[Jimin and Taehyung private chat]

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
HOW TO BE SUAVE

Taetae:
Jiminie I'm not google

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
NO GOOGLE WASNT HELPFUL I NEED UR PROFESSIONAL OPINION

Taetae:
IM SORRY WHAT
MY PROFESSIONAL OPINION
DO U REALIZE WHO UR TALKING TO LMFAO

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
tAE pLs I'm being serious here,,,,

Taetae:
I'm not suave
I'm suaveless
ask Jungkook

*

*

[Jimin and Jungkook private chat]

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
kook is Tae suave

Chocochip_kookie:
lmao

*

*

[Jimin and Taehyung private chat]

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
yeah ok kook doesn't think ur suave either

Taetae:
I MEANT ASK HIM HOW TO BE SUAVE NOT ASK HIM IF HE THINKS IM SUAVE

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
oops
ok

*

*

[Jimin and Jungkook private chat]

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
Jungkook how can I be suave

Chocochip_kookie:
y

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
what?

Chocochip_kookie:
y r u asking how to be suave
if I'm going to give u legitimate advice then I want to know in paragraph form y ur asking to begin with

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
u turd
y can't u just be nice to me

Chocochip_kookie:
u want to woo Yoongi don't u

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
wHAT NO

Chocochip_kookie:
right
then pray tell for what other reason would u want to know how to be suave

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
well

Chocochip_kookie:
also y would u ask me of all ppl lmao

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
Tae suggested it

Chocochip_kookie:
aw he thinks I'm suave?

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
so can u help me or not

Chocochip_kookie:
I guess so
not rly much I can say
but
to summarize it
that is to say, how I even remotely pull it off
is simply to feign it

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
?

Chocochip_kookie:
as in pretend
pretend u have confidence even if u don't
a lot of ppl in tv shows do it lmao
like they'll smirk and flirt with someone they like but then the second that someone is gone they'll explode

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
u watch 2 much anime

Chococchip_kookie:
maybe
but I'm not kidding that's what I do with Tae lmao
it doesn't always work tho sometimes I snap cuz ya know
he makes me soft
so I don't always try
but if u rly want to be suave then yeah that's pretty much all the advice I can give u
make urself think that you've got ur feelings under control

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
which u don't

Chocochip_kookie:
not always, no
but also shut up
and don't tell tae

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
oh no here I go sliding into his dm's,,

Chocochip_kookie:
jimin cmon

*

*

[Jimin and Taehyung private chat]

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
psst Tae

Taetae:
what

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
it's all fake

Taetae:
what the moon landing
we been knew

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
what
no
Tae I meant Jungkook's suaveness
it's an act lmao

Taetae:
*gaps*
**gasp*

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
u don't sound very shocked

Taetae:
I already knew

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
wait u did??
he told me not to tell u so I figured that meant u didn't know

Taetae:
give me more credit than that jiminie I'm not dumb about everything

*

*

[Jungkook and Taehyung private chat]

Taetae:
I kNEw it
well I didn't actually
but I kNeW IT

Chocochip_kookie:
what that the moon landing is fake

Taetae:
waIT IS IT

Chocochip_kookie:
oh yeah totally
no one's ever been to the moon before

Taetae:
I WAS JOKING WHEN I SAID THAT EARLIER
OMF I CANT BELIEVE
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE FOOTAGE

Chocochip_kookie:
staged
like a movie

Taetae:
AND THE PHOTOGRAPHS???

Chocochip_kookie:
talented graphic artists

Taetae:
BUT WHERE DO THE SPACE SHUTTLES GO

Chocochip_kookie:
they float aimlessly in space till they come back down to earth again to land

Taetae:
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ALIENS

Chocochip_kookie:
I'm sorry Tae
there are none

*

*

[Jimin and Jungkook private chat]

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
Tae just called me screaming about some nonsense about space and aliens and his childhood being ruined Jeon Jungkook what did u do

Chocochip_kookie:
nth u can prove

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
I just wanted advice on how to be suave so that I could woo Yoongi how did it lead to this

Chocochip_kookie:
so you're admitting it now

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
no don't turn this against me u made Tae upset again I'm mad at u

Chocochip_kookie:
oh cmon he's not actually upset is he

*

*

[Jungkook and Taehyung private chat]

Chocochip_kookie:
hey Tae?
Tae r u upset

Taetae:
my whole life is a lie y would I be upset

Chocochip_kookie:
Tae omf I'm so sorry I didn't realize you'd take it so srsly

Taetae:
wym

Chocochip_kookie:
look the moon landing wasn't fake
and aliens are real
pls don't be sad

Taetae:
u mean it???

Chocochip_kookie:
yes Tae
and u know what else isn't fake

Taetae:
pls tell me it's Santa Claus

Chocochip_kookie:
I was gonna say my love for u but sure, Santa Claus 2

Taetae:
yAYYYY

*

*

[Jimin and Namjoon private chat]

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
hey Namjoon Google and Jungkook were rly unhelpful tell me how I can woo Yoongi

Joonie:
exist

Blue_ribbon_mochi:
noted