[ Chapter Nineteen—raw meat ]

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I was not sure where I was. It was dark and it was cold. But then it was here, this bright big mystical light. It shined rays of blue down, lighting up the forest around. Finally, the lights fell on me, lighting up my own body for my very own eyes to witness.

Except... it was not my body. Or at least the body I normally possessed.

Dark fur, near-black in color was coated with red blood. Huge paws, bigger than any I ever thought possible were what I stood on. I was a huge daunting wolf and I was covered in blood.

I could not get away from it, it was everywhere — it was drowning me. I was drowning in blood.

But then there was his face, smiling down at me. There were no butterflies like there used to be, no feelings of affection, and definitely no love. This was pure unbridled hate that consumed me, it was hate far stronger than I had ever felt before.

I hated Carter Valenzuela so much and his face smiling down at me made me want to do nothing more than rip his head off. With that thought, I lunged...

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I awoke with a loud scream, practically jumping from the sheets and landing on my knees. My body bounced upon landing on the soft bed. It was dark but not in the same way as the dream. It was familiar, I was still in the room in the castle on the bed.

Despite the dark, I could still see perfectly clear. It was an odd sensation with it being dark but still being able to see as though it were mid-day.

I smelled him before I saw him, my head snapping to the front where Caius stood blankly. His face was void of all emotion, the King looking just as imposing as ever.

It was no doubt incredibly late or early morning but Caius was still dressed as though it were any other time of the day. A pressed black suit and sleek shiny dress shoes.

Did this guy ever wear anything else? Maybe Caius could try not dressing like he was some sort of mega-billionaire CEO. We both knew the only mega that he was is mega-old.

"What the fuck?" I hissed in a groggy tone, "why the hell are you in here? Decided you've had enough of me yet?" I dramatically fell back against the bed, curling in a ball and snuggling into my pillow.

There was nothing in response so I cracked a single eye open to confirm that Caius was still in the room. He stood there staring at me harshly, his red eyes flickering to various places on my body.

"What were you dreaming of that distressed you so greatly?" Caius finally ground, his silk tone holding every amount of anger that it always did.

"You naked," I immediately quipped, a sarcastic smile on my face as Caius growled lowly.

"I would not say such things, pup," he spat while I laid silently in the dark.

"Bite me, vamp,"

Caius looked furious as he always did when he talked to me.

"I would gladly do so if I were not wary about whatever wolfish diseases you may or may not have," he said venomously.

Instead of being insulted, I smirked finding humor in the comeback. Finally, an insult that was not as old as dirt.

However, instead of firing back something of my own, I chose to answer his previous question. "It's just pre-moon night terrors, it happens every time the full moon is close," I said in a sleepy tone. "Why? Were you worried about me?" I laughed softly, my mind already pulling me back into the clutches of sleep.

It was quiet for a moment before I felt a sudden weight on the side of the bed inches from where I was curled up. I was shocked when I felt a cold hand press gently into my scalp, icy smooth fingers weaving through my hair and rubbing my head.

I laid there silently, allowing him to caress my head for a few moments before the hand disappeared and the pressure sitting close to me was gone. The door slammed shut but I was surprised when I heard no click of the familiar lock.

I was left with the ghost of Caius as I fell asleep, my mind wandering not to thoughts of Carter but rather a much better but angrier blond.

I woke up a few hours later, a groan leaving my lips as I pushed myself up from the bed. I shivered as I remembered a quickly fleeting dream I had been having: it involved running around the forest playing tag with a blond douchebag.

As if that would ever happen.

Forcing myself out of bed, I made my way to the bathroom where upon flickering the lights on I discovered that I currently looked like the literal definition of trash. Heavy bags sat under my eyes, my usual tan face was sickly pale, and my hair was everywhere.

Despite the bags, my eyes had taken up an odd brightness, the brown seeming to have lightened up almost as though they were turning blue. My gaze was also constantly flickering as my senses were on high alert, my body was physically shaking from everything.

I looked sick but I felt like I could take on an entire army: it was a bad combination. Not bothering to take a shower (if I smell everyone keeping me here can suffer) I haphazardly pulled my hair into a low ponytail before brushing my teeth and leaving the bathroom.

My body was still shaking when I pulled my phone from the sheets of the bed, energy thrumming high throughout me being. I had to be careful handling my phone or anything else because my strength was more overpowering than usual.

Even though I had shaved last night, my hair had already grown back but I was way too lazy to shave it... again!

Instead, I came up with the best way possible to get rid of this energy. TikTok dances were always the move.

Before all of this shit went down, TikTok among other social media was pretty much my entire life. Since I had been with the Cullens, I strayed away from most social media (though Nessie and I made the occasional TikTok) and decompressed.

Now though, what was better to pass the time than to do a popular TikTok dance: Cannibal is what I want to do.

After making sure I knew the moves, I placed my phone on a dresser and moved back a few feet away from it. When Nessie and I did TikToks we never posted them as in order to keep the secrecy of the supernatural, it was best not to chance any type of potential attention.

I had recorded the dance a total of three, and I was in the middle of my fourth when the door to the room swung open.

I sighed in annoyance, the other three I did not like and so far this one was coming out good, but now it was ruined. Turning around, I faced Demetri with pursed lips.

"Is there a reason you are interrupting me, Bert?" I arched a single brow.

Demetri was staring at me in apparent disturbance, his lips drawn into a thin line.

"I truly do not want to know what I just walked in on..." he huffed, as I walked forward and stopped the video.

Clicking my phone off, I slid it into the waistband of my sweatpants.

"What's up, I don't see breakfast with you like normal?" I finally questioned, confusion evident in my tone.

It was true, generally, Demetri always had a tray of food whenever he visited. This time the vampire was empty-handed.

Demetri lips quirked into an amused smile, "Master Caius has ended your lockdown punishment. You are now free to roam the castle as you please as long as you don't cause a disturbance—" before he could even finish his sentence I was racing past him with whoops and hollers of joy.

"Whoo-hoo, sweet! Let's go to the kitchen so I can get some food!" I was somehow skipping and sprinting down the halls at the same time.

I vaguely heard Demetri cursing as he raced after me. It did not take him long to catch up, even if I was moving inhumanly fast so was he. He slowed down when he was directly in front of me, walking backward with his arms folded behind his back.

"You know," he scowls, "I am still supposed to accompany you—"

"Wanna go on a date?" I blurted without a second thought causing the vampire to splutter and nearly trip over himself.

The fact that I actually nearly managed to make a vampire trip was impressive. After a few seconds, Demetri pulled himself together.

"Please stop," he pleaded with a begging look on his face, "I truly do not feel like being beheaded by Master Caius anytime soon..."

"Don't worry, he's not Aro, he can't read your mind,"

"Master Aro will not hesitate to tell Caius you're flirting with my irresistible self..." Demetri sighed causing me to make a face at him.

Irresistible my ass.

We stormed into the kitchen not even a second later, the pristine cleanliness meeting my eyes. Without hesitation, I ditched Demetri and threw the large refrigerator door open, my eyes skimming the length of it.

"Uhm, we have a plate already ready for you—" I vaguely glanced to where Demetri was motioning only to see a fluffy plate of flapjacks drizzled with syrup.

But... no.

No, I'm hungry but I don't want flapjack or bread or carbs for the matter. I need... I need... I need meat.

Immediately, my eyes zeroed in on an unopened raw package of bacon. The animal within me growled and reared its head hungrily. Reaching forward, I grabbed the bacon and closed the fridge. Walking toward the drawer where I knew the scissors to be, I haphazardly took them out and cut open the package.

Demetri was watching me the whole time with his narrowed in confusion and mouth slightly agape. It was not until I placed the scissors back and reached into the package that he finally spoke.

"I can grab the chef and have him cook you—" he stopped himself with a disgusted noise as I shoved a piece of raw meat into my mouth.

I moaned while munching on the chewiness happily.

"What?" I snickered while tilting my head. "It's the newest trend, it's called the salmonella diet, it's going around on TikTok," I lied breezily.

"That is a horrid app," Demetri grunted as gagging and scrunching his nose. "That is simply vile, how are you even eating that without vomiting?"

"Just like you drink blood..." I shot back, taking a seat on the counter and continuing to eat from the package.

The wolf within was practically barking happily with every bite I took, a part of me wanted to reenact this on the outside as well but I could not even imagine what Demetri would do if I did that. He would probably pass out.

Demetri may have acted tough but he was such a softie on the inside: Felix is too.

Speak of the devil and he may appear, Felix raced into the room, "Here you two are—Ew, that is nasty, by the Gods! What are you doing?"

The mountain of a vampire was looking at me in disgust, shaking his head. He then noticed the plate of flapjacks and motioned to it.

"There is a perfectly good plate of sustenance right here! Even so, someone can cook that for you if you are so lazy that you would just eat it raw!"

I shrugged in response paying the two no mind. Instead, I laid back on the counter, holding each strip up and dropping it into my mouth. Each cringe they give made me smile.

I knew I looked like shit but I felt better than I have in days.

"How do you feel about getting me some weed?" Is all I questioned in response, a question that made Demetri face palm himself and Felix sigh.

As if on cue, two certain Volturi members made their grand entrance. Aro and Caius were opposites, but they were also one and the same. They glided in the same eery, ancient, and graceful manner: almost as though they were floating.

While Caius's hair was practically stark white and Aro's raven dark: they were both long stopping just below the shoulders. Pale skin, cloudy red eyes (though Caius's held a much more sinister gleam), and eternal beauty.

That just about summed up the Volturi.

They both paused at the sight they came up upon, myself only smiling wider.

"Hello, Aro," I greeted, making it a point to pretend to ignore Caius even though he was the one I was watching the most.

Aro smiled with a raised brow. "Hello, Jaclyn,"

Everyone at the Volturi called me by my full name, it was odd. It had been a while since had referred to me as Jaclyn, even my own parents had taken to calling me, Jackie.

"How are you today," I questioned in the midst of chewing.

Caius looked severely annoyed by my lack of attention toward him.

"Well," the raven-haired leader paused, eyeing the raw bacon, "I take it that you..." he hesitated at my appearance, "...are well too?"

"Obviously, my dude," I chirped while eating another piece.

Caius apparently had enough for he took a daunting step forward. I noticed Demetri and Felix had already fled the kitchen leaving me alone with the two leaders.

"Why are you eating that?" Caius demanded with a hiss to his words.

I shrugged in response. "I dunno, it tastes good?"

He growled at my answer.

"Will that not make you sick?"

"Bro, I am literally an animal," I laughed while eating the final piece of raw meat. "Besides, this is kind of my thing around the time of the full moon. Really connect with those wolfish urges, you know," I laughed at my own pun.

Caius shook his head while Aro cracks an almost dreamy smile.

"My wife would like to say hello, but I told her there will be no more sneak visits this close to the full moon," Aro informed me, my eyebrows raising.

"Ah, so you know about that then?"

As far as I had been concerned, nobody except for Sully knew about her little visit the other day.

"Of course they do, they read each other's minds all the time," Caius scoffed with a roll of his eyes.

"Woah, wait!" I spoke excitedly, jumping off the counter. "You guys can read each other's minds? I thought only Aro could do that!"

"No, Sulpicia can too," Aro waved me off, "though it can get quite annoying sometimes, she never knows the meaning of privacy, refused to stay out of my head," he rolled his eyes at the end.

Caius scoffed as though what Aro just said was preposterous. "As though you are any different from her, you two simply have no boundaries when it comes to each other,"

Aro only shrugged in response, a motion that I found oddly human for a vampire.

"Did you two need something?" I finally asked.

As much as I enjoyed the visit, I highly doubted they appeared just to chat.

"Ah, yes!" Aro clapped his hands with a gleam in his eye. "As of now, it had been decided that you will be moving into Caius's room,"

Caius's face did not give away any emotions but I knew that I looked practically gobsmacked.

Well shit.

Welp, writer's block is grrreeeaaattt—not. Yes, that is right my dudes, I officially am diagnosing myself with a serious case of writer's block for this story. It sucks and I am really sorry to you all who have stuck by this story, it is honestly not fair to you guys but I promise I am trying to get over it!

Along with a bad case of writer's block, I also have university looming over my head, it starts in like four weeks: wish me luck.

Anyway, thank you all for reading, I love and appreciate you all more than you can imagine. The comments always make me laugh and smile: I love the comments more than anything so please keep commenting!

I promise I am going through various options on what to do for this story with my writer's block — I am also considering potentially partnering with someone so we could both write chapters. I am still not sure; however, if you are interested in potentially becoming a partner and helping me write some of this feel free to DM me!