My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that′s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
′Til then I walk alone

Relaxing, I closed my eyelids and took a deep breath to fill my lungs with fresh oxygen. The silence up here on the roof was soothing. Only here you are largely shielded from the people, the music... the entire world. Only here was it possible to clear my head and let my thoughts wander unhindered.

A light gust of wind ran through my hair and immediately the familiar smell of salty sea water lay in the air. I paused for a moment to let the warm rays of the sun work on my face. Then I opened my eyes again and closely observed the hustle and bustle of the people down below on the grounds, who from up here all just seemed like tiny ants - a stupidly manipulable ant colony that diligently collected cards and faithfully slaved after their leader without ever questioning the things he did.

The hope that they might eventually return home blinded them so much they didn't realize how inane the whole thing was in the first place and that the system was already tottering. Just one tiny butterfly strike could set off an untamable tornado and level the Beach to the ground once and for all. But before that could happen, I had to put my plan into action. But I was still missing one last crucial piece of the puzzle.

The executing hand.

Only with it I would reach my goal and get the cards that Hatter guarded like gold. All I needed was someone naïve enough to trust me without asking any questions. Preferably someone who wanted to escape this place as much as me or Kuina.

A noise snapped me out of my thoughts. Footsteps were approaching. I turned my head a little to the side and saw the young woman with the dreadlocks come up beside me.

As if she had heard me thinking.

"Say, have you been hanging around here all day?"

Her tone sounded a little reproachful as she worked her plastic stick with her teeth as usual.

"You weren't worried, were you?" I asked, amused.

She snorted snidely.

"The only thing I'm worried about is you getting sunburned up here."

"Can't happen to me any time soon. I've got sunscreen with SPF 50."

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"You didn't show your face all day today, not even at dinner. That's unusual even for you. Have you been wandering around town again looking for any components for your handicrafts?"

An amused grin slipped across my lips. Kuina knew me too well by now. Not well enough, however, to know the real reason for my absence from the Beach today.

"You know. Preparation is everything."

"I think you need to look at rule number two a little more sometimes."

I frowned questioningly.

"You mean I should instead party wild like the others, have sex orgies and get high to the point of unconsciousness?"

"Maybe not excactly like that. I'm talking more about chilling your life. And yeah, why not? You make it sound like having some fun is a bad thing."

"Not all people have the same definition of fun as you, Kuina. And if I let myself go like that, we'd probably be stuck here in this dump forever."

She sighed and her expression darkened a little.

"Why do I always feel so guilty around you?"

I didn't answer her rhetorical question, but just grinned to myself and let my gaze wander silently into the distance again. The red sun was gradually approaching the horizon, which meant that the games would soon begin again.

"Have you actually heard the breaking news?", Kuina broke the amicable silence.

"You mean the 4 of spades?", I asked, because I was pretty sure that's what it ultimately came down to. I knew I couldn't escape this topic in the long run, so I might as well bring it up myself.

"Yes, but I mean more the news about the woman who brought us this card. The woman who suddenly mysteriously showed up at our infirmary and supposedly doesn't even remember how she got there."

"Heard about that. Well, she's lucky to have had such a rare card with her."

"I showed her around the grounds today and familiarised her with everything. Ann asked me to."

I listened up, but still tried to look indifferent on the outside.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I would just like to know your opinion. Surely you already have some suspicions about who could have done it. I know you, Chishiya."

Yes, and that's why I'm sure you won't suspect me, Kuina. Neither will anyone else in the Beach. Because it's not something I'd usually do.

However, my fate was still hanging by a thread. If the newbie betrayed me, things might not look so bright for me. If all else failed, I still had the chance to prove my medical skills to convince them that I was indispensable for the Beach.

"So you think I know who would have an interest in saving a badly injured young woman instead of just hogging the playing card myself and taking the credit? Sorry to disappoint you there. I only know one thing: whoever did it must be a complete idiot," I said disapprovingly.

Who would have thought that I would ever call myself an idiot so lightly? But I was right. Unfortunately, it was long too late for regrets.

Kuina looked at me briefly with an irritated expression.

"I just thought maybe it could be someone who also has interests other than Beach. Someone who could be of use to us in our plan."

"Unlikely," I tried to brush off her suggestion. She eyed me a little suspiciously for a moment, but didn't contradict me.

"Whatever you say. I'm going to turn in now. It's been a long day and I have to play again tomorrow." I nodded curtly. "Speaking of which, what game were you in the other day?" she then asked casually.

"4 of hearts."

The lie came easily from my lips. I had already prepared myself for such a question. Only a few seconds later Kuina had disappeared, and with her the reddish sun behind the horizon. Dusk fell over Tokyo. The sounds from below gradually grew louder again. The Beach came to life and the roar of the people who usually gathered in the entrance hall at this time of day to await Hatter's evening speech reached its peak. I had no intention of mingling there, though. Not only because it was the same pointless drivel every day anyway, but also because I didn't want to run the risk of being recognised by her.

My gaze slid back up to the sky, where a dark blanket was gradually settling over the city. With the darkness, a few shining stars appeared. Only a short time later, the sky was covered with the little twinkling points of light. The sight of a starry night sky over the once light-polluted metropolis was still unusual. It was a sight that was hard to get enough of.

I gave a soft sigh of relief and then parted with the nocturnal backdrop to head back down.

♢

The next morning I was one of the first downstairs for breakfast. However, before I queued up at the food counter, I looked around the former hotel restaurant scrutinisingly. The young woman, however, was nowhere to be found.

Instead, I saw Ann sitting alone at one of the tables in the back. She was staring absently out of the window, adjusting her huge dark sunglasses. The food in front of her seemed almost untouched. She looked as if she'd had a sleepless night. Knowing her, she had been treating patients after her game.

I took a tray away, on which I was served a portion of rice, a small miso soup and a fruit salad, as usual. The food was strictly rationed, as it was not foreseeable how long we would have to hold out here in this world. In the meantime, however, they had at least started to grow some vegetables and fruit in a greenhouse on the Beach, but since there were only limited quantities of that too, it was reserved exclusively for the council members until now.

With the tray in my hands, I approached Ann's table and sat down on the seat opposite her without being asked. Ann looked over the rim of her sunglasses, a little bewildered.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with a disdainful undertone, as if I were just an annoying insect buzzing around in her face.

"Good morning to you too, Ann," I replied cynically. "Rough night?"

"Why do you care?"

"I just thought I'd try to make some conversation," I said innocently, reaching for the chopsticks.

"Since when are you interested in what other people do?" she asked bitterly, looking out of the window again.

Yes, since when have I been interested at all?

Probably since she was the one who had found the young woman whose life I had saved the other day in the infirmary.

But of course I couldn't tell her that, so I just shrugged my shoulders.

"We don't have to talk either," I said unconcernedly and picked up some rice with the chopsticks.

Ann's gaze slowly slid back to me and although I couldn't see her eyes, I could see it working in her head.

"I still wonder who could have brought that young woman here. It gives me no peace of mind. Someone here is hiding something from us," she finally said.

I nodded quietly.

"Probably a traitor."

"Yes, but what makes me wonder is the fact that the person would risk their own life to save a woman who has just arrived in Borderland and then make sure she is welcomed here with us by leaving the 4 of spades with her. Who would do such a thing and above all why?"

"I think you should rather ask someone else. As you have already rightly pointed out, I am quite uninterested in what other people do and for what reasons, nor do I understand their illogical emotional actions."

Did I just admit that my actions were driven by emotions?

Ann sighed heavily.

"I've got to find out who did it somehow, but obviously they were clever enough not to leave any fingerprints either."

"You fingerprinted?", I asked, trying to sound as surprised as possible. Inwardly, however, I grinned in victory. I knew Ann would try to catch me out that way, which was why I had wisely left no traces. Even through her dark glasses I could see that she was giving me a withering look. "I mean you're going out of your way to find that one. That merely surprised me."

"In case you forgot, we still desperately need someone with medical experience at Beach. That's the only reason I care."

"As soon as they found out who did it, Hatter would have them executed anyway."

"I'd make sure that didn't happen. The social benefits outweigh the treachery in this case."

I snorted softly.

"And you think Hatter feels the same way?", I asked with an amused undertone.

Ann did not smile.

"I hope so. If I keep sitting on this damn job alone, I'm going on strike. I'm a forensic scientist, not a casual doctor, so the people here can see how they treat their own wounds."

That's the right attitude.

"Is the young woman still in the infirmary too?", I asked, although I already knew the answer, but I wanted to steer the conversation inconspicuously in the right direction.

"No, discharged her yesterday. But she says she doesn't remember anything. I'm not sure I can trust her."

"Why would she lie?"

"Maybe because someone is making her."

"You mean she was forced?"

"I don't know. Possibly," she sighed. Then she stood up abruptly from her chair and reached for her tray of untouched food. "I'm done here."

I merely nodded and let her go. I poked thoughtfully at the fruit salad. So the young woman actually claimed not to remember who had brought her here. Was that the truth or a lie? If it was the truth, then I had nothing to fear. If it wasn't, then things looked quite different. Then I had to ask myself whether she had only lied because I had asked her to keep her mouth shut or whether she had done it for some other inexplicable reason. But what would make her trust a complete stranger?

♢

I spent the rest of the day in my cool room, working on a few craft projects that were still unfinished on my living room table. And I had quite a few of them by now. In one of the rubbish bins in town, I had found a few empty cans that would be perfect to turn into a few hand grenades.

The only thing I was still missing was an explosive. But even there I already had an idea. The drug Nitropenta, or colloquially known as PETN, was usually prescribed as a vasodilator, mainly for angina pectoris, chest tightness caused by coronary heart disease. Few people knew, however, that Nitropenta had also been used as an explosive since the First World War. However, it was not so easy to get hold of the drug. The Beach had looted almost all the pharmacies and hospitals in the vicinity in order to set up the infirmary here on the spot. Of course, I could have tried to steal it.

Since almost all the rooms in the Beach were freely accessible, it would have been easy to get hold of them, but most of the more valuable medicines were kept in a special medicine safe to which only Ann had access at the moment. I had been incredibly lucky to find at least a small supply of anaesthetic to ease the young woman's pain. Perhaps it would be worth considering identifying myself as a medical student in order to work for the Beach. That way I could get to the safe without risk of being caught. If only there wasn't the unfortunate fact that I was a traitor.

I skipped lunch and instead ate some butter biscuits that I had snatched from a konbini on the way yesterday. As evening approached, however, I could no longer fight the gnawing hunger, so I decided to pay the restaurant another visit before the kitchen closed for the day. As a precaution, I let my gaze glide over the tables again. It was very clear and the young woman with the curly hair was not in sight. This time I chose a table all to myself right next to the large window front. From there, I had a good view of a small white pavilion, around which a small garden with exotic plants and a lush herb garden extended. In between there were tables and seats where a few young people sat talking animatedly to each other, playing cards, and meanwhile having a few drinks. I let my gaze wander in detail over the heads of the people who were out and about in the park, involuntarily searching for the long dark curls.

Sooner or later I would run into her here anyway, so why was I obsessively trying to avoid her?

I shook my head at myself and then turned back to my food. The restaurant, however, began to empty in no time and the people outside in the park also finished their social round and made their way inside. So it was that time again. Our sect leader would address his annual evening speech to his slavish subjects, who would fanatically cheer him on, eager to collect cards for him or, alternatively, to go to their deaths. I would probably have no choice but to show my face there at least briefly. Missing once was no big deal, but as a councillor I couldn't make myself scarce all the time without it being considered suspicious.

I put my tray in the return trolley and then made my way to the lobby, but not before pulling my hood down low on my face, an outward statement that told others wordlessly that I didn't want to be talked at stupidly from the side by anyone. And in most cases it worked.

As always, I looked for a place away from the roaring crowd and leaned against the cold stone wall. My hands unconsciously disappeared into my jacket pockets as I looked up at the high gallery. It was still empty.

"Hatter! Hatter! Hatter!"

The shouts of the people became increasingly louder and more impatient, almost as if they were obsessed groupies waiting for a famous rock star to finally take the stage.

Did they even realise that they were being wantonly brainwashed?

The Beach was living proof that people would do almost anything if you made it convincing enough. Most people could easily be manipulated. Theoretically, therefore, it shouldn't be too difficult to find a suitable victim for my plan.

Thunderous applause echoed on the walls of the lobby as the head of the Beach presented himself to his euphoric audience with his arms stretched out wide. Behind him stood Mira, Kuzuryu and Aguni, forming the core of the executive. Hatter put on his perfectly rehearsed smile and then let his fans celebrate him for a full minute. Secretly, I was waiting for the day when he would simply throw himself down into the crowd and be carried away on the hands of his people.

He made a theatrical hand gesture and suddenly everything fell silent.

"Welcome, my dears," he said, beaming with joy. "Day number 27 at the Beach has arrived. This community has existed for almost a month now and slowly our work is bearing fruit. We are only a few cards short of completing the deck. Two days ago, it was the 4 of spades that finally made its way into our collection. Now we are only missing the 4 of diamonds, the 4 of clubs, the 7 of hearts and the 10 of hearts. Only 4 more cards until the first one can return home. I owe a great debt of gratitude to all those who have made it this far. It is only through each and every one of you that I will be able to travel home very soon and, of course, to all those who come after..."

I rolled my eyes. As expected, it was almost the same speech as every night. My brain shut down and my gaze instead wandered through the crowd, lingering on a couple of familiar dreadlocks. Kuina. She was standing in the middle of the dense crowd and a few dark curls flashed out beside her. I automatically lowered my head without losing sight of her. She turned sideways for a moment to whisper something to Kuina. Kuina laughed. Then their attention turned back to Hatter, who was slowly coming to the end of his turgid speech.

When he finally said goodbye a few cheers later and wished the people good luck for their games today, I could already see the first people streaming out of the lobby again. Bit by bit, the lobby began to empty, while I still remained motionless against the wall and looked over at Kuina and her companion. The latter unexpectedly turned her head in my direction. Her dark eyes immediately widened as our gazes met and for some reason my heart tightened especially painfully at that moment. She didn't have to say anything. Her gaze spoke volumes and there were a thousand burning questions on her lips.

After all, I knew now that she remembered me very well.

But before she could get any ideas, I pushed myself off the wall and walked away although it had long been clear to me that I was only avoiding the inevitable.