"Just forget about it."

He couldn't stop hearing those words in his head. Repeating them to himself. Picturing Yoongi's troubled face as he had uttered them. And he couldn't stop crying, hating how badly he didn't want to forget about it, and how much the thought of Yoongi wanting to pretend it didn't happen hurt.

Frankly, Jimin was tired of crying over him. But that wasn't something he could just choose to stop doing. He had accepted it by now, just how deeply in love with Yoongi he had fallen.

Yoongi had been the one to kiss him. In denial, for a moment, Jimin considered it had been because Yoongi had wanted to kiss him. But the boy's panicked explanation to clarify his reasons struck Jimin like a brick to the head. It seemed Yoongi hadn't wanted to at all. He was only trying to save them from getting caught, and now he wanted to act like it had only been in their imaginations.

"I hate you, Min Yoongi..."

It took a while for Jimin to remember he was still wearing Yoongi's clothes. At one point he looked down at himself, catching sight of the vibrant rainbow sweater which his friend had seemed quite happy he tried on. Jimin slipped out of it and shoved it under the bed along with the rest of Yoongi's things.

Which was a lot of things.

It was going to be a pain in the neck to return all these.

Sighing, he made his way over to where he had left his clothes and put them back on, then collapsed onto his bed. It was around 11 p.m. by this point. He had spent more time crying than he thought.

Coincidentally, moments after Jimin had laid down, he heard his phone ring. He groaned, already expecting it to be Yoongi, and prepared to immediately end the call. But upon checking the caller ID he realized his mistake.

"Why's Joon calling me? He's at a party..." He reluctantly answered the call.

"...Jimin?"

Jimin grunted in response, sniffling.

"Uh...you okay?"

"No," Jimin replied in honesty. "But I don't wanna talk about it right now."

"Oh...okay...will you talk about it later?"

"I don't know. I'll think about it." He sniffled again, then heaved a sigh. "What did you call me for?"

Namjoon seemed to quickly snap back into focus. "Oh. Right. Uh..." There was a pause. "Okay, so the thing is, I never in my life thought I'd hear myself say this, but I think I might be bisexual."

Silence. Jimin, too tired to deal with his friend's jokes, remained silent for a few moments. "Ha-ha, very funny," he said, rolling his eyes. "Did you call me to just to waste my time? If that's the case then I'm hanging up on you now-"

"No, I'm not kidding!" Namjoon blurted, in a somewhat hush voice. "This is legit, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda freaking out right now and you're the only person I can ask for help. What do you usually do to hide that you're nervous around a boy? Gosh, I can't believe those words just fell out of my mouth..."

More stunned silence. "...okay, Namjoon, what the actual."

"Look, Chim, I don't know, either. I didn't ask for him to make my heart beat like this, I'm literally panicking right now, this is so weird. To think some boy could do this to me...incredible. He's incredible."

It was odd. Jimin could typically sense when Namjoon was trying to prank him, because his tone of voice made it obvious. But right now Jimin sensed honesty. And that, to him, was absolutely bizarre.

"You swear you're not messing with me right now?"

"I swear. I wouldn't joke about this. I think I'm in love with a boy."

Just then Jimin heard a piercing voice interrupt from somewhere on the other end of the phone.

"Naaaaaaamjooooon!!! We're gonna play musical chairs now, are you almost done erasing Jin's kiss mark??!"

"I gotta go, Chim. We're playing musical chairs. We'll continue this later."

"...did someone just say 'Jin's kiss mark'??"

"Nope. You're hearing things. Bye, Chim!"

"Bi, Namjoon."

Namjoon hung up. Jimin sighed again and set down his phone.

Then he just sat up in bed for a minute.

"...what the heck is happening at that party?" He thought aloud. He furrowed his brow, replaying Namjoon's words in his head—and subconsciously, he was really thankful for them, because they acted as a pretty good distraction from the whole issue with Yoongi.

Namjoon. Kim Namjoon, Jimin's best friend, who had dated a couple girls in his time, was now, presumably, in his own words, "in love with a boy." And just like Namjoon had said, he definitely did seem genuine, and was genuinely panicking. Jimin didn't doubt it. For someone like Namjoon to suddenly come upon a realization like this...must have been pretty shocking.

What concerned Jimin was what Namjoon planned to do about it.

Especially, assuming that this boy his friend was referring to was Seokjin—Jimin, of course, made this assumption based on what he'd heard that voice call out. And Seokjin was straight.

Or maybe it wasn't Seokjin. Maybe Namjoon met some other gay or bisexual boy at the party. That would be more convenient. For his friend's sake, Jimin hoped that was the case.

He picked up his phone again. Eager to find out more as well as find things to distract him from his own problems, Jimin texted his friend.

me:
hey, why don't you just come back
to my house after the party and sleep over
we could talk about your gay awakening
or bisexual awakening or whatever u wanna call it

Juneberry:
for real?
you'd want to?
ohemgee wait till i tell you all about
how freaking amazing jin is
ok i really gotta go we're about to start musical chairs adios amigo

So it was Seokjin.

me:
adios

Jimin stared in silence at his friend's messages for a while.

"...kinda wishing I had chosen to go after all..."

He said this aloud, but hearing his own words, and thinking back to everything that had just happened that evening struck him hard. Just...everything. But, needless to say, the kiss most of all. And what he needed right now was to not think about it.

But he thought about it. About Yoongi pulling him close in that small closet, about the clumsy kiss that turned into more kisses, Yoongi's warm lips, the gentle way he had held Jimin's hand through it all...

Even though it had been rushed in the start, it morphed into something much softer...softer, sweeter...but it didn't feel that way now. It felt forced. Ingenuine. Just an act.

Jimin face-planted his pillow, holding back tears again. Namjoon better not be at that party much longer...

*

It was a little after midnight when Namjoon arrived at Jimin's house. By this point, Jimin's parents and sister were home, but none of them found it odd when Namjoon stopped by. He was practically part of the family.

So that being said, Eunjin, who had answered the door, let the boy inside and told him her brother was probably in his room. Namjoon climbed the stairs and entered Jimin's room, only to find the boy lying with his face buried in his pillow, leg dangling off the side of the bed. Being the good friend that he was, naturally, Namjoon lifted  Jimin's leg and chucked it back onto the bed.

Jimin groaned and flipped himself back over.

"It's late."

"Not that late," Namjoon countered. "If it were a normal high school party it could have gone into the single digit a.m.'s, but Seokjin wanted us out of there before 1:00."

Jimin made a grunt of acknowledgement.

"...are you tired, Chim?"

"Tired of something, but I'm not tired," he said with a sigh, sitting upright in bed. "Are you tired?"

"Not at all. Besides, I've been looking forward to talking to you about Seokjin."

He had a smile on his face. An innocent, dreamy smile, something Jimin had never seen on Namjoon before. And Namjoon smiled plenty, but there was something about this one...

Jimin thought it a nice change. Although he was still puzzled and a bit skeptical about the whole thing, deep down he knew his friend wouldn't lie about this. And the boy wasn't a good enough actor to fake being in love.

"So, Seokjin," said Jimin.

"Seokjin," Namjoon repeated. His smile grew a bit. "He's something else."

"I'd imagine he would have to be, for a 'straight' boy to fall for him."

"That's true," the blond admitted, offering a quiet laugh as he situated himself on the bed to sit in front of Jimin. "But really though..."

His gaze wandered, mind clearly wandering as well, and Jimin didn't want to interrupt his friend's thoughts, so he just waited.

"...he's...gorgeous."

"Gorgeous?" Jimin raised an eyebrow. "You hardly even use that word to describe girls..."

"I'm just being honest," Namjoon chuckled. "When I saw him up close, I realized. He's gorgeous. His hair, his eyes, his nose, his lips. And he's really nice, and thoughtful. And absolutely hilarious. I didn't think I'd have as much fun as I did at that party."

He breathed a quiet breath, seeming to be beside himself with this little crush of his. Jimin could only stare at him for the time being. He didn't really know what to say, and he felt Namjoon wasn't done talking, so he kept quiet.

"...I know you find it weird."

"I don't find it weird," Jimin countered immediately. "I just find it a little odd."

"That's the same thing-"

"It's not. Cut me a break, Joon, I've known you for years as being straight and sure of it, and now you come to me with this epiphany..."

Namjoon, still smiling, gave a slow nod of understanding. "Yeah, you're right," he said. "To he honest with you I don't even get it entirely. But I know what I'm feeling isn't just a passing infatuation. Because I've had those before, and this isn't that at all. Kim Seokjin stole my heart in a single night..."

The look in Namjoon's eyes was something Jimin had never seen before. His friend had had girlfriends, sure, but if Jimin were honest he would say never really felt Namjoon truly loved them. But now here the boy was, in a daze as memories of the past few hours circled in his head like a delicate, pleasant whirlwind.

And Jimin loved that. He cared about Namjoon, and he was glad that his friend had found someone he seemed to have a genuine interest in.

But since Jimin cared about Namjoon he also didn't want the boy to fall into a ditch he couldn't get out of.

"Joon."

"Mm."

"...you know Seokjin's straight, don't you?"

Something flashed across Namjoon's eye—not a realization, but a spark of remembrance. He had known already. Yet still had he allowed himself to indulge in the bliss of his feelings.

"He is," the boy said. "But, I don't care. I still want him. And so I'll try, as much as I'm able, to make him want me, too."

His voice, although rooted in determination, cleaved regrettably to a sense of doubt, the doubt which was linked to that realization. Yes, Seokjin was straight.

But Namjoon was a man of his word. He would try as much as he was able.

"So, can I ask now?"

Jimin looked at him. "What?"

"Why were you crying, Jimin?"

A jolt in his chest. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Don't say that."

"Why can't I say that?"

"I wanna know why you were crying."

He should have known Namjoon would bring it up. And though he could be stubborn and push his friend away again, just as he had done before, and many times in the past, a part of Jimin didn't want to do that right now. So he sighed.

"Yoongi kissed me but he regrets it."

Brief, tearful.

Namjoon could hear Jimin's pain. He didn't ask the story, but the story wasn't relevant. At least he didn't think it was. But the thing is, it was relevant, namely to why Yoongi had kissed Jimin in the first place. But Jimin misinterpreted things, having allowed his own doubts and regret about his feelings for Yoongi to take over and turn the situation into something negative.

Not knowing this, Namjoon pulled his friend in for a hug to comfort him.

"Do you love him?"

"I don't want to," Jimin sobbed.

"That wasn't the question. Do you love Yoongi, Chim?"

"It hurts to."

"So be it. We'll hurt together."