~

when we collide
prologue| the note

❝if we met when we were six we would probably be married because our parents would be so convinced that our friendship was meant to be a relationship.❞

•••

"he did it again." she thought in the midst of walking in the house.

she walked through the empty halls, her tears falling like the droplets of the first rain shower, completely unstoppable, figuring how broken she felt, it was understandable. she made her way to her room, the whole house scarily empty, too empty for her liking. opening the door to their bedroom, she made her way towards the secret box.

somehow she had managed to overcome her messed up feelings and control her sobs and boy was she thankful. being emotional and letting her emotions out right now was completely out of the picture, though that was all she wanted to do.

just hug the life out of a person she was so aroused with. someone she was completely and utterly in love with. his' warmth gave her heart all the surety it needed.

or it used to.

clicking open a pen she pulled out a notepad from a drawer tearing apart the paper mercilessly.

like people did with her.

she was extremely fascinated towards him, but her feelings were something she just couldn't explain and even if she tried; it was all in vain. so she pondered and then decided exactly what she could do; write them. confess them for the last time.

zayn,
it happens often. i would know. i've gone through it. two children, friends. friendship grown so strong, that people assume it can withstand anything, even a relationship. sometimes it does, sometimes it falls off. and i guess we're the biggest example. I never expected my life to be painted with million colours of happiness, sorrow, curiosity altogether. moreover with someone that i could never thought of having anything except the bond of friendship. it's right now that i feel something i should have realised a long time ago, he told me i deserved the world, but he never gave it to me and you said i deserve hell, and here i am nevertheless in heaven everyday even if its just over a cup of coffee and nothing but silence. he stabbed me a thousand times and acted as if he was the one bleeding but you were always there to apply a bandage on my wounds, you healed them. you told me a thousand times to not repeat this mistake, but what could i possibly do? this time, only this very time i thought it'd be different. i should've known that i'd be wrong. i'm naive, stupid, i know. and i'm sorry. you know sometimes i wish i could just go back in time. not to change shít, just to feel couple of things twice, like how it felt to fall asleep beside you or how it felt to laugh with you, joke with you or the memories i just can't escape. i'm not fine at all. after that one kiss, that one night, i got addicted to you. i craved the taste of your lips. i craved the touch of your skin. i craved your company. and its now i realised that i craved you. i love you. i love you so much.

i think the hardest thing i've come to realise over these tumultuous months is that no one truly needs me. i'm no longer a permanent fixture in anyone's life, i can glide in and out and have no effect and not be missed. it hurts me to know that i can be so temporary to those who remain permanently imprinted in my mind. i'm sorry, but i feel as if every reason i had to live is gone. i started losing my mind to win your heart and now i'm losing my sanity to get over you. i love you a lot zayn. and i'm sorry that i repeated my mistake, but it took me héll lot of a time to realise that his eyes were heaven but his heart was hell. and what felt so wrong to me was the best wrong I've ever committed.

crystal x

her tears fell again. her eyes were blurred due to emotions unexplainable. walking to her room, she literally dragged herself and afterwards, banged the door behind. crystal always thought of herself as a strong girl, but tonight she felt fragile, a kind of fragile that she just couldn't explain, it was beyond her. she opened the bathroom door and turned around to look at the empty room, a room that somehow gave her a flashback of everything that had happened. she could walk out right now and admit everything, whatever happened to her, the truth, to her husband. she could then admit the immense love she held for him all over again or she could walk inside the washroom and end everything into darkness and numbness.

she chose the latter.

~

the main door opened and in came a boy, shuffling his brown hair and taking a breath in, it was a busy day at work for him, and definitely time to rethink his life choices. he threw his bag on the couch and fell down. closing his eyes whilst he took small breaths of relief. he was here and it was time to make things right.

helping himself with a glass of water, he gazed around to catch a sign of his wife who by now would've been at the dinning table arranging the crockery but unlikely was nowhere to be seen.

he raised his brows in curiosity and checked around in the living room which screamed empty. unknowingly, he started to freak out. his feet moved around the living room searching for her everywhere. pondering upon the circumstances he shrugged deciding that she might be out for a quick walk.

she did need some air.

he took off his jacket and walked upstairs to their bedroom opening the door and quickly changing into some comfy clothes.

unknowingly, yet again, he searched the room for any signs of her and obviously found none.

"carolina?" he shouted for his maid who came rushing behind his voice. "yes mr. malik?"

"crystal is out or something?"
"she isn't out yet?" she asked, the frown on her face deepening as her voice screamed disbelief, scaring zayn.

"sorry- out what?"
"she went to the washroom half an hour back."

"what the héll?" zayn whispered, rushing towards her room and banged open her room.
"crystal what are you doing in there, ate too much?" he shouted, slightly smiling to himself. the bestfriend in him tried to overshadow the husband who by now was in a frenzy of fear. "lord this smell is disgusting at least spray some room freshener in there . . . crystal?"

as his heart started beating faster, his hands banged the door harder too. "crystal this is no more funny just open the dámn door?" banging the door a third time, sweat tickled down his forehead.

"crys, i'm sorry jaan. i'm here for you just open the door." he yelled but something didn't feel right. "we'll make it right." he rushed to their room ignoring the calls carolina screamed behind him to find something solid so he could break the door.

his eyes immediately waver to the secret box. the stupid, stupid secret box thing they did.

he walked ahead cautiously and looked at the sideboard to see the small box and a paper lying inside it.
and just like that the air inside him got knocked away.

he was definitely scared now.

the secret box wasn't empty, after years of emptiness, it had something in it; a piece of paper captivated in it which didn't give him a good feeling whatsoever.

he rushed towards the box, snatched the paper out and opened it ridiculously fast. his eyes roaming and flickering over the fresh ink in curiosity, reading it with trembling hands.

his eyes widened when he read till the bottom.

there's no doubt zayn was, is and will always be a sensitive dude and he feels a little deeper with his friends than most - he sees the men especially as his brothers - just like the ones he grew up with. but there is a change from him speaking with crystal, to him speaking with her. . . and suddenly, the man falls out of that 'brother-mode' into something else.

he just always takes things a step too far, becomes just a little too giddy, his eyes get a little too focused and everything around them seems to get just a little uncomfortable when crystal and matt are together.

the emotions can't say for sure were love ... but it was certainly something and it was certainly real and a real emotion is only one; love.

he stopped to jeopardize things. enough of molding the truth and disregarding everything.

he loved her. his feelings were beyond him. wasn't it decided to be started and then immediately end? stupid promises of never loving each other? how did these strings of love join them? it was beyond him. he thought his heart despised her, loathed her for not loving him, not choosing him. but he was a mad man, mad in love obviously.

zayn, a guy who was always so reserved, gave a part of his' to her, a part which was to be kept with him. he gave her his' heart. though the letter gave him an unsettling feeling so he rushed back and banged the door again.

"cryst-"

a sudden bang left carolina and zayn off guard. "w-what was that sir?" suddenly a wave of water came tackling through the gap between the door and the floor and washed away zayn's shoes wetting his shoes and socks.

"w-why is the water red? oh my god!" carolina screamed loudly and covered her mouth, her heart filling and bursting with the unsettling feeling.

"CRYSTAL!" he banged harder. turning around he rushed to carolina who looked scared out of her mind. he gripped her shoulders and started shaking her.

"carolina listen, dámn it listen to me! go and call 999 right now. go!" carolina rushed away, tears still falling down, heart still pumping fast.

zayn turned, using his shoulder he banged the door harder trying to break it and at his third try the door broke open.

"cryst-" the note fell down from his hand, wetting in the reddish water on the floor. his eyes widened almost immediately as he witnessed something just so terrible in front of him.

clots of tears flickered down his cheek slowly. "It's going to be okay, crys." he reassured her, even when he knew she couldn't hear him, his' heart beating fast in fear but this time, only this very time he wasn't sure because now he felt it and it hit him like a ton of bricks that he was too late.

she was gone.

•••

[LOWERCASE INTENDED]
This is the prologue, I'd love some comments and suggestions? the best comment gets a shoutout in the next chapter! X

should i continue? X