I know a place
Where the grass is really greener
Warm, wet and wild
There must be something in the water
Sippin' gin and juice
Laying underneath the palm trees, undone
The boys, break their necks
Trying to creep a little sneak peek, at us

Okay, let's summarise what I knew about my current situation:

1. I was no longer in the normal world, but in a strange parallel world in which there was no electricity and the inhabitants of Tokyo had been decimated to about half.

2. Obviously I had no health complaints in this place that could be attributed to my heart disease. (at least none that I would have noticed until now).

3. I was in a hotel called Beach with other people who had come together in this new world and was apparently safe here for the time being.

But despite all these things I knew, I still had thousands of question marks in my brain. Why was there such a brutal game going on here where people were killing each other and what was the point? How had this playing card come into my hand? What did Ann need it for? Who was this Hatter she had spoken of and above all, who was the young man who had saved my life and brought me here? And why did he not want anyone to know? And those were only the most urgent questions. I would probably have to be patient a little longer to get a satisfactory answer to all of them.

I straightened up a little, but the pain in the middle of my body hardly allowed it. Hesitantly, I pushed my blanket a little away from me to inspect the wound on my stomach more closely and was taken aback to discover that the fabric on the hem of my shirt was completely frayed, as if someone had deliberately torn it off. But I was much more shocked by the countless red stains all over the fabric.

Is this blood?

I stared at the stains in horror. A succession of images flashed through my mind. Among them was one of a man who had been hit in the neck by an axe. No. He was murdered.

By me.

I had killed a man.

With an axe.

Was I weary of life? Why the hell had I done that?

Carefully I felt for the surgical plaster on my stomach. The wound was from the axe. At the sight of it, the memories came together as if by magic. A woman had attacked me with it shortly before, when I had tried to get through the game in the library unscathed. The young girl with the school uniform had warned me and said that you could die in these games, but it all sounded so absurd that I could hardly comprehend it at the time. Especially the fact that I had killed someone made me swallow hard. In disbelief, I looked at my trembling hands, which had previously wielded the deadly weapon. I had not hesitated for a single second.

I was a goddamn murderer!

Little by little, my memories of the events came back, even if there were still one or two gaps in my memory. But now that I could remember again, I wished I could forget the images as quickly as possible. All the blood. All the people who died in front of my eyes. The agonising death screams that I still had in my ears. This had all really happened. It had not just been a bizarre dream.

I sank back into my pillow and gazed completely fixedly at the white ceiling above me. Tears stood in my eyes. How could I go on living with the guilt of having a human life on my conscience? On the other hand, this person had wanted to kill us all. No, he did kill someone. He had executed the young girl in the cruelest way. A girl who had her whole life still ahead of her. She had practically been a child. And he had wanted to murder someone again. The young man in the white jacket who had brought me here. But I couldn't let him snuff out any more lives.

He deserved it.
He deserved to die.
Didn't he?

A huge uncomfortable lump formed in my throat and made it noticeably harder to breathe.

Please not now!

The surroundings began to spin and then gradually blurred before my eyes. My body was trembling. I suddenly had no control over myself. In pain, I rolled onto my side and then choked out yellow bile. At that moment, I just wanted to go home. At that moment I'd even prefered the hated hospital.

"Izumi, what's wrong?" I recognised Ann's voice beside me and a moment later a bucket was held under my face. Immediately a new wave of nausea rolled over me. "Let it out," she said perfectly calm. She put a hand on my shoulder almost comfortingly. Then she went to the window and opened it. The fresh air seemed to have its effect immediately, my head cleared and I automatically felt a little better. I took a rattling breath in and out.

"Sorry," I muttered when I was sure I was over the worst of it.
Ann came closer to me and put her hand on my forehead, examining it.

"Hmm, you don't seem feverish. Are you having stomach cramps?"

I shook my head.

"I-I-....have killed someone," I brought out in a raspy voice.

Her cool expression changed a little and an almost understanding expression appeared on her face.

"We all have, sweetheart. And it certainly won't be the last."
I widened my eyes in horror and just stared at her, unable to response. "If you want to survive in this world, you have no choice but to think of yourself first. You must learn to be ruthless and temporarily put aside your compassion for others to a faraway place. It's not always easy, but it will help you get through this more easily."

I watched as she reached for the bottle on the side table and poured some water into a glass.

"Here. Drink some or you'll get dehydrated," she said, handing me the glass, which I accepted gratefully. "I'll get you some food and some fresh clothes in a minute too."

My mouth quirked a little.

Although I hadn't eaten in what felt like ages and my stomach was growling quietly by now, the thought of food made me feel sick to my stomach. The cool water, however, felt refreshing and drove away the bitter taste in my mouth.

"By the way, I spoke to Hatter and he decided that you could stay with us - thanks to the 4 of Spades you brought us," she added.

"Who is this Hatter you keep talking about? And why is he collecting playing cards? Is he crazy or something?"

To my amazement, she smiled. This woman could actually smile.

"Yeah, a little bit. He's...sort of the founder of the Beach."

"The leader, then?" I concluded.

"No, he doesn't make the decisions here by himself. There is a council that decides together."

"I see. And the playing cards?" I asked.

"You get them as a reward after the games. We assume that you can return to our world when you have collected them all."

"Wait a minute," I paused. "Does that mean there are more games like this?"

She nodded.

"Yes. At least as many as there are cards in a game of skat, I guess."

"Is that why you're participating? Because you all want to go back?"

This time she hesitated briefly and she cocked her head to the side thoughtfully.

"Not quite. We play it mainly because we have no choice. If you don't, you die."

I stared at her, aghast.

"Seriously?", I asked, flabbergasted. "How?"

She held her hand to her head like a gun.

"A laser shoots through your head when the time is up. With the cards, however, you earn what is called a visa. If the visa ends without you taking part in a new game, you are hit by the laser. The number on the cards corresponds to the number of visa days you have earned."

My brain was trying to process all this information and gradually it seemed to dawn what this meant for me.

"So that means...I have four days to participate in such a sick game again?", I tried to summarise my thoughts.

She nodded.

"Correct."

♡

The images of last night still haunted me as Ann disappeared from the room for the second time. Surviving a game had been bad enough, but how on earth would I manage to go through something like that again? And would I have to kill more people to do it?

When I landed in this world, I thought I might finally be free. I had escaped from the hospital and since then I had managed without all the equipment and medication that I was usually dependent on. I could even run without feeling the usual shortness of breath and I hadn't had any heart palpitations since I'd been here. In fact, I had not felt so alive for a long time. By now I was sure it had something to do with this strange place. From what Ann had told me, we seemed to be here in a world she had called Borderland. But the border to what? Was I caught in an in-between state of life and death? Was this some kind of virtual reality? Was I a test subject for some obscure research? I didn't remember ever signing up for anything like that.

Whatever this place actually was. It seemed to be responsible for making me feel better. Wasn't that exactly what I had wanted? A new life. A new chance. But the price seemed high. My family was gone and the world I knew with them. Instead, every one had to play deadly games to be allowed to go on living. At least now I knew why they told me to be careful with what I wished for. It could come true, but in a completely different way than you expected.

My gaze fell on the open window, which blew in a light breeze. Unintelligible murmurs of voices carried over to me. Shortly afterwards I heard someone laughing. Then suddenly a loud happy music started. A familiar summer pop song boomed to my ears. I frowned. Somehow this exuberant sound didn't fit at all with what Ann had told me about this place.

However, it also made me curious.
I pulled myself awkwardly out of bed, careful to move so as not to unnecessarily endanger the stitching on my stomach, and placed my bare feet on the floor. I remembered taking off my shoes in the library. Presumably they were still there. Barefoot, I braved my way to the window and leaned over the sill to look out.

I was amazed when I saw a huge pool with clear blue water. At least a dozen young people in skimpy swimwear were splashing around in the water, clowning around and moving carefree to the music. All around, a few more people were milling about on loungers in the blazing sun, some of them even holding cocktails. Were they actually having a beach party in the middle of hell? Unbelievable. The people here were completely out of their minds.

"You shouldn't just get up. Your stitches haven't been healed yet."

I wheeled around, startled, and suddenly saw Ann standing behind me again. I hadn't heard her come in.

"I just heard music outside and wanted to know what was going on."

"Every day after dinner, the people start having wild parties here. They enjoy life while they can," she explained, setting down a tray of food next to my bed.

At the smell of the spicy miso soup, my stomach began to rebel painfully. The nausea was giving way to hunger by now. It must have been ages since my last meal.

I sat back on the bed and reached for the chopsticks next to the bowl.

"Thank you, Ann," I said and started eating. Ann sorted something into the medicine cabinets on the side. "How much longer do I have to stay here?"

"If everything is all right and your scar doesn't get infected, I can discharge you as early as tomorrow evening. But until then, you should take it easy." She handed me a blister of ibuprofen. "Take another one before you go to bed. For the pain."

I wrinkled my nose a little. I really had more than enough of pills. The mere thought of spending another night in a hospital room made me less than enthusiastic. But I also knew that it was necessary if I wanted to regain my strength quickly.

"Are you actually a doctor?" I asked with interest.

"No, I was a forensic scientist with the Japanese police."

"Wow. Don't you have more to do with dead people then?"

She sighed heavily.

"Normally, yes. But what should I do? The doctor we had before was killed in a game two days ago. I assisted her from time to time before, but I'm still not a medical professional. That's why it was so important for me to know who brought you here and stitched up your wound, you know? Whoever it was must have been a medical professional in a previous life. Someone like that would be a real asset to the Beach."

I bit down hard on my lower lip because I instantly felt guilty for not telling her the whole truth about what I knew. On the other hand, the young man had saved my life, so it would be pretty bad of me to tell her about it, even though he didn't seem to want me to.

"I take it you haven't worked in a medical field either?" she asked, addressing me.

I shook my head silently.

As a patient, however, I had superior qualifications.

But that was something I would rather not bring up here.

When I had finished eating, I put on the fresh clothes Ann had brought me. It consisted of an almost bellyless black top and a tiny pair of blue cloth trousers. There seemed to be no such thing as long clothes here.
But at least Ann had thought of shoes, even if they were just a pair of ugly slippers. Until the next game, I should definitely make sure I had sturdy shoes, otherwise the chances of me surviving were rather slim.

In the meantime, the music outside had become so deafeningly loud that the bass made the surroundings tremble. The only question was how to sleep with all this noise.

"Don't worry," Ann reassured me as if she had seen directly into my thoughts. "As soon as the sun goes down, most of those out there will head off to play. Then it will be a bit quieter, at least for the time being. It's only when people return from the games that my work here really starts. That's when there are often the most casualties. So it could still be a restless night for you."

I nodded in understanding.

"When do you have to play again?" I asked, stifling a yawn.

"Only tomorrow."

I let myself sink back into the mattress. Slowly I felt the exhaustion in my tired bones. I realised that I was still groggy and needed rest to regenerate. I closed my eyes and soon a pleasant heaviness settled on my eyelids....