so most of you must have realised that my chapter lengths are generally longer. They're somewhere between 7k words to 10k and while most authors prefer breaking chapters as it gets more reads and votes too i prefer this. Since it's more collected and well more fun and longer? Idk?

Anyway, this one's a long one too.
Before you read, make sure you press the star button and vote rn. It'd make me rly rly happy. Even if you don't want to comment, at least vote, it rly makes me happy to know and keep a toll on everyone who's reading my story ❤️

This one's a blast so buckle up.

Last question before you go.
are u comf with having smut in a story? 💀 Let me know in inline.

Have fun reading and DO share your thoughts through comments, I'd love to read your feedback and emotions as THIS chapter is well, a changing point i suppose?

also, song for chapter attached.

love u guys '♡

~

when we collide
36| no more our thing

“Mr Zhang Wei, thank you so much for giving me your time today. Really appreciate it.”  Zayn confesses with a smile as he stares at the video call screen, his glasses perched on his nose.

A middle aged asian man fixes his screen a bit, his eyes flying all over the screen making Zayn doubt if he heard him.

God he couldn't manage the same enthusiastic voice again.

“Ni Hao.”  Zayn stares at the screen with wide eyes frantically opening a tab on his browser to open google translate, he'll be dàmned if he loses this deal because he can't speak chinese. Zayn masks an inert position, trying not to move so it looks like his screen freezed as he types into the translator.

“Hello? Am I audible?” 

“Yes! Yes! Sir, totally audible.”  he smiles again, closing the translator tab. “Network's weak, pardon me.”

“Americans.”  he mutters, as he goes through the sheets in his hands.

“Sir, apologies but this is England.”

“Same thing eh.”

Zayn pierces his lips together, taking a deep breath. This man didn't appear like he was any near to giving him this deal and that made him nervous. While Jason had an acumen for business, Zayn was generally the victim of his determination.

Trying to buy a renowned and filthy expensive painting from a Chinese businessman who didn't show much liking for him was not on his to-do list.

It was no doubt, Zayn was a hapless dude but no way was he losing this today. He'll be dàmned as he said.

“So, Mr. Wei you must have the paperwork I faxed you this morning. It clearly states the price quoted by Artsy—”

“Yeah, well, Mr. Malik we've been quoted with a better price so I'm not sure about this deal.”

Zayn clenches his hand in a fist to control his fit of rage as he puts on a smile. “But, Mr—”

“Give me fifteen minutes, Mr. Malik.” and with that last token of words the screen turns black with a small 'Mr Wei will be back shortly' taunting Zayn.

“Ugh, fúck you.” he whispers, massaging his forehead a bit to release the pain and tension that was coursing through his brain nerves.

The bell ringing gets him out of his stress as his head jerks towards the door in annoyance. Generally he would've screamed at Crystal to open the door but oh well, that wasn't an option currently.

Taking a deep breath he pushes himself up and opens the door.

“Malik?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Parcel for you.”  Zayn knits his brows in confusion staring at the tall parcel that was half his height.

“May I know who sent this?”

“It says Artsy Enterprises.”  that makes Zayn furrow his brows further, shrugging he signs the paper as the boy passes him the box and jogs out the door. He closes the door behind him with his left foot before taking the parcel to the living room and placing it with the wall.

Before he has the chance to open it a sound of calling fills his ears. Turning around he notices his laptop with an incoming call notification by Crystal. Smiling slowly he sits at his earlier position again accepting the call.

“Zayn!”

He chuckles at her excitement.

“Hello there, doll. How have you been? Missing me or something?”

Crystal laughs at that, turning her laptop a little. “Not at all honestly, it's so lovely here. God, I missed Bradford so much. I'm getting so much attention it's unreal!”

“Last time I checked you're the bride, not Jack.”

“Oh shut it. Also, what is this weird app you're using for videocall? Took me years to download.”

Zayn scrunches his nose in annoyance. “God, I don't know. This Wei lad asked me to download it since they use it.”

“Is he anywhere near selling that comic painting to you?”

“God, I don't think. He's being a little bítch—”  Zayn notices his calling tab appear.

“Shít, he's calling I gotta put you on hold wait.”  he tries to comprehend the app selecting the option that appears to be the hold option.

God, he wishes he knew Chinese.

Suddenly the call merges.

“He seems like an àss.”

“Fúck.”  Zayn curses, trying to disconnect Crystal's call.

“Uh- Zayn what the héll?”

“Mr. Malik? Who's this young lady?”

Zayn curses recklessly in his brain trying to find a disconnect option anywhere on his dàmn screen, he might as well search his house with the amount of desperation with which his eyes fly around on the screen.

“Mr. Malik is this some sort of bribe?”

“Excuse me.”  Crystal replies, offended.

“God, no please there's a mistake just hold up god I'm not able to understand this language I—”

Both Wei and Crystal stare at Zayn frantically clicking everywhere with his brows furrowed in nervousness.

“Just so you know, I'm not a bribe. I'm his fiancé.”  with that Crystal disconnects the call making Zayn stop and stare at the old man's face since that was the only option left.

“Mr. Malik I—”

“Yeah, I get it.”  he sighs. Why him every dámn time? “See, it's alright.”

Wei nods his head, “See, my company's too head strong to sell this painting to an Asian—”

“Mr. Wei, I'm Asian.”  Zayn replies blankly.

Wei takes a couple of seconds to reply. “What?”

“I can quote twice more, that's all. These Americans are about to take my job. Please understand Mr. Wei, it's a humble request from an Asian to another. I know you will understand. I'm quoting double, have proper paperwork faxed to you with all details. Give it a thought.”  Zayn sighs, almost cursing at his slow voice.

He could puke. He's going to héll anyway so a little pseudo act never hurt.

“I-I alright I'll see what I can do for you, Mr. Malik.”

“Lovely.”

“I'll stay in touch.”

“Grand.”

With a small smile the call disconnects, making Zayn sigh.
God, the ends he has to go to, to get his life on track and make shít work.

Now he had another task, talk to an annoyed Crystal.

Maybe this time he could use the 'we're both British, babe' tact?

God, he needed a couple gallon of water before that.

༻❁༺

“I'm so sleepy I can barely keep my eyes open, you'd look at my eyes and think I've been stung by a bee.”  Adam mumbles incoherently as he sits beside Claire in the bus.

“Well, that's not my problem. You could've slept earlier.”  she replies, standing up immediately when she sees the bus near their spot.

“Get up now, lazy àss.”  with a groan escaping his mouth, Adam stands up and the pair are quick to jump down the bus. Crystal's house was a five minute walk from the stop anyway.

“Do you think Zayn would leave us here?”  Claire asks, swapping her bag with Adam for the suitcase.

“After he thrashed my party, he better not.”  Adam replies grumpily making Claire quickly glance away before she asks the question that sat on the tip of her tongue for a week now.

“You heard what he said about Matt?”  she asks slowly noticing their house in a distance. “You-you think?”

“Everyone has a past Claire, I'm not going in details. They were together when they were kids so they have a lot of dirt on each other which we shouldn't be getting into. Leave it.”  Adam replies with caution, “Plus Matt's our best friend so. . .”

They open the main gate slowly walking along the small path to stand in front of the front door. Claire stretches a little as Adam presses the bell and they wait.

A minute later, Adam goes in to press the bell again. When they're answered with silence he raises his brow, dropping the bags on the floor and knocking on the door.

“Zayn! Dude!”  yet again he's answered with silence.

“How much do you wanna bet he's still sleeping?”   Claire asks, groaning in annoyance as her eyes move around the area.

“Let me check their window door.”

Adam is quick to pull out his phone as Claire vanishes from his sight. Dialling Zayn's number he waits for the ringing to stop but it stays unanswered. Scoffing to himself, he redials.

“The window door has curtains on, I can't see anything.” 

Adam bites his lower lip as he waits impatiently for the ringing to stop. Claire stares at him patiently before her eyes fly to door.

“Dang it. He's not picking up.”

“A-Adam?”

“What? I'm trying to call—”

“His car isn't parked.”

Adam turns so fast, his head almost conning out of his neck socket as he, now, notices the empty street.

“He won't leave us. He can't. Crystal would murder him.”  he mumbles.

“What do we do?”  Claire asks in frustration.

“May I help you guys?”  their heads are quick to whip back to the source of the sound. They look at the lady holding a watering pipe eyeing them in confusion, probably in her ending fifties.

“Yes uh—  you know Zayn?”

“Actually Crystal!”

Martha eyes them, silently pondering about their relationship but instead passes a smile.

“They're my neighbours you see.”

“Well, they're getting married—”

“My husband and I are invited too.”

“Well- uh great. We were supposed to leave with Zayn today and we think he's already left.”

Martha knits her brows together before dropping the pipe and exiting her main door to enter Zayn's.

“No, he would've given me his extra key before he did to get his house cleaned. You tried calling him?”

“Done that.”

Piercing her lips, Martha walks to the to the small plants on the boundary, taking out the extra key and coming back. The siblings stare at it awestruck as Martha clicks open the main door.

“Maybe he's just sleeping?”

“His car isn't there.”

“But his luggage is here.”  Both Martha and Adam turn upon Claire's voice as she points towards the two bags lying in the hall.

“What even.”  Adam groans, taking a look at his watch. “We've got fifteen minutes to leave.”

“Maybe Crystal knows? You should ask her?”  Martha suggests, tilting her face a little.

“What if she doesn't? She'll lose her shít knowing we don't know where he is.”  Adam replies, falling on the sofa and sighing.

“What do we do?”

“What can we do but wait?”

“God I swear there's something wrong with him!”  Claire scoffs in annoyance before falling beside Adam. Martha sits on one of dinning table seats, all six eyes falling on the clock impatiently.

༻❁༺

Adam's eyes fly to the clock again that ( almost tauntingly ) says nine in the morning. They were two hours late which meant if there's absolutely no car on the road and Zayn's car can fly and they leave in five minutes then they'll be about an hour late to the small ring ceremony their families were doing.

Great.

He sighs, turning to look at Claire who had her forehead clutched tightly in her hands.

“Where the fúck is he Adam?”  she mumbles, looking up when her phone rings. Sighing, she fetches it out of her small handbag when Adam doesn't reply but her eyes widen immediately.

“God, it's Crystal. What should I do?”

Adam stands up immediately looking at Zayn's old neighbour for guidance. Wasn't she supposed to be the wise one?

“God no, don't pick it up. What would you even say?”  Martha asks nervously making Claire look at Adam in helplessness.

“Jesus, I'm going to kill him.”  she mumbles as the phone disconnects.

“Let me try calling him.”  Martha suggests. She puts the speaker on her ear biting her lip as she feels herself losing patience.

“I-I hear something ringing.”  Adam mumbles, his steps following the source immediately. A minute later he comes downstairs clutching Zayn's phone with a grumpy face supporting the whirlwind of nerves in him.

“Obviously!”  Claire shrieks in annoyance.

Martha pierces her lips in nervousness before an idea strikes her.  “Maybe I can call his good friend? She must know something?”

Suggesting so she jogs to the small notebook on the table by the main door with all numbers remembering how Zayn noted her number there when he shifted. She moves through all the pages finally finding the number she'd been looking for.

Announcing the number loudly, Claire is quick to dial the number immediately as her eyes close to say a small prayer for Crystal's sake.

“Hello?”

“Is this Margaret?”

“This is she, may I know who I'm talking to?”

“Claire. I'm Crystal's friend.”

“Oh.”  she notices her voice soften.
“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, actually no. Uhm- there's a problem.”  she cringes a bit.

“Okay? And how can I be useful?”

“By finding the dàmn problem.”  Claire cries, her eyes darting around nervously.

“Come to the bloody point Claire!” Adam shrieks.

“I'm sorry I'm not catching—”

“Zayn. Zayn's missing.”  she notices the line go silent, so silent she almost disconnects the call thinking she hung up on him.

“S-sorry? Come again?”

“I called to ask if you know where he might be? We were supposed to leave an hour back, we're running super late. We'll be reaching late anyway and missing whatever function they had I'm just trying to save his áss by lowering the time con—”

“Hold on! What do you mean he's missing? He's not a criminal how can he be missing like this? That too today! I literally talked to him yesterday he was perfectly fine. Did you check places he could possibly be?”

“. . . Places?”  Claire asks awkwardly.

“Yes! The bakery? His workplace? His friend's place- gosh I forgot that guy's name.”

“Hold on, why am I supposed to do that? He's not a child he should've—”

“Aren't you Crystal's friend? You should do it for her.”

“Well he's her friend too! Why'd he go missing in the first place?”

“Well you know what? You sit there crying and cribbing for your friend instead of doing anything and I'll go look instead for my friend.”  she snaps, making Claire furious.

“Sis, what the—”  she hangs up.

“What?! What happened?”  Adam asks urgently, making Claire roll her eyes.

“Even his friends are jérks!”

༻❁༺

“Wow, the function is in half an hour. Even if we catch a bloody plane we can't do shít.”  Adam mumbles, smiling at Martha who sweetly passes him some tea.

“How long can we possibly hide this? Crystal has called me for the umpteenth time now. I'm sure they must have guessed by now something is wrong!”  Claire cries, turning to her phone that starts ringing again making her sigh.

“I switched off Zayn's phone, we all can't switch off our phones.”

“You should tell her.”  Martha mumbles. “For all we know she must be thinking you got in an accident.”

Claire looks at Adam for confirmation who just shrugs sadly. Sighing she picks up the facetime call.

“Pick up, pick up, pick— oh my god Claire! What is wrong with you guys!?”  she shrieks.

“You look pretty, Crystal.”  she observes the upper half of the yellow-ish dress Crystal is wearing, light yellow shadow dusted on her lids and her blonde-brown hair curled.

God, how could you Zayn.

“Thank you. Now can you update me where— hold on. That's-That's our house. You guys haven't left!?”  she shrieks, her eyes flying up immediately.

“Crystal did anyone pickup?”  Claire hears a faint voice realising Crystal's staring at the source of the sound.

“Yeah, I— tire punctured. They'll be here soon, mum.”  A second later she looks down at the camera before getting up, the camera fiddles a bit before it stables again. Claire realises Crystal is in a washroom.

“Where the héll is Zayn? I'm trying to call him and his phone is switched off!”

“That's the thing.”  Claire whispers, as Adam slowly comes in the frame trying to pass Crystal a smile.

“What?”  she breathes slowly, her eyes darting all over the screen in hesitance.

“He's-he's not here.”  Adam cringes.

Crystal stares at the screen before remotely moving her head in shock.

“W-What? What do you—”

“Crystal we've been waiting here since six thirty but he wasn't home. His phone was in his room with his laptop that was on and charging. We-we don't know.”

“T-this isn't happening.”  she whispers slowly.

“Crystal calm down it'll be—”

“Crystal!”  someone yells in background, making her eyes fly up in fear. Adam and Claire share eye contact before looking back down.

“Y-yes Yaser?”

“Sorry to disturb you, are you alright?”

“Absolutely!”  she yells, as a tear flows down her eye.

“Did you get hold of that boy?”

Crystal bites her lip looking at the screen teary eyed and motioning them to stay quiet with her finger.

“Y-yeah! Punctured tire and low fuel so they're-they're running late.”  she replies before wiping her eyes carefully.

“Crystal don't worry, his friend is trying to find him everything will be alright—”

“No, no.”  she whispers, taking deep breaths. “I need to handle this. Some of his aunts are here too. God my grandparents are here too. I-I'll talk to you guys I—” she chokes a bit and the call abruptly disconnects.

“God, I feel so bad.”  Claire whispers.

Suddenly the door opens making them turn to notice a fired up pair of a guy and a girl.

“Is he here!?” the girl asks.

“Who are you?”  Adam asks.

“Margaret.”

“Who's he?” Claire questions too.

“Uh- Jacob.”

“We didn't call you.”

“God, would you guys shut it!? He's my boyfriend! Any update on Zayn?”  Margaret shrieks, passing a small smile to Martha.

“Nothing, but we let Crystal know.”

“We searched everywhere, he's no where.”  Jacob announces.

“Great news.”  Claire mumbles grumpily in return.

“God, I'm going to kill him!”  she yells, falling on the sofa.

“Calm down babe.”

“How can I calm down!?” Margaret holds her head.

“Why does he always fúck—”  the door opens again making all eyes fall on the door. Zayn enters, oblivious to everyone's presence as his shoulders stay down in a defeated manner. He turns after locking his door his eyes immediately widening when he notices all the eyes staring at him like he's fresh meat.

God he wasn't emotionally ready for this confrontation.

“Uh—”

“Where the fúck were you!?”  Claire is the first one to yell followed by everyone throwing questions at him.

Zayn's eyes tiredly move everywhere before he's pushed down at the door. His eyes move up towards the suspect angrily noticing Claire staring at him angrily. He gets up, immediately holding Claire's arm tightly when she's about to push him again.

“I'm done with you being a bítch. Know your limits.”  he replies bitterly before throwing her hands away.

“Zayn.”  Adam warns.

“Shove it, Adam. I can handle him.”  Claire snaps before turning.

“Where were you?”

“Who are you?”  Zayn challenges.

“Zayn! Where were you?”  Margaret angrily asks, moving Claire away to face him.

“I-I had to get something done.”

“Really!? Something more important than your dámn wedding!?”

“You guys, stop asking him stuff and make a run for it. At least try to reach before evening.”  Martha suggests, before eyeing Zayn disappointedly.

“Yes! She's right. Claire call Crystal and let her know we found—”

“You guys told Crystal!?!”

“Àsshole, you're small family function started or should have started half an hour back. She's not dumb!”  Claire snaps, making Zayn glare at her.

“I'm not taking you, go get a cab bítch.”

“Zayn for real you're not the one who gets to make threats here, buddy. We've been here since six thirty waiting like idiots. Don't take us we could not care at least go move for your sake. You've already fúcked enough.”  Adam says, making Zayn stare at him.

Sighing he picks his bags.
“Fine, let's go.”

“About time you jérk.”

“Oh shut your mouth.”

༻❁༺

Passing insane traffic, having Zayn change his shirt in the car and Claire shrieking in disgust, making a quick turn to Margaret's place as she decided they'll leave today itself instead of a day later to 'set Zayn straight' they finally enter Bradford's outskirts at six. The sun was setting and so was Zayn's energy and confidence to face anyone.

God his father, the wrath he'll face. He sighs, looking at the siblings, both sitting in the backseat since no one wanted to sit in the front. They'd been staring outside either windows and keeping to themselves.

Zayn was glad, last thing he needed was Matt's stupid band of friends to annoy him any further. He was already in way too much. God, he wasn't ready to face Crystal.

Twenty minutes in and Zayn enters the familiar street making him shudder a little.

“This place is cute.”  Claire whispers.

“I know.”

“I was talking to my brother.”

Zayn rolls his eyes. “About my place.”

“Didn't know you patented Bradford after your sole right at being a jérk.”

“Let him be, Claire.”  Adam cuts in grumpily, his eyes staring at the houses passing. “He's not worth it.”

Dámn, the guts these siblings have.

Parking outside his house he sighs before looking up. His house looked brighter, even though there wasn't any decoration or anything. Maybe he was just trying to make it look livelier to increase his boost to go in.

“Are you coming? We don't know the house.”  Adam grumbles, breaking Zayn out of his trance. God, he was scared.

He was as scared as he was when his dad asked him to go buy a ring before their first date. God, what was he thinking? A ring on first date? Funny, Crystal might throw that same ring at him in a minute.

Again.

God, he'd hate himself to death if that happens.

He exits the car closing the door behind him, breathing in the fresh air as the sky tints dark blue by now getting ready to face the wrath that was about to unleash.

༻❁༺

Zayn felt a lot of emotions. Nervous? Hundred percent. Helpless? Can't be sure yet. Sad? Definitely.

Scared? Well, he could confirm that to a hundred too as he stares at his father eyeing him to death. His eyes fly to Sebastian who stares at him with disappointment and right next to him, god, Crystal.

He couldn't decipher her, she was staring at him blankly. No, that wasn't good. He knew she'd be angry, disappointed, throw a fit. This? This looked much worse.

“Oh, you're alive I see.”  Yaser states, making Zayn sigh.

All he wanted to do was talk to Crystal, explain his reasons and make everything okay. He knew she'd understand but no, he had to cross this mad parade of oldies.

“Wow dad you sound sad, don't do that I'd almost believe you dislike me.”

“You're testing my patience Zayn.”

“Dad, I need to talk to Crystal.”

“You should've thought that before you embarrassed her like that.”  his eyes fly towards Sebastian who eyes Zayn disappointedly.

“You couldn't make sure there was no flat tire and your tank was full? Really?”  Zayn stares at him blankly.

So that's the lie they've been fed? God.

His eyes dart towards Crystal, almost apologising through his gaze but she bites her bottom lip slowly and looks away.

“Zayn? Explain?”

“Dad, just leave me alone I need to talk—”

“You talk to me first!”

Adam, Claire, Margaret and Jacob awkwardly eye the scene, what were they supposed to do? Where could they possibly go anyway?

“What do you think is his escape strategy?” Claire whispers, making Adam look at her.

“His what?”

“He's going to die, isn't he?”

“Zayn!?”

“God, dad! Can you not make a scene please!? I just need to talk to her once. She's the only one that I owe my apology to.”

“Really?”  Yaser challenges.

“Your parents, her parents we deserve no explanation?”

“Do you even care about any explanation dad? You're still going to shove this event in my face till I'm on my death bed.”

“Mind yourself boy!”

Zayn scoffs. “I know you don't care about your family, I thought at least your mother! I'm way out of it anyway. God, not for us just for her! You embarrassed her and everyone. She was standing alone waiting and waiting and waiting!”  Yaser yells at him before leaning in.

“I know for sure it's not any tire puncture.”  Zayn slowly looks up at his glare.

“Leave me alone dad.”  he whispers back.

“Explain.”

“God I don't want to! I'm tired of explaining everything to you, dad! Doing everything according to you, breathing, walking, eating everything! You almost forgot you had a son not a bloody robot. Let me live dad. I'm tired, fúcking tired of your shít and—”  Zayn feels a smack on his cheek, sudden warmth indicating what happened.

Fúck, this was the last straw.

He looks up to notice Yaser, glaring at him with so much hatred that he almost feels his heart break more than what the embarrassment of everyone watching him did.

He also notices all the wide eyes staring at him, drilling a hole in his self respect.

“Yaser no! Please.”  he hears Crystal, who stands between them teary eyed. Zayn notices the back of her hair, the loose curls in them flowing and jumping on her smallest of movements.

“I'm your son not a machine that you'd smack and it'll work again.”  he whisper-yells, staring at his father who bites his lip.

“Zayn please stop.”  Crystal chokes, turning around to slightly push him away.

“I might as well wish you weren't for I didn't raise a boy who can't respect his own parents!”

“Great, I hate you with every cell in my being anyway, dad.”

With that, Yaser walks inside his room leaving everyone in the living room glad that the ladies were at Sebastian's place.

“Let me uh- show you guys a room.”  Jack mumbles, the awkward lot of friends immediately scramble behind him.

Sebastian walks to the lot eyeing Crystal slowly. “You shouldn't sweetheart. Be back at home in a minute.”

With that they stand alone in the room. Crystal takes a deep breath looking up at Zayn who eyes her with teary eyes.

She almost wants to console him but taking a deep breath she shakes her head and exits the house walking towards her place but just as she reaches the door she hears a car engine start and Zayn's car rush down the street.

But this time, she decides she'll not wait for him.

༻❁༺

Crystal's eyes open when she hears her phone notification. God she barely got the time to sleep after her mother, then Adam and Claire, later Margaret and Jacob came to meet her. She finally had sleep engulf her but no, nothing would allow her peace would anyone now?

From Zayn♡
read 2:30 A.M.
Are you up? i need to talk to you crystal

She stares at the message through sleepy eyes before sighing as she finally musters a reply

To Zayn♡
delivered 2:35 P.M.
my room

Crystal almost forgets time as she toys around with the ring in her finger waiting when she hears the window open. Taking a deep breath she turns around to see him close it behind him.

“I-I hope I didn't wake you up?”

“No, you didn't.”  a lie falls out of her lips so easily that Crystal almost believes it too.

Nodding slowly, Zayn walks to her desk sitting on it awkwardly as he stares at his fingers.

“Where were you?”

“On my roof smoking.”

“Why didn't you use the door?”

“So your family could perform a mass homicide?”

“You think it's the right place and the right time to demonstrate your wit?”

Zayn looks up at her bitter tone before sighing.

“I-I know you're hurt.”

“Do you? Do you really, Zayn?”

“You can say whatever you want, punch me in my face, pull my hair till I'm bald, poke your fingers in my eyes, burn me—”

“Zayn.”

Zayn stops at that, another sigh escaping his mouth before he abruptly stands up and sits on Crystal's bed instead, his hands moving to grasp hers but she pulls them away. He slowly pulls his hands back eyeing the bed.

“I wore a yellow dress, my hair was open. There were about fifteen people there waiting for you. I'm sure, no one was as eager as me though.”

“Crys—”

“I did my makeup on my own, got these white nails done—”  she raises both her hands in the air for him to see. “Pretty don't you think?”

Zayn grasps her hands making her immediately try to pull them back but her attempt end up being futile.

“Crys, just hear me out. Then if you think it's not valid you can perform any of the mentioned torturous things that left my mouth, on god Crystal, not even a single painful sound would escape my lips.”

Crystal looks up with her brows furrowed. “Why didn't you answer back then? When you father—”

“Crystal, fúck everyone. You're the only one and the first person who deserves my explanation. I don't give a hang about any relative who's badmouthing me right now, people who meet me once or twice or call only when I did something extremely wrong or something really good.”

She scoffs in reply, her eyes flying everywhere but him.

“Just look at me I'm here to talk to you. I just want to talk to you. Please? Crys?”  she stares down at the floor.

“Crys, please?”

Zayn sighs, his grip tightening on her hands. “It's okay. I understand.”

Piercing his lips in nervousness he tries finding her eyes for the last time but it ends up in vain so with a heavy heart he continues.

“I got a call around three, nighttime, on the landline. Barely anyone calls on it so it made me go and pick it up. It was Lara's sister.” 

Her eyes fly towards his face immediately, staring at every inch of his face with her challenging eyes and furrowed brows.

“I was confused because she was sobbing. She told me Lara had her trial and how she lost and now Abano is probably going to file a case of defamation under tort law or some shít and she's not opening her door. She was scared she did something to herself and she didn't know who to call because the only number she had was my landline and—”

Zayn stares at Crystal again, noticing the slight flick of betrayal in her eyes so with a heavier heart he swipes his tongue on his bottom lip in apprehension and tries to continue his explanation.

“So I bolted there, I-I couldn't let someone die babe—”

“Don't babe me. You only say that when you're in deep shít.”

“Crys—”

“I mean it Zayn.”

“Fine, Crystal.”  Zayn replies with a combination of annoyance and hurt.

“As I was saying, I-I couldn't let someone die or hurt themselves. We tried to talk her out but she won't open the door, I-I literally had to break in through her window and she was just. . . just there unconscious, a crying mess.”

He takes in a deep breath.

“We tried to wake her up, hydrate her a bit and talk her through. Crys, I've never seen a woman at her lowest and it-it was so scary and I tried talking to her but it almost looked like she'd lost any hope of a better future whatsoever. It-it almost made me wonder was that how I looked when you and even my parents saw me at my lowest point. Her sister was trying to make her understand and—”

“So you were with her?”

“Huh? Uh- yeah—”

“Oh.”

“Crys—”

“I think I'll message her and empathise—”

“Crystal, please.”

“I mean I can do that much for you.”

“Crys, I couldn't leave her there to die. Please understand my—”

“So you left me here to die instead?”

Zayn drops her hands slowly, his eyes flying across her face.

“What are you saying?”

“Nothing.”

“Crystal, that's so—”

“Selfish?”  she challenges. Zayn furrows his brows as she gets up from her bed walking to her window.

“Call me selfish for as you like but Zayn, when you give way too much of you to someone the only way to defeat the hurt that follows is being selfish.”  she turns, passing him a small smile. “Now you take it as an advice or my situation.”

“Crystal, so you realise what you're saying?”

“I do, Zayn. I realise it every time. I realised it the day you kis—”

“Don't. Do not bring old shít up, it'll-it'll start a fight.”  he whispers slowly.

“Zayn, I stood there waiting for you. Like always, hoping you'd come soon. Even when it was beyond three hours and my father was fuming and Yaser was tensed I-I kept my faith in you. Let me tell you though, waiting there sitting on the sofa knowing you're missing almost scared me to death but was also confusing.”

She walks closer, “You know why?”

“Because not even for a moment I lost my faith in you when I had every reason to.”

“Crystal, I didn't go there because it was Lara. I went there because it was a human who was breaking apart, someone who's lost hope. I know how that feels and I never wish it on anyone. I couldn't let her die knowing I could've helped.”   he argues, his hands flying up in exasperation.

“Dàmn it, Zayn! How long will it take you to realise you can't save everyone!”

“That doesn't mean I can't try!”  he counters, his hands brushing his hair up in annoyance. “Crys, you're telling me I should've slammed that receiver back and slept? Act like nothing happened?”

“No! What you should've done was go check up on her then realise that there's someone who's waiting for you here, who's stayed by you always no matter what, who might die because of the embarrassment as well if you wouldn't show up.” 

Crystal turns around in anger, preferring to stare outside at the sky instead of his face, trying to calm herself.

“And she did.”

When a silence answers her she asks with a smile. “What if it was an actual function? Something major? With a lot of eyes? What if it was our wedding day? Would you leave me at the aisle?”

“Crystal—”

“Zayn why are you even trying?”  she questions, turning around to stare at Zayn staring at her with a face of betrayal.

“Why are you defending yourself? Zayn, if you're not ready to let go of this toxic habit of clenching onto your past for dear life then your future will die in front of your eyes and you'd be helpless.”

“Let me know when you're done with your monologue so that I'm allowed to speak because on god Crystal if you interrupt me one more time—”

“Then what?”

Zayn stares at her, his eyes in slits.
“Then I'd kiss you.”

“You can't.”

“Who'll stop me?”

“Me.”

“On what basis? Ego?”

“On consent, you jérk.”

He sighs. “Crystal—”

“No, I'm not going to let you manipulate me again.”

“Manipulate? Alright, you want me to go?”

“W-where will you go? it's so late.”  she stutters, almost cursing her heart for wanting him to not go.

“You shouldn't be concerned by that, Crystal.”  he replies.

“You can't decide that Zayn.”

“I actually can.”

“Oh really? How?”

She realises, he's barely some inches away as he stares down at her.

“On privacy, bimbo.”

“Go away, I hate you.”  she whispers, looking towards her right to ignore his gaze.

“You don't, jaan.”

“Don't jaan me, Just go.”

“You've got two hands to throw me out of this room.”

“Zayn, stop with the manipulation.”

“No, you stop it Crystal!”  she flinches a little at the raise of his voice staring at him again as his eyes fly across her face. Being stuck between his arms and the window sill wasn't helping her case.

“You always do this, try to put a blind eye to my feelings but no, not again. I won't let you. I won't let your insecurities take away the only person that's ever made me this happy.”  he confesses, brushing a lock of her hair behind her eyes.

“You think I'm wrong? Done. I'm wrong. I'm sorry, Zayn here apologises to Crystal and accepts he's a jerk. You think Lara matters? Done, out of my life, even if she's at my doorstep tomorrow giving me a million pounds to kiss her like the same way the emotionally unstable and selfish Zayn did, as you were about to mention, I won't. I won't do it.”  he whispers, trying to comprehend Crystal by gazing straight in her eyes.

“Tomorrow even if someone's dying and on the other hand you give me a call, I'll be at your step. You want me to be selfish? Done. From today, the only thing that matters to me is me, you, my parents and yours.”  his hands fly up to hold her face in them as he continues staring in her eyes that Crystal almost feels his gaze touching her soul.

“I'll do whatever it takes to keep you beside me. Anything and everything. I don't want my half arséd past, my stupid emotional conscience or my inevitable and unknown future. I just want you and every second that I'm currently moving through, I want you to be in each of them.”

He takes in a deep breath, before looking back up noticing her eyes tearing a bit.

“I just want you, jaan. Nothing else matters alright? You're my best friend, my fiancé, my wife in a week, my soulmate since highschool to hopefully eternity and I— this is the last time I'm repeating myself. You hear me, Hogward?”

He stares, noticing her shocked face barely able to slowly nod at him.

“If you ever question my feelings for you like ever again I swear on every god that I believe in I'll yank you by your hair, make you choke on your ring and drown you in a tub with my week old boxers.” 

A small sad smile appears on her lips as she looks down trying to catch her breath. Zayn slowly, brushes her hair away and tilting her head up to look at him.

“No Zayn, not this time.”

“What did I say?”

“T-that you'll choke me—”

“Not that dámn it, before that.”

“To never question your feelings.”

“Why?”

She looks up with the same sad smile playing on her lips as she bites her lips.

“Woah, hold on. Is that a smile? For me? Good heavens.”

“Zayn.”

“Tie me to your bed post till the wedding day, Hogward, I don't care. I'm not going alright?”

“Promise me.”  she whispers.

“I promise on my life—”

“No, promise on my life.”

“Stakes are high.”

“Zayn.”  she groans, making a smile appear on his lips as he slowly ducks to kiss her temple.

“I promise on you, I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to.”

Smiling a little, his arms fly around her neck. A sigh of relief escapes her mouth when she feels his arms wrap around her waist.

“Woah, what happened to that consent?”

“Fúck you, Zayn.”

“Malik, Crystal Ma—”

“Zayn, I'm still ma—”

“I know.”  he whispers. “I know I just- I'll leave in a minute if you want, just let me stay here for a bit with you so at least it feels like everything is alright.”

༻❁༺

It was five in the morning when Crystal's eyes turn yet again to glance at Zayn. It was almost like something stole her sleep. Rather, someone.

It was three in the morning when he came in her room through the window pleading to talk, and the thought stroke her.

'the only people up this late are either in love or heartbroken'

Obviously he couldn't sleep, he was so heartbroken, embarrassed confused so she let him in.

She knew they'd fight, discuss, argue, cry but somehow it'll be alright.

It all happened and by five in the morning, he was fast asleep on the right side of her bed, the side he liked. 

But she wasn't. 

The thought stroke her again.

'the only people up this late are either in love or heartbroken',

She knew he was heartbroken, but so was she. But, she also knew that wasn't certainly the reason that is keeping her up at such ungodly hour.

That moment she realises, she's screwed.

Anger was coursing through her veins yet she couldn't bring herself to look away. It was almost not surprising that a situation like this, yet again, stood between them. Sighing a little, Crystal's hand hesitantly touches Zayn's hair that covered his forehead, brushing his fringe away from his eyes.

She couldn't possibly comprehend the whirlwind of emotions that was raging inside her. It felt lethal to her.
All this time that she spent with Zayn, maybe she couldn't comprehend how his brain works but she'd understood a lot.

She'd started to ask him how his day went after day three, almost everyday day or a in a day or two. Some days, Zayn would happily answer and on some he'd pass a smile but on certain exhausting days he won't reply at all.

Crystal had slowly accustomed herself to his silence because she knew she'd ask him again. A couple of times before he'd give in.

That was their thing.

If not words then she'd drop the secret box and walk away, sneakily reading whatever he wrote when he's fast asleep and never mentioning it again.

She just wanted to make sure he's okay.

Then, couple months later, she started comparing him to things that left her awestruck fluently. The moon, the galaxy. He'd reply with silence again, frequently, sometimes a subtle smile and that's all she got from him but that didn't stop her either. She knew everytime he appreciated and loved that.

Slowly, it became their thing too.

Another (and the most important in her list), don't let him push you away. She'd written that in the numerous books titled Zayn in her brain's library and hidden them in the deepest potions so nothing could ever remove or take that book away.

He tried that often, to push away everything that made him happy. Sometimes she would scream, throw a fit, probably slam the nearest book in her hand right on his face but mostly, she'd fall into his arms and hold him close. Sometimes, to make him feel better, sometimes, selfishly, to make sure he's still there.

She'd often have to whisper-promise that she'd stay, she won't leave, she won't run, she won't die on him. Just pull him in her laps and play with his hair till he falls asleep. She was sure it made him feel better. At least, she hoped.

She hoped Zayn would find a love that he won't have to question. It was weird that he'd probably, hopefully find it in her.

There were a lot of things about this confusing yet alluring man in her bed who prefers the right side of bed just because Crystal said she wants the right side. He was so used to coming in her room every night, rest his head on her lap and close his eyes. A silence always followed and Crystal could feel that even though he never had the guts to accept that he wanted to lay beside her, hold her, have her hold him, she'd stay mum because she knew whenever he did that his life was crashing, he wasn't feeling like Zayn.

A sad smile forms on her lips when she realises even her list ended with his name itself.

She'd done a lot, felt a lot, known a Zayn she'd never knew existed and it was surreal because to his parents he was just like any son in the world, to Lara he was like any other boy, to his dream job he was like any other colleague but Crystal, to her he was like the first ray of moonlight, like the hidden constellations that everyone tries to find and comprehend but only certain manage to understand it through the blanket of darkness hiding it only because they tried hard enough.

He made her cry, unstable, feel weird but that didn't mean he never tried. He tried so much. God, he'd spend hours trying to mend himself into a better version for her. Be there for her, give her possibly everything she could dream for but alas, he didn't give her something she wanted the most.

His heart.

Not completely yet.

Zayn was like a mystery, a huge dark galaxy that's like a maze of darkness that you won't wanna go to but the stars allure you, attract you. A maze where you can get lost, but rather, she found herself.

She'd call him beautiful, amazing, every good word to exist in this world beyond his name and he'd pass her a small smile. Their thing.

A smile that made her skip a beat, made her feel things that carried a sense of unfamiliarity.

Crystal takes in a deep breath, breaking through the train of thoughts she got lost in before she brushes her hand through his hair again.

“Zayn?”  she whispers slowly but soft snores is all she gets in return.

“Zayn?”  she tries again.

Her hand slowly, brushes his neck before she hesitantly leans in so that her lips are barely an inch away from his ears. Her eyes tear up a bit as she shares a secret with her best friend that she couldn't disclose to her to be husband.

“I did something wrong, Zayn. Remember when we were seven we promised each other we'd do everything together? Since then whatever we did somehow turned to our thing. Everyone would say it's 'their thing' I broke that promise, Zayn. I-I did something without you and I'm sorry best friend.” piercing her lips again she feels her throat forming a lump as her eyes tear up again.

She takes in a deep breath.

“Zayn. . . I-I love you.”  

Her breaths come out uneven.

She slowly distances away as a hand flies to rub away the fossils of sorrow that traced down her cheek. Half of her sanity felt scared that he heard her while half of it knows he didn't.

But, what hurt her the most was, all of her knew it wouldn't matter anyway.

Not unless he says it back.

Sadly, she knew he won't.

___

hmm 💀 what do u think?

inline any emoji that describes your emotion after you've completed reading this chapter?

Mine are 😭😲🤧😞😵

we're heading to the 👰🤵 soon oof.