(This is about suicide, so be warned!)

Skinny pretty girls in bathtubs choking on rose water happens oh-so often.

She reads "Le soleil s'est levé trop fort dans ses yeux perdus. C'est Dieu, je pense, le soleil levant et la lumière sont trop brillants et ses yeux perdent mais ils ne sont pas perdus." as the bright fluorescent lights make headaches pound at the back of her skull. Whatever was left of her strength was dedicated to a slash on each dammed wrist

The bathtub that was once scented sweet now smells like teenage waterboarded dreams

A buzz of curiosity had rushed through her pruned skin and for the first time, it felt okay

She felt for perhaps the last time that tomorrow would give her a smile

Maybe tomorrow she can hold hands with a calloused lover

Perhaps her green tea will be brewed in a whole new manner of sweetness

Maybe she can kiss the boy she likes without him coughing because she wears too much makeup.

The smallest probability of a warm sensation in her stomach that reminds her of better days where the impossible was possible and the inevitable never happened could take her intestines and entangle them together

Her thoughts could possibly be entwined with a happy feeling to help her wander the brick roads that lead to a new generation of degenerate pageant girls

Her shortness of breath at that moment could have been caused by blood loss or the beginnings of a seizure

The anti-anxiety meds were down her pretty little throat in bunches

And she didn't mind it was dry swallowing because the slow release of endorphins was enough

It was enough until it wasn't

Spinning, swirling, dizziness, aching, shakiness

Her hands were afloat in a tidal wave of a pool

Mind over matter she thought, knowing that her degenerate mush of a mind can't overcome milligram after milligram of pills of variations- not that it mattered though because whatever pill did the trick of making a lesser soul disappear such as hers was a savior

A shame that she quit in the midst of a seemingly good run but the mind is a labyrinth of repressed emotion and triggering memories with a side dish of a smile hidden behind matted hair of a beast

The screaming pleads of a young woman are echoing in an empty cavern of the mind occupy her thoughts during her studies