Katsuki Bakugou

(Angst)

"NO! P-PLEASE! It h-hurts! Y-you're h-hurting me! I d-don't w-want to d-die! P-Please!"

My breath caught in my throat while watched Izuku shiver in pain. This wasn't normal, the way he was clutching onto me and crying over some form of pain had my skin breaking out in gooseflesh.

Breaking our bond wouldn't kill him, it would only hurt like a bitch. That's what I had been told at least. However, the way his body seemed to be violently shaking as his breath shallowed made me believe that this was actually hurting him way more than I had expected. The thought of him actually dying from something I did had my insides twisting. My instincts were clawing at me to protect my mate from whatever pain he was experiencing. 

His screams froze my body and cut my words off yet again. How could I finish my sentence when he was screaming and gasping at my feet? I noticed his eyes rolling in the back of his head and I began to panic. He had said something about dying and as his eyes dropped shut and his weak body sags to the floor, my instincts kicked in full force. It was as if something took over my body and I moved quickly.

Diving down to my knees I tried to catch his fall, but I was too late. His head smacked the hardwood floor and I winced while grabbing at his frail body. I carefully slid an arm under his head and pulled him back against my chest.

The touches, although small, sent surges of sparks and heat through my skin and I inhaled sharply while tugging Izuku closer. I pressed a hand to his neck, my body moving on its own as I desperately tried to calm my Alpha nature that was worried sick over my mate.

He is breathing and his heart was fluttering. Closing my eyes, I focused on calming myself. I could hear his heart beating weakly behind his ribs and although it doesn't sound healthy, it proved he was still alive and that calmed me - a bit.

Scooping my other arm under his knees, I stood up and tucked him against my chest. This was not how I pictured today going at all. Granted I might have been a bit harsh; I was angry. I was - but now seeing Izuku passed out and pale in my arms had a sharp pain of guilt squeezing my heart.

Izuku did not look well at all. I had told him he looked like shit, and he does, but not for the reason he might have mistaken me for. I was shocked when I saw him at first, my instincts had taken over the moment I caught his scent and then matched up that sweet strawberries and cream smell with the sickly Omega in the doorway. It didn't make sense. 

I hadn't expected to see him like that. My last memories of him were when he was lively with bright eyes. His skin used to have signs of life and warmth, however now he was thin. His once-bright eyes were dull and there were bags under them. Even his skin seemed to be lifeless.

Was he sick, or worse, dying? My father's words rung in my head as I quickly carried Izuku to his bedroom, sniffing out his scent to find the correct room.

"We have been sending him stuff with your scent on it over the past 4 years to.... make sure he didn't go crazy... or worse."

Was this the 'or worse' my dad had been talking about? My heart thumped irregularly in my chest as I placed Izuku under the covers in his bed. Taking a step back, I was hit with a wave of unease as I stared at his limp body.

He lived alone and I had no idea what to do about this. He seemed sick, but I didn't know what to do to help other than let him sleep. My mind howled at me to comfort him - but I refused. I came here to break our bond, and I would do just that as soon as I knew it wouldn't kill him. I might be harboring anger towards him, but I did not want him to die. He didn't deserve to die.

My parents were right when they reminded me that he was only a child when everything happened. He was 18, legally an adult, but still so young, and he had to make the choice to stay away from me for so long. Even his letter had expressed his remorse and dedication to me. Nonetheless, I couldn't simply forget the past, nor the pain that he had brought me.

When he is better again, I can break our bond so we both can live our own lives and I will feel better knowing that his death would not be on my hands.

His body trembled in his sleep and I stepped closer to get a better look at his condition. He hasn't changed much physically since I last saw him. Surprisingly, I remembered him well. Despite the obvious changes in his health, his body hasn't changed much.

His hair still sported those messy green curls that would never seem to fall just right. I spotted his freckles that dust his cheekbones and I have to physically move back to keep myself from reaching out and touching his soft-looking cheeks.

I could already feel the mate pull between us and it was fucking with my head. It doesn't mask the anger I have towards him; however, I was worried about him almost as much as I hated him. His health state had been a shock to me, and I knew that my instincts will not let me leave him right now. Not when he was simply lying there, pale and shivering. I took a seat in a chair sitting on the other side of his room and thought about my options.

I didn't have many as of now. I knew I had to stay here until he got better or until I figured out what was wrong with him and get him some help. I could take him back home so his mother could take care of him. However, I quickly toss that idea out the window, knowing damn well that I have already become invested. The moment he collapsed at my feet my Alpha instincts went crazy. If I tried letting him out of my sight now, I might tear something or someone down trying to get to him.

Deciding my course of action, I pull out my phone and send a text to my mother letting her know that I arrived and that Izuku was sick so I would be staying here for a while. She knew of my plans to reject him and I can tell she was being careful not to say something that might push me towards rejecting him sooner. My mother wasn't happy about things but she definitely did not want me making a rash decision.

The stupid woman doesn't know me very well then if she assumes that I haven't already tried rejecting him.

For the next few hours, I sat in the chair watching him sleep. I made my way around his apartment figuring out where things were and trying to get an idea of Izuku's life. The place was quite empty. It was kept clean, but I could tell the last few days have been rough by the look of things around the apartment. The dishes had been piled up in the sink and there was laundry spewed around his room.

I did not stop my exploring until I heard rough coughing coming from the bedroom where Izuku was at. I walked over to the door and stepped inside to see Izuku pushing himself up and trying to sit his body up while hacking his lungs out.

"Stop trying to move." My voice seemed to shock him and he freezes, the panic in his eyes was clear as he frantically searched the room. It had me frowning a bit. He only relaxed when his eyes landed on me, but they quickly filled with tears that I tried my best to ignore. My chest tightened as I saw him desperately trying to hold himself together and moved out of the bed to stand up.

"What are you doing?!" I could not help my angry tone as I rushed over to him and shifted his body back into bed and lay him down. I tried to ignore the sparks that burst through my skin as I made contact with him, just another reminder of the bond that I failed to break.

Our bodies pulled at each other to accept the bond and claim each other as mates. It filled my body with a painful need to be near him. Even as I pulled away from him and watched his wide eyes that were full of unshed tears, I could still feel the lingering sensations on my hands from where I had touched his arms.

"I thought you left..." His voice cracked, barely above a whisper and I heard his heart stop momentarily before it continues thumping away in his chest. As I stepped back again to put more distance between our bodies, his hand darted out and grabbed my wrist to hold me still. His hand causing sizzling pleasure to run through me made me jerk my hand away.

"I'm sorry!" His voice was hoarse and dry as he stared at me. His eyes were blown wide in desperation, his pheromones were thick in the air. His distress was obvious.

"Midoriya -- " I warned, avoiding his eyes as he stared at me. I did not know how much longer I could watch those eyes filled with tears. It angered me to see him so distraught over me. He was the one that left after being a creep and touching me. He shouldn't be crying over me. I thought I had gotten over the fact that he had felt me up when I was a child still, but seeing him now brought back all the confusion and pain. All I wanted to do was lash out. It hurt. He hurt me.

"I'm so sorry! I will be better! I won't hurt you again! I'm s-so sorry!" His crying eyes settled on mine and I winced at the red puffy skin around them.

"Just d-don't leave me..." Izuku sat there begging -- and for a split second -- my eyes softened as I looked at him before I sighed deeply and averted my eyes again. My instincts were screaming for me to comfort my mate, only making me twitch in anger that part of me still referred to him as my mate and not just Izuku.

"Stop crying," I said blankly as I reached out and pushed him gently back to the mattress. I swiped my thumb under his eyes, and as much as my body loved the proximity, I moved away again quickly. I could feel the difference already. Izuku was unfamiliar and cold, his body trembling with held-back sobs. I could tell he was trying not to upset me; he looked almost desperate for me to stay with him.

"You need to eat." My voice was low as I sighed while walking out of the room. I went and made him a sandwich and brought it to him along with a cup of water. When I set the plate down on his lap and placed the cup on the bedside desk, his eyes widened but there was a pain to them that had him looking helplessly at the sandwich.

"What?" I spat harshly but tried to relax when I saw him flinch back. I didn't know why I cared so much about how I was affecting him now, but it seemed that the mate pull was fucking with my emotions even more now.

"I -- I can't eat, I just throw it back up..." His words sent ice down my spine as my eyebrows crossed in confusion while I worried on my lip. Was he really sick?

"Are you sick?" Blurting out I kept my face as calm as I could while inside my Alpha was clawing for me to embrace Izuku and make sure he was alright. I couldn't help but tense up as Izuku coughed again and winced, telling me that there was definitely something wrong. I took a step closer to his bedside and kneeled down so I could see him better.

"Tell me what's going on. You look like shit and you are skin and bones." I watched as his eyes glazed over and hardened with an emotion foreign for Izuku. 

Anger. 

I tensed as the Omega whipped his head around to glare at me. His eyes were wide and his teeth bared at me had me tensing and on edge as his obvious display of aggression.

"Why the hell would I tell you?!" He snapped making me freeze and watch him as he shook slightly. He tried to collect himself while my own anger bubbled up. What made him think he could snap at me after all the shit that he had done to me!?

However, I swallowed my anger and watched as he calmed himself, glaring at the plain sandwich in his lap.

"You're right. I am not here to chat. You need to eat and get better so we can break this bond without it killing you." I spoke evenly while standing up. I walked back to the chair across the room and stared at Izuku as his eyes filled with tears again. Somehow, despite my anger towards him, I could not stop my heart from bleeding at the sight of his blank face stained with tears. His shaky hands picked up the sandwich and brought it to his lip.

He ate slowly and carefully, his eyes never once lifting up to look at me again as he finished his sandwich.

"Drink." Pointing to the cup on the nightstand, he doesn't even look up but instead reaches over to grab the cup. He tipped it back as he quickly chugged the liquid down. It calmed me a bit to see him feeding himself but somewhere inside I knew that no amount of food would fix whatever was wrong with Izuku right now.

And that bothered me more than I would like to admit.