! BAD GIRLS ! BAD GIRLS !

( a sex and the city fic )

POSSIBLE APARTMENT #1
park avenue, new york, new york
1:30pm

i shook my head as i waited on this real estate agent with dakota and jemma. "he's thirty minutes late. i left work early for him to be thirty minutes late." i said with a scoff, "he clearly doesn't respect us or our time."

"i thought real estate agents care about time management," dakota said with a roll of the eyes as he stood next to me on the sidewalk.

jemma shrugged as she looked up at the apartment building next to us. "maybe he just got stuck in traffic." she said, trying to remain optimistic.

"maybe you should've picked out the real estate agent yourself rather than relying on your friend." dakota said to me. "do you even know this realtor's name?"

i shook my head, "no. but samantha recommended him, he comes well rated apparently." i said.

"so this guy is 'well rated' and still can't manage to be on time? what a joke." dakota grumbled.

my head turned towards the approaching footsteps, recognizing the voice that followed shortly after. the british accent, once crisp and clear was now faint from years of living in america. though it was still obvious where he was from.

the man was tall, with brown hair and deep brown eyes. his style was rather sharp, wearing a suit. he looked like he wasn't much older then me, late thirties at the most.

"sorry to keep you folks waiting." he spoke, "i'm-"

he started to introduce himself as he hadn't noticed me yet but i stepped in. "nathaniel." i said firmly. it was my ex.

he paused the second he saw me, recognition flashing in his eyes as a shocked expression crossed his face. "jamie? what are you doing here?" he said in disbelief.

i placed my hands on my hips as i looked at him with a stern stare. "i could ask you the same question." i said.

he stared at me for a few more seconds like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. his eyes then flicked over to dakota, jemma, and the apartment building. "well i'm here to do my job." he stated.

"late i might add." i snapped back.

nathan's eyes met mine again, looking almost like a deer in headlights. he obviously wasn't expecting to see me there standing on the sidewalk with dakota and jemma. a part of me felt bad having put him on the spot, but the other part of me was annoyed he had shown up half an hour late to show us an apartment.

"how are you?" he asked tentatively like i would explode at him at any second.

i shrugged nonchalantly as i took my hands off my hips. "i'm fine." i said simply, trying to hide the emotions surging through me.

"you look good," he said earnestly.

i crossed my arms as i looked at him with slight irritation but mostly indifference. "thanks. can we get on with the showing?"

he seemed taken aback by my detached response to his compliment, but collected himself and nodded. "yeah. sure."

he reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys to the apartment. dakota and jemma looked curiously between the two of us, but were keeping quiet.

the four of us headed into the building and into the elevator as silence hung heavily in the air. i could tell he was itching to say something to me, but kept quiet. the elevator ride seemed longer then it actually was due to the tension.

then after what felt like hours of silence, the elevator finally dinged and the doors opened. "this way." nathan said quietly.

we followed him down the hall to the apartment, still silently walking like the elevator. i was right behind him, but he never once looked at me. we finally came to a stop in front of a door at the end of the hall.

he opened the door and ushered dakota and jemma inside before i started to step in. "not so fast." he said to me. "you two look around." he said to jemma and dakota before closing the front door of the apartment, leaving me and him in the hallway.

i turned to look at him with irritation clear on my face. "what do you want?" i said curtly.

he stared at me for a moment as if debating on what he wanted to say. "to talk." he said after a couple seconds.

i crossed my arms again, a clear defensive gesture. "what's there to talk about?" i said, "we've been over for two years, there's nothing else to say."

"you're really going to pretend there's nothing between us?" he said like it was obvious.

i stared at him like he was crazy. "you mean besides the fact that you cheated on me?"

he scoffed and leaned on the wall. "you're still holding onto that?"

"oh i'm sorry, you expected me to just forgive you and move on like it never happened?" i exclaimed, my voice rising slightly in volume. it was hard to hold my composure around him sometimes.

he rolled his eyes like this was some sort of fight that he didn't want to continue. "look all i'm trying to say is that i did everything after we broke up. i got you flowers, clothes, luxury gifts and apologized! what more could i have possibly done? and who knows...maybe i've changed."

i couldn't help but scoff at his comment. "oh don't you pull the "who knows, maybe i've changed" bullshit with me." i snapped. "you've said that a million times before and how many times did you cheat on me?" he opened his mouth to speak, but i cut him off before he could say anything. "five in the span of a year nathan." i said firmly, "you said you changed and then you cheated again. you can't change what's embedded in your DNA."

he sighed and pushed himself off the wall. "i'm a human who makes mistakes." he said.

i rolled my eyes yet again. "no, you're a human who continues to make the same mistakes over and over again. you don't learn."

"oh please, like you don't make mistakes yourself?" he accused.

"don't pull that on me." i said. "i don't cheat. you want to talk about mistakes? how about you don't commit to a person if you have no plans of being loyal."

he stayed silent as a guilty look passed his face.

"don't you look like that. you can't feel guilty for cheating and then just expect people to forgive and forget." i said, my irritation was clear on my face.

he glanced down as he pushed his hands into his pockets, looking like a toddler who got yelled at by his mother. "i'm not expecting you to forgive me." he mumbled.

"clearly you are if you're with me right now instead of showing me to apartment." i said before my phone started ringing, it was samantha. i didn't pick up and instead recalled something, "and you fucked samantha jones?"

he tensed up the second i mentioned samantha's name. he was looking anywhere but at me. i could tell that i'd hit a nerve.

"don't pretend like you don't know what i'm talking about." i snapped at him. "how else do you think i got this showing with you? because you and i both know i wouldn't go out of my way to get stuck with you."

he shifted on his feet awkwardly like he was embarrassed that i knew about him and samantha before looking back at me. "samantha and i just..." he trailed off, "it wasn't supposed to happen. she was at this party and one thing led to the next. it's not like we were serious. it was just one fuck, jamie."

i clenched my jaw. i tried to not be angry, but this was hard. he was acting like he didn't do anything wrong which was just pissing me off more. i didn't even think. i raised my hand and smacked him hard across the face. the sound echoed in the hallway.

"what the hell?!" he yelled.

"i've been wanting to do that for such a long time." i said with a smile, feeling satisfied. "so what, you get paid commission?"

"did you just smack me?" he asked with shock as he reached a hand up to his cheek. i had to admit feeling a little proud of myself for actually slapping him. he deserved it. he stayed quiet for a second before he spoke again, "yes, i get paid commission. why?"

"well then we're leaving. i don't want my brother getting a home that has anything to do with you." i said.

"you know i'm good at my job." he said coldly. "don't be stupid, i'm one of the best in new york."

"yeah and what? you want a gold star or something?" i said sarcastically. "i don't care if you're the best in the world. i don't want my brother in business with you."

just then dakota and jemma stepped out of the apartment. "we'll take it!" jemma said with a big smile.

i wanted to punch nathan in the face for the smug look he was giving me when he heard jemma. he was cocky and knew i'd be disappointed.

"good." he said, looking at me like he knew he'd won something. "i'll get the paperwork started." he then rubbed my arm and leaned in close to me. "it was just...amazing to see you." he said, emphasizing the 'amazing.'

i stiffened as he leaned against my ear, his hot breath on my skin. i hated how he knew what he was doing to me but i made sure not to show it. i didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he still had an effect on me.

i looked at dakota, he looked like he had no clue who nathan was. he had heard the stories and even seen photos of us. i shook my head and stormed off to the elevator.

i could hear him behind me, watching my every move. it took everything in me not to turn back and glare at him. i didn't want to look at him again.

i pressed the button for elevator, tapping my foot impatiently. the elevator doors took forever to open, but when they finally did i quickly stepped on.

nathan followed me on and stepped to my side. i could feel the tension between us. he was looking at me but i was keeping my gaze straight, refusing to look at him.

the elevator ride seemed like an eternity. "your brother and niece want to look at the place a bit longer." he said.

"good for them." i said bluntly.

the elevator dinged and the door opened. i quickly walked out as fast as i could, needing to get away from him.

nathan, however, still followed me off the elevator. like a lost puppy. "not gonna keep looking at the place with them?" he pressed.

"no, i have a commitment to get to." i said as i walked out of the apartment building and onto the streets of new york.

nathan followed me outside like he didn't get the hint. "what commitment?" he said, "work or something?"

i could feel the irritation building up again. why couldn't he just leave me alone? "i have somewhere else to be." i stated as i walked down the sidewalk, hoping i would lose him in the crowds of people.

"jj!" he called out, he was the only person who ever called me that.

i stopped in my tracks as he called out my nickname. it caught me off guard, but i didn't want to show that i was surprised, so i just rolled my eyes and turned around.

he had jogged up to me and was now standing in front of me. he stared at me for a moment before speaking, "when are you gonna stop running away from me?"

"i have a boyfriend now." i said, duncan and i weren't official yet, but i wanted nathan to think i had a boyfriend.

nathan's expression changed from amused to confused. "boyfriend?" he repeated like he couldn't comprehend the word. "you have a boyfriend? that makes no sense. you're scared of relationships."

i crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes. "oh am i? please, do tell me how my relationship status is doing, mr. cheating bastard."

he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, obviously irritated that i was bringing that up again. "listen, i know i've done some things..."

"some things? you've cheated on me like five times." i shot back as i continued walking.

he followed me again, keeping in step with my pace. "yeah well what do you want me to say? i'm sorry?" he said, his voice laced with sarcasm.

"well an apology would be a start." i snapped. "i don't know why i even wasted my time with you." i muttered.

"because like it or not, i was good to you." he said.

i stopped again and turned to face him. "you were good to me? are you being serious right now? you were the last person who was good to me. if you think that cheating on your girlfriend makes you a good boyfriend then you're deluded." i practically yelled.

people on the street looked at the two of us as we stood in the middle of the sidewalk.

he took a step closer to me. "i gave you everything you could ever want!" he argued.

"everything except loyalty! it's kind of important don't you think?" i hissed back at him as i started walking again, this time at a quicker speed.

"oh please, you're acting like you were a perfect girlfriend." he called as he followed me again. "you were always stressed and too busy to give me any attention. you think i'm the bad guy but really it's your fault." he said with bite.

his words hit me like a slap to the face. he was trying to shift the blame on me. typical nathan. "you're blaming me for you cheating on me?" i said incredulously as we continued walking. "i had things going on, i wasn't always able to give you attention. but you never communicated it! we could've figured it out instead of you going to get it from some other girls." i said.

he let out an exasperated sigh. "i'm not blaming you. i'm just saying that you were a stressful girlfriend. you're emotional, you're sensitive, you're...difficult." he said.

i felt anger and hurt at the same time. "how dare you." i said as stopped walking and turned to face him again. "i may have had my moments, but for you to cheat on me with another girl because i'm too emotional is pathetic. you really expect me to feel bad?" i looked up and realized i was at my stop, the cafeteria where i'd meet the girls. "if you'd excuse me."

nathan reached out and grabbed my waist and pulled me back over to him. "wait!" he said. "just...wait a second."

i shot him a glare. "i'm gonna be late." i snapped.

"just give me a minute." he pleaded. his grip on my waist was firm and tight, like he was scared to let me go. "i think this was fate...i haven't seen you in two years and then boom there you are! i mean shit..." he said with a smile.

"fate?" i echoed. "you think you running into me is some sort of sign?"

he tightened his grip on my waist. he stepped closer. it looked like he was going to kiss me, but he knew better. right?

he leaned in so our faces were inches apart.  "i think..." he started, a soft smirk on his face. "fate might be giving us a second chance."

his eyes flicked down to my lips. he wanted to kiss me, i could tell.

i tried to keep my expression neutral, but my body was clearly having a reaction. his face was so close to mine, if i just leaned a little forward or he leaned a little more...but no. i was with someone now. he can't just walk back into my life and expect a second chance.

but despite our history and my better judgement, my eyes wandered to his lips. they were full and pink and so...kissable. it would be so nice just to kiss them one more time and see if they were as good as i remember.

but then nathan did something i didn't see coming. he leaned forward and kissed me before i could protest.

i was frozen in place for a moment. his lips were soft and warm like they were two years ago. but just as quick as i remembered, i came back to senses and realized what was happening. i pushed nathan away and backed up. my hand automatically went to my lips, his kiss still on them.

"how dare you!" i yelled at him.

nathan looked at me with shock and hurt. "i thought...i thought you wanted it..." he said, his voice full of surprise. he stepped forward, but i backed up.

"no! i didn't want you to kiss me!" i hissed, still rubbing my lips like i was trying to remove the memory of it. "just leave me alone!" i yelled at him before heading into the cafeteria where the girls were all staring at me.

"that's a change from mr. american dream." miranda said referring to duncan. the girls were clearly watching through the window.

i nodded and sat down in the chair. i was feeling too many emotions, anger, surprise, hurt. nathan just had to kiss me. why couldn't he just let the past stay in the past? he always had to show up and ruin something.

i placed my hand on my lips again as i looked down at carrie's water which she held out to me. i couldn't get nathan's kiss out of my head no matter how hard i tried.

"are you kidding, that was nathaniel stone. one of the best realtors in new york. he's hot, rich and dangerous." samantha said. "and girls let me tell you, when i fucked him...it might've been the best. just saying, he's a good one."

"he's my ex, sam." i said.

miranda choked on her drink as she sat up straight. "that was your ex?" she said, her eyes wide.

i nodded. "he cheated on me. more than once."

they stayed silent for a moment before carrie spoke up. "he really cheated on you?"

i bit my lip. "yeah. multiple times." i could feel my bottom lip quivering.

"but you're with duncan and he just kissed you?" charlotte said with raised eyebrows.

i looked down at my hands which were gripping the water glass. "i was going to see you guys and he followed me and kept talking about fate and he...kissed me." i confessed. "he thought i wanted it...i didn't...i don't know why he thinks that. he just..."

"whoa, wait!" miranda cut me off. "he really thinks that by you guys running into each other it's some sort of fate for you two to get back together?"

i nodded. "i think he thinks that because he's still hot, rich and a realtor he can just waltz back in and kiss me and expect me to be back with him." i said bitterly. "like i'd want to be with him after he cheated on me multiple times and then acted like it was my fault."

"i hate men. they all think this is their little playpen and they can just toy us around." miranda said. "news flash! you can't!"

"and you're still seeing duncan, right?" carrie pressed.

"yes of course." i said with a nod. "we have a date tomorrow night actually...i have to tell him, right?"

the girls nodded, miranda more eagerly than the rest. "you have to tell him. you can't keep it a secret from him. he deserves to know." carrie said.

i knew she was right. duncan wasn't just some guy, he wasn't exactly my boyfriend yet, but he was close enough. i was starting to even see a future with him.

but there was a part of me that was scared to tell him. what if he got mad at me and didn't want to date me anymore? or what if he didn't care and didn't get upset like i thought he would?

"i know i have to tell him, he'll understand...i hope...." i said, looking down at my hands.

carrie put a hand on my arm.

"you're overthinking it." samantha said. "he's not gonna get mad at you."

charlotte nodded. "right, you didn't do anything. nathan kissed you, don't be worried that duncan won't understand."

they were trying to make me feel better, which i did appreciate. it wasn't my fault that nathan kissed me, i wanted nothing to do with him anymore. i only wanted duncan.

"yeah, you're right...i just want him to understand. and i don't want him to think that i'm like still into nathan or whatever." i told them.

"he'll understand." carrie said with certainty. "you've said it yourself before. he's like the nicest guy ever." she was right. duncan was the nicest man i've ever dated.

"you're right." i said with a sigh. "he'll get it." i nodded to myself.

~~

a/n

wouldn't be a satc fic without some drama

thoughts on nathaniel? he's played by theo james; it's in my cast if you can't remember 💋