Izuku Midoriya

(Angst)

I couldn't get enough; my mate was showing me attention and after four years of being in constant pain, Katsuki was making every bad thing go away. Even if this was temporary, I was determined to let nature take its course this time around. For once.

I was off the heat suppressants for pretty much the first time since I began having heats and Katsuki was taking care of me while I was unable to do it myself. His Alpha instincts were kicking in; I loved it.

When I had woken from my nap, my heat was back, and as much as I loved the attention my Alpha was giving me, I hated the fact that somewhere deep within my chest would burn every time he rejected my pleas for his knot. Every time he would ignore my cries and then steer my attention away with his hands. He took his time - much to my surprise - and explored my body. Fingers teasing my hips, thighs, neck, and stomach, Katsuki never left me in pain and made sure I was sated, fed, hydrated, and clean.

It was something I never thought I would have as an omega. I didn't think of things like heat cycles and mates until I found my mate. So I never cared to wonder how my Alpha would treat me. When I found Katsuki, I knew that things would never be as simple as I wanted them to be.

I had woken my mate up once or twice throughout the night, my body cycling through rough waves of desire while Katsuki slept soundly in the same bed. I wish we could have slept next to each other before now. It made this almost seem mundane now.

There had been no special moments between us that would lead up to this. No late night dates or around-the-block drives, only to come back where I would sneak into his bed, or he would ask me to spend the night with him. There were no dates in general, I hadn't gotten around to asking him that. We didn't get casual kisses and courting.

No - I was thrown into a bed with my Alpha because of my heat. Not because he loved me or even liked me in this way.

There was nothing else. No feelings attaching us other than my one-sided devotion to him that was slowly crumbling.

I was going to leave and make things right for once. I was tired of hurting. I didn't want Katsuki to look at me with disdain and confusion anymore. It was clear from the start that he didn't want me, and nothing I could do would ever bring him to me. I knew what was happening, and though my heat made it difficult, I tried to remember that this was only the heat that was making Katsuki treat me kindly. He had laid his claim on me in front of my friends and Denki. He told them that I was his mate. His mate. It had made me happy, ecstatic even, but it was just the heat.

Katsuki was down in the kitchen making us breakfast. It had been a full 24 hours since I had gone into heat. I had only been able to munch on a few crackers while drinking some juice and water before I would feel sick to my stomach. I was used to feeling sick during my heats, only this time it wasn't because I hated being in heat. I used to make myself sick with negative thoughts and pain. Now, my body was fighting to be on a normal cycle, and everything inside of me was cramping, churning, and shifting around in preparation for pregnancy.

Only I wasn't pregnant, nor could I get pregnant. I had ruined my reproductive system over the years. Those heat suppressants had pumped me so full of chemicals that my body would never be able to carry a child.

It didn't matter though. I was leaving once this was all over. I was just so tired.

This morning, Katsuki had woken up with me squirming in bed; my hands twisted into the blankets as the ash-blond's arms locked me against his chest. I couldn't even dwell on the fact that my Alpha was cuddling me in his sleep because my thighs were quivering and slick was dirtying the sheets- again.

However, Katsuki never got mad when he had to change them out or clean me up. I was embarrassed as all hell though.

When he had woken up with me rutting back into his groin, he had almost snapped. I saw the look of pure lust dripping from his eyes while he flipped me onto my back and hovered over me. But as quickly as he had me pinned and I thought he would finally give me what my body needed -- he was gone.

He pulled off of me and shook his head; I swore my heart would shatter at the rejection. He never got too close. He did the bare minimum, never touching me outside of a heat cycle or to help me clean up. I couldn't blame him; my Alpha didn't care for me intimately. This was something he was forced into. I couldn't force him.

When Katsuki came back into the bedroom, I was up and walking around. I had begun to get overwhelmed with the desire to start nesting. Something I had experienced before but never let myself enjoy. The last time I had started a nest, it was torn apart before my eyes.

It was probably one of the most emotional heats I ever had to endure.

I was walking around in nothing but one of Katsuki's shirts. It hung mid-thigh length and was just enough for me to not feel extremely bare when I wasn't in an active heat cycle, but comfortable enough to not irritate my sensitive skin. Plus, it smelt like Katsuki.

The ash-blond male looked at me with question's burning behind his eyes. I hadn't been out of bed since Katsuki brought me here over 24 hours ago. He carried a plate of food over to the bedside table and set it down along with a glass of juice, giving me a slight smile as a greeting. He must be embarrassed about what he had been doing with me all night. Or disgusted.

"Come eat, you must be hungry." He gestured to the plate of food but my mind was fixated on something else. I shook my head at his offer and, although I was hungry, I wanted to nest. I wanted to finally build my nest, and dammit, I was going to have it.

No one was here to stop me. My body craved it, and I was done not giving my body what it needed.

"Do you have pillows and -- and extra blankets?" I hesitantly asked. I was afraid he would catch on to what I was doing and refuse me. Katsuki didn't really want me, so building a nest would be futile. Nests were meant for breeding, and my Alpha refused me that. He told me that the first time that he wanted to, but he still refused. I normally don't associate my self worth with whether or not an Alpha wants to fuck me, but during my heat, it was pure and instinctual.

He didn't want me, and that hurt on a biological level.

"Pillows and blankets? Are you uncomfortable on the bed or something?" He asked and he seemed genuinely worried. It almost made me smile. Almost.

However, I only shook my head and walked to the area of the room that smelt even more like my mate. His closet was open slightly, a hamper half-filled with worn clothes sitting inside. I purred while walking over and opened the doors, my nose flaring as his scent became stronger.

"Yes -- I need something soft... Umm, with your scent on it." I mumbled while pulling a worn shirt from the hamper and holding it to my face. The rumbling in my chest growing louder as I greedily inhale my mate's scent.

"Soft with... my scent?" Katsuki questioned while coming to stand behind me. I wanted to lean back into him and enjoy his warmth, but I needed to be doing something. What did I need to be doing? I looked around the room until I found the perfect spot. A corner area with no window, private, and protected on the most sides so that I wouldn't be worried about other people coming by while being mated.

I grabbed hold of the sheets and tore the blankets off the bed while Katsuki narrowed his eyes in confusion as I tug the linens to the corner I had selected. The Alpha watched me curiously as I began piling up a bed of pillows and sheets from the bed onto the floor before going back to the closet and grabbing some of his used clothes.

Realization dawned on Katsuki's face as I began spreading out the fabrics and making a comfortable nest that was only big enough for us two. I looked over at the blond as he stood by the now baren bed with slightly widened eyes and parted lips.

"Oh--" He breathed out before his eyes flicked over to my nest. I wanted him to help me. He was my Alpha, the only one allowed to touch my nest without it causing me distress. I wanted this badly.

"You're nesting... aren't you?" He asked and I wanted to roll my eyes. I sometimes forget my Alpha was younger than me and probably had little life experience and knowledge on Omegas. I knew school taught us some things but did school ever prepare people enough for the real world? I didn't think so.

I nodded my head as I went back to fixing the sheets and fluffing the pillows out. It was missing something. I turned around only to notice that Katsuki was missing. I frowned, not liking his sudden departure when I clearly wanted his help with my nest.

My Alpha was stupid sometimes. I scoffed and threw some more of his clean shirts into the pile, spreading them out when Katsuki entered the room again carrying an armful of blankets.

"Are those my clean shirts?" He drew out while giving me a quizzical stare. However, my eyes were on the soft-looking blankets inside my mate's arms.

I moved aside, pointing to my nest and whimpered. This was perfect. My Alpha looked at me and his gaze softened, he looked almost sad when he smiled that gently at me.

"Okay, where do you want them?" Katsuki asked, crouching down beside me and dropping the blankets on the floor. I felt myself growing warmer with his kindness and I leaned my body into his side. The blond Alpha wrapped his arm around my waist to hold me upright while I went limp against his side. This all was exhausting.

My eyes trailed back over to the food sitting on the nightstand and Katsuki noticed.

"How about you go eat while I finish your nest?" He said softly while he shifted his weight onto his other foot, turning his squatted body in my direction. My stomach growled and I bit down on my lip causing my Alpha to chuckle.

"I'll take that as a yes." He whispered and helped me to my feet. Once he had me placed sitting up and back against the headboard, he placed the plate of eggs, toast, and fruit onto my lap.

Maybe my Alpha wasn't so stupid after all.

He managed to make foods for me that would be easy on my stomach. I smiled gratefully at him and began nibbling on the toast while Katsuki went to work on my nest. An overwhelming calmness filled my body as I watched him hunker down and begin fluffing up the pillows, pushing the blankets around until they make a nice area, and tucking his shirts inside the pillowcase as well as around the edge of the nest.

I watched as his Alpha instincts took over, pride bubbling up within my chest as he took great care in making me the perfect nest. I nibbled on the toast and took a few bites of the eggs and fruit before downing half the glass of apple juice. I was no longer hungry and I wanted to get back into my nest with my Alpha. It was almost complete, and although my Alpha refused to breed me, it was better than nothing just to have him lying with me inside my nest.

"Does it look alright?" Katsuki asked quietly, his eyes holding a certain uncertainty that made me smile. Was he nervous? I nodded quickly and watched as a smile ticked at his lips. He gestured to the area, wanting me to test it out and I swore my body lit on fire as my Alpha silently told me to get into our nest.

My body quivered with anticipation for something that would never come. I had to just deal with it. Did I even want to give myself fully to a man that would never love me?

If it was Katsuki - if it was my mate - I think that I might.

I frowned but crawled into the comfortable area that smelt heavily of Katsuki. His scent surrounded me and a low whine breathed past my lips. I curled up into the pillows, pressing my face into it to inhale him more. I wouldn't get this again. I needed to make it last. I snapped my eyes over to Katsuki who stood there watching me, a slight smile gracing his face.

"Come lie with me, Alpha," I whispered and scoot over. No nest was complete without an Alpha.

I could see Katsuki's eyes trailing over the image before him. I could almost imagine what he was seeing while I wished he would be happy with me. I mean, his mate was naked from the waist down, wearing his shirt, and inside a nest built for breeding. Was it even breeding if I couldn't give him children? I tensed my jaw as the thought ran through my body like ice.

I hated that I had ruined myself. Was that why he refused to mate with me? He knew. Somehow he knew that I was broken now.

Katsuki must have sensed my discomfort because he knelt down while pulling off his shirt. I watched him and swallowed as he pressed his shirt up beside my head, his scent assaulting me and forcing my eye closed with a low moan that passed my parted lips. He crawled into the space beside me, lying down and opening his arms slightly for me to move in closer.

I immediately dove in, pressing my face into his shoulder while my hands rest flat on his chest. His heart was beating fast underneath my palms and I knew that he was aware I could hear it. I made him nervous I think, and I was not sure if I liked that or not.

I wanted things to be easier, but they never would be. Not until this all was over and I could leave. I knew Katsuki was only acting on instincts. That's all this would ever be. It was all it has ever been since he showed up at my house that day.

That hurt me more than I should have let it hurt.

Yet just now, when Katsuki pulled me closer and rested his head on top of mine, I felt like this could be real. I could be his perfect Omega.

His perfect mate.

I could be the perfect match for him and give him children and a home. I could love him and he could love me.

If only it weren't wishful thinking and I didn't know that in three days, I would be leaving again. This time for good. I wouldn't come crawling back. I wouldn't wait for him, and once I was back to my full health, positive that the snap would not kill me, I would break our bond.

I would be the one to do it. Katsuki would finally be happy and able to live his life, and maybe I would be able to find my happiness as well. Maybe.