[3 am texts with yo host dj gucci]

Taetae:
TIDBIT IS THE FUNNIEST WORD I HAVE CRYINF 4 TWELVE HOURS

YourHobi:
TiDBiT

Taetae:
also I'm on a caffeine high rn somebody needs to send over a pediatrician I can hear colors

Chocochip_kookie:
Tae a pediatrician is doctor for children
.
.
.
which is exactly what u need nvm

YourHobi:
he's becoming self-aware

Handsome_face:
lmfao

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
Tae y did u consume so much caffeine it's almost half past so freaking late go to bed

Taetae:
I had to finish up some work and I was already feeling sleepy at like 8 pm and I'm all done my hw now but oopsy doopsy I won't be sleeping tonight but hey who needs sleep when sleep isn't actually real and everything is a metaphor

Yoongi:
words to live by

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
lmao Yoongi
wait no not words to live by u need sleep too

Yoongi:
but sleep isn't real
taehyung said so himself

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
what does he know he's just a child

Taetae:
um

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
quiet child the adults r having a discussion

YourHobi:
savage

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
everyone needs to go to sleep honestly

Yoongi:
u first

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
no u first

Yoongi:
no u first

Blue_ribbon_mochi;
no u first

Handsome_face:
is this what u two's text conversations r usually like

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
sometimes

YourHobi:
it's like their equivalent to "no u hang up"

Handsome_face:
lmfao
ooh fun game idea whoever goes to sleep last wins

Chocochip_kookie:
I'm in

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
no,, this is not a good idea >:(
everyone go. to. sleep.

Chocochip_kookie:
um says the guy who once asked us all what our favorite ice cream flavors were at one in the morning

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
listen that's in the past I'm a changed man

Chocochip_kookie:
lies
youd still do smth like that

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
nuh uh
but i mean since we're already here whats everyone's favorite candy

Taetae:
pop rocks
OOH I HAVE COCA COLA IN THE FRIDGE I HEARD THAT GOES GR8 WITH POP ROCKS

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
TAE NO THAT WILL KILL U

YourHobi:
WHAT JIMIN SAID
YUGYEOM DID THAT ONCE AND HE ALMOST PUKED

Chocochip_kookie:
*sheds single tear*
may he rip

Taetae:
wait why'd u say single tear ur not single silly
or
wAIT
DID U BREAK UP W/ ME AND I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT

Chocochip_kookie:
tae u rly need to go to bed

Taetae:
UR NOT EVEN DENYING IT I CANT BELIEVE U
THATS IT IM GONNA MAKE A POP ROCKS N COLA SOUP AND DRINK ALL OF IT

Chocochip_kookie:
tae dont you'll get sick af
or die
like yugyeom
may he rip

YourHobi:
yugyeom's not dead stop it

Yoongi:
where is he

YourHobi:
i mentioned it b4 yoongles

Yoongi:
do u rly think i pay attention half the time in these chats

YourHobi:
no not rly lmfao
he's at his relatives who live in far far away

Handsome_face:
isnt that the place from shrek

Taetae:
IS YUGYEOM RELATED TO SHREK

Chocochip_kookie:
duuuuude
that would be sick

Taetae:
so would i if i drank that pop rocks n cola soup but u dont even seem to care

Chocochip_kookie:
literally
i told u not to
or youd end up like poor poor yugyeom
may he rip

YourHobi:
remember what i said about stop it

Chocochip_kookie:
not rly no
btw im sorry for ur loss hoseok

YourHobi:
u little brat

Taetae:
hey,, dont call my boyfriend a brat

Yoongi:
i thought u guys broke up

Taetae:
sO IT IS TRUE
BRB GOT A SOUP TO PREPARE

Handsome_face:
how does ur roommate tolerate u im curious

Taetae:
heavy sleeper
but also im not that noisy gimme a break,,

Chocochip_kookie:
it's true he rly is a heavy sleeper
like i was over there one time and tae wanted to make ramen as a late night snacc and he dropped the metal pan on his foot and yelled and his roommate didnt even stir in his sleep at all

Joonie:
that would be yoongi lmfao

Handsome_face:
well look who decided to join the party

Joonie:
am i that late

Handsome_face:
kind of

Joonie:
fill me in on the latest tea sweetheart

Handsome_face:
yugyeom (who is dead may he rip) is related to shrek and apparently tae and jungkook broke up so tae's gonna drown his sorrows in coke and pop

Joonie:
tae dont do drugs my dude

Taetae:
coca cola's a drug?
dang the whole human population on drugs fam

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
not everyone drinks coca cola tae

Taetae:
how would u know jiminie ur not the whole human population

Chocochip_kookie:
yeah jimin not everything's about u

Taetae:
hush jungkook im mad @ u

Chocochip_kookie:
what 4

Taetae:
wOW DOES IT RLY MEAN NTH TO U
WAS THIS A ONE SIDED LOVE ALL ALONG

Chocochip_kookie:
u rly need sleep

Taetae:
I REFUSE

Chocochip_kookie:
what if i go to ur dorm

Taetae:
WHAT 4, TO PUT ME DOWN

Chocochip_kookie:
no tae
to lay u down

Taetae:
IN MY GRAVE

Chocochip_kookie:
in ur bed

Taetae:
WHERE U WILL THEN KILL ME

Chocochip_kookie:
incorrect

Taetae:
liES i know ur out to get me

Chocochip_kookie:
out to getcho heart baby
wow i said that
dang i need sleep 2

YourHobi:
im so filled with rage right now

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
ur just salty cuz ur boyfriend's dead

YourHobi:
not u 2 jimin...

Handsome_face:
may he rip

YourHobi:
four days
four days and when yugyeom's back im gonna be over affectionate in the gc and make yall cringe to death

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
aww that would be cute tho i wouldnt cringe
look hobi this is an affection tolerating zone

Yoongi:
can i say smth then jimin

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
UM NO SAY IT IN OUR PRIVATE CHAT PLS

Handsome_face:
jimin u wuss
go ahead and say it yoongi
reduce jimin to pieces

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
U SADIST

Yoongi:
jimin

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
YOONGI DONT

Yoongi:
relax jimin its not that bad id never say anything to intentionally put u on the spot

Chocochip_kookie:
*flashback to the other day when u asked jimin if he enjoyed the french kiss u gave him*

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
YES TY JUNGKOOK FOR BRINGING THAT BACK OUT TO THE TABLE

Yoongi:
rly tho jimin
u said this was an affection tolerating zone and im trying to be more open about my affection this year

YourHobi:
i hate u yoongi

Yoongi:
?

Handsome_face:
dont take it to heart yoongi he's just salty bcuz of his boyfriend's death :,(

YourHobi:
ur skating on thin ice jinnie

Handsome_face:
i cant even skate tho

YourHobi:
thin
ice

Yoongi:
so jimin

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
oh boi here we go again with this
fine yoongi just get it over with so i can suffer

Yoongi:
can u come over so we can cuddle
i sleep better with u in my arms

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
sorry i cant im joining yugyeom in heaven

YourHobi:
he's. not. dead.

Taetae:
proof?

YourHobi:
oh quiet tae go drink ur coke and pop rox soup

Taetae:
mEAn
DO U WANT ME TO JOIN YUGYEOM 2

Joonie:
may he rip

YourHobi:
i have no friends