Jungkook flinched when he heard Jimin clearing his throat. He felt terrified, but what made him even more terrified was that he was scared of his husband, the man he loved. 

"Sweetie?" Jimin's playful voice reverberated and Jungkook straightened up. "What are you doing here outside?"

"N-nothing," Jungkook stuttered, his eyes weren't ready to lift up and look at the man. 

"Come on, let's get inside."

Jimin put his hand towards Jungkook and the teen slowly stepped closer. Jimin's behavior wasn't unusual. After not seeing each other for the entire day, the two usually hugged and kissed each other. Just as Jungkook entered the house and Jimin closed the door behind them, he sped towards the window of the living room. 

Jimin only looked at the boy and smiled, thinking that he might still be missing home. "Do you want to go out to eat, Jungkook? I saw a really good bistro that opened nearby."

Jungkook shook his head.

"Are you okay?" Jimin now followed the boy to the window and Jungkook's muscles tensed. He was struggling inside his mind. This man has loved him so much, given him too much, took care of him in every way. But the words from the letter also made him not ignore the things the older had done or was capable of doing. 

"Jungkook?" The boy flinched again when Jimin raised his hand to touch his face. "Hey..." Jimin pulled him close and hugged him. 

Jungkook wrapped his arms around Jimin's back and started sobbing. "Baby, I know you miss grandma. She wouldn't want you to be like this. What if tell you she is watching over you from there?" Jimin pointed at a star and Jungkook whipped his head slowly to visit the pointed finger.  

The boy didn't say anything and hugged Jimin again, ensuring himself that whatever happened was just a bad dream. His Jimin was perfect. He loved his Jimin and couldn't live without him. 

Once Jimin successfully calmed Jungkook down, they sat on the couch. Jungkook still didn't talk, but he wasn't as terrified as he was a few hours ago. It was until Jimin walked into the room. 

"Where are the goldfishes?" He asked Jungkook from the door and Jungkook jostled up. This was his time, he thought. He could talk to Jimin about it. 

"I don't know." He replied, walking closer to the man and eyes taking in how Jimin's face started twitching.

"Where are they?" Jimin repeated, this time, he closed his fists shut as though he was struggling to keep himself calm. 

"Why?" Jungkook asked. "Why did we have goldfish in the house?"

Jimin saw red all of the sudden. His body felt an impulse that originated somewhere from his head and ran down to his upper body and then he felt it tingling all over his skin. He could feel his body shiver. It wasn't just one impulse, it was wave after wave that made him blind. 

Jungkook gasped when Jimin held his collar and pushed him back on the wall harshly. "Where are they?"

"Jimin..." Jungkook teared up with pressure on his neck. "JIMIN!" He choked and coughed but Jimin didn't leave his collar.

At last, Jungkook felt he'd pass out as Jimin kept asking him the same question. He courageously kicked Jimin and the man stumbled back a little. Jungkook fell down on the floor and coughed, wheezed a lot while drool came out of his mouth. 

Jimin took a few moments and so did Jungkook before the older walked to Jungkook. "Ba-baby?" Jimin called in a broken voice and Jungkook kept his head low, still breathing frantically. "I am sorry."

When Jungkook lifted his head up and glared at Jimin, his eyes were watery and his face red along with his neck. "Thanks for everything, Jimin."

"I am so sorry, please, listen to me..." Jimin began to cry and reached over to hold the younger's hands with a slight tremble. 

"No!" Jungkook scurried back quickly. "Don't touch me!" 

Getting up, Jungkook ran inside the room, leaving Jimin on the floor, shaking.

Jimin saw Jungkook getting out with a few things in his hand and racing inside the other bedroom on the same floor.

As he closed the door behind harshly, Jimin curled down on the floor and cried with broken sighs and hiccups. 

**

The next morning, Jimin woke up and only found Jungkook's figure leaving the house. He rushed to see by the window that the driver was waiting outside.

Once the car left, Jimin walked into the bathroom to take out his medicines. He stared at them as if they were a hoax and did nothing. How could he lose control when he was on medication? There were no labels on the three bottles. He always made sure to keep the bottles bare of content. 

Jimin couldn't think anything except intense guilt. He needed his Jungkook back. He called Jungkook but the phone was turned off. He didn't feel any strength in his body to work or barely get through the day. Sitting on the toilet seat, he just stared at his medicines. 

He sat there for almost an hour and when he started to walk out, he now realized that Jungkook must have found out. Why else would he throw away the fish? But how did he find out? It didn't seem that important. The only thing that worried him now was how he must look in Jungkook's eyes. A monster? An abomination? An imperfect and weak man? He didn't like the idea of it.

The day was the longest day for him. When the time arrived, he showered and called the driver to not go to pick Jungkook up. He left home with hope, still dreadful, but he couldn't lose Jungkook, even if the boy thought he was pathetic, he was willing to live under the weight of it.

He waited outside the university door and when Jungkook spotted him, he started rushing past the cars to get a taxi. Jimin could only tear up and follow the boy home. Their destinations were same but their paths were now divided. Jungkook got off the taxi first and rushed into the room before Jimin could follow him.  

Jimin banged the door gingerly. "Baby, please forgive me. I beg you. Talk to me." 

Jungkook could hear Jimin crying and it squeezed his heart to see his man cry, but he wasn't ready. He didn't know if he would ever be ready for all this.

Picking a pillow from the bed, he covered his head by it and sobbed infinitely.

Jimin kept knocking at the door for hours until his feet gave in and he leaned against it, sitting and sobbing softly. 

The next morning arrived. Jungkook opened the door slowly and found Jimin curled up there. He immediately shut his mouth with his hands to not make any sound as he couldn't control himself after spotting the state his husband was in. Jimin was shaking with cold and his face was pale as a ghost. It didn't look like he had eaten anything yesterday. At least Jungkook ate with Candy at school.

He made his way into their bedroom that looked like a war was fought there. Things were scattered and messy. Jimin liked everything to be picture-perfect. The state the house was in reflected the state of Jimin's mind.

Ignoring everything, Jungkook brought the duvet and put it over Jimin before hastily gushing out of the house. 

Jimin lifted his head up when he found the warmth around him and realized that he was covered by his husband. Throwing the duvet aside, he rushed to check the rooms but Jungkook was gone again. 

**

"Is everything okay, Jungkook?" Jimin's driver asked. 

"No," Jungkook replied. 

"There are fights in marriage, Jungkook. Don't let them overthrow your love for each other. I have seen people all my life but love like you two is rare."

Jungkook remained silent.  

Another day passed and Jungkook got out of the university to see no sign of Jimin. He slowly walked towards the driver who was waiting and got in the car.

When he was dropped at home, he slowly walked in, not wanting to see Jimin, and that's what he got. 

Jimin wasn't in the house.

He sat in the living room, holding his head. He decided that it was time he did his laundry and also fix clothes in the new room for the next few days.

Feeling a bit hungry, he cooked. Not only just Ramen, but he watched Youtube tutorials to cook a proper three-course meal and left the food in the kitchen for Jimin. It didn't matter if he was scared of the man, he still loved him dearly and cared for him.

Jimin returned and when he sniffed the fragrance of food from kitchen, he walked into it.

When Jungkook heard the sound of utensils through the ajar door of his room, he discerned that the man was back from work. He wanted to see him, check how he was doing, but he couldn't get himself to walk out.

Jimin ate as he sobbed softly. While he couldn't gulp the food down due to pain in his throat, he still did. Jungkook made it for him. He felt worse after eating because as much as he was willing to get into Jungkook's arms and cry a whole lot, he had to fix the kitchen first. The itch in his brain that everything wasn't in its place, he felt helpless as he began to clean up.