! BAD GIRLS ! BAD GIRLS !

( a sex and the city fic )

RAW RESTAURANT
new york, new york
8pm

while waiting on the line to be seated at a restaurant that samantha convinced us to go, where the scene was hot and the food was not.

"you'd think a place that eliminated cooking could eliminate waiting." carrie complained.

"what do you mean, they don't cook the food here?" miranda questioned.

"hence the name, raw." i told miranda.

samantha nodded, "exactly! that's why they call it raw. the raw food movement? people love it. sting, demi, soon-yo, soon me." she said.

"now, what is raw food exactly?" charlotte asked as she crossed her arms.

"vegan non-dairy, and nothing that is cooked over one hundred eighteen degrees." samantha replied.

"so in other words: raw vegetables." miranda said dryly.

"what? does brady's baby food suddenly sound more interesting?" i joked to miranda.

she shrugged, "honestly? yes."

"not only raw vegetables. sometimes flowers." carrie said with a wink.

"you knew about this?" miranda asked.

carrie nodded. "i read a review about it in the times."

"where? in the gardening section?" miranda retorted.

"well, i heard it's delicious!" charlotte and i said simultaneously.

miranda spoke sarcastically, "well if they heard that it's ridiculous, it must be."

carrie then yawned loudly, "sorry. i didn't get enough sleep last night." she apologized.

"really? did you finally bugger berger?" samantha asked, referring to this writer that carrie has been seeing who's been giving her all mixed signals.

"how long have you been waiting to say that?" carrie asked.

samantha shook her head, "just occurred to me."

"yes, we finally buggered." she answered with a sigh.

finally seated, carrie gave us all the details on berger. "we're good everywhere else! in restaurants it's like poppity pop-pop. and the kisses are great and then in bed..." she paused. "there was no sexual chemistry."

"couldn't find your clit?" samantha guessed.

"he knows what he's doing." carrie assured us.

just then, i saw a man whom i recognized standing up. he looked over and our eyes locked, a smile came across his face as he walked over. "if it isn't jamie boyd..." he said.

"and the famous date doctor." i said, allowing him to place a kiss on my cheek. we'd seen each other on a more friendly level a few times. "ladies, meet calvin gannon. calvin...carrie, charlotte, samanatha, and miranda." i introduced.

calvin placed a hand on my shoulder as he looked around the table. he could sense the surprise amongst my friends, as i'd talked highly of my new friend.

"i've heard beautiful things about all of you beautiful ladies, it's a privilege to finally meet you all in person." he said with a charming, charismatic smile.

carrie immediately locked her eyes on calvin, his charming, charismatic nature made him quite attractive in her eyes. "nice to meet you, calvin."

"so you're a date doctor? are you some sort of...sex doctor?" samantha asked.

miranda's eyes widened at samantha's bluntness, and charlotte couldn't help but let out a small gasp.

calvin simply chuckled as he sat at the edge of the table, looking between the five of us. "actually, none of the above. i'm a special agent at the bau...jamie calls me a date doctor."

"it's an ongoing joke we have because he knows everything about relationships. down to the knitty griddy." i told the girls.

"well maybe you can help carrie. she's having relationship problems!" charlotte suggested.

carrie groaned in protest as soon as charlotte began speaking, and calvin couldn't help but crack a smirk as he turned his gaze to carrie.

"relationship problems? those are my specialty."

"oh really?! you wanna hear all my dirty little secrets?!" carrie asked sarcastically, her tone slightly harsh.

calvin continued to smirk, completely unbothered. "i love dirty little secrets." he answered in a calm, charming manner.

from there, carrie informed calvin on everything. from the time her and berger met, to when he ghosts her, when they're perfect together, then to their troubles in the bedroom.

"he'd be so mad if he found out that i told anyone," carrie said as she awaited calvin's response on the breakdown.

calvin listened to carrie talk intently, listening carefully and taking everything in. "he does sound like an ass." he answered with a smirk.

this comment made carrie chuckle, "well, i'd agree." she responded as she crossed her arms over her chest. "you think he'll ghost me again?"

"yes, but only because he's just not that into you." calvin concluded, causing me to look at him as i remembered him telling me those exact words about brad.

carrie took a second to process those words, her eyes widening as it sunk in. "but...he is into me!" she argued.

calvin chuckled, "obviously not. otherwise you wouldn't be complaining about him."

carrie let out a sigh as she leaned back in her chair.

he spoke again, "if a man really was into you, he wouldn't ghost you, he wouldn't toy with your feelings, and best of all...he wouldn't have troubles in the bedroom."

miranda couldn't help but let out a chuckle at calvin's honesty, while sam made a comment. "preach, honey."

while carrie only rolled her eyes, "some date doctor you are. you know, i don't believe you."

"you know, i'm not a real date doctor. i told you, that job title is only a joke. in reality i just know what to look for based off my profiling and investigative qualifications." calvin said as he looked around the table.

charlotte's eyes widened at the word profiling, "profiling? like in criminal profiling?" she inquired.

"i work at the behavioral analysis unit with the fbi, as i said earlier." calvin repeated. "basically, i go into a situation and i'll be able to get a read of all the different individuals involved and their behaviors. i can read body language, reactions, eye contact, tone, and everything else that comes with it. then i can assess the situation and predict the outcome."

charlotte and miranda both appeared completely fascinated.

"i'll give you some homework. study this encounter and let me know your take on it." samantha said as the hot young waiter walked over.

"we'd like to get you started with a little amuse-bouche." the waiter said as he placed bowls in front of everyone.

"well this just looks delightful." i said.

"it's our summer vegetable soup." he replied, though his gaze was intense and stuck on samantha. "i see you guys are set for drinks, so i'll give you a minute with the menus. and- oh, our specials tonight if you're interested..."

"oh i'm extremely interested." samantha said in a seductive tone as she leaned forward.

"leek papaya patties and zucchini enchiladas." the man listed, his gaze still on sam.

"mmm," she hummed as he walked away.

"i'm gonna need a pizza after this." miranda commented.

"and i'm gonna need a napkin to dry off my seat." samantha said before turning to calvin. "what do you got?"

"that i won't be trying their specials." he joked before seeing the glare samantha sent.

"on a serious note?" she countered.

"oh, serious note." he replied with a chuckle.

"profile the waiter." samantha ordered, a smirk across her mouth.

he was quite amused with the game. "he's young...early 20's i'd say. fairly tall, he can handle himself pretty well. charming, humbled, and here's what you want to hear, it seems like he's a fan of samantha."

a cheeky smile spread across samantha's face as she looked around the table. "you got that off the bat?"

"it's just little things. i notice a man's tone when he's speaking, his body language, the way he holds eye contact. he's obviously attracted to you, and judging from the way his eyes were on you the moment he walked up, i'd say he's interested in more than just serving you the food here." calvin answered.

"very good." carrie said with a nod.

miranda crossed her arms, "profile me now."

"ladies, calvin isn't on the clock! he's out to dinner." i told them. "who are you even here with?" i asked.

he looked at a booth where a lonely girl sat, "her. i'm on a date."

samantha's interest suddenly heightened. "a date?!"

"and you just left her?" charlotte asked, her eyes nearly popping out.

"she's fine. i'm only a couple feet away." calvin said with a shrug as he motioned at the booth. "and plus, i only came to say hello to jamie when you all pulled me to work for free."

carrie let out a laugh at his comment. "that's on you, you sat down of your own will."

"well as soon as i started talking to you ladies i knew i was roped into a whole free therapy session." calvin teased.

miranda chuckled, letting out a snort. "well, we all have problems that we desperately need to dump out. are you ready to be our own personal therapist for the night?"

"i'm off the clock." he said as he stood up.

"oh come on, the least you could do is sit here and keep us all entertained while we slowly starve." samantha pleaded.

"slowly? we're gonna be starved the whole night with this raw shit!" miranda exclaimed.

calvin chuckled, "i'm not gonna give professional advice for the rest of the night. that stuff stays at work."

i shook my head, "good, calvin. don't let them rope you into this, you're on a date for god sakes!"

CENTRAL PARK
new york, new york
3pm

while walking with charlotte who was pushing lily in the stroller, i walked her dog, elizabeth taylor. "so you're seeing holden again, that's...good! i'm happy that he doesn't hate you after what happened with the peanut butter." charlotte said as she started to jog.

"it's weird! i hadn't realized how much i missed him until..." i said before she interrupted.

"until you realized how much you feel for him." charlotte finished my sentence as she kept in pace with me.

"exactly! it's wild, it's like i'm falling in love with him all over again." i asked as i tugged on elizabeth's leash, keeping a good distance between her and lily. "i mean seeing him these past few weeks has truly been..." i tried to look for the right word.

"amazing?" charlotte hinted.

i nodded in agreement. "wonderful... perfect... everything that i could ever want in a relationship."

charlotte couldn't help but chuckle at the way i gushed over holden. "you're such a romantic."

"you're even more of a romantic." i said as dakota approached us in his jogger set.

"my favorite girls." he said.

i paused, "dakota, how does it feel living with all girls? charlotte, lily, elizabeth taylor, jemma..." i asked my older brother since jemma moved back in with them due to her doing modeling full time.

he let out a laugh, "i'm outnumbered. my clothes get stolen, there's always a hair in the shower, and i have no say in what movies are on tv." dakota said before he leaned down and planted a kiss on charlotte's cheek.

charlotte chuckled as dakota ran a hand over her hair. "it's a house full of love."

"a house full of estrogen." i mumbled under my breath.

dakota let out a snort. "the house is full of estrogen and it's very expensive." he joked, referring to the large diamond rock on charlotte's finger.

housekeeping notes !

missing tiktok right about now 😢