It felt like a heart attack, followed by immediate death.

Truly, those words made Jimin fear for his life.

To think this quiet boy, who had only ever spoken to Jimin once before, would threaten him like this. Would even have the capability of making Jimin feel this terrified.

Jeon Jungkook. He was an enigma.

That day, Jimin couldn't bring himself to say anything to Jungkook. Not a counter-threat, or, more sensibly, a clarification of why he had been hanging out with Yoongi in the first place.

But he couldn't. Because Jimin was scared that he would be ignored, that any little thing he said would be used against him in the worst way. And deep down he really thought he deserved it. For the way he behaved, he didn't deserve to justify himself, because he hurt and bullied an innocent boy, and there was no acceptable excuse for that.

Jungkook was that reminder. That cruel, harrowing reminder, Jimin's fairly recent past which had so quickly caught up to him.

And this, he told himself, was why he never should have allowed himself to fall for Yoongi.

Well, if only that had been a choice...

Because now he couldn't talk to him. He couldn't hang out with him. Or even text or call him. Rather, he was too scared to. Jungkook was Yoongi's close friend; it was quite possible, if Jungkook were serious enough about this (and Jimin felt strongly that he was), the boy might at some point get a hold of Yoongi's phone just to make sure Jimin hadn't been secretly talking with him.

Whether or not that was likely, Jimin just couldn't afford to take that risk.

There was so much more he had to lose.

And besides, again, he had known and accepted early on that he shouldn't have and didn't deserve to have fallen in love with Yoongi. So this was his punishment.

Jungkook, the stopping force.

Jimin got home from school that day thirty minutes later than he normally did. He didn't do it on purpose—or maybe, he did, just subconsciously. He was a little hesitant to be home right now. Without a doubt, if his family were to see his expression, they would ask him what was wrong, and Jimin could never tell them.

It hurt. The fear, along with knowing he wouldn't be able to talk to or be with Yoongi anymore because of his situation.

Just when it seemed things were going well, and this happened.

But he couldn't bring himself to hate Jungkook. Despite barely knowing the kid, what he did know was that Yoongi and him were good friends.

And for what Jimin had done to Yoongi, he wouldn't have blamed anyone who wanted to get revenge.

Hoseok and Seokjin, too. Oddly enough Jimin doubted they knew yet about him being gay, but he was still wary of them. Just in case. And being Yoongi's friends, they were more observant of him.

All the more reason to cut off ties with Yoongi completely.

pastel boy:
let me know when u have time
we can hang out again :)

Would you like to block this number?
Yes No

Number blocked.

It was for his own safety.

He told himself this, and repeatedly reminded himself of the consequences that awaited him should he ignore Jungkook's warning, yet, the ache was something Jimin couldn't ignore.

He went to bed without eating or showering. Told his family he just felt under the weather. And technically, that wasn't a lie. Because he did feel terrible. Sick to his stomach. Enough to bring him to tears.

Realizing he was back to square one.

He cried himself softly to sleep.

▫️▫️▫️

He didn't know why he bothered going to school the next day. But at six a.m. the next morning Jimin was up and getting dressed and ready to go.

He didn't even bother stopping by the Golden Spoon. In fact, in fear he would run into Yoongi there, Jimin took a new route. He still got to school on time. Of course Namjoon was a bit curious as to why Jimin hadn't met up with him like he usually did.

Juneberry:
did u get up late or smth lol
i got myself some coffee
kinda expected you'd be here so
i waited a couple minutes before leaving
u good chim?

me:
yeah
i'm at school now

Juneberry:
hm
k wtvr
talk to u later

me:
right

Namjoon was another thing. Another potential issue. And Jimin already dreaded the interrogation he knew his friend would have for him concerning this abrupt reversal in his behavior.

He could blame it on Yoongi. Subtly. Maybe say Yoongi overstepped his bounds again, this time in an unforgivable way and Jimin no longer wanted to talk to him. But he wondered if Namjoon would believe that.

Lunch period. At their usual table, Jimin and Namjoon sat eating their lunches, quietly at first. But Jimin wasn't really eating, rather he simply poked at his food since he felt too uneasy to eat, and Namjoon took notice of this.

"Something happened."

Oh, just give me a break, please. "Nothing happened."

"What's with you, then?"

"Tired."

"There's more than that."

"Please leave me alone."

"Don't want to."

"Fine. Don't care."

They both did, though. Especially Namjoon, who knew whenever Jimin said "leave me alone" that something was legitimately wrong. Unfortunately it was also hard to get info out of him once these words were used. So Namjoon sighed and reluctantly went back to eating.

"If you change your mind and wanna talk, you know I'm here."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Oh and by the way, I noticed you got your jacket back. Happy for you."

And thus was triggered the memory of yesterday; Yoongi returning the jacket which Jimin had left at his house, followed by Jungkook's threat.

A knot in his stomach, Jimin turned a subtle gaze towards Yoongi's table. Yoongi was in the middle of having a conversation with Hoseok. Seokjin was listening and making several comments. Jungkook sat quietly.

He appeared to be acting the same. They all did. Which made Jimin both unnerved and relieved at the same time.

"Chimchim, did you wanna go sit with them?"

"Absolutely not," Jimin blurted. His voice cracked. He cleared his throat. But Namjoon had heard it.

"If you want to sit with them, Jimin, I'll go with you if that would make it easier."

"That's..." Jimin bit his tongue. "That's not it, I don't care about sitting with them."

"Then why do you look like you're about to cry?"

It's because he was. Standing up abruptly from his seat, Jimin left the cafeteria and headed right for the bathrooms, then locked himself in a stall.

He didn't want to sit with Yoongi and his friends. He didn't want to be able to enjoy that friendly atmosphere and not feel like those other three boys despised his very being. No, he didn't want that innocent freedom at all.

L i e s , l i e s , l i e s , l i e s . Y o u d o  w a n t 
t h a t .

But he had to suppress it. If he were going to successfully return to that state of mind he'd possessed before, Jimin had to train himself to bury his true thoughts and feelings. Even if it killed him.

For a moment Jimin held his face in his hands.

And he let himself cry.

Perhaps, he thought, he would take this one day to express the pain. Just to get it all out. Then going forward it would be a little easier, hopefully, to ignore it.

Hopefully.

But it didn't work.

The next day at school, Yoongi tried approaching Jimin, even though he'd made a point beforehand not to in case people would get suspicious. But he didn't care now, because days had passed and Jimin hadn't replied to his texts, and moreover he learned after an attempted call that Jimin had blocked his number.

That was when he really knew something was up. It happened out of nowhere. If it were an accident, he was sure Jimin would have unblocked it after realizing what he'd done. But no, that didn't happen. And so Yoongi came to see he was being avoided. Deliberately avoided.

"Jimin? Are you alright?"

He was just trying to get books from his locker. Yoongi snuck up behind him. Seemingly having materialized out of thin air, he startled Jimin, to say the very least.

But Jimin said nothing to him. He closed his locker and stormed off before Yoongi could get another word out.

Thankfully the mint-haired boy had enough sense in him not to chase after Jimin. Though he certainly wanted to, he didn't want to draw too much attention so he refrained from taking another step in Jimin's direction.

However under no circumstance would he let this be the end of it. He'd find out what Jimin's problem was if he had to pull off every mask that boy had put on again.