[mystery gang]

Handsome_face:
u guys I'm fkvkn roaring u wanna know what Namjoon just texted me

YourHobi:
lmao what

Handsome_face:
it was autocorrected obvs but I'm still crying
"I'm probably going to end up marinating u someday"
now either he was trying to say smth rly sweet but messed up or he's a cannibal and he waited till now to tell me

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
OMF I CANT BREATHEDASKF

Yoongi:
no I can confirm he is a cannibal

Handsome_face:
dang
can I at least choose what I'm marinated in

Joonie:
sure
steak and chop or Hawaiian

Handsome_face:
Hawaiian pls

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
aM I THE ONLY ONE WHOS CRYINF

Taetae:
I JUST TUNED IN BUT NOW SAME

Yugibear:
WHOS GETTING MARINATED

Taetae:
JIN

Yugibear:
CONGRATULATIONS?? I GUESS

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
WHERES KOOK LMAO

Chocochip_kookie:
I'm at starbies what's up

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
NAMJOONS GONNA MARINATE JIN

Chocochip_kookie:
ew gross
I'm tryna drink my frappe don't ruin my appetite

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
LMAO

Taetae:
ur at starbies and u didn't invite me??

YourHobi:
shame on u kook u know how much u bf likes starbies

Chocochip_kookie:
Tae r u free

Taetae:
depends

Chocochip_kookie:
depends on what, Tae?

Taetae:
would I be interrupting anything by joining

Chocochip_kookie:
the only thing u would be interrupting is my boring morning and that's more than fine
so pls join me we can make out and gross out the grouchy Starbucks worker who sassed me

Taetae:
omf yes

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
couple goals

YourHobi:
r u implying u want to do that jimin
@Yoongi

Handsome_face:
lmao
@Yoongi

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
when will u ppl let me rest

Chocochip_kookie:
never
@Yoongi

Yugibear:
lmao I wanna join
@Yoongi

Yoongi:
u guys I'm literally right here u don't have to @ me

Handsome_face:
but it's fun
@Yoongi

Yoongi:
aren't u late for a marination
@Handsome_face

Joonie:
lmao
no we're gonna hold off the marinating at least for a little while

Handsome_face:
yes by then I will become the ultimate snacc
jk I'm already the ultimate snacc

YourHobi:
r u saying u want him to marinate u now

Handsome_face:
he can marinate me whenever he wants

Chocochip_kookie:
ok I'm starting to get a little weirded out

Taetae:
what's wrong w/ a couple of dudes talking about getting marinated

Yoongi:
ok I'm kinda weirded out 2 now
bye everyone

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
aw no Yoongi don't leave

Yoongi:
oh no here I go
already leaving

YourHobi:
and where r u going so early in the morning

Yoongi:
depends
jimin did u eat breakfast yet

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
I just took a bite out of my bagel

Yoongi:
oh
nvm then

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
...it was a small bite
I'm putting the bagel down

Taetae:
lmfao jiminie

Chocochip_kookie:
tae where r u I thought u were joining me at starbies

Taetae:
oh I'm on my way there now

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
Tae don't use ur phone while ur walking it's dangerous

Taetae:
I like living life on the edge
u see just now
just now I almost ran into an old man bcuz i was looking down at my phone
I apologized
but I feel exhilarated

Chocochip_kookie:
wow my boyfriend is such a daredevil I'm like ten times more attracted to u now

Taetae:
RLY

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
no Jungkook don't encourage him he'll try crossing the street w/o looking both ways or smth

Taetae:
GOOD IDEA

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
NO

Chocochip_kookie:
Tae if u do smth reckless like that I'll never kiss u again

Taetae:
BAD IDEA
okay I'm putting my phone away...

Chocochip_kookie:
ty Tae

YourHobi:
a whipped boi

*

*

[mystery gang]

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
*happens to see tae and jungkook as they're leaving starbucks*
"quick do smth cute"
[video sent]

u guys r a little too cute and ngl it makes me kinda mad

YourHobi:
wow just look at kook's smile lmao
das a happi boi™

Yugibear:
AWW (ﾉ'ヮ')ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

Handsome_face:
dang im kinda mad now 2
who gave them the right

YourHobi:
let's go out into the streets and riot

Yoongi:
too lazy

YourHobi:
fine we'll stand outside the dorm building and hold up signs

Yoongi:
too lazy

YourHobi:
fine we'll sit in our lazy chairs and moderately yell

Yoongi:
i can manage that
wait i don't have a lazy chair

Joonie:
everything u sit on becomes a lazy chair

Handsome_face:
real tears

Chocochip_kookie:
does that make Jimin a lazy chair

Handsome_face:
REAL. TEARS.

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
JUNGKSOKKG
YOONGI DOES NOT SIT ON ME

Yoongi:
I don't sit on him...

Joonie:
yeah lmao you'd crush the poor mochi

Yoongi:
r u calling me fat

Joonie:
nah my dude all ur weight comes from pure muscle

Yoongi:
hilarious

Chocochip_kookie:
yoongi r u also secretly gi joe

Yoongi:
gi no

Joonie:
omf i think it just made a joke

Yoongi:
it?

Handsome_face:
IT

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
CMON YOONGI'S NOT AN IT

Joonie:
[image sent]

aw but just look at how cute it is,,

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
adorable... ('｡• ᵕ •｡') ♡
bUT STILL NOT AN IT

Taetae:
hi im here after a phone call with my mom that lasted longer than it should have lmao
whats that blurry thing in the picture is that like a corn chip someone threw in front of ur phone while u were taking the picture

Chocochip_kookie:
a corn chip