fifteen: till you've stood where I've stood

Jungkook's POV

He was a little surprised by Jimin's cooperation. This just proved how frantic the boy was about letting his secret slip.

And that was good. For Jungkook, the more scared Jimin was the better. That fear, he assumed and hoped, would regulate and overall control Jimin to the point where he pushed Yoongi out of his life entirely.

It sounded cruel but it was how he felt.

For the person whose primary goal had been to make the life of Jungkook's dear friend absolutely miserable and difficult, this was suitable punishment.

A part of Jungkook was still in shock. He had never even suspected Jimin was gay. But now that he knew, some things made a little sense; however it still didn't excuse what Jimin had done to Yoongi. All that bullying. And the time Jimin had made Yoongi's cheek bleed.

He had known in his heart Yoongi's dog hadn't been responsible.

It wasn't okay. None of that was okay. Jimin needed to understand that.

By any means.

"Hoseok, Jin, can I talk to you two?"

It was after school one day, a day when Yoongi claimed he had to hurry home because he had a dentist's appointment or something and his father wasn't going to wait for him if he were late getting home. Jungkook saw this as a good opportunity.

He didn't want Yoongi around for this.

"What's up, Kook?" Hoseok asked cheerfully, stopping in his tracks once the chocolate-haired boy had come up to him. Seokjin did the same.

"You don't usually ask to talk to us." Seokjin breathed a soft laugh. "Usually it's Yoongi."

"Well, this is important."

It certainly was a rare sight. A rare sound, too. Jungkook didn't often talk around them at all. Though they all considered each other as friends, Hoseok and Seokjin both knew Jungkook had a special, stronger bond with Yoongi.

With interest piqued, the two boys gave some sort of gesture to let Jungkook know they were listening intently. So Jungkook spoke.

"You know how Jimin hasn't really been bothering Yoongi for a while now?"

"Of course, how could we not?" Hoseok said with a heaving sigh. "It's been weird, but I'm just hoping for the best and trusting he'll keep his distance now. He's done enough damage to Yoongi, it's about time he takes a break."

"For the rest of his life," Jin added. Hoseok nodded solemnly.

Jungkook knew they would agree with him. "Well, I know why," he said. The two boys with him simultaneously looked at him with slightly widened eyes. They didn't say anything, though, as if knowing already that Jungkook would elaborate. "He has a secret."

"Oh, a secret is it?" Jin glanced at Hoseok whose face remained still and fixed in a concentrated state.

"What is it, Jungkook?"

"Jimin's gay."

There was no one else around at the moment. Jungkook had made sure of that, because right now, he didn't want anyone else to know, not yet. Jimin hadn't broken that little rule he had given him, so Jungkook would hold off on exposing him for what he deserved. But Seokjin and Hoseok—especially Hoseok—had a right to know.

Neither of the boys were quick to believing it. But as they both examined their friend's expression and the sheer sobriety of it, they realized this wasn't just some practical joke or even something to spark a rumor.

"How did..." The redhead swallowed his breath and looked intently into Jungkook's eyes. "...Kook, how do you know this?"

"I saw them and overheard them talking together," he explained. "They've been hanging out."

"They have??" Seokjin was utterly shocked by this information and didn't bother to hide that fact, either. And once again he made a glance at Hoseok to check the other's expression—still the same. "Wh–...I don't understand, how and why would Yoongi hang out with that guy?? Does he not remember all the harassment that prick put him through??"

Jungkook's gaze fell to the ground. "I thought the same," he said softly. "And to be honest with you, I still don't trust him. Jimin's reputation is too...tainted. He could turn around...and start hurting Yoongi again. He doesn't deserve Yoongi's kindness. He doesn't deserve it..."

Seokjin placed a gentle hand on Jungkook's shoulder and patted it. "It's gonna be alright, Jungkook. That won't happen again. Rather, we won't let that happen again. Right, Hobi?"

"...right."

And that was the end of the conversation. The three friends started on their way towards their homes, with Jungkook and Seokjin heading in one direction and Hoseok in the other.

Several steps into his walk home he stopped.

He stared at the ground, standing still as a gust of cold wind swept over him.

He took out his phone.

"...Yoongi? Hey...yeah, sorry, I know you have a dentist appointment...oh, okay...well, I was just gonna ask, if you're not too tired after your appointment, do you wanna get coffee or something? ...yeah, I can wait, that's fine. Just call me when you're ready. Okay...okay, bye."


▫️▫️▫️


"Asking me to get coffee after a dentist appointment is kinda weird, Hobi."

"I told you I could wait!"

Laughing, Yoongi pushed open the door to The Golden Spoon, then stepped aside for a moment to let Hoseok go inside.

"So this is the place you were telling me about?"

"Yup," Yoongi said with a nod. He began to approach the counter with Hoseok following close behind. "They're really good. I wasn't expecting to like them as much as that other coffee shop I went to, but they exceeded my expectations."

He wasn't even at the counter yet when a familiar barista gasped in surprise and started waving at him.

"Hi, Yoongi!!"

"Hey, Tae." Yoongi cracked a smile and waved back. Hoseok poked out his head and also waved, so Taehyung did so again. "This is my friend Hoseok. Hoseok, this is Taehyung."

Amused, the redhead bit back a grin. "You already know the staff??"

"Just Tae."

"Oh, a nickname, is it? How cute, Yoongles."

"Are you two going out??"

At Taehyung's eager question, Yoongi abruptly turned towards the barista and furiously shook his head. "No, absolutely not, not even if Hobi were gay."

"That's so mean!"

"I'm just messin' with ya," Yoongi teased, giving Hoseok's shoulder a gentle push.

"So if I were gay you would date me?"

"Hobi, you're being weird, stop."

He laughed, and Yoongi rolled his eyes, returning his attention to Taehyung who been patiently waiting and was still smiling from ear to ear.

"Two medium Wake-up Calls, please." He turned to Hoseok. "You'll like it, believe me."

With the press of a couple buttons Taehyung inserted the order onto the register screen, told Yoongi the total, and seconds later Yoongi and Hoseok were waiting at the receiving end of the counter for their drinks. Taehyung was quick to prepare them.

Once they got their coffees the two friends made their way over to an empty table in the middle of the shop and sat down.

"This place has a relaxing atmosphere," Hoseok commented. He took a careful sip of his coffee. "Ooh, this is good."

"Told ya."

A peaceful quietness settled for a bit after that, with the two just quietly sipping at their coffees, not saying anything until Yoongi released a prolonged sigh.

"I miss this."

Hoseok lifted his eyes. "Hm?"

"You know, spending relaxing afternoons and evenings with you," Yoongi explained with a soft smile. "We don't get to as much anymore. You've been busy with studying and your part-time job. I always looked forward to getting coffee with you—well, except it wasn't usually coffee, because you don't even like coffee."

The silence settled again. Louder this time.

Hoseok offered a tiny, guilty smile and pushed his drink away from him. "You got me," he said with a forced laugh. Yoongi smiled.

"Yeah," he said. "I did. So what's the real reason you asked to get coffee with me? Is something wrong?"

Biting the inside of his cheek, Hoseok sunk deep into his thoughts for a moment and sighed, tapping his fingers against the tabletop. "Well...I guess I just...wanted to know..."

Yoongi tilted his head as he waited curiously for his friend to get his thoughts out. "Wanted to know what?"

"...I just wanted to know why I had to hear it from someone else first."

There was a short pause. Hoseok was still looking down.

"...what are you talking about, Hobi-?"

"You should know what I'm talking about." He looked up now, eyebrows slightly arched in a display of conflicted frustration. Yoongi squinted at him.

"Hobi, be specifi-"

"Jimin, Yoongi, I'm talking about Jimin!"

More silence. Yoongi gripped the sleeve of his sweater.

"What about Jimin?"

The redhead scoffed, tempted to roll his eyes but instead zeroed in on his friend's countenance, annoyed that he didn't see guilt there, but something akin to anger.

"I'm talking about him being gay, Yoongi."

With that comment Yoongi's eyes became flooded with that anger, and it was always so strange and unpleasant to see because Yoongi wasn't the type to get angry often. At least not nowadays.

"Hobi, I don't get why you're saying this to me right n-"

"Are you seriously denying it?!"

"I'm not denying it, I just wanna know how you know!!"

They both reacted to their sudden outburst by looking around the coffee shop, slightly ashamed for having raised their voices. And so they lowered them again, but the tension only increased.

"How did you find out?"

Hoseok remained silent.

"How. Did. You. Find. Out?"

"Someone told us-"

"Us?" Yoongi blurted. "As in you and Jin?"

"Yes, me and Jin! Who else?"

"Who told you?"

"What does it matter who told us? Why couldn't you tell us??"

Yoongi could sense how offended Hoseok was by all this, by his voice, by the look in his eyes.

"I had my reasons."

"Reasons?? Yoongi, the jerk who spent such a long period of time making your life at school miserable turns out to be gay and you just start hanging out with him and don't tell us?"

"Hobi, you tell me this much." Yoongi pursed his lips for a moment, then rested his forearms on the table and leaned closer to Hoseok. "If you had known Jimin was gay before, would you have told people? Huh? Would you?"

Hoseok didn't answer. And the fact that he even had to think about it did not sit well with Yoongi. At all.

"See, this is exactly why I didn't tell you guys."

He was back to feeling conflicted again. Both of them were. Yoongi's breathing was uneven. He pushed back his chair and stood up, visibly shaking now. Hoseok gazed up at him with concern.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving, Hobi," he said, "because it doesn't seem like I'll be able to reason with you about this. I hoped I would be able to. I trusted I'd be able to. After everything that happened before I came out, Hobi, I thought you'd understand. I really hoped you'd understand. That you can't know how it feels, you can't know the circumstances, the pressure, the hardships, until you've stood where I stood..."

Hoseok could so clearly hear the emotion in his best friend's voice, and so suddenly the shame washed over him and he attempted to apologize.

"Yoongi, I'm sorry-"

"Are you?"

They locked eyes. Hoseok felt like he was staring back at the Yoongi of two years ago.

"I am, Yoongi, I'm sorry-"

"I have to go. I'll talk to you later, Hobi. Bye."

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