https://youtu.be/uxjhN_Donfw

I Love You, I'm Sorry- Gracie Abrams

Jungkook

I hated God who made Jimin and then decided for me to be born at the same time, meet him, and suffer. I was now an atheist. 

Jimin was behaving normally, and I knew it was to keep the harmony of the group intact more than anything. He even patted my back and laughed this morning in the cafeteria after Ulrich joked about me, the same Ulrich who gave me an earful before helping me get dry last night. Though we both went to sleep feeling closer to each other than we did in the past. I didn't want to take our friendship for granted.

I knew I couldn't have a better friend than Ulrich, and I wanted to celebrate that, but my heart was hurt and otherwise occupied. I had a million feelings for just Jimin, and when it hurt, it hurt. My chest was heavy the moment we left the garage last night. I thought it would improve like it always did, but it didn't.

As I breathed, I couldn't inhale too long for the fear that my chest would catch fire. Was I dying? Seeing myself struggle. For him. The one I would never have. Everyday. It would be worth it if I did die. 

I walked into the class, looking around at sparsely seated students with familiar faces. I didn't care about any one of them. Ulrich pulled my arm when I crossed our usual front seats. "Where are you going?"

"I wanna sit in the back today," I told him slowly, feeling like my chest would give out if I spoke too loud. 

"No way," he pushed me back and down on the desk. "You've been absent for too long. This has to end now."

I looked at him, his auburn and doll-like thin hair flying around airily. He was blinking rapidly while taking out the books from his bag. I shifted my gaze to my bag and pulled out a notebook. "Do you have extra pens?"

"Yeah," without looking at me, he scrambled for a few seconds before presenting one to me. 

I took it silently and clicked it until the tip of the ink protruded at the front. I went through the motions when the professor came and taught us about the anti-hypertensives and anatomy of blood vessels. It wasn't tough. At least from what I heard, I knew I would be able to self-study later.

My whole focus was on Jimin's words and how distressed he looked when he said that I was mistaking my feelings, or how his eyes had a longing when he said that he wanted a wife and a child of his own. 

God dammit! The pain spiked. I clutched my chest and closed my eyes.

Ulrich's body went into full alert. "What's wrong?" He asked slowly.

"I don't feel well." I let out with a quivering breath. 

"Do you need to go to the medical room?" He asked, closing his notebook. 

"What's going on?!" The professor asked, stopping the lecture.

"Jungkook's not well." Ulrich stood up.

As if my body were waiting for the chaos to ensue, it let go. My face turned hot and I started sweating. The pain increased, and I took choppy breaths. The classmates turned insignificant blobs. I tried to inhale, but it felt like my throat was closing in on me. My motor movements were long gone, but before I could fall back, Ulrich and two other boys gripped my arms and lifted me. I heard them huffing and grunting as they carried me out. 

After the tornado, the skies were clear and it was bright and sunny. I felt the cold air as well as the welcoming sun on my face. At that moment, the only thought in my mind was that I wanted to see my parents. I was sure I was going to die. 

I was led into the medical room while I was still conscious. There was an in-house doctor, a nurse, and a student volunteer who looked over the medical conditions of urgent cases. I heard them telling the boys to get out so they could check me out. While the senior student took my clothes off, the nurse began to take my vitals. 

I shivered, feeling cold all of a sudden. The doctor kindly covered me under the thick duvet and started talking to the nurse. I couldn't understand their indistinct murmur, too low for my ears. I curled up, wanting someone to hold my hand. I would've even accepted Taehyung Hyung at that moment. I needed to feel safe. And all of a sudden, I got a fit of crying as I realized that it would never be Jimin who'd hold my hand.

I began to sob, my chest unable to contain the pain. It spread all over my arm and then my head. The doctor held me down, injecting me with something. 

I cried and screamed. 

Not before long, I found my eyes drooping as everything turned lighter, and the darkness brought relief. 

Jimin

I sat inside the medical room, looking at Jungkook's figure hidden under the duvet. Taehyung was sitting beside him on the patient bed. Ulrich was on the floor, reading from the book, and Rose was taking a seat beside me. 

The news of a student falling sick spread fast. It didn't take us long to know that it was a second-year student, and then Taehyung called Ulrich, and he confirmed it was none other than Jungkook. 

We were all in the class at the time. I told Taehyung I would go with him. I needed to see Jungkook myself. And Rose followed me. As a result, now we were all waiting for Jungkook to wake up. 

I couldn't have ignored the feeling of regret that washed all over me that I might have been the reason he was suffering. We talked last night, and he fell sick today. Co-incidence? I thought not. I only hoped he was doing better. Guilt was an interesting feeling. It affected everyone differently under different circumstances. 

I might not have the same feelings for Jungkook that he had for me, but I felt something for him. And that something was the reason I was fucking scared. Without wanting to, I was playing with his health, his life. 

Jungkook stirred and Taehyung gasped, immediately standing up and backing away, not wanting to overwhelm him. "Hey, buddy," he called when Jungkook let out a painful moan. "How are you feeling?"

He opened his eyes and blinked at Taehyung. His neck craned to see me. I lowered my eyes, unable to look at him. He reached out his hand for Ulrich, who was already on his feet. The boy sauntered closer to Jungkook and captured his palm. "It still hurts," he said, letting out another constricted breath. His eyes averted to Taehyung, and he mumbled. "I can't breathe."

Taehyung sprang into action to bring the doctor back. I stood up, and so did Rose. I knew Jungkook wouldn't appreciate seeing her there, so I stood close to the bed, not giving Rose any space to come into his view. "What happened, Jungkook?" I asked in an amicable voice, careful not to sound too friendly or a little harsh.

I was almost certain he wouldn't talk to me, but he did. "My chest won't stop hurting."

"Since when is this happening?" 

"Since we returned from the garage." He didn't hesitate to speak the truth. Rose stiffened behind me. She had no clue about what happened, but I was thankful that she understood that it wasn't the right time to talk about any of that. I'd also have to lie to her, or at least, hide some things from our conversation earlier. 

The doctor came in with Taehyung and I stepped back. I was thankful for their presence because I didn't know what to say to Jungkook after that. They said some things. I remained dazed. Knowing that I couldn't look too out of it in front of Rose, I focused back on the conversation and heard Ulrich saying, "but he doesn't have a GP."

"GP?" I asked.

"Yeah. I told Jungkook to register for one, but he said he wouldn't need it."

I dared to take one more look at him. His face was pale, lips dry, his features tight with pain. "I could talk to my doctor for emergency care."

"Except that it's too late and we will have to wait for the morning," Taehyung asserted. 

All of us started thinking, including the doctor. "I have a few friends, but they are not the specialists. He needs to see a specialist with a proper setup. He also needs an MRI to see what is the problem."

"My father can see Jungkook," Rose sliced the silence that fell after the doctor's statement. "I can talk to him now. He's a cardiologist. He'll check him. In fact, anyone from my family can do a proper examination and treatment."

To say that everyone in the room except the doctor was shocked was an understatement. Ulrich and Rose didn't gel, it was no secret. I didn't know the reason why, but the truth wasn't hidden from my eyes. Taehyung knew Rose wasn't Jungkook's fan. She told me that she had talked to him about her concern related to Jungkook with Tae. And I- I was more in awe than shock. I knew I was in a relationship with her because she shared some of my traits, but seeing her come for this, my respect for her increased. 

"Yeah," I said. "We will arrange a carrier to take Jungkook. You talk to your Dad."

"Okay," she took out her phone and I walked out, Taehyung and Ulrich following close behind. 

Rosenow

"Here," I moved closer to Jungkook, and he looked at me like I was someone he didn't expect to be there in his lifetime. I tried to give him a warm padding for his chest.

"I don't need it."

I sighed, taking his arm and holding it up. I gently put the padding on his chest and lowered his arm. "I know you don't like me, Jungkook. But I am not your enemy. If you were in my place, you would've done everything in your power to ensure that you don't lose your man."

That made his eyes stuck on my face. I smiled slightly. "I know you had a thing for Jimin or... Whatever. I am not here to reprimand you. I trust Jimin. And you need to get well."

"I'll be fine." He said like a petulant child, even when his breaths came out wheezing. 

"Don't be dramatic, Jungkook. I am not doing you any favor if that's what you think. You are my friend's friend, and they care about you. I am doing this for them."

When he didn't say anything... "Good," I stepped away from him. "Try to take a rest and don't think about anything. If I were you, I'd let people take care of me. Be smart. I know you are."

He spun his face away from me. I turned around and was about to walk away when I heard his small voice. "Thank you."

"You are welcome, Jungkook." I stopped, craned my neck, and couldn't help but smile. It felt good to help someone in need. If I wasn't sure before, I was now to know how correct I was to have chosen this path for my career ahead.

I hoped I'd become a good doctor someday. 

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29 Mar, 2025