the screen.

we were both around full of love and life as we walked his dog, rufus, through the trail.

duncan directed the camera down at rufus, who jumped into a stream we passed by.

the golden retriever happily played in the water, his tail wagging as he shook the excess water off his coat, sending droplets everywhere.

i giggled, "he's going to dip his entire body in there and get soaked." duncan said, clearly amused as he watched rufus playing in the water.

"that is very true..." i added in the video.

i paused the video as my heart ached with the reality of missing duncan. i realized how much i still wanted to be with him, to feel his presence and his love again.

"i really miss him, winnie.." i said softly to the puppy next to me.

i stood next to my phone, contemplating calling him. i didn't know if i should, but i found myself needing to hear his voice.

i picked up my phone and dialed his number, holding my breath as i waited for him to answer, "come on...pick up. pick up..." i muttered.

i sat up straight as i heard his familiar southern accent as he answered the phone, "helloooo, who is this?"

hearing his voice after so long made my heart flutter as i couldn't help but to smile, "duncan, hi. it's...it's jamie." i said softly.

there was a brief pause before duncan spoke, his tone slightly surprised, "jamie? hey." he replied, my name slipping off of his tongue with a hint of familiarity.

i didn't know where to begin, i just wanted to keep hearing his voice. "i came across this video of us in the hamptons with rufus. and winnie was next to me...and anyway, i think we should schedule a play date. for winnie and rufus." i lied smoothly as i needed an excuse as to why i called. "you know, a good old fashioned dad and daughter hangout."

i could hear duncan chuckle on the other end of the line, "you called me to ask about setting up a play date for our dogs?" he questioned, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"like i said, dad and daughter hangout." i said.

he chuckled again, the sound of it bringing back memories between us. "right. dogs." he replied, knowing my true motives, but going along with it.

my heart fluttered as i waited for him to say something else, desperate to keep hearing his voice.

"how about right now? i was just about to take rufus on a walk...we can stop by your place." he suggested. "it's the same place right? or did you move in with that guy? i think holden was his name."

my heart sank at the mention of holden, reminded of my current circumstances. i nodded before remembering that he couldn't see me, "yeah, yeah it's still the same place, you can swing by if you want." i said, trying to mask my true feelings.

"wonderful." he replied, "i'll be there in a bit."

"great, see you soon." i said as i hung up.

i took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to calm my racing heart. i quickly got myself into clothes that didn't expose the fact that i'd been lounging in bed for the entire day.

i heard a knock on my door, knowing duncan was on the other end, i couldn't help the butterflies creeping into my stomach.

i took a deep breath before opening the door, seeing him standing there with rufus on a leash, his face lighting up when he saw me.

"hey." he said with a smile, his warm eyes meeting mine.

i smiled back, my heart fluttering again as i gestured them to come in, "hi."

rufus bounded in through the doorway and winnie came padding through too, her tail wagging as she sniffed rufus' face.

duncan chuckled as he noticed the two dogs interacting, "look at those two. they love each other."

i couldn't help but to smile too, "yeah, it's like they haven't seen each other in a long time." i said.

duncan nodded, "yeah, and yet they didn't miss a beat." he replied as they both watched the two dogs sniff each other before they started playing.

"how are you? how's mia?" i asked as i led him to the kitchen where i pulled out a beer for him.

he took the beer and thanked me, following me to the living room where he sat down.

i couldn't help but to notice how good he looked in this moment. he was just as handsome as i remembered, his charm and warmth even more evident in person. i sat next to him, avoiding eye contact.

he took a sip of the beer before speaking, "mia's good. she's growing up and i just couldn't be more excited about it. i'm a dad you know?"

"and engaged!" i said as i nudged him.

duncan shook his head, "actually no, i'm not anymore. we realized we weren't as committed to each other as we initially thought." he explained, taking another gulp of beer.

i raised an eyebrow, surprised at this news. "really? what happened?" i asked, hoping that i didn't seem too happy to hear it.

duncan leaned back against the couch, "we had our differences, you know? as a couple." he said, "we just couldn't see eye to eye on some things and it became very clear that we weren't meant to spend the rest of our lives together. but enough about me, how are things with holden? i mean you're expecting..."

my heart sank again as he mentioned holden, a mix of anger and sadness washed over me.

"about that..." i started, but trailed off, hesitant to unload everything to duncan.

he noticed my hesitation and gently placed his hand on mine, "hey, you can tell me anything." he said gently.

i looked down at his hand on mine, feeling the comforting familiar warmth it brought. i took a deep breath before i began. "holden and i, well...we're not together anymore." i replied softly.

duncan's eyes widened, a look of concern on his face. "you guys broke up? what happened?" he asked, his grip on my hand tightening slightly.

i sighed, my heart heavy with the memory of everything that happened. "long story short, he cheated on me." i said bluntly, not wanting to dwell on the details.

duncan's eyes darkened as he frowned, "he cheated on you? how could he?" he said, anger and disbelief in his voice.

i shook my head, "i don't know. i really don't know." i replied, a hint of sadness creeping into my voice. "and i'm pregnant, you know..."

duncan's expression softened, his face flooded with empathy. "oh jamie...i'm so sorry..." he said gently, moving his hand to my back to rub it softly.

i felt comforted by his touch, i couldn't help but lean in. "it's fine, i've just been coming to terms with it all." i said, shutting down the conversation.

"so you said you found some video of us in the hamptons with rufus?" duncan redirected the conversation.

i nodded, grateful for the change of subject. "yeah, winnie must've found it and she brought it to me." i said as i patted winnie who was resting next to rufus.

duncan chuckled, "those dogs are so smart. they definitely know more than we give them credit for."

i grabbed the vhs tape and set it up, pressing play as we settled in to watch it. as the video started playing, we both laughed at the sight of rufus frolicking through the water.

duncan chuckled again as he watched his dog playing in the stream, "i swear that dog loves water more than any other living creature on earth." he said.

i smiled, remembering how much of a water baby rufus was. "i don't think he'll ever know peace until he's fully submerged in it." i joked as we both laughed.

the video played on, showing us hiking through the trail and talking softly to each other. as we watched, the atmosphere between us grew even more comfortable.

as we watched the tape play on, a sense of closeness grew between us. our bodies gravitated towards each other, our shoulders and arms brushing gently. as the moment continued, i felt the pull to lean closer to him, and it appeared that he felt the same way.

just as we were millimeters apart, we were interrupted by a knock on the door.

we both snapped out of the moment, realizing what was about to happen. i broke eye contact with him, feeling a mix of disappointment and relief.

duncan cleared his throat as he stood up, clearly feeling the same way. "i'll go check who it is." he said, trying to hide the fact that we were just about to kiss.

"i got it! it's my house after all." i said as i got up, both winnie and rufus barked at the sound of the persistent knocking.

i walked towards the door and opened it, my heart sinking as i saw who was on the other side.

carrie stood in front of me, a red dress paired with a french beret hat. "bonjour! voila a la french fries!" she said as she held up two mcdonald's bags.

"oh my god, carrie! you're back!" i said, unable to contain my surprise. i hugged her, still trying to process the fact that she was back from paris.

she hugged me back, her familiar perfume filling the air. "surprise, surprise!" she said with a grin as she pulled back, holding up the mcdonald's bags. "i thought you could use some good old fashion comfort food, you know the golden arches never fail me!"

"carrie, you remember duncan." i said to her as she walked further into my home.

her eyes widened as she saw duncan standing in the living room, rufus at his side. "oh my god, of course i remember him! hi, how are you?"

duncan smiled, "hey carrie. good to see you."

i couldn't help but feel a bit awkward, knowing how close we were to kissing just moments ago. not to mention, i hadn't told carrie about anything that happened between holden.

"so where's holden?" carrie asked as she looked up at my stairs.

i hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to answer her question but duncan beat me to it, "he's not here." duncan spoke up, his tone neutral.

carrie looked between us, clearly sensing the tension. "oh, why is that?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

i sighed, knowing that i couldn't avoid the subject any longer. "we broke up." i said simply.

carrie's eyes widened, "you broke up with holden? why?" she then whispered, "he's your baby's father..."she said, clearly shocked by the news.

"it's a long story. holden and i...he cheated." i said, trying to downplay the situation.

carrie let out a gasp, her face full of shock and disbelief. "are you serious? holden cheated on you? with who?!" she asked, clearly wanting every bit of information on the situation.

i shook my head, "it doesn't matter. the point is we're not together anymore." i said, trying to shut down the conversation.

carrie wasn't going to let it go, "of course it matters! you need to spill all the details and spare no one."

i closed my eyes, trying to contain my annoyance. "carrie, i don't want to talk about this right now." i said, hoping she would respect my wishes.

duncan saw how uncomfortable i was getting and came to my defense. "hey, maybe we can talk about something else." he interjected. "how was paris?" he asked carrie.

she shook her head, "beautiful yet terrible." she said vaguely. "i am so happy to be back home as a single woman."

i looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "single? didn't you go to paris with aleksandr? in a relationship."

she let out a dramatic sigh, "yeah, but i had to end things with him. he was never around and made me feel like i was too...needy." she said, waving her hand dismissively. "but i'm back now and paris is not for me."

"well we missed you." i told her as i took a bite of a fry.

duncan then grabbed rufus' leash. "we should get going." he said.

i nodded, feeling both relieved and disappointed that he was leaving. "yeah, it's getting late." i replied. "let me walk you outside."

carrie raised an eyebrow, clearly sensing that something was up between duncan and me. but she didn't say anything, simply giving me a curious look.

duncan and i walked towards the door, rufus following behind us. as we went outside, the cool night air hit us.

"this was nice. catching up and the whole play date thing." i told him.

he nodded, "yeah, definitely. the dogs loved it too." he said, as he looked down at rufus who barked happily.

there was an awkward silence between us, knowing that just moments ago we were about to kiss.

duncan cleared his throat, "listen, jamie..." he started, his voice low.

i looked up at him, my heart beating faster as i waited for what he was about to say.

he took a deep breath before speaking, "i don't want this to be weird...i know you just got out of a relationship." he said, his hand scratching the back of his neck nervously. "but it's taking everything in me to not kiss you goodnight."

my heart skipped a beat at his words. "i feel the same way." i whispered, my body moving closer to him of its own accord.

duncan's smirked as he stepped closer to me, his hand coming up to my waist. "you have no idea how much i've thought about kissing you since i saw you again." he said, his voice low and gravelly.

"by all means, go right ahead." i said giving him the green light.

that's all the confirmation he needed, as he pulled me against him and kissed me hard. his lips were just as i remembered them, warm and soft. i melted into the kiss, my arms wrapping around his neck.

housekeeping notes !

duncan girlies: this one's for you. (me) carrie's back! who's excited?