Life is unpredictable. That's what they say. Shít can happen any day. That's what they say. Don't forget to press that star ⭐ and comment ❤️ y'allllll are amazing babies and your support rly motivates me.

~

when we collide
11| hurdles

“When was the last time you went grocery shopping, Jesus Christ Zayn!” Crystal complains, slamming the refrigerator door and stalling out of the kitchen to glare at Zayn.

Zayn stays sprawled on the couch, staring at Crystal for seconds and then passing a wolfish grin while waving his hand. “Hello.” Crystal sighs lightly, shaking her head and walking upstairs.

She changes into a blouse and some jeans and throws her hair in a bun. It had been a week since Crystal and Zayn had returned to London.

For the past few days, Zayn had been recklessly working on his presentation and due to that they hardly conversed. Life was almost monotonous. The only thing that happened was their parents deciding their wedding date. February 2nd, exactly two months later.

That is, if they last.

Crystal stares at her reflection in the mirror clutching a lock of hair behind her ear. Last night when she discussed about the wedding with Zayn, all he did was give her the cold shoulder. Crystal almost self doubts spending all this time and it going to waste because Zayn shows no sign of being invested in whatever they had.

But sometimes, only this time, Crystal couldn't explain what she saw in him. It's just the way he took her to places no one could.
Or maybe it was his dumb ideas but nevertheless cute ones.

Two days back, Zayn unpacked a small showpiece he brought for the living room, took the small cardboard box it was wrapped in and with a marker wrote 'secret box' on it. Crystal still remembers the cheeky smile he passed her with his tongue pressing on the back of his teeth calling it the go to box where they could share things with each other by writing them on a note if they aren't able to speak them on face.

Maybe it was the weird distance between them or the awkwardness that the wedding brought, Crystal decided it was best to stay in a different room. So for the past days she was sleeping in another room.

“Where are you going?” she asks Zayn, as she notices him about to exit the door and as if her voice stuns him, he jumps up lightly and turns.

“I have this meeting scheduled, so I've to leave urgently.”  he speaks in urgency.
“On Saturday evening?”

“Yes. Anymore doubts?”  Zayn snaps, as Crystal stares at him taken aback and before she can reply he walks out slamming the door making Crystal sigh.

Anyone can realise when a house becomes a home. You know which stair creaks just a little louder than others. You know the turns and can easily walk around in the dark. You know where a specific object is.
Crystal had always stayed in a home, with her parents for the past twenty four years.

And now she had to turn another house into a home. But when a home starts with a house why was she trying to find it in someone's rare freckle in the right eye or the crooked smile and the sparkly hazel eyes. A home was supposed to be a house for the twenty four years of her life and she felt like she's contradicting all her lived life span by realising it wasn't the house but the person you share it with.

She turns around and sees Zayn's laptop on the table. Her eyes scrunching in confusion because Zayn never left without the dámn thing. She walks to pick her phone to call him. Maybe he forgot it?

But when she hears a ringing mobile in the living room, her eyes roll back in irritation. What a genius. She picks up Zayn's phone and sighs noticing the notification of a missed call on the lock screen and then it strikes her.

She checks her phone and then calls the reception of his office. She could imagine him going haywire for his laptop not realising he forgot it here.

“Hello, Artsy Enterprises. I'm Lacy, how may I help you?” She can literally hear the smile in her voice.
“Uh- hey. Actually I wanted to contact Zayn.”

“Mr. Malik?”
“Uh- yeah?”
“Do you have an appointment?”

Crystal hisses awkwardly. “I'm his fiancé.”
“Oh, I'm so sorry ma'am. Just give me a second.” and the line starts beeping. She sighs lightly, the things she did for Zayn were beyond her.

“He's on off, ma'am.”
Crystal's eyes furrow together in  confusion. “. . . What?”
“He didn't show up today. It's his off today ma'am.”

“But he mentioned some meeting today?”  Crystal mumbles, almost filled with horror.
“There's no scheduled meeting today, ma'am.”

Crystal stares down at her fur slippers, a weird feeling rounding her stomach. Why would Zayn lie to her? He could've just told her where he's going. He won't want to hurt her right?

“Uh right, shít. I remember he talked about Monday not today.” Crystal forces a laugh. “Sorry for wasting your time.”

“No worries, ma'am. It happens.”  and with that the line hangs up. And something in her faith does too.

Crystal walks down the packed streets of London. A beanie on her head and gloves around her hands. London's chilly weather was beyond her. She could almost feel herself dying due to hypothermia.

She notices a general grocery store. Zayn had mentioned about a grocery store, definitely not this one though. Shaking her head she enters the store nevertheless.
When Zayn didn't return for an hour she decided to let it go.

If he wants to lie, it's on him but it was definitely a hard pill to swallow for her. Not everybody wants to be in your life like you want to be in theirs and trying to force them to stay when they can hardly give a dàmn is difficult.

Crystal walks down aisles putting in all the stuff inside the cart and right behind her stands a guy in his mid twenties, his brown locks tucked back as he stares at Crystal in shock.

His blue eyes raking her in shock as he brushes his hand across the light stubble on his face.
“Crystal?”  Crystal turns around upon hearing her name and her breath gets knocked out of her body as she stares back in the icy blue eyes of Matt.

Matt. Holyshít. It's Matt.
Crystal inhales a large breath and turns around, her hair whipping as she turns so fast. Pushing her cart she almost jogs.

“Hey-hey Crisi, wait!”  Crisi. That god awful nickname from highschool. Matt from highschool.

Matt jogs and stands in front of her, his eyes desperately finding Crystal's, who looks anywhere but his eyes.

“Hey, how are you?”
“If you think I'm going to make small talks with you, you're wrong, Matt.” rolling her eyes, she starts pushing her cart but when Matt steps up his foot on the cart to stop it from moving Crystal sighs.

“Crystal, I know the terms on which we ended things was shít. But it's literally fate getting us together to solve things.”  inhaling a deep breath, he leans on the cart and searches her eyes which finally turn to maintain eye contact.

“These things don't matter anymore. You don't matter anymore. Please leave.”  she breathes.

“Right. . .”  Matt cringes before sauntering behind her again.

“Please Crystal just hear me once. I think a lot about you, morning, night. It's always you. It's always gonna be you.”

Crystal sighs lightly, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

“You have two minutes. Start.”

Passing a huge smile, Matt sighs in relief. “Crystal I was young and dumb. All the fame had gone to my head and I did dumb shít to maintain it. I know this isn't a reason but I'm sorry, genuinely,”

Crystal stares at him, shaking her head in disbelief and turns to the aisle examining the products on it. Maternity products? Seriously?

“Please Crystal, maybe we're meant to solve and—”

“Nothing can happen, Matt.”
“What, why?” Crystal raises her hand in air, wiggling her ring finger with the ring shining and mocking Matt.
“Y-you're married?”

“Engaged.”  Crystal whispers, pushing the cart and walking to the vegetable aisle.
“Who is it, do I know him?”

She rolls her eyes. “Why do you care, Matt?”  she tries looking around to find the aisle but all she sees is maternity products and hygiene products.

“What are you searching for?”

“Vegetables.”

“Follow me.”  he whispers and starts walking in a direction.

“How do you know?”

A laugh escapes Matt's mouth as he turns and smiles. “This grocery store is mine, Crystal.”
“WHAT?”

“Didn't you read outside? It says Adamry General store. I've got a lot of outlets around in London.” Crystal takes in the information, imaging how the world is round and small.

“Whatever.”

They stop at the aisle and Crystal moves to scramble through some tomatoes that look fresh.

“I didn't catch the name.”

Sighing she turns back to glance at Matt with an irritated face. Much didn't change about him, rather he gained some more muscle and height. He had light stubble and looks way more hotter than when he was the football captain.

Typical. Crystal knows.

“Zayn.”

Matt gasps visibly. “Hold on. You're not talking about that stickman Zayn Malik right?”

Crystal sighs. “Shut it, Matt.”
“No seriously, Zayn Malik? The one who walked behind you like a puppy? That art geek.”

“Enough Matt. He didn't walk around like my puppy. He was my bestfriend, alright?”

“Bestfriend my foot. He just wanted the attention because you ruled highschool. I can imagine him small as a twig.” Matt laughs lightly. Crystal turns around glaring at Matt who instantly quietens down upon seeing her daggers.

“Out of everyone you only found him?” Crystal walks down the cart to the billing counter. Matt joins the billing counter instantly pushing the guy behind the counter as he starts billing her items much to Crystal's displeasure.

“Crystal, all I'm asking is a chance to apologise properly. It's been so long.”  he whispers, pouting lightly.

“You're doing just that, Matt.” she replies, slamming the money on the counter and picking all the bags to walk out.

“Your laces!” he yells, making Crystal stop as he ducks down and starts tieing her laces.
“Jeez, looks like I just fell for you.”  he glances up passing a cheeky smile as Crystal feels her lips lifting due to memories but is quick to yank her feet and jogs out.

Matt signals the guy to carry on with the counter as he rushes out to see Crystal crossing the road. He runs behind her and when he almost catches up to her he makes a siren sound making Crystal glance back.

“Free delivery service by Adamry General Store.” he yanks all bags from her hands and smiles making Crystal shake her head. “I'm sure you have someone for the delivery service which isn't free.”

“But this guy right here is forever free for a beautiful woman like you and redemption.”  her cheeks tint pink lightly as she glances at him. Matt hopefully walks with her noticing the progress he's made.

Crystal keeps on walking as the cold weather becomes almost unbearable. She's definitely mad but there hasn't been a time where she hasn't wanted Matt by her side. She glances sneakily from the corner of her eyes to see him seeing straight, a smile playing on his face and his nose pink due to the cold.

He really hadn't changed much.

“What are you smiling for?”  Crystal asks, exhaling on her hands and rubbing them to create some friction against the unbearable cold.

“I just remembered the time you first told me you loved me on Christmas eve. I felt like crying because every broken heart and mistrusts finally led me to something good, they led me to you.”

Crystal looks down, smiling faintly. That, without thinking, was one of the best memories of her life. They were sitting on her house roof, dead from cold and she remembers how he started dancing and almost fell down the roof.

And then he-

“Are you trying to reach my house?”  she asks Matt who turns to glance at her shrugging playfully.

“Maybe it's 6:49, maybe I'm barely alive, maybe you're taking my shít for the last time.”  she smiles when she realises he's singing a song.

“Ex's and Oh oh oh's they want me, like gho-o-osts they haunt me to make a mo-o-ove they won't let go ex's and oh's.”  she starts laughing when she sees the flabbergasted look Matt passes her.

“That was attacking.”

Crystal shrugs, feeling absurd that her desperation for familiarity was overpowering her rationality.

“I got another one. . . Is it too late now to say sorry? 'cos I'm missing more than just your body.”  Matt wiggles his brows playfully as they cross another street.

Crystal makes a thinking face and smiles again.

“Take back things and go. You can't take back what you said. I'm not one to forget.”  she passes a small smile when she notices Matt with a playful offended face.

He suddenly smiles warmly at her and Crystal feels the playful mood moving down as her smile falters.

“I've missed your calls from months itself, didn't realise how mean I can be 'cos I can treat the people sometimes that I love like jewellery.”

Walking ahead he stands some inches away maintaining a good distance to test the waters.

“I didn't mean to try you on but I still remember your birthday and your mother's favourite song.”  he sings lightly. Crystal feels her heartbeat fastening and her breath rising as Matt smiles at her.

“Tenth of december is the girl's birthday and I will always love you by Whitney Houston is the song. Right?”  he breathes lightly, faintly smiling as Crystal nods her head in shock. He takes a step ahead, hesitantly.

“I'm sorry to my lover, sorry I could be so blind. Didn't mean to leave you and all that we had—” he takes another step closer now standing inches away from her.

“Matt—”

“Please smile, I can't sing anymore my voice is .”  a breathy laugh escapes his mouth as she shakes her head.

“Am I forgiven?”

“It's not so easy, Matt. I need time.”  Matt breathes loudly and nods his head in acceptance. “Something tells me I'm going to stay here for a long time.”

“I'm engaged, Matt.”  she whispers, when she feels him grasping her hands in his and her nerves rising.

“Doesn't mean it can't be off.”

“Matt.”  Crystal hisses, pulling her hands and stalling away.

“Just kidding.”  Matt yells, laughing lightly as he walks right beside her again.

'Not' he thinks, smiling to himself.

He chuckles internally at the thought. He stares at Crystal, her hair, her eyes everything was so much more beautiful than highschool. She looked like a woman now. Mature, balanced and her voice was so sweet, Matt could hear it the whole day.

Matt knows he's the devil here, the one to break it off between them in future. But he knows he'll love her like the devil loves hell.

His shot at something close to love and human unlike all his life. He'll be damnéd to just let it slip away even if it's difficult.

Crystal laughs when Matt tells her a story about college. It was beyond her how she had told Matt everything that had been going on in her life. Life after highschool, college, her aims and goals.

The fact that Matt heard everything, smiled and invested words in between accordingly made her feel good. She hadn't really scored anyone she could talk to and with Zayn maintaining distance from her it has escalated.

Zayn. She feels a pinch in her heart when she remembers that he had lied to her, almost scared thinking scenarios of where he could possibly be right now.

And when she turns her head to see her house nearing she also notices a certain someone staring at her, rather glaring at her which makes her stop instantly. Matt stops a step later when he notices Crystal's face looking like she saw a ghost, he turns to see a guy glaring at them. His black hair gelled back and light stubble shaped to perfection.

And he almost chokes when he realises it's-
“Zayn?”  Crystal whispers, distancing a little from Matt and jogging to him.
“That's Zayn!?” Matt whispers, taken aback by the 5'11 solidly built guy glaring at him. Obviously he couldn't beat his 6'2 but he gasps nevertheless because puberty didn't hit the geek, it fúcking crash landed on him.

“If he's who I think he is, tell him to be off from my vision with the same speed he vanished from your life.”  Zayn snaps.

Crystal holds him back, pushing his shoulders back in order to calm him. Her breaths quicker than before in fear.

“Twig! It's been so long hasn't it? Since the time you vanished to thin air.”  Matt laughs, wiggling his brows at him.

“Shut the fúck up you dipshít. You better stay away.”  passing a smile Matt lessens the distance between them, much to Crystal's displeasure.

“Old habits die hard, buddy. Don't they? Crystal still laughs more with me and you're still acting like a puppy. Maybe that's why you were friendzoned for forever, stick.”

Zayn almost launches himself but Crystal pushes him back.

“Zayn please. Don't.”

“It's clealy visible who's friendzoned at the moment.”  Zayn spits, smirking as he wiggles his fingers in front of Matt.

“Not like it can't slide off and ride someone else's finger.”

“You speak another word and I call the vet. Ain't no one can help a pathetic beaten dog like you better than them.”

Glaring at Zayn, Matt moves a step forward.

“Being a díck won't make yours any bigger, Mattie. Still into filming?”  Zayn fires back at Matt who smiles back.

“Please Zayn, you can shade me for as long as you want but y'know I've got hella dirt on you. You don't want me exposing what a twig and joke of a man you were back in highschool.”  Zayn exhales loudly, as he gets caught back on memories he really didn't want to fúck with.

Back in highschool, he was caught down with stuff he shouldn't have access to and it was as if the sly motherfúcker knew he could get his hands on Zayn, Matt had saved his àss being a total prodigy in highschool.

Crystal didn't need to know that information, but if this áss brings that up, Zayn will make sure he'll be deep in dirt 6 feet down in earth.

“Stop talking like an idiot.”

“Obviously I'll talk like one, how are you going to understand me if I don't?”

“Throw these nursery comebacks on teenagers, you dumbshít. You've literally got two brain cells.”  Zayn fires back, as both stand chest to chest with raging eyes.

“That's not what your mother said last night.”  Zayn didn’t talk; instead, he punched Matt to the floor. He swings back around and roundhouse kicks him in the groins, making Zayn howl in torment but ragingly come back.

“STOP! STOP IT YOU BOTH!” Crystal screams, tears streaming down her eyes as she stares at the situation. “STOP ACTING LIKE DOGS!”  She huffs, stalling to both of them as she stares at both of their pained faces with her tear sticken eyes.

“Zayn, go in.”  Crystal whispers, making Zayn gasp in shock and Matt smirk in triumph.

“You're sending me? Did you hear what that ásshole said!?”

“GO. NOW.”  glancing behind her head at Matt, who passes him a wolfish grin while wiggling his fingers at him, Zayn glares at Crystal and saunters in, not forgetting to slam the door hard.

“Àsshole deserved it.”  Matt whispers, making Crystal turn and glare at him with equal intensity.

“He's an àsshole because if he isn't, then how would you understand him?” she snaps, turning around to walk in but Matt holds her wrist bringing her right where she was.

Crystal yanks her hand free.

“He threw the first punch!”  He fights back, irritation written across his face as he realises his triumph was a waste. “You expect him to stand right there when you comment about his mother? Matt, I request you. Please leave.”

“But Crystal I just wanted to apologise, he's the one who's insecure—”

“He's not insecure Matt! He cares about me. He doesn't want you around because you fúcked me real bad and hear this, you won't ever talk to him like that again!”

Matt pulls his hair lightly, his agitation visible on his face.

“Yeah, does he love you? Do you think he gives a shít about whatever you have? Does he?”  Matt snap backs.

Crystal feels her breathing stop because she knew the answer. She knew it very well. All she needed was the power to say it out loud without feeling her heart paining.

“He won't ever love you, Crystal. He loves someone else. Didn't you tell me a little while back? What is blinding you to the chaotic-àss man he is!?”

“He's worth the chaos.”  she mutters, making Matt go mute as he smiles at her sympathetically before brushing his hair back.

“I genuinely feel sad for you, Crystal. All your life you invested your time in people who never cared for your feelings or reciprocated them. Sadder because I'm one of them. But what makes me feel the saddest is the fact that you won't give a chance to the person who's willing to try but to person who's way far up someone else's àss.”

Maintaining a good fifteen second eye contact without sharing any word, Matt turns walking in the opposite direction leaving a flabbergasted Crystal on the street. She breathes heavily trying to control her nerves.

Closing her eyes and taking a final deep breath she starts walking to the house, entering and closing the door behind her. She enters the living room to see Zayn sprawled on the bed and his arm covering his face.

“I can never believe your life choices.”  she hears him whisper as she sits on the couch opposite him and holds her face in her hands.

“Zayn, I really don't want to talk.”

“But you have to, Crystal! You really chose that sly àsshole over me? You're unbelievable.”  Zayn snaps at her, making her look up at him with irritation laced on her face.

“I didn't choose anyone, alright? And for heaven's sake stop cussing so much, it's annoying.”

“You know what's even more annoying? your fúcking morals. A guy who did you dirty, tormented you for life, lied to you—”

“How are you any better, Zayn!?” Crystal snap backs, picking up a pillow from the couch and throwing it on the floor with full force, stunning Zayn who wasn't expecting the reaction.

“Excuse me?”

“No excusing you, Zayn! That's all I'm doing from the past days. Defending your distance and rude behaviour. Trying to be optimistic but what do I get?” she cries, her face stained with tears as she walks to the cabinet and picks up the picture that's turned downwards throwing it on the floor.

“This!?”

“CRYSTAL!”  Zayn screams back, almost scaring Crystal as he rushes to the frame, collecting the pieces of glass that fell around before pinching his nose to contain himself.

“Be in your limits.”

“You care about the broken frame but what about my heart?”  Crystal screams, running to another picture, picking it up and slamming it down.

“Crystal, for fúcks sake stop acting like a teenager. We're twenty six. Act like a twenty six year old in a relationship!”  She hears Zayn scream as he throws a pillow on the floor in anger.

“Relationship? Which relationship are you talking about Zayn? It's just you and me living together in a fúcking house. There's no us. Maybe you should try being in 'twenty six year old's relationship' and not commit to someone when you're so obliviously not over someone else!”  she screams back at him, turning around to look away, sobbing lightly.

“You need to give me time dammit! I need time. Our families are enough pressure shoving down my throat—”

“Time? Time for what?” Crystal yells, walking closer to Zayn when he doesn't reply.

“Tell me, time to be a man? time to stop rationalising this situation—”

“TO UNLOVE LARA!”  He screams and Crystal feels her breathing almost stop and her heart almost pumping out of her chest.

“I still feel for her! you wanted to hear that!?”

Zayn breathes loudly, clutching his hair and pulling the locks as he stalls around in frustration.

“I TOLD YOU I WAS IN A MEETING—”

“Stop lying, Zayn. For heaven's sake STOP. LYING.”  Crystal yells, catching Zayn's attention as he stares at her.

“The héll do you mean?”

“There was no meeting anywhere. You lied to me!”  She stomps towards Zayn, clutching his collars in her hands in desperation, her helplessness nakedly visible.

“Where were you?”

“You're disgusting, Crystal. You seriously snoop around on me? How pathetic is that?”  he spits, removing her hands from his collars and dusting them.

“I wasn't snooping. You forgot your laptop and mobile so I tried to contact you through your office reception and she told me there was no meeting!”

Zayn somehow stops himself from cussing as he stares back at Crystal, trying to form coherent sentences but miserably failing.

“You're f-ing me up, Zayn. Do you realise that? You're so busy being on your bandwagon of 'I'm trying to get over her' that you're not realising I'm the one who's being shoved in between.”  she hisses, falling on the couch as she feels like she lost her breath.

“You're giving me false hope, making me fall for you when you're in love with someone else! Why did you give me the dàmn ring then?”  she accuses, standing back to stall towards him and clutching his collars yet again.

“Yes, I feel giddy around you and I laugh too much around you and your bathroom singing makes my heart beat faster and thinking about you makes me smile.”   Zayn lightly pushes Crystal away but she holds him closer again. “No you can't escape. There's more. You'll listen to everything that's on my mind. You have to hear how you're fúcking up a person.”

She holds him tighter as Zayn turns his face to the side, refusing to make eye contact.

“You make me feel safe. Secure. Like nothing can touch me till you're with me. You chase away all my fears with a single embrace and you don't even realise it because you're too busy feeling that for someone else!”  she whisper yells, pushing him away.

“If you still love her why do you have us as your lockscreen? Why do you come every night around three to check up on me and drape a blanket? Why do you do these little things? Stop it if you want nothing!”

“You're my best friend, why would I not do that for you? I care about you, Crys. You-You promised me you'll take it slow.”  Zayn whispers, making Crystal smile at him, her vision blur due to the tears welled up in her eyes.

“I know. I know I promised but it was three in the morning and we were standing in the middle of someone's property and you wanted to fúcking stargaze with me and we were laughing too hard and-and I felt happy for the first time in a long time.”

“You make it sound like it's bad.”  Zayn whispers, scared he'll hit a nerve and she'll go haywire on him. “But it is bad Zayn. It is bad for me. I cannot tolerate anything one sided again. I'm trying so hard to be the best version of me and you're giving no shít.”

“All you do is complain! Complain all the time. Everything cannot work the way you want it to all the fúcking time, Crystal. Life isn't all merry and dandy. You are important for me why don't you understand that?”  Zayn complains, shaking her ridiculously fast as if it'll crack in some sense in her.

“Why don't you understand that I don't want you to miss me at night when you're alone. I want to be the person you crave in the day when you're surrounded by millions of fúcking people but you'd rather be alone with me!”

“Stop cussing.”  Zayn mumbles.

Going ahead, she clutches Zayn's cheek with her hand. “Can you give me that right now?”  she whispers, trying to find Zayn's eyes but all he does is look to the right or to his left.

“Y-you promised we'll take it slo—”  her hands falls down, as she inhales loudly. Zayn looks at her sympathetically because he couldn't explain what he was feeling. It was as if his body was handcuffed and he was trying so hard to open them, get rid of them but the key here was time, the time Crystal refused to give him.

She walks to the cabinet and then stops to turn back.

“I want to go back.”

“W-what?” Zayn stutters, as the thought of everything changing hits him. “Bradford. Take me back to Bradford. I can't stay here anymore. A place you made with her. It reeks of her. I feel like I'll pass out.”  Crystal feels the blood pounding in her ears.

Her heart thudding in her chest. Her hands shaking. Her feet tingling. Her vision disfiguring, as if she were looking through a fish-eye lens. She had to get away. She couldn’t stay near those dàmned photos any longer.

She couldn’t look at Zayn. Her hands wrap tightly around the staircase grill and her nails dig into it. Her breathing was hard. Really hard. As if she’d just run the London Marathon.

She cries harder, her chest growing tight as bile rose in her throat.

“Crystal, are you okay? What's happening?”

She feels her heart palpitating as she sits down on the stair, her eyes becoming blur as she feels herself choking amongst the sobs and the pain in her chest increasing.  Zayn runs to hold her as he shakes her.

“Crystal, it's okay. Look here everything's alright. Breathe. Please breathe.”  he freaks out. The sweat rolling down his forehead even if the weather was harshly cold. He tries picking her up but Crystal pushes him back almost making him trip down the stairs.

He holds her tightly, picking her up bridal style as she tries to fight and lies her down in his bed. Rapidly asking her to breath as she refuses to cooperate. He clutches his arms around not letting her move as she sobs, giving up her rebellion.

Few minutes later her breathing pace lessens down. Zayn embraces her tightly, brushing his hand down and up her back in soothing motions. He lies her down when she falls asleep. Putting the duvet over her body he finally breathes.

Zayn walks down the stairs to his living room and starts picking up the glasses again. Staring at everything he throws it in the bin and sighs.

Zayn almost feels terrified. He was losing everything. He feels their friendship fading. Their connection fading. How did they reach here? Everything was terrifying.

People never understand what you're going through. They'll tell you to 'let it go', let go of the experience that's painful to you as if it's as easy as opening your heart to brush away all the memories and trauma.

Everyone around you feels you're willingly holding onto stuff, as if the only thing at fault is your heart for clinging onto memories that will never repeat, the ones you should be forcing yourself to forget.

But life isn't an online chat and memories aren't a message that come with a delete or erase button.  Yes, it happened and it'll never go away and the burden you carry is only on you.

That's the problem, no one but Zayn felt the burden, the pressure to quickly get in line with life, with the pace that people around him were moving with. But he can't put it down like a loaded burden on his shoulder. It wasn't a sack of rice.

The burden was within him, the heartache was within him. It made him and it'll stay in there permanently. What people around him like Margaret, Crystal, Martha, his mother or anyone who questions him should understand is that he'll grow out of it.

He'll grow stronger, one day he'll face Lara with poisness and calmness and a smile on his face. Maybe with his wife around him and a relief in his mind.

When he falls out of love, when he falls in love again.

And that's when he realises, maybe one day it'll be him and Crystal, sitting together whispering sweet nothings to each other. But the only hurdle in their future is she herself because this will happen only if she realises all this.

That day, when she'll realise that it isn't about dropping memories and letting go. It's never letting go. It's about learning to carry the burden with you while you live life the way it was before it.

And the decision of their future, unknowingly, he's putting in her hands. Hurdles like Matt, fights might occur. It's war now. A war to waltz out of this hell hole to find the future their looking for.
He knows it's a tsunami that's coming but he knew it was bound to come when they collide.

________________

So I snapped.

Told you, shit is gonna go down super soon.

Who's side are you ON? ZAYN OR CRYSTAL? 😳

Anyhow,
Are you liking the book so far? I'm not sure if it's worth it. Idk is this book good enough?
Also,

MIDDLE ALIGNMENT OR LEFT ALIGNMENT? PERSONALLY I LIKE THIS ONE BETTER.

thoughts on the chapter? LARA WASN'T ENOUGH AND NOW Matt is ready to make everything haywire y'allllll ready for drama!?

Character questions (inline here) x

LAST CHAPTER CHARACTER QUESTIONS-

ZAYN
Q. you used to have one night stands...  Have you ever thought of doing it with...  Crystal? 😂
Here im about to LOSE MY ENGAGEMENT AND YOURE ASKING WHETHER IVE THOUGHT ABOUT DOING IT WITH CRYSTAL WOW IM. . . maybe yes.   Let's not mention it again.

LARA
Q. You're jealous of Crystal cos she's better than you, aren't you?
Sweetheart i work in a multinational company on a high post and her almost husband is still so in love with me. If making food at home for a guy who doesn't give a fk is good then sure, im so jealous. Yeah. Lol.

CRYSTAL
Q. What do you think of Lara?
Please let me sleep. Lara is good. Cool. Yeah.

Until next time loves x
Thank you for supporting me so much, y'all are beautiful and your support means the world to me. ❤️❤️