Jimin found himself struggling with little energy that next Monday.

His stumbled upon Yoongi waiting in a small line at The Golden Spoon, and, feeling an unpleasant weight in his chest, Jimin decided to go the morning without his favorite coffee. And perhaps that was a mistake, as the boy could have used any little boost he could get his hands on.

Namjoon caught up to him on his way to school.

"You look awful," he said concernedly.

"Thanks," Jimin replied, not bothering to look at his friend. Namjoon sighed.

"Really? 'Thanks'? That's all you're giving me?"

To Namjoon's surprise, that really was all he got. Jimin didn't bite back with some sassy retort. In fact he didn't speak or react at all. He just continued to walk, head facing down, mind wandering as he tried not to allow the pastel boy to cross his mind. It wasn't easy. At all. And he realized it, and that realization made him even more upset, and he began to slouch even more than he already was.

By the time he got to school Jimin was ready to sink down into his chair and fall asleep. Maybe a good half-hour nap would help him to feel better, he thought, and so that's what he tried to do. And for some time, Jimin was able to sit peacefully at his desk with little outside noises or distractions to disturb his rest. But then Yoongi entered the classroom, behind whom followed the somewhat reserved Jungkook, who also happened to be in their class. Jimin wanted to ignore them. This once, he wanted to ignore Yoongi's presence, even if it meant passing up on an opportunity to trip the boy when his guard was down. Jimin just...didn't want to see or think about him.

"Guk, I told you it's fine. I really don't mind."

"I know, I just feel like I've been bugging you a lot lately..."

Jimin squeezed his eyes shut as the two passed by his desk.

"Bugging me?? You're like my favorite human being, Jungkook. You could never bug me."

"I am not." Jungkook laughed. "What about Hoseok?"

"Hobi's a different kind of favorite."

"You can't have different kinds of favorites."

"Yes, you can. Hobi's my favorite redhead. You're my favorite human being."

"Is Hoseok not a human being?"

"I don't actually know. But anyway, you're cuter. Don't tell him I said that, though. He'll fight me."

Jimin didn't notice as his own eyes opened and shifted subtly towards where Yoongi and Jungkook were sitting. And he just stared at them with absentminded concentration, ears listening keenly to the friendly words exchanged in moderate tones.

"I stopped by that one coffeeshop I told you about," Yoongi said, tugging at his rainbow wool sweater paws to cover more of his hands. "The Golden Spoon. They're really good, you should try them sometime. Oh, and it's also a plus there's this cute barista who works a lot on the weekends and sometimes after school. He's super friendly. Really likes Spirited Away, too."

"Oh my gosh, I love Spirited Away..."

"I know. Maybe I should introduce you to him some time. Nudge, nudge."

"D-...don't say 'nudge, nudge'..."

"Sorry, Guk, you know I'm just messin' with ya. Oh, completely unrelated to that, my hot neighbor walked outside without a shirt yesterday."

"Wh—it's the beginning of December-"

"I know. What a man. His name's also Hoseok, did I mention?"

"You did not."

"Well, now I did."

It was as though he didn't care if anyone heard him. The pastel boy spoke in such a casual manner and his friend listened to him openly, seeming used to it and the boy's overall demeanor, appearance, and...well, everything. Because Yoongi, for as long as Jimin could remember, never seemed to care even the slightest of what anyone thought of him. He was in his own little world, unbothered, content, quiet, but strongly expressive in his own way.

"...your hair's extra soft today. New shampoo?"

Jimin tensed as he suddenly registered Yoongi was now running his fingers through Jungkook's chocolate brown locks. Insides shrinking in on themselves, Jimin shut his eyes and drew in a quick breath.

How can he just do these things so openly?? I hate it. I hate it. I hate him.

It clawed at his chest. Against his will, Jimin's eyes opened again and shifted towards Yoongi, who was now pinching Jungkook's cheek as he smiled.

"Yoongi, I asked if you could stop doing that..."

"What? Why? You're cute and you remind me of my little brother."

"You don't have a little brother..."

"Be my little brother, then."

"Yoongi..."

"Call me 'hyung'."

Struggling to hold in a burst of laughter, Jungkook gently hit Yoongi's head, pushing his friend away as he turned to face forward in his seat. The teacher had just entered the room.

Jimin laid his head on his desk.

I feel sick.

***

"Yo, Chim...you don't look so good, buddy. I mean, even worse than you did this morning."

It had sunk and settled deep in his stomach by now, that awful, sickening feeling that legitimately made him feel like he could vomit. Namjoon wasn't the first to notice, or say something about it, either. A couple students had approached Jimin, curiously asking him why he looked as though he had just watched someone run over a puppy. To which Jimin responded 'piss off' each time. Except he couldn't say that to Namjoon. Well, he could. But it wouldn't work. It was lunch time now and the two were at their usual spot in the cafeteria. Namjoon stared at his friend from across the table. He tapped his chopsticks against Jimin's hand, attempting to get the boy's attention, but failing miserably as Jimin's attention was subconsciously fixed on something else.

Namjoon followed his friend's line of vision towards the source--even though, deep down, he already knew.

Jimin was looking directly at the pastel boy, who was in the process of outstretching his arms, smiling softly and tugging at the sleeves of his vibrant rainbow sweater. Namjoon couldn't make out what they were saying, but it was obvious Yoongi and his friends were talking about that sweater.

He turned his gaze back to Jimin for a moment--dejected, sickly-looking Jimin who didn't so much as bat an eye at Namjoon. And Namjoon knew that he wouldn't, not right now, so without another moment to think it over he scooped up his boxed lunch and chopsticks and boldly approached the table where the pastel boy and his friends were peacefully enjoying themselves.

"Hey, terribly sorry to interrupt you," Namjoon began, putting on his most charming smile, "I'm Namjoon. My friend won't speak to me right now and I'm awfully lonely, so would you mind if I join you fine gentlemen?"

There was a pause following Namjoon's words, and in that small stretch of silence, Seokjin leaned forward, took one look at Namjoon, then flinched. His eyes shot open and his hand propelled itself forward to vigorously tap Yoongi on the shoulder.

"No, say no!" He whispered, almost in a panic. "This guy is with Jimin!"

And Hoseok soon joined in the panicky whispering, which struck Namjoon as odd, because why didn't they just tell Namjoon that themselves? No, instead they awaited the response of their mint-haired friend whose countenance had been wiped clean of its smile, restoring itself to blank like a clean state. Then, disregarding his friends' warnings, Yoongi said with a shrug, "Sure, that's fine."

And so Namjoon politely thanked him and sat down.

It was only then, just as Namjoon had lowered himself to the seat beside Hoseok, opposite to Yoongi, that Jimin's focus snapped. And he suddenly realized that his friend wasn't sitting at the same table as him anymore, but rather had crossed over into forbidden territory and was now engaging in conversation with the enemies. Jimin felt his face go pale. He had zoned out, for too long it seemed, so he didn't really know for sure if Namjoon had stated why he had gone over there, but the fact that the boy had taken his lunch with him and had so quickly made himself comfortable certainly wasn't reassuring.

And so abruptly struck a disgusting thought in Jimin's mind, the thought that, perhaps, having become fed up with being ignored and treated rudely by Jimin, Namjoon had decided to teach him a lesson by outing him.

It was extremely unlikely. Jimin knew that deep down, but at the moment his fear gripped him like a cold, clammy hand and wouldn't let go. So with no thoughts going into the execution of his actions, Jimin rose to his feet and stormed over to the table where his friend sat idly, happily.

Namjoon raised his head to meet Jimin's livid gaze.

"Ah, hello, Chim Chim," he greeted, smiling widely, "I was just telling these fine gentlemen alllll about you."

It was a devilish, teasing smile. Jimin's heart dropped as Hoseok snickered.

"Chim Chim?"

Ignore him. Just ignore him. "You better not have," he hissed. He tried to remain calm, he really did. But he sensed a quivering in his own voice, and he could feel sweat threatening to roll down his face.

Seokjin's voice chimed from the other side of Hoseok, "Why do you say that, huh? Got something to hide?"

Relax. Just be calm. "Yeah, right." Scoffing, Jimin fired a stern glare at each individual sitting at the table, one by one, but when he got to the pastel boy, the pit in his stomach deepened enough to make standing still unbearable. So Jimin left in fit of anger.

Hoseok made a face at the sight. "What's his deal?"

"Oh, he's just feeling under the weather, that's all," Namjoon replied.

Yoongi silently picked at his food.

The end of the day came along, quickly for some, but for Jimin it couldn't have gone any slower. And it was excruciating, because with every second that went by Jimin felt his chest becoming more and more constrained, and it was a horrible, horrible and sickening feeling. His eyes burned as the final dismissal bell sounded. And he made not the slightest hesitation to scoop up his school bag and leave the building, fearing that if he didn't get out of people's line of sight immediately, they might see him cry.

Fortunately the tears held for a short while. But barely.

He hid himself. Not extremely well, but school hours were over now, and few people stayed behind, especially outdoors, so Jimin didn't think where he chose to hide would be an issue. He collapsed on the grass right outside the gymnasium.

He didn't want to stay long. But he just needed to breathe. And cry. And he did. The moment he was on the ground, the compression in his chest caused his tears to spill out and over his eyelids. Soft whimpers escaped his mouth though he did his best to subdue them.

Things were quiet for a while and Jimin almost forgot where he was. His ears, clogged by loud thoughts, failed to alert him in time of approaching footsteps.

Of all the luck in the world, Jimin had the worst.

Even if he wanted to, he couldn't have camouflaged that he had been crying--not believably, anyway. But he tried, just for a moment, when he first lifted his head and saw the pastel boy standing several feet away. Jimin hastily wiped off the moisture on his cheeks, but more soon replaced it. And Jimin wasn't stupid. He knew it was hopeless. At this point, Yoongi had seen what he needed to see.

"...I know you're gay, Jimin. Your secret's safe with me."

It struck Jimin's chest and just about winded him, and in utter devastation and puzzlement he lifted his head, gaze of borderline horror rising to dig into Yoongi's own. He had sounded so confident. Why did he sound so confident???

"I'm not gay." Jimin could feel his whole body shaking now. The fact that it was quite cold out today didn't help, either. "What's wrong with you??"

Yoongi paused for a moment, turned his head, and sighed. Then he spoke in a soft whisper, "What do you have to lose from telling me?"

Jimin's eyes stung as he blinked away a tear. "You could out me, that's what."

"So you're admitting it now?"

"Wh-"

It was such an immediate, sweeping, overwhelming sensation of defeat, and in the silence that followed his attempt at countering the pastel boy, Jimin began to cry again. He covered his face with his hands, succumbing to the pain, the dread, that came along with such a distressing realization.

"Oh, please just leave me alone," Jimin sobbed in unmasked desperation. "If you want to get back at me can it wait?? You can pants me in front of the entire school or trip me in the hallway so that I face-plant so hard I break my nose or something, just not this, and not now, please."

Another pause. "You really think I'd tell people? Or even try to spread a rumor?"

Jimin sniffed. Bitter regret clung to his miserable conscience. "...what reason would you have not to?"

Yoongi pursed his lips, nodding his head slowly. "Fair point," he said in hesitant agreement. "But in my opinion, to deliberately pull someone out of the closet when they aren't ready is a crime punishable by death. And I'm much too young to be committing such a crime."

It hurt Jimin's head. Those words, the underlying sympathy. It hurt to think about it. Seconds passed but they felt like hours.

"...you in the mood for coffee, Jimin?"

*

*

a/n:
i'm just gonna post whenever i feel like it till i catch up to what i have prewritten lol