Jeongguk's awake at the crack of dawn Saturday morning. However, not wishing to disturb Jimin in case the boy is still sleeping, he sits awake on his bed, massaging his ankle and contemplating whether he should bother getting breakfast.

The fortunate news is that his ankle has been feeling a lot better. Enough that Jeongguk considers ditching the crutches and simply leaving the brace on for today.

He's not sure. He's not sure how he's feeling this morning, either, which only makes him want time to go by a little faster so he can hang out with Jimin already.

Technically, they didn't decide on a specific time. Jeongguk just assumes some time in the afternoon, but maybe, if he's lucky, Jimin will be okay with going a little earlier.

Anything for a distraction.

Well, he can't really say that, as it's not the only reason. He also wants to spend time with Jimin.

Spend time. That's all it is, a casual hangout.

Because he chickened out after throwing that bold so it's a date? text. Although he can't fully say he chickened out. More so, he backed out because he didn't want to make Jimin feel awkward, should that be the boy's reaction to the question.

That would be the worst case scenario. Should the day come Jeongguk actually confesses, and Jimin reacts in that way...

He doesn't want to think about it. Right now, he doesn't need to think about it, he just needs to focus on building up his excitement for today.

After sitting awake in bed for about an hour, Jeongguk finally gets up to dress himself for the day. And he tries a little harder this time. He's going on a "date" with Jimin, after all, so of course he wants to look good, of course he wants to impress the boy. At the same time, there's not much in his closet that really stands out from anything else, so he gives up after a few minutes and throws together a random white t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

As Jeongguk's putting on the brace for his ankle, he hears his phone buzz on his night stand. He hurries to finish what he's doing and reaches for his phone.

-

Jimin
hi

Jimin
just wanted to let you know my aunt said she could drive us to the mall

Jimin
i don't typically like asking people for favors but i doubt you really want to be taking the bus with your ankle not fully recovered

me
it's really not that bad jimin :(

Jimin
still...

Jimin
she said it's not inconvenient for her, since she's going out today anyway

Jimin
not for work this time but she's going somewhere with her friends or something, idk

Jimin
anyway will you be ready by eleven?

me
yeah of course, i'm ready now actually

Jimin
okay well she'll probably be leaving at like 10:30 so we'll be at your house probably a little before 11

me
sounds great :)

Jimin
are u okay

me
super excited for today (｀・∀・')

Jimin
...ok i'll see u then

-

He smiles and sets his phone on his bed.

Eleven o'clock. A few hours away. Jeongguk wishes it were now.

He ends up watching random videos on YouTube just to pass the time, to fill those boring hours and prevent himself from thinking about the things he doesn't want to be thinking about. It's not easy. At all.

At ten o'clock Jeongguk decides to relocate himself to the couch downstairs so he'll be closer to the door whenever Jimin's aunt gets here. His phone's fully charged at this point, wallet in the black backpack he received as a gift for his last birthday, and...that's it. That's all he needs for today. The only thing missing right now is Jimin, who ends up arriving punctually.

A few minutes before eleven o'clock, Jeongguk receives another message.

-

Jimin
we're out front

Jimin
the silver toyota corolla

me
i know jack squat about cars so pls wave out the car window so i know it's you (｡･ω･｡)

Jimin
we're right outside your house, just walk straight

me
kinda difficult since i'm gay but i'll try :)

Jimin
uh huh...

-

He laughs under his breath, slipping his phone into his jeans pocket as he grabs the crutches leaning against the couch. A day or two more and he can probably ditch these, Jeongguk thinks positively.

He heads out the door and is immediately greeted by the sight of Jimin standing outside a silver car. Jeongguk couldn't hide his smile if he tried.

"Do you need help?"

"I'm okay, Jimin." He makes his way up to the car and smiles even wider as Jimin opens the door for him to put his crutches in.

"You can sit up front, if you-"

"Nah, this is fine."

Without another word Jeongguk climbs into the car, politely greets Jimin's aunt, then makes himself as comfortable as he can with a pair of crutches sharing the back seat with him.

It's about a thirty minute drive to the mall, give or take. Jeongguk's less focused on the time at this point and more so on the amount of glances he catches Jimin making towards him through the rear-view mirror - concerned glances, of course, but Jeongguk makes light of them and winks at the reflection every time.

"Did you boys want me to drop you off at a certain entrance?" Jimin's aunt asks as she pulls into the mall parking lot.

"No, it's okay," her nephew replies. "This one here is fine."

With that, she pulls up to the nearest entrance and turns to look at the two boys, a kind expression upon her face. They both thank her, exit the vehicle, and watch together on the sidewalk as she pulls away again.

Jimin's gaze lingers a little longer.

"You ready to go shopping?"

He turns towards Jeongguk suddenly, eyebrows shooting up as though the question shocks him. "Shopping?"

"Well, yeah, of course." Jeongguk chuckles. "What else would we be doing at the mall?"

"I dunno..."

"C'mon, let's go."

Despite currently being the one with a minor injury, Jeongguk's in the lead as he walks towards the automatic doors, Jimin following gingerly behind.

"So where do you wanna go first, Jimin?"

"Me? Oh, I..." He shrinks into himself as the other's eyes fix on him. "It doesn't matter...you can choose."

"Can I? Okay, great. I want a new wardrobe."

"A what?"

"New wardrobe," Jeongguk repeats, feeling his enthusiasm bubble up again as a giggle spills out of his mouth. He spots a nearby store with casually dressed mannequins in the window and starts making his way towards it. "I've been wearing the same old stuff forever now, I want to try something new."

He enters the store and Jimin follows in behind him.

For a Saturday, the place isn't too crowded. Not only that, but it's a relatively big store to begin with, so there's plenty of space to move in and out of aisles without running into anybody. For Jimin's sake, Jeongguk's glad.

He heads directly for the men's section and turns around to make sure Jimin followed him - he did, but the smaller boy is taking baby steps, going back and forth between staring at the clothes he passes by and examining Jeongguk curiously.

Jeongguk can tell he's bothered. And without a doubt, Jeongguk knows he has himself to blame, so it bothers him, too. He doesn't want Jimin to be worried. More than anything, right now, he feels the best thing for him is to push the troubles aside and enjoy himself today. And that means Jimin enjoying himself, too.

"This shirt's cute, don't you think?"

Jimin shifts his gaze over at the sound of the other's voice. Jeongguk holds up a white, long-sleeved shirt with black cuffs and black stripes around the collar. To Jeongguk's delight, the boy nods in approval.

"You should try it on, Jimin."

"What size is it?"

"Uhh..." He checks the tag. "Medium. But it'll definitely fit you."

The look in Jimin's eyes turns from hopeful to disappointed in a second. "I'll try it if they have it in extra large. Or you can try it for yourself."

"Or we can both try it."

Jeongguk rests his crutches against the clothing rack and carefully sidesteps to the extra-large section. With some regret he finds the same shirt in "Jimin's size" and takes it out to show him.

"Here." The other boy accepts it into his own hands. "Although, like I said, I'm sure the medium would fit just fine on you. I wear medium and you look like you could fit my clothes without a problem."

Jimin's ears turn a light shade of red. "Medium won't do, I have a stomach."

"I would sure hope you have a stomach."

"That's not what I mean..."

Truthfully, Jimin's words sadden him, but Jeongguk chooses to laugh softly in hopes making light of the matter will help make the boy feel a little better.

"Do you wanna pick some clothes for me and I'll pick some for you? Pleeease? You've got a great sense of style, I need me some of that."

"It's not that great," Jimin mutters, the tint from his ears making its way down to his cheeks.

"Pleeeease?"

"...I-"

"Pleeeeeeeeease-"

"Okay, fine."

He gets his way, he's happy about it, and he doesn't hide it, either. Rather, Jeongguk goes about his way, leaving his crutches behind as he limps through the aisles and begins piling shirts and jeans (after Jimin reluctantly gives his size) over his arm. Eventually, however, he has to stop as the amount of clothing he's stockpiled becomes a safety hazard to himself.

Jimin ends up carrying Jeongguk's crutches to the fitting rooms. The amount of clothes he picked up only amounts to about a third of what Jeongguk picked for him.

"Jeongguk, your ankle-"

"-is perfectly fine, now, c'mon, you gotta try all these on."

Jimin doesn't argue any more, though it's clear he wants to. Instead, Jeongguk gets his way once again and is granted the privilege of seeing his "date" try on all the clothes and give his opinion on each, which, naturally, is the same every time.

"Eleven out of ten."

"That's not a real rating..."

"Twelve out of ten."

"Jeongguk..."

"...thirteen..."

They end up spending a long time in the store, mainly (unsurprisingly) because of Jeongguk, who threatens to buy Jimin half the merchandise if Jimin wouldn't buy anything for himself. He's only partially joking. Jeongguk may not be made of money, but if it means making this boy happy, he'd spend all he had in the blink of an eye.

It's close to one p.m. by the time they walk out of there and, at Jeongguk's request, start heading towards the food court. He didn't eat breakfast this morning so by this point he's built up somewhat of an appetite.

"You should sit down," Jimin says to him once they arrive at an empty table. "Your ankle's not gonna recover as quickly if you're on your feet all day. I'll pick up the food."

Jeongguk smiles warmly. "Well, if you put it that way, how can I turn you down?"

"I'll be right back..."

He watches as Jimin walks across the food court to the Chinese takeout place on the other side, returning mere minutes later with two containers in a plastic bag slung from his arm, one soda in each hand. He sets everything carefully on the table and sits down.

"I'll pay you back later," Jeongguk says as he reaches for his drink. Jimin shakes his head.

"That's not necessary..."

"Maybe, but I'll do it anyway."

"You're stubborn..."

"I'm stubborn? What about you?"

"...this isn't about me."

"It is now."

Jimin looks up from his food with that troubled gleam in his eye that's been there all day, except more vividly now. Jeongguk just smiles at him. In his good mood, he disregards every unpleasant thing so that he can simply take advantage of this day, this peaceful, stress-free time with his crush who feels like more than just a crush at this point.

"...what's wrong?"

Jeongguk stops as he's about to put another piece of chicken in his mouth. "Nothing. Food's great."

"I'm talking about with you. What's been going on...?"

And just like that, the moment of peace and happiness falters. Jeongguk sets down his chopsticks. His appetite is gone.

"You don't have to tell me," Jimin goes on to say in a smaller voice, "but it's like I said...and I-...don't really know how to...I mean you don't have to tell me...I said that already..."

Jeongguk smiles a pained smile.

"You're really sweet, you know that, Jimin?"

The boy shrinks into himself. Jeongguk leans back in his own chair, letting out a deep breath he didn't even know he was holding - it's ragged, unsteady. He feels unsteady again.

"I don't really know what to say, Jimin," he begins in as stable a voice as he can manage. "Lately I've just been seeing writing that's not there, and it, it just makes me feel sick, every time afterwards, and I...I-I don't, I don't know how else to describe it, I've looked into schizophrenia-"

"Schizophrenia??"

"I don't wanna say it's that." Jeongguk exhales raggedly again and pushes his food away from him. "I really don't think it is, at least I hope not, I mean I guess I've just been paranoid and wanting answers so I looked up the symptoms of it..."

"And?"

"And...that's it." He shrugs. "It lists hallucinations and paranoia, and...hearing voices, although so far that's only happened once and it was in my dream..."

By now Jeongguk can feel his joy from earlier has completely faded. And he feels guilty because of it, because of the paleness, the distraught look on Jimin's face as he appears to have lost his appetite as well.

"Jimin, it's-"

"I'm not a hallucination."

Jeongguk stares at him in shock of those words.

"I'm not," the other boy says firmly. "You don't think that, do you?"

"Of course not." What's gotten into him? "Like I said, I don't really think it's schizophrenia, Jimin, I just...thought giving it a label might ease my nerves a bit but now that I think about it that might do the opposite." He forces a laugh. Jimin's expression doesn't change. "C'mon, don't be like this now...this was supposed to be a fun distraction for me."

The minor guilt trip triggers the boy's gaze to shift over to his food. Then over to Jeongguk's. "I'm sorry..."

"Did I ruin your appetite?"

"...no."

"I did, didn't I?"

"No, I ate a big breakfast this morning, anyway." Jimin closes the styrofoam container in front of him. "I won't throw it out, I can heat it up and eat it later. But you should eat..."

"I'm afraid I'll throw up."

He looks so upset. And it absolutely breaks Jeongguk's heart, because he can see how hopeless the boy feels through those half-lidded eyes, now resting their gaze on Jeongguk's hands.

How quickly the atmosphere changed.

"Jimin, it'll be okay."

"Why don't you see a doctor or a therapist?"

"Why don't you?"

It comes out without a second thought. On any other day Jeongguk might back out and apologize but his fickle state of mind right now convinces him otherwise. He goes through with it, staring intensely into Jimin's eyes while at the same time conveying that sympathy burning in his heart. But it doesn't last.

"Did Hobi tell you?"

Those four words alone shatter Jeongguk's confidence. The emotion in them, pressed down, but bleeding through.

"He didn't," Jeongguk says softly. "I'm sorry, Jimin, I just-" Way to go, you screw up. "-I'm sorry, I'm just...worried about you, too."

To Jeongguk's immense relief, Jimin seems to calm after but a moment, and his grieved look from earlier takes form again.

"I'm sorry, too," the boy whispers, "this wasn't about me. I ruined today for you."

"You didn't, though."

"You can be honest..."

"You make me happy, Jimin."

He looks up again to see Jeongguk's smile, pure and genuine as it could possibly be. Not forced this time.

For a moment they say nothing. Their eyes locked, not moving from each other.

"...is there...anything...I can do...?"

"A hug would be nice."

He takes his chance. If ever there were a time Jimin would agree to one, it would be now. And he does. With cheeks pink as his lips, Jimin pushes back his chair to stand up. Jeongguk does the same.

He puts weight on his uninjured foot to balance himself as Jimin wraps his arms around his neck.

Tears surface in Jeongguk's eyes against his will. Overcome with emotion, he hugs Jimin back tightly and presses a kiss to the side of the boy's head.

"Thank you for not running anymore..."

—

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