you might fix the masterpiece but what you forget is it'll still have cracks that'll remind you of how it broke. Hello, yes, I'm alive. And through very shitty conditions i was able to write this chapter for y'all so y'all better spam with comments and votes because YOU ALL ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE ALL OF YOU TO BITS I SWEAR😭❤️

also, im sorry in advance. lmao.

~
when we collide
20| it's unofficial

“All I'm saying is we want you both back in Bradford for New Years. We've so much to discuss!”  Cecile orders. Crystal rolls her eyes sipping on the mocktail Margaret was sweet enough to get for her.

“Mum, I'm still in here. Can we discuss this later?”  she whispers-yells, her hands finding their way to her dress and toying around with it. “I don't mind, sweetie. All I'm saying is be back by Christmas. We've so many places decided and I even looked at some wedding dres—”

“Mum,”  she sighs. “Later.”
“Are you happy Crystal?”  she hears her mother ask in a whisper tone. Was she happy?
“I've to go.”
“But—”

“Bye, bye- love you!”  Crystal disconnects the phone without considering to hear her reply. She stares at the drink in her hand and chucks it in suddenly needing something strong.

Walking to the bar she sits herself waving to the bartender whilst picking at her nails. She notices her phone ringing as it lies on the counter and Zayn's caller I. D. visible.

Picking up the call her brows immediately furrow when all she hears are distort voices.
“Hello Zayn?”  she tries.

“Cry– locked . . . don't—”
“What?”  she hisses, standing up to rush to a lesser chaotic corner.
“Zayn? What are you saying?”

“I'm– help me . . . lift—”
“Zayn I can't hear anything,”  she complains, pulling at her hair slowly. “What locked? Are you okay?”

“Crystal– no battery . . . Lara– locked. . . Hello?”  she hears coughing in the background but all she hears is Lara. It stings in her mind and spins in her head like wildfire in a forest raging to destroy everything. “Crystal I'm locked– hello? . . . Lift, in a lift!”

Locked in a lift? “What?! How, which lift?”  she yells trying to focus and concentrate on his distort voice but gets even more frustrated when the voice cuts.
The call disconnects and she taps on the screen continuously trying to call but when his mobile comes switched off she groans.

Twenty seven lifts in this hotel, how is she supposed to find him?

“Are you for real?”  Zayn groans, staring at the black screen of his phone and sighs. Whatsoever there was no connection or network and apparently god has other plans to fúck up his life, his phone died right now out of all times.  “I'm done!”  he groans, sliding his phone in his back pocket and grasping the doors of the lift to pull them apart.

“CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!”  he yells but his brows furrow in confusion when he hears Lara laugh. He turns around to gaze at Lara, sprawled on the corner with her face laced in sweat and her cheeks wet with tears.

It was hard for her to breath in there and with the emergency light on it hardly made any difference. “What are you laughing at? Me looking like a complete fool?”

Shaking her head she takes deep breaths in, giggling softly that it almost makes Zayn certain she's possessed. “You're scared.”
Raising his brow Zayn challenges her to continue. “You're scared of staying a second longer here with me.”  she breathes. Zayn eyes her down. Even though she was completely drained in her own sweat breathless as she drowns in her fear she still intimidated him.

He stares in her eyes and suddenly the walls start compressing even if they were more closer than he likes.

“Stop staring at me like that.”  Zayn hisses, sliding down onto the lift floor and clutching his hair. “Like what?”
“Like you still give a shít about my feelings.”  he complains.

“Look me in the eyes and say you don't care anymore.”
Zayn breathes, touching the ring on his index finger. “I can't, it hurts me.”
Lara breathes out. “Because you mean it or because you don't mean it?”

Shaking his head he stares up at the emergency lights that flicker every two minutes. “What's in your bag now to bring me down?”

Lara sits up from her stalled position and fixes her dress that was riding up her legs. “Someday I'll be brave enough to tell you what all I feel but for now, I'd like to stay in doubt and contemplation of when we'll get out of here.”

“You do realise you've got a really toxic thing going on there.”  Zayn replies, staring at her with such concentration that it almost scares her and intimidates her. “What?”

“Do you think he's right for you?”  he asks tilting his face to the left slightly. “I just hurt him, I'm not able to love him the way he loves me.”  she shrugs.

“Yeah?”  Zayn asks, a breathy laugh escaping his mouth. “You aren't supposed to love a person the way you want to be loved. That's not love, Lara. That's projecting your ideas about a theory.”  he says, crossing his legs and staring in her eyes. “You're supposed to love a person how they want to be loved. That's falling in love.”

Turning to the main entry he feels himself out of breath. The area felt clamy and sweaty and he couldn't stay a minute more.
“Then why is Crystal always trying to make you feel better? Why aren't you loving her the way she wants to be loved?”

Furrowing his brows he notices Lara standing up, stumbling in her heels and Zayn almost catches her before she slips.
“That's not true.”

“Is it so? So she obviously knows that we almost kissed.”  she whispers. Zayn nervously stares at her sitting in front of him staring back at him like she could read him like he's an open book. “N-no.”

“No? Did I hear a no?”
“What do you want Lara?”  he hisses, eyes darting all over her face. “I want to ask you what I mean to you . . . but I'm scared to know the answer.”  she breathes as her hand touches Zayn's face, lining his nose with her finger.

“I offered you the world and you said no,”  he whispers back.

“I'd looked at you smiling at things I say, laughing on my jokes, admiring skies with me and had decided that you're my person.”  he smiles to himself sadly. “But that's where all humans go wrong. I failed to see you never chose me.”

“That's not true, Zayn.”  she whispers. “Then tell me what is Lara? Because I'm done trying to rethink everything.”

“Zayn I saw galaxies and stars in you, you are amazing and you were this little world of mine I never wanted to let go. But it was a world I didn't deserve.”

Zayn chuckled under his breath. “Please Lara. Give that crap to some highschool kid. You walked away and now you're saying I deserved better? I didn't want better, I wanted you,”  he whisper yells, pushing her away.
“Go away.”

“I know you're a man of few words, you're stern, silent and also very strong. But I know from your eyes that you're a beautiful and raw person. Your exterior cannot hide the flowers within you.”

“Sure, tumblr that to the guy who's next in your heart breaker list.”  Lara stares at him numbly and looks down almost immediately. “Maybe it won't matter in some years, Zayn, I might not even remember your name but right now it hurts so much. I tried to hold it in but I can't.”

She brushes her hand on his shoulder slowly making his head whip in that direction and then look back at her. Zayn feels all the thousand emotions that were passing through her eyes as the tears passed down. “You were the best thing that had happened to me.”  Zayn whispers, his thumb moving to her face to rub the tear away, a little smeared foundation coming on his thumb.

“This isn't you, Lara.”  he whispers. “You were a normal girl, who hated heels and makeup, your hair was always up in a bun and your favourite food was the local pizzeria two minutes away from my place.”  he said feeling Lara sniffle, her grip tightening on his shoulders as she looked down.

“You never liked italian cuisine, putting your hair up in these gigantic hairdos and makeup on your face.”  he whispers. “This isn't —”

“I love you,”  Zayn feels his body numbing and even though he was standing he feels the cool blood rushing up to his head and he almost feels like a rush of tide hit his face. He feels Lara's face inches apart from him and even though her scent was some luxurious perfume rather than the real scent she had, he still feels his control going down.

“Please come back.”  she whispers, her lips brushing his slowly and then pressing to Zayn's. He feels his body shaking and almost collapsing on the floor. He kisses back really slowly, hand sliding down her waist. “I'm sorry, Zayn,” she breathes against his lips.

“I really wanted you to be the person that changed me and took my whole heart. More than that I wanted to be that person for you.”  she whispers, her head touching his, eyes closed as they take each other's presence.

The emergency lights flicker out all of a sudden and the room darkens making Lara scream.
“No– oh my—”
“Lara.”  Zayn breathes, as the reality strikes him very hard.
“HELP!”  Lara screams, All she sees was blanket of darkness. Above them, and to both sides, walls were closing in. Stuck in a lift and surrounded by walls, Completely, utterly, totally trapped.

A fireball of terror rips upwards from her belly through her diaphragm and into her chest. She screams and fumbles frantically with the door trying to pull it apart.

“Zayn?! Help.”  she chokes, trying to find him in the darkness. “Stay away from me,”  he breathes slowly. “You fúcked me up, don't come any near.”

“Zayn,”  she chokes. “Zayn please, I didn't mean to—”
“ZAYN, ARE YOU IN THERE?” they hear a light voice scream from outside. “Jesus what number is this.”  a muffled sounds comes.

“CRYS! I'M IN HERE. HELP ME!” he screams, getting up from the corner he was sitting in and banging the lift doors, pushing Lara away. “ZAYN IS THAT YOU?”

“YES! Please get me out of here, please.”  he chokes, feeling his eyes wetting lightly but he holds his fall apart together. “OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY ZAYN?”

He sniffs lightly, shaking his head even though no one could see him. “Let me call help, they're on some different floor.”  she yells.
“NO! CRYSTAL DON'T GO, PLEASE.”

Crystal immediately stances, the lights in the corridor making her dress glow just like her face. “I need to call someone, Zayn.”
“THEN MAKE A PHONE CALL.”

Her brows furrow together as she touches the closed lift gate.
“Is there any light, Zayn? Are you alone?”  silence strikes for the second that it almost scares Crystal that something happened.

“I'm in too, Crystal.” Zayn closes his eyes in nervousness after Lara calls out. For a minute he almost doubts that she walked away. “Don't worry, I'll get you both out.”  she replies, making him open his eyes. He listens to the sound of his breathing.

“And Zayn?”  she yells, hands touching the lift door. Zayn stays silent waiting for her to continue. “You're probably the best thing that has happened to me.”  Zayn sucks in a breath, closing his eyes as the tears collect in them.

You're the best thing that has happened to me, Zayn.
You were the best thing that had happened to me, Lara.

It's always him in the end that has to go through this hell hole of dilemma and it sucked to say but his feelings were a mess.

He messed up.
“RIGHT HERE!”  He hears her shout. Taking a deep breath he moves away from the big doors, the darkness still engulfing him and his breaths the only sound he could hear. “Lara?”

When no reply comes back he tries moving his hands everywhere to feel her but when his feet hits something he stops immediately and bends down.
“Holyshít.”  he whispers, trying to get her up, his hand wavering over her face to feel her eyes closed. “Lara, hey it's okay! It's nothing to fear about, no one's coming at you, trust me.” he whispers, brushing her hair back from her forehead and feeling how damp it is. She was sweating wildly.

Lara moves her hand and grasps Zayn's hand, her fingers knotting around the ring in his index finger. The one she used to hold whenever she felt choked and claustrophobic, it gave her a weird comfort. Zayn takes a deep breath in.

“I'm sorry, Zayn.”
“Enough Lara, you already fúcked up so bad, I'm trying to help you, isn't that enough?!” he hisses. The lights of the lift switch on making him look up and sigh in relief.

“ZAYN!”  he keeps her down and his hands raise to the lift doors again. “YES?”
“SIR IT WAS THE SWITCH KEY THAT WAS MESSED UP! WE'RE STILL WORKING, I THINK THE LIFT WILL GO DOWN TO THE GROUND FLOOR.”

screaming back an 'okay' he turns to glance at Lara. Her mascara dripping down her eyes and her eyes closed. “The lift will be okay soon, then we'll be out. Don't worry.”  he whispers, picking her up again.

Taking out his handkerchief he starts rubbing her face. The layers of foundation, concealer rubbing onto the friction of his handkerchief. The marcara rubbed off slightly but was off a little. Zayn notices the light freckles on her face and her lips plump but also slightly dry.

“Zayn, d-don't.”
“Let your skin breathe, Lara.”
He opens her hair from the weird updo it was in letting it fall over his knee. The pale skin, open hair, dark brown eyes and slightly dry lips. This was his Lara.

“Why do you even?”
“You see Zayn, all over these years I tried so hard to be in love, be the perfect version of me for others that I forgot to fall in love with the girl in the mirror.” she wiped her sweat with the back of her hand. “Their flaws were some modern art to me whilst when I looked at mine, they pierced daggers in me.”

She moves her body up and crosses it around Zayn, embracing him, a sob coming out of her. “I can't Zayn, I'm so tired.”  he stares at the wall opposite him, not really hugging her back but nevertheless his brows furrow in confusion.

“He's an animal, God, Zayn I'm sorry.”  she chokes, holding him even closer to her.
“I can't do anything about this and you know that,”  he whispers. “Tell me, what's wrong?”

“I can't.”
“Why?”  he presses. “Because if I did, I'd want you even more.”
rolling his eyes, Zayn pulls his hand. “It's not you who decides when you want me—”  she gently presses her lips to his catching him off guard again. She feels the electricity pulsing through her veins. This kiss engulfed them, until both bodies were wrapped together. “Please come back, Zayn. Please.”  she whispers against his lips.

“Tell me what happened?”
“I can't, Zayn.”

“Damn Lara, the audacity you have. You're literally doing this again. I can't. I—”  Zayn pulls his hands and sits down, his back resting with the wall as he gets his knees closer to him for closure. “Za—”

“No Lara. It was my fault that I got so attached with you that I still pay the price for it.”  he whispers. “I knew it from the start that you'll leave me eventually.” Lara gazes at him with concern, as if she never meant to hurt him.

“I mean it was obvious we were bound to end and you were the one bound to end it. I was just dumb enough to hope you'd fight for everything we made in the past.”  he gives out a breathy chuckle. “Everyday I used to wake up and wonder why, why am I feeling alone, why did I get more attached? It wasn't fair that I was sad and you were happy in some new romance. Now all you're doing is scratching at that bruise.”

Tears well up again as she tries to say something. “Zayn just-t give me one shot.”

“Don't you realise that I'm engaged?”  he hisses.
“You expect me to remember that when you yourself forget it?”  Zayn takes a deep breath as he shoots daggers in her yet somehow her eyes mesmerized him. The lift shakes making both of them disbalance.

It starts ascending upwards and reaches the top floor but the doors don't open, then it descends down.
“So it's just a bye?”  Lara whispers, making Zayn turn back. He stares at her for the last time taking her in.

Today he lost two women in his life. “No it's not.”  relief washes her face as he assures.

“I'm returning you the knife you happen to slice in my heart everytime. Stab someone else.”

“Zayn!” he turns around to see the doors opening and Crystal staring at him with concern. He walks out and Crystal immediately embraces him. “Are you okay?” she whispers.

“Ma'am let him breath.”  and that's when he starts feeling nauseous. “Help her out in the lift.”

They walk to a little secluded corner, Zayn's arm thrown over her shoulder as he closes his eyes taking deep breaths. “Zayn?”
“I feel sick.”  they rush to the washroom and Crystal helps him inside. “Hey, it's a male toilet!”

He vomits a little, grasping the toilet with his hands. Crystal pressed on his forehead all the while massaging his shoulders.
“It's okay.”  she whispers, kissing the side of his head. Taking out the jacket she puts it on both of his shoulders to give him warmth.

Spitting the last time he stands up, taking in deep breathes as they walk outside to the wash basin. He washes his mouth and splashes some water on his face.
“I can't believe how discomforting it might be inside. Darkness and such a closed area.”

Zayn leans on the wash basin eyes closed. Facing straight he looks at his reflection staring back at him, the lips with which he kissed Lara mocking him. His eyes turn to Crystal's reflection to see her staring at him with concern. Her eyes divert to his reflection and she smiles sticking out her tongue.

But when Zayn doesn't smile, her brows furrow. “I was scared for you.”  she whispers. “Why? because I was stuck in a lift or because I was stuck with Lara.”
She stares confusedly at him and his snappy tone.

“No Zayn, I was concerned about you. I trust you.”
Zayn manages a smile. “Yeah.”

Abano stalls into the washroom all of a sudden making both of them turn. “Both of you, out, right now.”  he yells, stalling back. Crystal grasps Zayn's arm. “I don't like this guy.”

“No one does.”  he whispers back. They walk outside the toilet, the music a faint sound in the distance. He notices Abano, grasping onto Lara's arm as her face was wet in tears.

“We wanted this to be as quiet—”
“Quiet my áss.”  Abano yells at Lara. “You díckface. You can't keep it in your pants?”

“You better start talking like humans.”  Crystal hisses.
   “Sweetheart, you really want to side with this man, right now?”
Zayn sucks in a breath as he side glances at Crystal, who might try to play a pseudo strong face but he could easily tell a little of her walls were broken down.

“Excuse me? I'll rather side with pig than you if I'm given a choice.”
“Both of these losers can't get over each other and all they're doing is playing us.”  Margaret comes around the corner noticing this group in the empty hallway and closing to them.

    “Didn't Zayn tell you about the cute little make out session they had in there?”  Crystal stares dumbfoundedly at Abano, mouth parting a little making Zayn close his eyes together as if it physically hurt him to see all this. She looks down and then back at Zayn to see his lips pressing together (something she knew he did when he's nervous) and eyes pressed closed.

She feels this weird shattering inside her heart and without any second thought pulls her hand from Zayn's arm making him open his eyes. She shots daggers in Lara making her look down and when it became too emotionally draining for her to keep her eyes open she walks away from the group.

“Crys, WAIT!”
Margaret tries stopping her but she closes her eyes and rushes through the crowd, getting pushed sometimes and pushing others making it for the exit.
She feels Zayn hot on her heels and she runs even faster not caring about her broken zip or whether her back was visible to everyone.

Complete hopelessness converted into tears that rain down her face at lightning speed. The cold London air hits her hard making her shiver as the goosebumps rise on her arms. She starts rubbing her arms walking to their car.

“Crystal, please.”
“You told me that we were bestfriends, were we? You only screamed the rules of our friendship all the time.”  she spats, finger quoting 'rules'

Zayn looks at her with pain.
“Weren't we supposed to tell each other everything or was I the only one to keep the side of the deal?”

“You also kissed him.”
“I DIDN'T! I pushed him away no matter how badly I wanted to kiss him for your sake. For whatever we had managed to build.”  Zayn bites his lower lip as he stares to the right.

“You said you'd always be there for me, never stab a knife in my back, never hurt me. What happened to those dumb promises you made in front of my house?!”

“It was a mistake, Crys!”  he shouts. “It wasn't supposed to happen.”
“Yes, it shouldn't have happened!”  she screams.

“I'm talking about us.”  Crystal looks at him with her lips pressed in a thin line. “I tried Crys, but it's the attraction between us. That's all.”  he whispers. “I can never fall in love with you.”

Chuckling a little to herself, her voice cracking. “You know, I always knew it's too good to be true. It wasn't destined to be anything other than friendship but I couldn't help it, hope súcks.”

She notices Lara behind, face splattered with thousand emotions as she stares at them both with concern. Staring right in her eyes she continues. “And surely you don't feel the same way but I can't help the heartbeats I skip everytime you smile.”  Lara visibly looked nervous and even though Crystal couldn't see Zayn's expression because she was staring at her she knew he was nervous as well.

“And I can't help getting lost in your eyes and all that sappy stuff and your voice might just be a painful reminder for me from now.”  she turns to Zayn, his eyes wet. “But the best things are mostly the most painful ones.”

“Dumb of me to think that you'd have atleast that level of heart and care for me that you won't kiss her the same day you kissed me.”  she whispers, eyes throwing daggers in him.

“And you!” she yells, looking at Lara that she almost jumps. Without even turning back Zayn could feel she was talking to Lara.

“HOW COULD YOU?”  She yells. “After all the shit you've said about him, confessed about all the shitty treatment he gave you, didn't satisfy you. Dragged him through mud and dirt and made his life a living héll but on certain lonely nights, it's 'I love you' and 'I miss you', what a hypocrite.”  Lara sniffs, as she stares at the ground.

“I'm going back to Bradford.” Zayn's face whips in her direction as the fear washes his eyes. “No please.”
“I will.”

“Crystal please, mum and dad will never forget me for this. They'll stop talking to me yet again. They'll never approve of Lara. Please Crystal, don't go. It'll fúck up my life.”  and even though it pained her tremendously hard that all he cared about was his parents perspective towards him and not because he wanted her to stay she couldn't say no.

Which súcked, but she couldn't help it. “Cool.”  she whispers.
“Anyway we had to leave for Bradford in January.”

“For our marriage.”  she whispers with distaste making Zayn take a deep breath to hold his emotions.

“And after that, even if you don't want to talk to me that's okay. I know you promised a month or two back that you'll never leave me while I was crying in your chest. But sometimes it rains in the middle of summer or it's a chilly day on a summer day. Things happen, that aren't supposed to.”

She shivers again, making Zayn take out his coat and hang it in mid air for her to take from his hand. She stares at it for some time and smiles.
“You're a heartless person, Zayn.”  she whispers, making him press his eyes closed yet again and some tears wash down his face. “You flip this switch in you and all feelings are gone, like it wasn't even fúcking there.”  she chuckles. “Please stop, Crys.”

“It's not controlling your emotions, it's not giving a single fúck about anyone that isn't you.” taking a deep breath in she grasped the coat out of his hand and slammed it on the ground.

Whisking her ring out, she throws it on his face, making him jerk back as he tries controlling his breaths. “Fúck you for leaving and making me cry all the time. Also, for giving up on me when we barely started. Fúck you for making me feel special and saying things that you never meant and lying to me. But a massive fúck you Zayn Malik, for being another reminder that no matter how hard you try to join and fix your masterpiece, it'll always have cracks.”

Brushing her tears with the back of her hand she removes her heels throwing them on the jacket as she stares at the ring lying near his shoes. She walks a little ahead oblivious to Zayn staring at her. “Marg?!”

She hears Zayn choke, a sob leaving his mouth but she ignores it.

“Yes sweetheart?”  she looks at her sympathetically. “Can you take me on a long ride? So this town is just a bad memory for some time.”

___________

IM READY FOR YALL TO KILL ME, FIGHT ME.

Okay on a serious note, i might have been on a small hiatus but i think now IM BACK! (even tho I've shit load books to get in touch with and so many trailer requests pending sjsksjs)

... Thoughts on chapter? 😂

What do you think will happen next?

Also, do you want unmarried zrystal for some time more or you're hooking for drama but them being married soon?

And I've decided to do it again so...  CHARACTER QUESTIONS (pls inline)  you can even ask me :)

And do you want me to make an account based on this book? Would yall like that? I got inspiration from @mindofjohanna hehe credit to her.   Also, tag your friends you maybe read this book? I could rlyyy help with some feedback and opinion from other wattpaders. Xoxo

✧ Also, new description or old description, which one you prefer?

Until next time xoxo
(hopefully me not vanishing for another year 😂)